Busy Bee

I feel great knowing some income is coming in and once my financial packets come from SMU and know I can afford to go to school, I will look for work in Dallas.

I am still on my kick to work at a Sunflower market; especially the diet and supplement area. I really have found my nitch.

I am thinking I might try some bioscience classes but realize my ADD can cause me to drail from prelaw and thus my major will be in something analytical and maybe squeeze in the bioscience as a minor.

All in all, the world is not a fabulous place totally for me.

I still have a lot of catching up to do as far as finances and getting my car road ready but its slowly getting better.
I am going to have to raise my debt ceiling when school starts but until then I am trying to rake in some dough for the famine that will be coming ahead.

I will need to stack up on raman noodles.

It would be great if I could win the lottery to cover school expenses but somehow I don't think that is going to happen.

I did refer to my natal chart and there might be a money windfall in the form of a marriage.

I definitely will not hold my breath for that one.

Recovery in a recession is slow, for me and the country. I am just glad I am not alone.

It makes me feel like less of a loser.

The Blonde is rising up!!

My Rock-a-Billy Died Tonight

One of my and Austin's favorite musicians was murdered last night.

Its weird because I had a dream of a dead man with slicked back hair lying like he was asleep underneath clear water behind my old pink house.

And in my dream, I told people he was there and all they did was murk up the water over him until you could not see him any more.

I kept telling them he is there, you have to wait for the water to clear.

Wait, wait...he is there...

and then a break in the cloudy water showed his face.

And there was my friend laying with his body straight, his hair slicked back , and a perfect Elvis like black suit...untouched.

I got the news today, he was murdered. Blunt force trauma in front of an Autozone.

I am very certain who and what he was waiting for and I hate that he was still involved in something that made me quit being his friend.

Its been awhile since I have spoken to him but I found the uncut samples that he asked me to produce and promote.

I played it tonight.

I never did think he could kill his fondness for the snow.

So I tucked the songs away and moved on.

I hate that I was right.

I hate even more that his 8 year old daughter that he loved more than life but less than coke is going to be without her Daddy.

Damn you, damn you!!

A steel guitar wont have my freind's fingers strumming on it ever again.

And my heart breaks tonight!

The Blonde lost her tune tonight!

Go Mustangs

I just received my acceptance letter for SMU in Dallas. This is my first choice school, one because of its locale and two becuz of its so much more awsome than living in Waco.

OK so my reason is location, location ,location.

But I am going to be somewhere for the next 3 years and I would like to find a personal life along with the studies.

Waco offers....nada to to me!


Am I going to get to go?

That is the Million dollar question only because it takes a small fortune to go to SMU and Baylor for that matter.

Hopefully, SMU will swing some grants my way and I will continue working through the summer to see if I can afford a studio in midtown.

Uptown is a definite no...the prices for a studio or 'G' plus.

I wonder if Dove or some anti-aging cream company will sponsor my way through school?

I figure the Larry Crowne film will shed a nice Hollywood light on the plight of the older student and push me toward my financial goal to cover coasts.



The Blonde is not quite of the gate!

Customer Support

but to keep them as a customer, let them be right.

I am customer support and that means taking the haters with the lovers. I am so uplifted when someone calls and brags about their success in losing weight.

GAH!

I had no idea how being overweight and wanting to lose it is such a huge battle for so many people. I did not realize what a prig I have been for berating them during cocktails with freinds.

I feel like a total douche.

I am 5'9" and never weighed more than 130 accept for when I was plumped up to 160 carrying Boo. he still owes me a tummy tuck. Of course Boo tells me if I didn't gorge on ice cream I wouldn't need anything.

Touche Boo Boo!!

Anyhoo,

I had wonderful customers today but for every fab contact there is always one to bring one down in this game.

I was called inept, uninformed, obviously stupid...duh..tah...duhhh

Did I hit my anger button and call on my condescending repetitoir to combat this hater femme.

NO! I did not!

If it wasd my company, I might be little less understanding but I am still the professional.

If she is frustrated, its not because of me or the product I support. She needed to vent and I am there to take her hot air and try to make it right.

You know the HCG is not a silly product and it can give people the boost they need to find a happier existence of life through healthier eating.

Sunscreen is still my major plug for people but modifying eating habits to feel better about yourself ranks second to the sunscreen.

So call me and beat me up. I am not giving up on you. I want you to feel beautiful even when its hard to look in a mirror and say it!!

I lost everything because of stupid mistakes I made along the way and I know how hard it is to face the mirror every morning and say, "Hey, today will be better."

And many today's passed by and nothing got better but I am not giving up and little by little my days are getting better.

I used to be so much more than this but I am only beginning to get back up.

So, go ahead and hit me with what you got, cause I got so much more!!

Bring it On!!

The Blonde can take some punch!

The HCG Guinea Pig

I need another subject in my HCG study and so who better than my Ma-Me 'dieter extraordinaire'. She has never been able to stick to a diet, is a complete wiz at coming up with ingenious substitutes to sabotage any successful diet plan.

She is perfect for my study!!

I am already down from 132 to 129 in 3 days but I am someone who can follow a diet. I am not nibbling like I usually do.

Yesterday, I deviated the diet protocol with a banana (not on the list) and 4 breaded shrimp ( breaded is a serious no-no for me in general)but I cut out a helping of vegetables to equal it out.

See, you can be a tiny bit bad but it did effect the 1 lbs a day loss. I only lost ounces yesterday.

Anyhoo,

Back to my Guinea pig. On her first day of dieting, low and behold...substitutions in the form of blueberries with cream. Cream is not on the list. I will excuse the blueberries because they actually have less sugar than an apple and its a great anti-oxidant fruit.

I am fairly certain my results will be successful. I am fairly confident ma-me will be a living testament to what not to do on a diet protocol...

If the drops only work to motivate someone and keep them conscious about turning to a healthier nutritional lifestyle...its worth it.

But seriously, I do not feel as hungry as before. And I am always hungry.

I am a perpetual fridge door opener every time I pass the kitchen.

If and when i build a home...the kitchen will be around thhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gife pool in the pool house and unattached to my living quarters.

I tried painting the walls baby blue which some book suggested help curb appetite. It did nothing but make the kitchen look like a baby boy's room.

So, Ma-Me's BMI is 127. I would put her weight down but she would probably try to kill me with her lavender floor cleaner.


The Blonde is making her own blind study!!

How Pretty Humans Are Underneath

at least, the physical aspect. I know a lot of butt ugly down under the epidermis but this blog is not about the haters.

This is a rotating picture (compliments of wikipedia) of a fingertip. The pretty little waves are the different layers of fat underneath the skin.

I discovered this photo when I began researching the HCG product I am trying and if you look to your left selling as well.

Its not enough to take someone's word that a product works. I have to try it for myself. And although I do not need to loose weight, I am a bit obsessed about the subject and like every other femme would like to be five pounds thinner than I am.

And of course, Like most femm-a-bods, when I loose the five pounds, I will want to loose five more.

I have taken HCG for about five days. The first 3 days I was hungry and cranky. I blame the colon cleanse on the cranky bit but oddly enough I am not so irritated (with exception of Augusto -- still wickedly chapped at him) and I...

and hold on to this shocker...

Have not been interested in wine lately.

I know...

Messing with my vino habit is a huge drawback as far as I am concerned but I am hoping that instinct will kick in and my happy vino time will come back so I can enjoy my American Spirit (no additives does not mean a safer cigarette--whatever, es it does) the porch when the moon hits again.


OK

so the HCG drops I take has curbed my appetite...not just for wine and puffery but for food, in general, as well...

I think I ate an egg and a plum today...still not hungry.


Its only been five days and so let's see if the noshing comes back with the vino.

If its a bogus product, I will let my readers know.

I wont stop working for the company because I like the fact they do use real product without fillers, it pays well, I work from home, and I make my own hours.

And if anyone has been paying attention to this blog..you know how desperately I need a job that can fit around school and afford me some stress free study time.

Half the battle is not having the urge to eat.

The Blonde is concentrating on her inside!

Infedelity Keeps Us Together

The recent New York Times magazine article about the praises of infidelity to keep a marriage alive leaves me out of the 'US' in the title.

I am not married. I am the single chick who men in relationships try to get with to keep their 'real' commitment to the other woman in tact.

Mother F$#@%!!!!!

I can't tell you how this article struck a debacle in my chord!

Not because I was reading it as a married person, of which I might be more sympathetic, and even more so, I would be all for pandering the help of some safe girl for my hubby if I was not in the mood for sex for half a century or so...
As long as he provdes for me a wonderful life...I would provde him with the same.

Just don't put it in my face and let me be the main love and...

But I am not the wife that is taken care of.

I am the girl that Augusto thinks should take care of him while he takes care of his wife.

Yes, Augusto is married and its not a problem as long as we stick to tennis and biking and our friday night happy hour.

Going to Miami was not a problem. I treated him like my gorgeous gay. I had my own room and I was with a gorgeous hunk to flutter around the beach with and still free to mingle with other men!!

BUT!

Augusto just moved back to Austin and wants to pick up at the beginning of the realtionship when he was seperated or divorced or whatever lie I was gullible enough to believe 6 years ago.

I started this blog because of this sucubine jerk and its taken me years to just be alright with him as a freind but now...

I have had all I can take from his whining to wheel be back into a relationship that is not a realtionship worth having.

I am single, going to law school, and still pretty fucking cute so why on earth would I consider going to a school, not based on its merit, but rather its vicinity to an easy love nest (which I am paying for) for this turd extrodinaire?!

Sorry Augsuto,

I am headed to where the single men roam free around the campus that is in the top 5 of law schools in Texas.

After chewing his ass out for even suggesting such bologne...


This Blonde is on a hunger strike!!

GED

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers!!


BUT WHAT IS MOST CONCERNING TO ME IS THE IDIOTS WHO CAME UP WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow


Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious (do dishes) can be soft as your face.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head


And why did the Blonde waste her time in school?

I am pre-Legally Blonde

Who is headed to law school?

The Blonde is!!

I am formally accepted to Baylor and still waiting to hear from SMU but Baylor is a litigation law school and who better to argue out her past aggressions on unsuspecting jurors?

I am!!

The whole world has shifted today. I no longer feel like I am in limbo and its not because the Catholic church decided to do away with it.

Its because my life is moving in a forward motion. Yes, I still have trouble with finances this summer but if I can hold out just two more months...I am still not going to be golden but I will have a bit of worth with grants and scholarships and with a little bit a faith...a part time job in a law firm in Waco.

Waco...I know its bubbaville but my car will blend much better in Waco than Dallas.

I don;t want to live in a rich person's world being poor. I feel more comfortable playing an average Jess in a rural town where I can rent a small farm shack and have room for art, sewing, studying, and yes...even maybe a mini dairy cow to babysit my obnoxious cats.

Fate brought me this opportunity just as much as I have worked for it. I am going where the Gods lead me and if its in the middle of bum fucked Egypt...

I will take it.

I will gladly go where I was never willing to go before and its exciting and its scarey and I am finally brave enough to meet the challenge.

The excitement will soon wear off like the Miami fun did but at least now, I know I am headed somewhere.

I have a road map.

Its been carved out before I was born, I just never followed it. I made the mistake of trying to change things but I really do believe that my life was cast and my only failure was refusing to see it.



This time, the Blonde is following her map!!

Blonde Moment #...

I lost count!


So I had a blonde moment yesterday. Boo and I were coming home from the store and he left the wiondow down in my car. I went to get in and turn the key to put the window up.

"What are you doing?"

"I am putting the window up."

"Why don't you just put the key in the door and turn it until the window goes up?"

"My car doesn't do that."

"Oh my Gah, Mother how long have you been driving the car?"

"A long freakin time."

"Turn the key until it locks and hold it. Seriously?!" As he continues to shake his head and rub his eyes in dismay.


So I took the key out of the ingnition without rolling up the window. I got out of the car, shut the door, placed the key in the lock, twisted the key, and held it for a few seconds.

Low and behold...the angels appeared and rolled up my window from the outside of the door.

I wonder what else my car can do?


Uhh, big duh for the blonde!!

My Therapy

This blog is my therapy. I am pretty sure not many people read it. If I got a high view rate, I assume its the videos from youtube that account for the numbers.

And its alright. If no one read this blog, I would still be fine. To me, this blog is just a way to air my thoughts and feelings since I have no one to vent to.

Today, Babs called to wish Big D a Happy F day and I could feel the coldness seeping through the phone. I should not have answered since its the family phone.

I assume she heard earfuls from others in the family and she was guarding herself from another earful attack.

What bothers me most, is that in all the years we have been so distant, we have shared maybe only 3 to 6 phone call conversations a year and not one of them was ever about others in the family.

Am I crazy?

Does my family really see me as something horrible?

Am I so horrible?

I know I am in an unhappy place but I don't spread my heartache around.

I sit in my room alone.

I don't date, I don't see freinds, and I mind my own business.

I don't backstab, gossip, or try to pretend to be the better person by manipulation of facts, events, and telling the story first.

I think the most devastating thing to me is that I see a better person in me than my family ever did...and fighting my way out of that scape has been a long, hard, and tragic road for me.

Letting go of them is the first step in realizing that I am a good person and deserve good things.

I am better than the sum of what they think I am.



The Blonde sees herself with better highlights.

Raising My Glass to Done

I need to change the headliner of my tags for blinded by blonde since I no longer date online, although I do have stories I can continue to tell but why?

The stories after awhile become stale and unfunny. The sad state of online dating is not funny..its simply sad. I think its especially sad for the lonely people who get caught up in looking for someone so desperately that they will let people that do not deserve them, come in and piece by piece destroy a little bit of their faith in finding someone all too perfect for them.

They will settle for anything rather than nothing.

Look at Raine and Augusto...trying to sell me on less than a life because they want more of one. They sit their and down on me about relationships and wanting freedom to play the field while being in relationships.

Really what they are saying is; they have settled for someone that looks perfect on the outside but on the passion side they need extra women on the side to fulfill what the settlement didn't.

I adore these guys but I do think their justification is a little screwey and I am not the extra rose frosting that will help them complete their cake.

I would rather be alone than settle for someone I do not find perfect for me. I do not mean perfect in the sense of perfection but simply someone that fits perfectly with me. Someone who isn't so perfect that I won't feel less perfect.

When I wrote about the love of men that did not love me back..its more complex than that. The natal chart explains why I can't attain the men I want but also the complexity of this love I have is really manifested from an idea of what I think my life should be and who should fit in it.

I am no longer looking for it but forever will I hold out for it. And if I end up alone...so be it.



Let's face it, its been 6 years...which if you count...I join for one month a year, find a man, see how it works for a year and than when it did not work out the way I had hoped, I go online for a month and bingo starts all over again...so technically its only been 6 months of dating in real time but still...

I am tired of looking...done...finito...ova!!!!

So say hello to the new official cat lady...

the spinster sister...

the Lonely Hearts Club newest band member...


The Blonde won't raise the date ceiling!