So after apartment hunting and getting a little down on the prospects that I may have to keep down grading my digs to afford the lease, I blew off steam playing on the wave runner with Augusto.
I know I said i would walk away from Augusto, the Captain, and Raine...and I did to all of them but Augusto has always been there when I really needed him and unfortunately I am a woman that will always need something from her man.
and he is totally OK with helping me and taking care of me, even when the chips are down.
He is a good friend not a fair weathered one and for that I will let him stick around. Any man that says he will help me secure an apartment if my credit fails me is someone who really cares about me. The fact that he trusts me enough to know I would never abuse his credit and pay my bills on time is something really special to me. Of course, he would be on the lease and that makes him privy to all my antiques if I ever crap on him, with the rent.
We totally laughed about that one.
I can't say that about any of these other guys that wish to be my friend. They are only my friend when they are bored and looking for some fun.
Where are they when I need some serious hugging?
I won't fully commit to Augusto since he is already spoken for and I am not stupid enough to piss my personal love away on a man I can't totally have but for now, I need his love and I need to love on someone.
And on the superficial level, Damn do we look good together in the jeep and on the wave runner?
We laugh and have so much fun...We check out guys and chicks and play jealous but we are super totally cool with each other looking at other prospects.
Its fun and keeps things real and alive.
Its going on 7 years now and one day I hope to have an unattached man for myself that feels like a new date every day...
I know Augusto has trouble at home and is unhappy and if it were not for me his life would be unbearable. I am not always happy with that scenario but he is my best friend and if I help him keep his family together...
than some good is coming from all of this.
Its not an optimal situation but I am slowly looking at reviewing how love is and its not black and white...commitment from the heart is better than out of duty.
Raine could have had the same thing from me but after 7 years and it never progressing past a few days, a couple of months of drunken fun in NY..
What the hell is the point?
Having to work out a deal to get a pair of boots as a gift-even though it was my deal-is not what I call love.
The Blonde makes her the rules!!