Kris Kringle again with a Murder Attempt

What has it been?
Five years and counting that my Mother tries to murder someone during the holidays.

This time, I was too wise for her attempts and foiled her plans to give my 'German' medicinal powder to help my with allergies.

But she is not one to give up so quickly.
If she can;t murder me, she will go after the unsuspecting victim.

My Father.

My Father is deadly allergic to nuts.

And what does Mother do?

Claim she did not have cinnamon available and so she grounded up cinnamon sticks in the same grinder that she grounded nuts in a few months prior.

She innocently baked the cookies and said, "Here dear. I made you cookies. The ones you love."

My Dad bit into one and his throat seized up.

I think my Mother is testing out her murder attempts on the family.

Not enough to kill us but enough to know she can get away with it in the event she really wants to off someone.

Who she is aiming for is any one's guess.

So during the holidays...watch the offerings from my Mother.

Happy and safe Holidays from the Blonde!!


What A Freaking Crazy Christmas Card

If I sent a letter with my Christmas cards it would be a first. Not only for the letter but for sending out cards.

The last time I sent out a Christmas card was when I hand painted Santa with his pants down mooning the recipient.

It was a great card and its a Hallmark to my Aunt. I have not sent out a card since she died. Its the only thing I can do to show her how special she was to our family.

And to let her know, that every year...we still think about her just as much as if she were alive.

I believe in science and I believe her atoms burst apart the moment she exhaled her last breath sending all those beautiful atoms across the universe to be received by new birth.

My Aunt's beautiful atoms grace the bodies of new life..whether that be a bug, a bird, a baby...she lives on!

Good and kindness live on because of her!

The Blonde bows at the ever greatness of life's circle!


Merry Bloody Christmas

Holy cow!!! The drama that is unfolding this season is beyond any soap opera writer's wet dream.

I have to give you it in tidbits or you will explode by the thought of it all.


Sister's best friend's husband tried to kill himself.

They thought the mixture of pain killers caused a suicidal tendency.


The freak was having an affair with a married woman.

He found out she was having an affair with another man.

He left a note in his girlfriend's husband's car tattle tailing that she was sleeping with him and another man

Seriously, what a douche!!!

are you still with me...


The suicidal douche did not bother to leave a note for his wife..my sister's best friend.

Not only is she a best friend, she is our family and you don;t fuck with our family.

When the douche gets out of the psych ward which will be delayed so our sister can get her shit moved out..

will come home to nothing more than a stocking full of coal.

The Blonde is cherry red with happy!!


Janis Joplin

Watch her over and over and over...

and over




Maybe you forgot?!

How Can I Explain?

I don't have to..I have Cat to do the explaining for me!

You Kant

Mill your self through this life!

Die or live but don't waste my air on your ignorance!

Holiday Suicide Song

The 90s version of Hamlet in song!

Perception and Reality

should not be on such a narrow line.

We all walk a tight rope...

The performer and the spectator

I can see it now

I am on the wire

I step out

onto the high wire

I balance

I bend my knees

I crouch

I swing my arms

I flip


I land

on the wire






And so many of you thought I would fall

and even more of you

were wishing I did...

Wish and think all you like about me

but in the end

you will still be wrong

The Blonde has had a hard and long life!!

American Military Rule!!!

Be Bad


not angry

Be mean

but not hurtful

Be proud

but not arrogant

Be brave

but be afraid

Be all you can be

but bring it all baok home...

The Blonde Kant but Mill!

Holidays Ake Me Want to Die

The Holidays!

The Blonde is bringing the best of suicidal jingles for your holiday pleasure!!!!



Oedipus means 'swollen foot' and not 'to see'...

Oedipus had a screwy Mother who believed in prophecy and when an oracle told her her kid would kill her baby Daddy and marry her...

She did what any normal baby Mamma would do after reading the horoscope in the local news rag...

She and her husband pierced the babies feet and bound them together before handing over the bundle of curse over to a Sheppard who was to take the baby to the top of the cliff and leave it there to die of exposure..which is a nice term for starve, dehydrate, and freeze or burn to death.


and a big but...

The Shepard, ditched the dirty deed and handed the baby over to the royal family of the hood next door.

I am sure they paid better for adoption than the Thebes paid for the disposal but whatever..


to make a long Greek tragedy short...

Someone told Oedipus of his fate and he left his parents to save their lives.

Unfortunately they were not his real parents and so he left his safety zone

and low and behold

karma guided him directly into killing his real Daddy on the way out of town..

What are the odds of that happening without Apollo?


He stops to play some casinos and he ends up cracking the Sphinx jeopardy game and this lushes Jocasta is all about the new guy and they marry

Jocasta and Odi-puss have daughters and rule the kingdom and have a great life and


Someone has to pee on their parade

Why they waited so long to avenge the death of the King...'Creon"?

not to mention names, Creon!

but seriously...was your promotion due, Creon?!!

Creon is to blame for the whole debacle if you ask me.

Creon got Odi all in a ruckus over the truth and when Odi finally digged the whole deep enough to uncover it

the hole was to be a grave for his Mother/ Wife after she hung herslef buy her own hair..that's commitment to suicide..seriously.

He stabs his eyes out with some gold chatchkis--tacky --and I personally thought he did it to afford him some grace and pity..

Ain't know one going to be mean to a blind dude even if he did kill his Daddy, marry his Mother, and bore a bunch of daughters...

The end of Odi's life is unclear but I am pretty sure his brother-in-law took pity on him and kept Odi well fed in a tower somewhere.

The Blonde is done with another semester!


and Oedipus have one thing in common...they are both tragically possessed by a victim complex.

Seriously, I want to knock Hamlet in the head and tell him to snap out of it but Horatio cock blocks me.

If Hamlet is crazy, it would be much easier to believe if Horatio and the two knights never saw dead Hamlet's Daddy smogging up the sky way with a truth of his murder.

The ghost is validated after Hamlet throws an impromptu play for the King- who murdered his papa and the Queen- which is his Mother who married the murderous King way before the body of Hamlet's beloved Father was cold..an issue Hamlet has a hard time trying to kick

many literature pros's have tried to link incestuous lust and behavior on the part of the King and Queen but they must be breathing down Freud's crazy train exhaust because if you read the play...

and you are privy to royalty and the wealthy's proclivity to keeping wealth in the family, they often do marry cousins and what nits..

Gross in this day but hardly unacceptable in the day of Shakespeare.

He was not introducing anything new to the wealthy, they did not patron his shows, but the poor sods who came in droves to his theater and bringing their ignorant mind, ate it up with such valour and disgust to make it more than it really was..

and then Freud and his f--ed up little mind just dug it out of the dusty library and made something of it to make his career..

Do not quote me and I am super tired and have not edited this...

The Blonde is letting the poison sword of tongue lay unedited tonight..in other words of tongue and pen..nothing different



The proverbial nowhere.

Where you don't live, yet you don't go

Its where you are

and yet you are not there

no walls surround it

no gates lock it

no guards protect it

you can't arrive

you can't leave

There are no doors

There are no windows

No path that leads out

No path that leads in

The wind does not blow

The sun does not shine

The moon does not light the evening sky

For there is no night

There is no day

Mother Nature offers no season

Father Time offers no hand

Purgatory is not a place

for the condemned

for the sinner

or for the lost soul

Pergatory is a deceptive state of being that too many willingly embrace!

The Blonde would like to banish pergatory but to many embrace its comforts!!


Loving You is Wrong

The Blonde won't ever be right!!

I would go blinde for you baby!!

Retro Friday Tuned In for Today

I will play memory lane later...

this kinda music is needed for my people...

And my people won't vote!


The Sunset Limited

In most people's mind it is a train that used to run from the Atlantic to the Pacific in the southern part of America.

But for many, the Sunset Limited was a final destination.

A ride they wanted to take all their life but never quite got a chance to.

They were so busy surviving and living inside humanities ills and rules that they had hardly anytime to enjoy a ride.

The Sunset Limited was going to be their last ride.

Their fond farewell.

Their trans-continental epiphany to the edge of the world.

This play, this story, this dialogue between an atheist and a believer is my epitaph from community college.

Its the final term paper I write before carrying on with a full blown university.

I can write a paper with my eyes closed but this one...

this one...

I need to be great!

I need to blow this one out of the park, and not because it means anything to anyone or a final A in my Associate studies but because...

I need to know that even with out a reason or an end or a prize...

That I...


have it in me to give my best when the world keeps throwing me their worst!!

The Blonde has no limitations!!!


The King and All of His men

The Blonde is a wench who will gladly serve up some media for this fab band!!!

So Many Wizards

Nico has only 154 views...let's help this band out!!


Life is lived in a blink of an eye...music we love chronicles how we feel in a nano-milla second of that blink and lingers on...

Load up my headstone with the mp3's of my life but don't bury me...

I have a panic attack just thinking of being in a box buried 6ft below..what a scary place to be...

Take me out to sea in a giant yacht, blast some music, shoot some somalian pirates, and firecracker my ashes over the harbor in Cannes!!!

If you could wait 30 to 40 years before I die of natural causes that would be great~!!

Before its Gone

Music is the Blonde's air!


Compliments of Toys

When the novelty of war wears off, we as a society, a nation, a people, a species, an inhabitant

will realize way too late that we are arguing over things that do not belong to us..and it will be taken away by humanities own hands

the irony is we will be destroyed before we learn our lesson

We no longer deserve redemption.
We deserve destruction, doom, and death...

Let a new species come about us..
We have digressed in the years of our fore fathers and the eye of the pyramid looks at us and realizes we honor the dollar bill more than humanity...

I say send a giant asteroid and let us start over.

The Blonde can't wait to come back to a simple Utopian world!!


The Blonde wishes she could find her home!!

Veteran's Day

My deepest respect to every soldier, past and present!!!

The Blonde's love and respect for our brave soldiers carry 365!!

Some Dusty Vintage

The Blonde never met a preacher's son!

Friday Music Lesson Commences

Ben Howard is soulful and brilliant and definately worth a spot in your personal music catalog

I can only pray that in my next life, God will honor me with the talent for music.

The Blonde bows to these musical demi gods!!!

Bruno Mars

It will rain...

I know its raining for someone today because I walked by a dead cat in the parking lot of an office building and after searching craigslist..I found the owner and broke the news...

How sad..

My heart hurts for you today....

I wish I knew what happened to my Pepa...

Closure sometimes has to be found within...

The Blonde rather closure from outside sources!!!!


The Tin Man was Lucky not to have a heart

...this was a tweet that came my way...

If the Tin man was lucky enough to not have a heart..than why did he want one so bad?

He must have heard something good about having a heart, otherwise he would have told Dorothy to F-- Off and go on his own merry way.

Why did the Lion want courage?

Where did he learn it was wrong to be a coward?

The Scarecrow wanted....what the fuck did he want...


need to google..

Oh holy crap..he wanted a brain...lol..I forgot that a few aspire to have a brain.

We are so busy dumbing down society to fit the needs of our politicians, we forget to smart up in an effort to help our fellow man and woman.

I am not voting and I hope you follow in not voting as well. It will send a statement to no one and the electoral college will vote for who they want any way but it would show the smart people that their vote does not really count.

The dumb people will still be oblivious of the outcome because Wal Mart, KFC and McDonalds have yet to put in flat screens.

Voting gives people the belief they have control over our government.

The government is not about the people anymore..its grown too large, too ineffective, and self serving.

I think I am like most Americans when I say...I just don't give a shiite anymore ( unless I can stuff one and hang him over my mantle)...I am not voting because nothing is going to change and I am not wasting the $4.50 gallon of gas to get my voice discounted.

I will be hosting a very large party on election day...It will be off the coast of Italy...

The Blonde thinks the elections belong in the Enquirer not in the news!~!!


Masking Our History

It is hard to face the fact that we have all been assholes through our lives when it comes to social change...but if we can just say..yes..we were assholes..apologize... and find a way to fix our thinking...


We all deserve a second chance..maybe not in personal life but in our society..we may have been influenced improperly by the media and neighbors and we should be able to correct it.

My Mother used to tell me, if you were sorry, you would have nothing to apologize for in the first place.

She is one giant hypocrite and although her message did not ring true for her..it did ring true for me.

I will not apologize for anything because I didn't hurt anyone based on jealousy, anger, lies, ill intent, or greed.

If I loved someone, it was because I loved them..Raine, Augusto, Dallas...

and I understand they did not maliciously hurt me...they were unlovable...they could not love...

at least not me...

and its OK..

I owe no apology other than to my Boo..my gift from God and one I wish I was more worthy of...

I got the Holy Grail of Sons...

He may be a pain in the ass to me, his MOM, but in the real world..

He is a leader,

He is a kind and generous lover,

He is a brilliant man!!!!

Yet, not a push over.

He is strong and stubborn and perfect!!!

And with solid resolution; he will defend his lover, his family, his country, and his God...

And he is leaving for Afghanistan next month...

The Blonde can not hide her fears!!


To Love SOmeone Woman style

Janis Joplin...style

Women love with more soul!! Just is!!

Une Derniere Fois

One more Time...

To live you need to love...something or someone!!


I Must Rebel

or digress..there is no way in hell I am not buying something designer this year and so what is my favorite fashion...


I bought another pair of over the top, over the knew Rebel Luma boots.

I would not call these super designer like Laboutin or Jimmy Choo...but for me they are perfect for school and my trip to New York.

For the holidays, I am treating myself to a trip to New York. I found a fab little boutique hotel called the Library Hotel..Its concept is based on the dewey decimal system. I thought it would be fun to cram the end of semester studying in at the New York Public Library and do some walking, walking, walking...

The only excercise I have gotten is sitting at my desk, bouncing on an excercise ball.

I need to get away from my desk!

The Blonde is going vogue!!


Taking Risks

I am taking baby steps to create a little risk in my life.

I started depositing money back into my miniscule Ameritrade account. I am building my money market account and eventually will get back to trading futures and options.

Believe it or not, I was actually pretty good at it.

I had a major loss when I let my X participate in my account and I lost my shirt on coffee.

I also made the mistake of trusting a trader in California to handle my corn trades back before ethanol was involved and he did not place my order and I again lost my shirt.

Something about men and my money end up with me in the red.

I am finding life much easier to handle and much more proseprous without a man around.

I think I like this new life style.

Its me again, on my own and not caring about having a man in my life.

I like this.

No to say, I am not lonely at times but I am not going to let that deter me and look for something that I really don;t want or need to fulifll an emptiness.

Money can fill that void for me.

I could take my money and grab a flat, buy a new car, or fill my closet again with designer goods but you know what?

Those things don't make me feel better about me...

Those things make other people feel better about me...

and I don't need anyone to feel better about me.

I feel pretty great on my own.

I rather sink my money back into the markets and take a little financial risk again.

Its always panned out so much better than a man.

Life is coming back full circle.

Baby steps to get there but I will.

I will get back everything I lost and more.

All I can say is...

Who the hell needs a man around?

The Blonde found a new market!!


The Dingy Blonde

I am the dingy blonde.

My whole life I have been waiting for someone to help pull me in from the ocean.

It gets tiring swimming against the tide.

The waves grow larger.

The water grows deeper.

And after treading and swimming on my own, I reach for someone, anyone...to pull me in.

And they do...

I can always find someone to pull me in...

but only to the dingy...

never to the boat.

I drift behind the boat in a dingy...

and I am so grateful just for not having to tread, all alone, anyomore, that I take that dingy as if it were the boat.

But as I float in that dingy...I begin to see the boat in front of me.

And I wonder, why can;t I come on the boat?

What is it about me, that no one ever pulls me in all the way?

I have been floating on the back end of someone's boat for so long being grateful for so little.

And now, I don;t ask anymore...I just never reach out anymore.

I don't need a dingy.

I have been treading this long.

I have built strength and endurance.

I will keep swimming.

What choice do I have.


Not a chance.

The Blonde is too stubborn to get in anyone's dingy again!!!


Cheap Flights

Who the fuck do you think I am?

I had a credit that I was willing to use to meet up with you in NOLA..
but you chose to pay for my flight..

I gave you the dates I was willing to fly and you ignored them...

You are trying to find the cheapest flight and the longest stay to accomadate your sexual needs at a T.J. Maxx discount.

Are you fucking kidding me?!!

Where did desperate fornication show up on profile?!

I will ditch you plane ticket in a blink of an eye.

Your ticket is non-refundable...

And you don't get a refund as far as I am concerned!!!

The Blonde will never be discounted!!!


Don't Care Any More

The Blonde really does not care anymore!!!

I Wish It Would Rain

Yes..that is Eric Clapton and Phil Collins...

If I were blessed, I would have been married to Phil Collins forever....

And before I loved Phil...I loved Jack Lemmon...

Silly for a 15 year old to love Jack Lemmon; he was so old; but it was something on the inside, behind those eyes...

Phil has that...that something behind those eyes

Something that makes me want to cry and hold them until they stop hurting...

but now...my eyes are not the same....

I don't see anyone's hurt but my own...

The Blonde is still well aware of her fucked up ness!!


Old School

What happened to it?

And where can I go to get it back?

While I may not get back to the days of youth, I can smirk in the satisfaction looking up old boyfriends on facebook and finding them still 'fine' looking.

I picked right back then. I picked for looks only and it served me well, and every time I travel back in time and sneak a peak at my old boyfriends...I smile..

I do more than smile...

I grin from ear to ear thinking that could have been mine right now.

But memories and realities co-mingle into a fuzzy warm memory less than the reality of it..but isn't that the way we remember?

Isn't that the way we see things?

In a soft glow and pink light when we recall our past...

Our life, now in full fluorescent light, just waiting to catch us under the wrong shadow and reveal every horrible wrinkle we have accumulated on our face.

How cruel time can be when its spent as a single woman?

Single men do not have that queer misfortune...the wish of a soft pink glow of light is a women's fate..

Men are too busy thinking their money carries their looks; they hardly bother to look in the mirror and look for any inclination as to question the color of their bathroom bulb?

The Audacity!!

As charming as it is...LOL

But men are not my concern tonight...

Tonight, I am concerned about me, and the reality of Whittier's words...

"What if?"

Women, even the wealthiest ones, never look to their money for affirmation...

They foolishly look for love and create a false sense of love in the men they find to have...

and unlike men, the mirror is much more harsh in the eyes of a female beholder...

much, much more beholding...

A woman can't only be wealthy-she needs to be young and pretty and charming and daring and worthy...

of what?

No!! seriously!! I am asking...

I am still asking...

and sooooooo.....

and so she places pretty soft pink illuminating bulbs in all her powder rooms ...giving her the false sense of a youth and softness that has long since vanished.

Pink lighting for the lady and blue steel for the gentleman's vault...




We are old school!!

We are the dusty old yearbook that no one will sign any more.

When they say all the good ones are taken...its true..they are...

I am not a good one

and now I do not aspire to be that one for someone

because they are no better than me

If I were normal...I would have been able to hold onto one of those lovely picture perfect men that I see clinging to their wives on facebook.

but I am not and neither are any of the idiots I have dated!

We are of the same feather and we will always flock together...

My Ex's think they are so much better than me and in the end; they are too much like me

Damaged goods!!

Brilliantly damaged and bruised to such imperfection that neither of us dare look at oursleves in the mirror as we truely are!!!

and now...

I grin and smirk and smile at the thought of that!!

Its OK, the Blonde knows she will never graduate!!!


Ah Quiet

It is super quiet today, the television that usually blasts 24 hours of opinionated news is off and I was befreinded by the liberal on my facebook this weekend after I suggested he do more activism or do more shutting the hell up.

I am tired of the complaining and the bitching from all fronts regarding politics. Obviously nothing is going to be done to correct the situation from the status quo.

And the poepl in power do not care about the status quo. They care about their pockets, their freind's pockets, and what they can do to keep full pockets and power.

The little blonde like me has to put up with it and just find a way to live happy while under the direction of these dip heads.

And nothing will be fixed since everyone has a special interest in themselves.

Let's stop the bitching.

Geez..I feel like I am married to a bitchy wife having to hear her complain all day about something she is not happy with.

And if I wanted to divorce, I wouldn't be able to because I can't afford to move away.

That is where the American people are.

Stuck with a bitch that we can't afford to seperate from.

The Blonde is tuning out!!


Bring It On Crooners

Some music dedications to all those lonely hearts out there...Music is the one and only thing you can count!!

Just Because

this song f---ing rocks!!!

I am Still Waiting

Did I wait too long?!!

When Your The One

your this song....


The Common Denominator

I can't have the ones I want and I don't want the ones I can have...

The Blonde is pretty sure that = single!!

Feelin Good

The Blonde bows to the great Nina Simone!


Rural And Urban

do not mesh...

There are great looking Texas men but they live in Austin and Dallas. Houston not so much...they have the pudgy fingers and they are a little too rugged for my taste.

When i talk Texan..I mean people that live way out in Dirtsville around the edges of no city. Their manners are brash and they are cocky without having anything to be arrogant about.

I thought it would be nice if I give Mr. Barnyard one more chance to redeem himself but he proved to have manners of a horsefly.

Thrice did he interrupt me in mid statement on the phone to take another call. He is not a surgeon nor running a covert operation...he has email and the calls best waited.

He might want to reconsider going to charm school and try picking up manners by mistake.

I doubt he could learn them...you can't teach old dogs...

He is definitely not worth the mileage on my car.

Personally I don't think he had phone calls at all. I think he had a temper tantrum and just hung up because I told him again I was not riding out to the country to spend the weekend with him.

What ever happened to dating and getting to know someone?

These guys know that if you keep getting to know them...they will never get laid!!

The Blonde is sticking to southern mannered city dwellers only.



I try not to use ADD medicine and work on my own but with work, school ,ad Boo going off to Afghan..something had to give...

And it was my focus!!

I can't get through Aristotle and Plato and deal with the down trodden dieter without some of my sanity breaking.

So I took the plunge and went to the Doctor..it had been so long since I have seen my MD that I forgot his name and where the office was.

It took some serious recall!!

I got the prescription and went to my neighborhood pharmacy.

What is funny? The woman in front of me was having a conniption fit because her medicine was out of stock.

Guess what?!

Her meds were the same one I was trying to get.

Apparently, the Westlakey Mothers used up all their kids Adderall for dieting purposes and now they are all in a refill frenzy mode to replace the meds for their kid's mid-terms.

The woman in front of me looked like she was dealing with her Drug Daddy than she did a pharmacist. When he told her that they were out, you could see her begin to twitch like a zebra with horse flies.

She serously needs to step away from the counter. But she did not. her little head swirled like Linda Blair in that devil movie and I might have exaggerated this..but she seemed to spew venom from her eyes at me when she thought I was going to push her aside from the 'drop-off' counter at the local Heebee Jeebees.

I think the junior pharmacist saw I was about to be eaten by the adderall-a-medusa and she quickly saved me by pulling me to another 'drop-off' window.

While out of harms way the junior pharmacist explained to me that the entire lot of adderall had been carnaged in the entire Westlakey and Bee Keys area.

I looked at the bug-eyed speed Mom next to me and simply said..."No Problem"

And then I calmly left the building like anyone who was not hooked on prescription speed would.

Ahh Haaa!!!!!

I didn't go so ballistic..I merely went up the street 10 miles and found Target outside the Westlakey zone and they filled me up.

let this be a warning to you...Woman that you marry because you think they are perfect are hardly that and you deserve what you wish for!!!

You wonder why women are bitches and their kids bullies?!!

Think Stepford!

Think Adderall!

If you do not have A.D.D. and take adderall than you are just a speed freak in a fancy zip code kidding yourself!!


Meanwhile, I will be thinking Plato, Aristotle, and the ethics that govern our lives!

And still struggling with A.D.D.

The Blonde wont abuse a good thing!!

Oh Lord, Texans!!

what the hell do you do with them?

As a woman, I say throw them back in the Brazos River and let them float away.

I just don't understand Texas men who think they are God's gift to women when clearly--they are not!!

They have mirrors but they don't see anything but what they make and not who they are.

They think flashing their things around is going to make a girl want to play their house buddy when they are bored yet they never plan on taking care of them.

Its all about the Texan being taken care of and the woman is just the 'little lady' in the house who needs to be seen with big tits and not heard--especially if she has a political opinion.

They want the woman to be super attractive when they look like an obese midget with giantism...

Seriously they all have stubby fingers..its very odd!!

What the baffook (new word)?!!

I have to fish outside the Texas pond for my men because clearly this East coast girl can not deal!!

The Blonde likes out of state!!!

Gone, Gone, And Gone

I finally cleared out my guy friend pantry.

Its funny, I hate telling men i don;t love them when I actually still do but it seems the only way to get them to go away.

Its harsh but I have to do what is best for me and having lingering 'friends' around that I am secretly hoping a commitment from is just stupid-in my opinion.

Plus, we all know how I feel about past sexual relationships turning into friendship that really is just a front for playing safe and still keeping the girl.

If a man can't commit to me, than he does not get to keep me as a comfort blanket.

End of story.

The new story is a whole new genre of men. I have a NOLA visit coming up with a hottie from Facebook that I have been putting off.

I am not really looking for much these days. I need to finish school and see where that road leads me.

I am hoping it leads me down a silk road where money will be no object and i can travel and find men in unusually fabulous places up and down Italian Riviera.

Why settle for Americans; when their is a world of men to meet!!

The Blonde just needs to finish her law degree!!!


There Are No Second Chances

Not true...

There are plenty of second chances. They may not be in the same direction as you once took but there are if you keep going.

Change up your navigation until the right road is taken and then the world will open new roads to steer you in the direction that you were supposed to take all along.

So, if you think about it...screwing up a first chance might be becaause you were suppose to.

I just finished my ethics exams and did very well. I aced my literature essays, and I have a complete application in to UT.

My law degree is a little closer to happening.

Something that should have happened long ago..or should it have?

Maybe I need to go through all the things I have in order to get to this patch of road...

The road untried...

The road with risk and hope and all the good things tied up in not giving up.

its very evident to me that a housewife is not my destiny.

Something is and I am excited to find out.

In the meanwhile, I have no desire to settle with anyone nor let them settle upon me and steer me off the wrong path.

That being said....

The Blonde is alright with being single forever!!!


Whose Rockin the Written Life?

At the moment I am.

I have given up on trying to follow a life that obviously is not mine.

Through all my adjustments and failures, I have finally figured out that my life was written long ago...and all I need to do is go with the flow and not sweat the small stuff.

Life has something in store for me...and I am just going to ride the ride...and hopefully in the end...

I will be at peace.

Happiness I have

Love I have

Family I have

Friends I have

Joy I have

What more do I need?

If I wish for wealth than I am wishing for something I already have.

My Utopia is loving the world as it is given to me.

And I think I am finally getting that in baby steps!!

The Blonde is in no rush to discover the rest of life!!!


Kiss me Kiss ME Good

Kiss Me Good!!'

Forget the Money...I want the pretty candy face and body every time!!!

God I love you and Lord knows I can't quit you...

You have ruined me for everyone else!!!


Some Love Affairs

Just were never meant to be more than a discovery of one's self!


Holy Cowhide Y'all

Its was a duffel bag full of drama last week.

I had a jealous wife hunt me down on Facebook.

I had one of my best friends leave his husband.

My baby boy is going off to train in bullet wound trauma.

I think the jealous wife thing has been squashed..let's hope so!!

My friend is going back and reconciling with his partner.

And my baby boy has his new gaming computer to look forward to when he gets home.

And I...had no drama!!

I had a nice weekend in the country with someone.

I got an extra surprise in my bank account thanks to the refund department at school.

And I have just been inducted into Sigma Alpha Pi. The national leadership honor society.


What a whirl wind of activity surrounding me.

But I am kicking ass in the life department!!!

I love me job. More importantly I love how I get to bitch about my job when secretly..its pretty awesome!!

I love school and happy knowing I am one year closer to my law school degree!!

I love the fact that I have reconciled to the fact that I love being single.

I am not going to settle down.

I like weekend boyfriends to keep me company but my goal is to end up like Auntie Mame.

If you have not seen the movie...you should watch it!! I prefer the remake as opposed to the Lucille Ball version.

An older woman surrounded by drama from other people, meanwhile happy as a lark just being her fabulous self.

That is who I am...

A Blonde happy in her skin!!!


I Am Going Back to the Start

and so will you gaby boy..I love you and you will find your way!!

The Blonde promises!!

Where do I live?

Umm..a bit of sarcasm here...

Let me google map it for you!!

Honestly, its none of your business.

I was done with Kito awhile ago. You are just getting to me now?!

Let me tell you something..

When a man gets sloppy in his dating around his wife, he is ready to leave her.

If your trying to make me a pawn in the separation of a marriage, think again.

I am in a 'no fault state' and I am protected by the law.

My moral obligation is to no one since I am not married, nor would I ever cheat on anyone I marry...and if they cheat on me...

than I am not doing something right as a wife and I will fix it.

That is what communication and love is all about.

AshlyMadison.com promotes cheating and I for one think its horrible. I would never cheat but I am single and I am free to see whomever I choose.

Maybe women will stop thinking about the 'Gloria Steinem' effect and find out, they can't have it all.

Take care of your man and your man will be faithful.

As far as Kito, he was a friend...that is all.

I moved on long ago.

I do have to say, God has away of pushing me in one direction and keeping me adjusted to a true life.

I found a wonderful man and although he is a little to quick to love, he came out of no where as a great surprise.

I am staying true to my path. I really do believe our lives have been already written before we were born and the movie "Adjustment Bureau" kind of solidified that fact for me.

I keep getting harsh adjustments and now that I am following in the path I should have taken years ago...

Life is really falling into place for the Blonde!!!


Fall Out Boy

Damn right...good rock in my misery!!!

The Way You Hurt me

Feed my Fish!!!



Bring Back Collective Soul!!

Chet Baker

The Blonde is beyond stunned by his music!!


An Almost Ditch

I almost ditched a date tonight. I had it in my mind that blind dating is going to serve up nothing more than a dead end soup with annoyance for crackers.

But...I was wrong!!

Recently I have found it smart to expect the worst and never be disappointed. But I expect the worse so much that I almost ditched this date.

And to my surprise he was sweet, funny, cute in a Tom Arnold sort of way...and I actually had a great time.

And to think I almost missed out on this one because of all the ones before that turned out to be wet sprockets.

I think this might actually be fun for a change.

I think this is a positive step in walking away from the last of the unavailable men.



I can't kick the Augusto habit unless I have someone new to focus my attention on.

This one might just be the one to finally pull me toward a real relationship.

Its time.

I have been kicking it back with the wrong men for so long. I am tired, bored, and ready for something real..

Who knows?

Not me, but won't it be fun to see what unfolds?

For the first time, I am really excited about someone.

In the mean time, I will still expect the worst...

(he does have really small feet)

but from now on...

The Blonde will hold out for the best!!



...wakes up every morning to her geriatric cat and his crap on the outside of his litter box.

I clean and scrub the floor, brush the litter from his fur, and feed him knowing his time to lay down for good is less than a while away.

I then go outside and feed the ghetto cats that came from the street and a builder mart parking lot. They are much more hardier than the glamorous puss known as Goose and will last years longer.

I than make my coffee in the morning and get to the phone and begin work.

In between phone calls and emails I study philosophy, ethics, and literature.

Its a good semester. I like my classes.

I am in the midst of writing a new essay for UT Austin.

Although I got in to all the schools I applied to, I could not-in the end-afford any of them.

And they were a little farther away than I want to be from my son, who is being deployed to Afghanistan in November.

All the while, I was holding out hope of meeting someone to be a shoulder I could lean on but the bullshit has me so depressed, I am beyond tears.

Liars and cynics is all I seem to run into these days and with what is on my plate, I have little patience for any of them.

Its OK, I am stubborn and it will take some time for me to kill this hope of love and commitment. I can't turn it off in a day and I know that.

The hope of love is hard to kill and the fear of my son going off to war is beyond any sadness i could have imagined.

I beg and pray to God that he will come home. He has to come back home. There is no other option.

God has to bring him home safe to me.

I am no Cinderella story and I don't feel I am even a Paul Harvey story, waiting to happen, any more. But I don;t deserve this much heartache.

I never did anything to deserve this life.

This is called depression, and it hits me every once in awhile but it will go away and even when I am sad I know I need to take care of those less fortunate than me; so I take my Jimmy Choo shoe money and feed the Bambis, the possums, the raccoons, and the stray animals that do not need to suffer as long as I am around.

And I get the great pleasure of giving my son anything of the small things I can do for him. I just wish I could have done more and then he might not have had to go off to war.

Its all I have to hold on to...

That is enough to get the Blonde up every day!!

I Am Doomed

Baha Bahaaaa

The Lone Star Suck

Some things do not change...even if you are undead. It is true today as it was fucking in 2011 when I first wrote this.

And before I undied.

I am doomed to be alone unless I find another way to find a date.

Where am I supposed to drum up viable dating options?

The online dating site is nothing but a plethora of liars, losers, and deadbeats who have nothing better to do during their bored time at work.

I have no choice but to join gym.

I have to find the right gym.

Last one I joined was in Houston and it was in the gay zone of town.

Lesbians had some fun in the steam room while I got completely grossed out.

Texas men suck..no doubt about it...this southern girl can not do the south western bullshit.

I am going to die...

Please, please someone from a real world come save me.

The Blonde needs you!!

I love finding my diary from when I was alive. Makes me feel fucking awesome for being undead!

Men suck but now I can kill them.

The blonde chants Hoorah dead dicks!!!

F#^*&ing Blonde Moments

I totally missed my flight. I thought I was leaving Friday and the flight was Thursday. I did not find out until my friend called from the SLC airport to ask where the hell was I.

"I am packing my bags and getting ready." I replied

"Uh, Your flight was for today Blondie."

"Hole Shiat!! No way!!!"


Hold on,

Let me call you back

I will try and get another flight...

hang up

"hello Airline, what do I do to catch a later flight?"

"oh no problem, just pay $450 in difference charge."

"Uh yeah..not happening...what else can I do?"

Rebook for later flight times..

Way later...




Dude, I am trying to book cheap flights.

OK..hideously annoyed now.

Hang up

Go on Frontier to find cheap flights

Call back Expedia

Get english first language dude


RE-Book the flight for $50 extra



next week I am going to SLC..


As much as I hated Frontier for the Aspen trip...

I am actually grateful they made it up this time!!

Your alright, Frontier.

Just don't bump my ass for an over booked flight!!

The Blonde believes in second chances!!!


If I could Re-Spence

I would have gone home with you.

The Blonde has you as a regret!!


Credit Clean Up

So I found this killer site that helps you clean up credit faux pas on your own. Its free and fabulous.


This site makes me feel so much better about my life crisis. I am now in control of trying to repair credit from my divorce. I read important information about what to do and what not to do.

They even provide legal letters to send to collection agencies that bought old debt and inflated the debt or have no right to the debt since the government paid off the original debt to the original creditor.

Its scarey to think that you are helpless to do anything in regards to bad debt but I now know, thanks to this site, that I am not helpless and I can renew my life and my credit.

You have a right to get a credit report from any of the three major agencies for free.

You have a lot of rights the creditors don't want you to know about.

This site will help you with everything.

I really don't want a co-signor for my new flat. It is important I do this on my own, and now I know I can.

It may take a few months but while i wait to clean up credit I have the financial ability to pay for a new paint job for my car.

I will feel so much better about myself driving a jaguar that does not look like it went through a war zone. I do feel people look down on me because of my car and my live-in situation. I try not to car but i do get down a bit about it.

By fixing my car, cleaning my credit and eventually finding my own place will just be a bonus to my new start in life. I waited so long to get over the fear of trying again, that these are great little steps to build back my confidence.

I feel really great having a job and going to school. I don't need a man. i know this. I can do this on my own.

And that makes me feel super great about me.

The Blonde is almost like new!!



So my first attempt at renting an apartment ended up in a flat out rejection.

I have the income but my credit is still wiggy from medical bills and when I had that little trouble called divorce way back when.

I have two more years to wait out the bed credit left behind from divorce and the predatory lending practices when I desperately tried to refinance the house afterward.

I am not paying these fees especially when they should have been paid when the house rolled over to a new owner and the bank paid the old bank off.

If I paid these fees now, the bad credit remains for another 7 years. If I leave the charge offs alone, by federal law they have to be taken off after 7 years.

I have two years before the slate is wiped clean and until then, I will have to snuggy up with a co-signor if I want a flat.

This is just another small bump in the road, although with the accumulated bumps..its starting not to feel like a fun ride in life.

I will look for another place and in the meantime, I have another month of savings.

The Blonde is used to Nos!


To Lie or Not to Lie

That is the ethics question of the day!

I am on the cusp of my ethics class and I find the area is very grey. Not something I am used to or even like. I like a clear black and white color of vivid truths.

Today, I applied for an apartment and I am sure if I checked off all the little yes boxes, they would not question it and let me in.

But stupid me, questioned my ethics and I could not in good conscience lie about a little thing like credit.

I come out on the short end of the stick with credit. All my immediate bills are dead on but the lingering divorce credit is not something I can easily clean up.

I am running on fate these days and if its meant to be, than the apartment will be mine with a clear conscience or it wont be mine.

Its not like I found the holy grail of rent control flats in Austin. I just found a superb location and a workable flat; of course I will have to forfeit my deposit in favor of new lighting fixtures, new cabinetry, and definitely will have to upgrade the tile and sink in the luie...

I have a few that are willing to co-sign but I want this on my own terms.

If I don't get it,..my jag is getting a body resurrection.

Of course I went out with Augusto and he immediately told me I should have lied. The first application is a test and I should have just checked all the marks.

He is probably right. After all, he is a lot further along in life than I am and the sad truth is...honesty will kick you in the ass every time.

I am trying to be a better liar but its a little harder than I thought.

I really must learn that its the norm to throw morality out the window to get what you want.

If I keep that in mind...

The Blonde might end up as president!!


Ladies and Gents

Bonnie Tyler

Bow your heads...

Blonde Ex gen's have rockin DNA!!!


I Just Want To Do My Job

Why can't people be nice?

Why can't people, especially women, in lower positions just do their work without trying to build animosity toward others to hide their inferior work ethic?

Every where I work, there is always that one person that just has to make life miserable for everyone.

I became a supervisor which apparently means not supervising; it means taking on the responsibility for the shit that comes about when others do not play a fair game at work.

Its one thing if the job afforded me a new paint job on my car and nice digs in a nice area of town; but this job barely affords me a one bedroom flat in nowhere ville.

Its funny, i thought working from my house, alone, would afford me the ability to do my job and not have to deal with assholes but unfortunately...NO!

Somehow, someone I never met accept through emails has found a way to cost me a days commission because I have to deal with cut and pasting complaints from clients into a spreadsheet for the Director.

I changed my font to a pretty pink and use smiley emicons now when I ask my employees to do something, to make sure it comes across as sweet and not too directive.

I follow up my emails with positive affirmations to the employees which I do not mind doing for those that are worth the emicon.

I find it funny that adults respond to pink cursive and blushing emicons instead of professional directives in black straight fonts.

We have become such a ridiculous society in business, no wonder we are in a recession and our jobs are outsourced to other countries.

Americans are spoiled, lazy, and passive aggressive in their daily work life.

They pass the buck when they fail, they piss the day away on facebook, and when the shit hits the fan because someone didn't follow through, they spend a mountain of time finding a target to use as a smoke screen.

I actually had an employee spend 4 hours sending my emails to management in regards to hurting her feelings.

You know what those emails said?

"Please correct this situation immediately and send the shipment overnight if you have to. I want it done tonight."


What about my feelings when the client bit off part of my ass when the company failed to deliver 4 times in a row...way before I took the position?

Did I cry to the boss? NO!!

I tried to correct the situation and for that I was penalized.

Eventually, I will figure out how to slack off and not care about duties at work like the rest of the 'gang'...

And if someone wants an apology from me because I demanded they do their job properly...

They better get a coat cause it gets pretty darn cold when hell freezes over!!


Wave Run Fun

So after apartment hunting and getting a little down on the prospects that I may have to keep down grading my digs to afford the lease, I blew off steam playing on the wave runner with Augusto.

I know I said i would walk away from Augusto, the Captain, and Raine...and I did to all of them but Augusto has always been there when I really needed him and unfortunately I am a woman that will always need something from her man.

and he is totally OK with helping me and taking care of me, even when the chips are down.

He is a good friend not a fair weathered one and for that I will let him stick around. Any man that says he will help me secure an apartment if my credit fails me is someone who really cares about me. The fact that he trusts me enough to know I would never abuse his credit and pay my bills on time is something really special to me. Of course, he would be on the lease and that makes him privy to all my antiques if I ever crap on him, with the rent.

We totally laughed about that one.

I can't say that about any of these other guys that wish to be my friend. They are only my friend when they are bored and looking for some fun.

Where are they when I need some serious hugging?

I won't fully commit to Augusto since he is already spoken for and I am not stupid enough to piss my personal love away on a man I can't totally have but for now, I need his love and I need to love on someone.

And on the superficial level, Damn do we look good together in the jeep and on the wave runner?

We laugh and have so much fun...We check out guys and chicks and play jealous but we are super totally cool with each other looking at other prospects.

Its fun and keeps things real and alive.

Its going on 7 years now and one day I hope to have an unattached man for myself that feels like a new date every day...

I know Augusto has trouble at home and is unhappy and if it were not for me his life would be unbearable. I am not always happy with that scenario but he is my best friend and if I help him keep his family together...

than some good is coming from all of this.

Its not an optimal situation but I am slowly looking at reviewing how love is and its not black and white...commitment from the heart is better than out of duty.

Raine could have had the same thing from me but after 7 years and it never progressing past a few days, a couple of months of drunken fun in NY..

What the hell is the point?

Having to work out a deal to get a pair of boots as a gift-even though it was my deal-is not what I call love.

The Blonde makes her the rules!!

Apartment Hunting

Why in the world would rental prices change on a daily basis?

I went apartment hunting yesterday and found that it is worse than shopping for a car. Some of these leasing agents just wreak of sleeze. And they were at nice properties.

Its funny you are quoted the rent and when you agree with the price...then they start adding on the sur charges like valet garbage, upgrade for faux wood floors, upgrade rate for first or second floor rentals.

Its hot in Texas and renting a top floor means extra in air conditioning, not to mention I used to live in a 3 story townhouse and the 3 flight walk up and down never did much to keep me tone, so i do not see any benefit to renting high up.

There is an extra charge to have a view other than the parking lot. To look at trees out your bedroom window...you have to pay more.

If course none of these fees are listed, they just are quoted and those fees and rental rates keep flipping around like a ticker on the stock market floor.

Its enough to make my blonde hair grow tediously gray...

There are application fees, pet deposits, administration fees and an application that is only a few pages short of mortgage.

You need 3 times the income for rent and you have to be credit worthy or additional deposits are incurred.


The Blonde is not a fan of lease looks!



This song's meaning is not for the public!!!

Some songs don't get you through things..some songs just make great endings...

Some days, the Blonde wishes she never woke up!


Learning To Walk Again

A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

Do you remember the days
We built these paper mountains
And sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can't you feel it growing stronger
Little conqueror

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

For the very first time
Don't you pay no mind
Set me free again
You keep alive a moment at a time
But still inside a whisper to a liar
To sacrifice but knowing to survive
The first to find another state of mind
I'm on my knees, I'm waiting for a sign
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I'm on my knees
I never wanna die
I'm dancing on my grave
I'm Running through the fire
Forever, whatever
I Never wanna die
I Never wanna leave
I'll Never say goodbye
Forever, whatever
Forever, Whatever

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?

I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough

Baby steps for the Blonde!!

I Want More

Because the Blonde deserves more!!


Slacker Studies

Work was a bit of a disaster today. Since I work from a virtual office, I do not have the luxury of standing around the office cooler to bash my co-workers but even if I was using an office in the company...the notion of drumming up trumped up charges against someone to save my own inadequacies would never happen.

I don't have inadequacies!

I have only been with the company for a month and I understand there is a settling in time where things might go a bit hay wire.

I have learned that not to over achieve at my job.

I need to slack back and enjoy the paycheck without making too many ripples.

From now on, I am going to take that advice and chill.

As far as the rest of my life is going..its not going very far...just up the road

I fell short of funds for the unvisited I applied to and must wait for spring. Meanwhile though I am moving into a new place.

rent in Austin is super high compared to what I can get with a downtown Dallas view in D-town but at least I don;t have to move very far.

I didn't get the amount I was hoping in grants and scholarships..I was going to use the money for back up rent just in case something happens to the new job.

I was hoping to have my car painted...

I was hoping to do a lot of things but fate has something else in stored for me...

I really hope I can move further away from my fear of losing everything and reach my goal of finding the perfect home and finishing law school.

I am hoping, hoping, hoping....

Hope is all the Blonde has right now!


My Ex Un-Boyfriend

OK, listen up!!!

I supplied my blog's password to an ex lover..I never meant anything to him other than a good time to keep him in line with is proper rich girlfriend..

No, its not Augusto..who, BTW, I have done the same thing with him for 6+ years..

I think it would be great to understand their side..

My blog is one sided and I hate one sided bullshit...

Knock yourself out Raine...


No real names

No real dates

Only write what you feel, not wht you think is true!

and don't f#$@ with my music videos!!

other than that..

The Blonde welcomes Raine to the dance!!!


Baby Boo

All manned up now...How could I not be proud of you?

Hey, Burt-all-not-of you...Remember when you said you didn't think my son had the guts...well, obviously you were projecting!!

Boo Ya...douche!!!

My kid ROCKS!!!

Get home Baby Boy!!

I Want More

Give it Up for Young the Giant!!

The Blonde wants more too!!

Music is My Way, What is yours?

Let's let it go and get gone!!

Big Fat No On Baylor

Merit scholarships only go up to $5000 for transfer students, even with a 3.5 or higher. So that means I would have to pay easy installments of $1000 a month in order to make up the difference from my scholarship and loans.

That $1000 does not cover books or housing or food. If I am going to fork over an extra grand of bill a month, I rather not be in the middle of Waco, where the youth leave and the mentally ill go to die in the surrounding facilities.

Waco was a depressing thought of a town, I really thought they would want to entice me with a little extra just for living in the barrios of Texas.

So, its a waiting game with SMU and working on fall back plan which will probably incude another semester at community college while I wait to here from schools that are less expensive and offer Spring registration.

Little hitches in my education groove is fine...its not stopping me...I will get that law degree...

Someday soon

The Blonde is just lean on school funding!


I have A Screenplay

It starts with finding a non-descriptive watch..its digital with magnifying lens. Non-descriptive back suggesting a cheap watch but...

The weight...

the weight of time

on this piece is undeniable...

and if I were to put it on my wrist

and click the clasp...

tick, tock

My son is off to Afghanistan,,,

tick, tock....

I signed the back of my license to be a donor...

tick, tock...

tick, tock....

Why did this wrist watch end up in a place that no wrist watch should be...

and why do I feel comforted by the weight of its band?

tick, tock....

The Blonde used to find time obsolete!!!

Teet Tot, teet Tot

I am on a teeter totter with Baylor at one end and SMU at the other.

Baylor came in a little too low on their transfer scholarship and apparently, I am not eligible for the merit scholarships-not because of grades- but because I didn't just jet out of high school.

SMU, I had a little issue with my name not matching social security so i had to fix my driver's license to match my SSC...so i am back to my maiden name

Sort of...

My name was spelled wrong on the birth certificate and that is now what I am going by. Still doesn't match my social security name but its only off by one letter..

Its nice to have a new name, new hair do, and eventually a new flat.

Whether that is going to be in Dallas or Waco, its up in the air until I receive my award package from SMU.

I prefer Dallas, only because an all university town is not going to be able to offer much to me in the form of a life outside school and work.

Waco is charging premium prices for their living quarters because they can get away with screwing the students. The only nice places to live have such an exorbitant amount of rent, you could live in a high rise in downtown Dallas -with a view- for the same price..its super ridiculous.

The rest of the area around Waco is just a manifestation of hideousness...When Section 8 is OK on the rental menu..that is going a little too ghetto for me.

Pray with the Blonde and Rick Perry for a better future in Dallas!

New Do

The Blonde went pixie!!


Rob Thomas

He writes about me..even though he's never met me...which makes me know, I am ot the only one in the world.

You can't Count On me

But I could never count on you!!

The Blonde is Even Steven!

When the World is at Your Feet

but your standing on thin ice..always remember to dance..displace that weight and dance...idiot!

The Blonde can be an idiot but loveable all the same!!!

Furry Walls

the Blonde has had some Jeffrey Moments!!


Goldie Locks Chopped Off

I chopped my golden locks down to a pixie hair style and I thought I might cry afterward but really I did not shed one tear for my hair.

I am changing as a person on the inside and I am trying to be taken seriously as a woman. My long hair was more a fantasy for men and its getting in the way of me being taken seriously as someone that should be loved and cherished and committed to.

I do not want to be the fantasy girl any more.

Quite frankly, I don't want to be anyone's girl anymore.

My birthday is Sunday and I am moving on in a positive direction with my life.

I never really receive the respect I deserve from family, and that was reflected in the men I dated; because unless you have a husband and a house, there is something not worth respecting...I guess is there mentality.

Its not mine but I have learned it will not change and like friends who perceive me to be what I was a long time ago aren't worth keeping. I have to come to the same conclusion with family members who have not honored me as a Mother and grown woman.

While I have my one day a month where I can be a total biatch do to chemical imbalances from PMS and with a little wine I can be out of hand but that is only out of response to the frustrations I have with the actions of some of my family members.

I will be moving next month and I know I wont bee visited by my son and I realize he has a life and it makes me sad that I will be alone. Its a single Mother's sadness that no one in my family can or will try to understand.

When you have no one but your child and he is growing apart from you..its sad...and even more debilitating when my own parents have fostered alienation among family with gossip and talk behind my back.

I know one day, things will be different. When I have regained my position in society with a home, money and a career.

I should have never let him stay with my parents. I thought they loved me but their actions proved far from otherwise when it concerned me as a Mother.

After all, what kind of Father would threaten his daughter and say he will take me to court for being an unfit Mother if I tried to get my son back.

I can't change the past but I was never an unfit Mother, just a broke one. And I loved my son enough to give him what I thought would be a better home at my parents while I worked on finding my place in this world.

Biggest mistake of my life and I will have to forgive myself and move on but it would have been nice to have support from family instead of bashing me and talking behind my back.

One day...

I hope my son will get to see me for me and not what my family has made me out to be.

The Blonde is slowly letting go of the past!!


No Apology Needed

Some times right takes awhile to show up!!

I Am finding My Place

You can't see my bruises but they are below the skin, just behind the heart and I am trying really hard not to let the scars harden everything but I am afraid it may be lost...


Its A Long Road

Love requests Tonight

Who can;t realte to this song?

The Blonde knows all to well!!

I would do Anyhting For love

The Blonde wouldn't cross the street for it now but maybe one day!!


Got to keep the faith y'all!!

Or you die!

Pretty pretty Please

Fuck Everyone who needs perfection!!

We are fucking perfect, even with a shit mobile jag and storage full of past shit!!!

I am perfect!!

An fuck you big sis!!

I am going to curse, so get over it and your perfect fucked up self!!

The Blonde is over judgement!!

Nigerian Dumbass

...or maybe he was Jamaican, the accents are similar but the douche factor is the same and i could give a flying fecal part for these rampant little criminal master minds that have no hope of pulling anything off other than crank calls.

Apparently, their are enough idiots in the US that these scam scourge feel they can be profitable. I don;t know who is selling them the elderly contact information but I am going to put Wal-Mart behind this little disgusting act.

The idiot called from an unblocked number asking if my Mother shops at Wal-Mart and said she won a cash award.

She handed me the phone and I said ni my very nice 'hello kitty' voice, "What's the scam?"

The dude hung up.


Next, the call came from a blocked number and I kept answering and they kept hanging up.

So they called one last time and I did not hang up. I left the phone locked on there call placed the phone down on the counter so it would make that irritating piercing noise for some reason.

Its a fun glitch in the phone when you have a crank call from a crack head.


They went to chapter two fo the most idiot scam artists in the world and attempted the following little diddy for us:

"Hello, I am kar amba Abu and I am CEO of the Nigerian bank Company. We have $2.5 million of your funds locked in transit and we need blah, blah, blah....."

Turnip trucks a plenty but not in this neck off the hills.

My Mother turning this into a major drama, I had to deal with it.

Always a lady, I gave a polite...

"You Nigerian Fuck!!"

...of which he responded by redialing my parents number over and over. Always hanging up when I was trying to give him more of my pleasantries. ]

Quite rude if you ask me!!!

Anyhoo, nipped it in the butt quickly..I couldn't play anymore with the dead head, i had work to get to.

*77 took care of that little douche's temper tantrum.

Go rage on someone in the boondocks dickhead.

We have private call blocking!!

Warn your GP's and elderly neighbors to just hit *77 on their AT&T phone. Be sure what other phone companies offer, so check around.

and it will block all calls that withhold their phone number.

This is the Blonde's Service Announcement!!


take the Bad with the Good

I am checking out my birth chart and this is what is up this week:

Pretty acurate still....

You are more sensitive to, and frustrated by, anything that makes you feel stifled, restricted, oppressed, or restrained now. Your desire for independence or to feel unique and original is strongly stimulated, but you may not be going about it in the best manner. In fact, you might come across as rebellious, cantankerous, or hard to please. You may be especially impatient, impulsive, or prone to taking foolish risks. This stems from the desire to make changes in your life or to shake things up because you are sensitive to that which is boring, monotonous, or stale in your life.

I got a reminder of being careful to follow the right path.

The other night I watched Tatum O'Neil's reality show with Ryan on Oprah's network OWN. Its funny, I totally get where Tatum is coming form and that she is trying to work out things from her past.

I am in the same cycle of my life and trying to pull out successfully.

I have acknowledge the issues and now I am working on just letting them go and moving on. Sometimes the process is down right hard and sometimes certain things will catch the old wind of the past and stir up controversy with family.

You have to find closure on your own.

If you are looking for someone else to close the door to past regression or feelings...its always going to have a door stop in front of the door jam. Its going to stay cracked open with room for a slight breeze to set the door wide open and you back 10 feet from the finishing line of a happy life.

You have to pull that door shut on your own. Find closure from within...

I and Tatum must do that for ourselves...

But its nice to have a little virtual competition.

Mine won't be Hollywood style on a reality show which makes my odds a little more favorable.

You can live happily ever after with those who might have done you, a few things wrong.

The Blonde has a chart, not steps!!


Oh Beth

The very first rock band song I heard; it was the backside of my older sisters 45 and to this day...the best song ever!!

Too Much Love Will Kill You Everytime

goda dei miei amici!!

Its been a bad day, let music lift us up!!!

The Blonde's heart is in Norway!!!


The Breast Feeding Babydoll

Maybe I have a perverted mind but I can't help but think of other places someone might place the magnetic bra and have the baby doll sucking on some unsavory body parts...

If I can think this creatively, imagine little Johnny stealing the baby doll and bra
from baby sister and wanking his little tiddley tot with the sucking mechanical mouth.

but than again, I grew up with the baby doll with the magic disappearing milk bottle.

Think how many pedophiles logged on to youtube to watch an 8 year old put on a bra and play Mommie.

On another note, the chick who breast feeds 4 year old Ari in the park is not only gross its unnatural and someone needs to have a serious talk with reaching healthy boundaries in the maturing of their chi...hii..ii..ld..!!

When they have teeth and can walk, yu need to loose the tit Mother.

I thought my cat's crusty hairball was gross but this apparently beat it by 30% gross factor.

breast feeding is natural to the Mother and child but, even I, as a woman am not comfortable with a strange woman's tit dangling while calling for little Betty to come hither at my local Starbucks.

The Blonde is not into new age rugrat rearing!!

80% is What You Do

20% is what fate has in store for you.

I am suffering a few minor setbacks when it comes to playing catch up and saving for my university future.

80% is what I can handle, what happens or does not happen because of me.

Then there is the pesky 20% - no matter how hard I apply myself, no matter how hard I try to get where I am going - a mile long road block hits and I am stuck.

Faced with having to turn around and find another way.

I could be unconventional and go off the beaten path and work in camouflage hiding myself from that 20% fate but it will soon catch up with me.

So what is a Blonde to do?

Watch sappy John Hughes films today, wash the crusted hairball off my duvet, play virtual host to HCG protocol confused...

and keep on...

keeping on!!

Its too damn hot to push through that road blocks today, anyway.

The Blonde is 100% glad its Friday!!


Unattainable Dreams

How many times can I be lead up a mountain, to be shown everything I want and work so hard to get...

"Here, here is your dream, laid out for you. Try to reach out and grab it."

And just as a reach out to grab it with all my might,

A gust of my reality whips up under my feet and thrusts me back down the mountain.

How many times must i be told by the powers that be...

I can't have it, no matter how hard I try.

When do I break?

When do I say...

Enough is enough!

1 year?

5 years?

10 years?

Am I cursed?

If this life is only a lesson to learn from a past life than I am done.

I don't feel it really should continue.

There is karmic retribution for past sins and than there is just fucking abuse by the Gods.

I am going to keep beating down the doors until I have exhausted everything.

But I do feel its totally acceptable to cash in my lessons and move on to another life within 5 years of this one.

Its a date with destiny...

5 years from now on my birthday...if life keeps handing me raw deals...

I will know I tried my hardest and will have no regrets to carry with me in the next life.

Surviving a life is not a life worth living!!

The BLonde will set her own agenda!


Bumble the Blonde

I was going to write a little diddy on chemistry.com and eharmony.com but something caught my attention at the local HEB grocery store today.

Bumble and Bumble hair products run $45 a bottle on sale. The sales clerk said its flying off the shelves. I hardly believe that when there is a sale on the couture hair products. Things that command that price and fly off the shelf stay at the chosen rip-off price.

But I have to say "hail to Bumble and Bumble" and to those that can afford a shampoo for $50. It shows me that not everyone is effected by the recession or poor job market.

I wonder if I made boo-coo bucks, would I buy the Bumble schlep?

I buy Infusium for $5 and when i read the ingredients of both products- my brand had all the ingredients as the Bumble and Bumble minus a root extract.

Out of curiosity, I might by the Bumble brand but more for novelty and armed with a biased opinion, I probably would not find it so fabulous and continue with my Infusium products.

But God Bless those insecure folks that thrive on paying big dollar to feed their need to be better than everyone else.

The Blonde is more humble than bumble!


Getting around with Meetup.com

Internet dating has become a plethora of grossness.

Its really become the club that was hot at one time but the fugly crowd got a hold of it and the cool peeps stopped showing up.

That's internet dating.

So how does the good crowd find people to meet?

The cool new place is meetup.com

You join a club of interest and you show up to outings and hopefully, eventually there might be a mate for you.

Personally don;t use it as a hook-up site, you will just end up ruining its intent.

Have fun in the club without looking for someone and you will start enjoying being by yourself, having fun with men and women, and you will loose the desperate tag that's been dangling off your aura.

Finding someone has come full circle and its not the bars or the web. Days of posting your age and salary, sifting through lies and false advertisements are left for the seedy crowd.

I noticed match.com went back to letting you surf the profiles without adding yours. A sure sign that they are on the outskirts and headed the way of myspace--if their lucky.

At least myspace has cool independent bands to listen to.

I personally only sign up for the ones that are special invitation but I am very careful about who I surround myself with because I am not a great judge of character and I need a virtual bouncer protecting me.

The Blonde found a new route to take!


Housewives of New York

I know many people call the housewives show a waste of time but i think its an excellent source of information regarding what to look out for in women friends.

I could take years of psychology courses and still not have the insight like this show has provided. Granted the women stir up conflict to benefit their face time on the shows and you have to take most of it with a martini and swallow hard.

But some of it, if you pay attention may see some characteristics or behavior in your own friends and will think twice next time when trusting them carte blanche.

Women seem to gravitate to a certain person in the group based on their certain situations at the time.

I probably would hang out with Kelly and bag the other wenches. Yes Kelly is an odd bird but she is not spiteful. Her little weird tirades are more or less for the face time.

Sonya...not at all...you are who you hang with and that is not who I want to be.

Countless....I like her, she is having fun and she gives appropriate digs when warranted.

Jill would bully me on everything and I would end up going in her direction and not the direction I want for myself.

Ms Kansas and Simon just freak me out. They are super creepy.

And the new chick...she has young kids and I am way passed my 'Mommie and me" friends.

And last but not least, Ms. Pino Grigio..if she is pregnant..gross!! 54 is not only ridiculous age to have a child but she is clearly doing it out of fear of losing her husband and that is never a good thing.

Right Martha?

I have tried to get with the jersey chicks but they are so harsh in mannerism...ughh!! I rather watch Dog the Bounty Hunter.

If I were doing women studies, they Housewives would be my thesis.

The Blonde rather be a lover!