I don’t know how Crack Cat does it but he pushes me to the side of the bed whenever he sleeps in my room. I wake up in the morning sleeping on 6” of edge while he is sprawled out in the middle with covers twisted around him. I am lucky just to get a corner of the duvet to huddle under. Lately, I have just succumbed to wearing my fluffy robe to stay warm while I maintain a fetal position because the furry slumber natzi won’t let me move.
I could sleep in a king sized and it would make no difference to Crack Cat. Even though there is an entirely other side to the bed not being utilized, he finds it more comfortable to nestle in between my legs and systematically move my body to less than a square foot of space against the headboard.
I think he has been reading Tsun Su’s ‘Art of Bed Warfare’. Every move he makes comes directly from a zen masters teachings. But what he has not learned is the fact that I possess powers far beyond that of those teaching.
AH-Ha...I have opposable thumbs that can open and close doors locking sleep snatching kitties out of my room.
Scratch, scratch, scratch
Scratch, scratch, scratch
Damn, student has surpassed Master.
Blondes don't need bed bugs!!
I spent last night with my Mother making cookies. I got to roll out the dough with the wooden roller thing and place them on the cookie sheet.
After staying up till 3 in the morning helping her, what is my thanks?
Another murder attempt on my life perhaps?
Of course, its right before Christmas. She needs to start eliminating family members off her Christmas shopping list so she can keep the money for herself.
"Try my cookie"
"I am not hungry"
"No, go ahead try the cookie, just a little bite."
" I will try it later."
"I just want to know how it tastes. Try just a bite"
"Fine, which one?"
"Try the square ones I baked this morning."
I take a bite of a cookie. My Mom stands uncomfortably close to me and she is looking at me intently.
"How is it?"
"Does it taste strange?"
"No. Why? What did you put in it?"
She starts laughing hysterically.
"Mother what did you put in the cookie?!"
She doesn't stop laughing.
"What is in the cookie, woman?!"
"Dad, your wife is trying to kill me, again!"
"Did she try to give you her special tea?"
"No, a cookie."
"She tried to give me one. I am on the Christmas list too."
After laughing for five minutes straight she finally answered.
"Well, you know how I have that big bottle of vanilla extract. Well, it looks just like that new organic kitchen cleaner bottle."
"You fed me household cleaner?"
"Yes, but its organic. It shouldn't hurt you"
"Are you planning on serving the cookies?"
"Well if they taste alright and you’re not dead in the morning, I don’t see why I can’t serve them."
She must have a long shopping list. She is killing in bulk this year.
Blondes should know better than eat sweets!
...to the dark side of life. Welcome to the Trail of Lights, Austin, TX.
I would call CQ to complain but since I am too ill to eat, drink, or ever think of smoking again, I realize I have nothing to voice concern about. It seems the patches did work, after all, in a weird masochistic kind of way.
Sadly I had to leave my pilot and come home. My only regret is not having used the fireplace for a romantic ending. I was not sad to leave Santa Fe, but I could feel my throat choke up at the thought of saying goodbye to my wing man.
I left just as the snow began to blanket the desert ground. I thought to myself that without a private hot tub, balcony with a view, and my fly guy, I wouldn't have seen the the full beauty of the snow as I had it painted it in my head, anyway.
I reached Dallas just before traffic was to hit so I waited it out in a lovely story book diner before attempting my ride back to Austin. As I headed out to my auto, the cold front whipped at my hair like only the breath of Jack Frost can blow. I got into my mechanically plagued jag and headed south only to find Jack's fury escalated and he began spitting sleet. I had to pull over because when attempting to turn on my wiper, the thing flew off quicker than Donner and Blitzen and jetted 30 feet over the guard rail. I was not about to get out of the vehicle and scamper on the side of the highway for my blade so I engine crawled the car along the shoulder until the nearest hotel approached...well, the nearest nicest hotel approached. The hotel was very zen and after losing my heart and my wiper blade...I was only too happy to settle into sanctuary for one evening.
In the morning I took off for Austin only to have my steering lock up and I had to veer off the road to safety. Once again, I crawled my antiquity to the nearest station and recapped my steering and headed home. In Austin less than 10 miles from my house, a driver in a beat up-pick up side-swiped my old darling. As I pulled over onto the shoulder, the other driver hit the gas and took off. My jag, the poor girl began to cry and cry like only a British car can. I let her vent for a minute before pulling back into traffic, rolling along the last stretch of tar until we found rest at mi Casa de familia.
My British beauty needs a little more attention than most but I adore her and though we had a few troubles along our way, I just can't imagine giving her up for something new.
Blondes will always love the older models!!
Indian style art, jewelry, and clothing are really not my style so it was difficult to find a store that had something I liked, although I did manage to pull one rabbit out of the hat; Dry Goods Import had at least an armful of beautiful things that I really, really wanted. Alas, I had to leave the store empty handed since each piece of clothing cost a small fortune. If I had bought exactly what I wanted, it would have been the equivalent to a down payment on a recently repossessed house.
The evening proved to be a little livelier and a little more fun than I anticipated. I was treated to dinner with a small showcase of Broadway songs sung by the wait staff accompanied by the tapping of the ivory keys on a baby grand just a few feet from my table. Afterward, my Pilot and I traveled across town on foot in the crisp western winter air to a piano bar, which on this particular evening was featuring the local talent in a sort of karaoke style piano play. And while the local crooners were all very talented in their own right it was the piano player that took center stage. He had such an amazing talent that he could make Quasimoto sound like an angel.
Due to uncooperative weather, I am in Santa Fe for another day and so since I have yet to traverse Canyon Road; I will do that today and I am sure I will have fun sticking my nose up to the paintings all day. I would prefer the company of someone to enjoy the romance of this particular road but my pilot has other duties these days.
A Blondes natural habitat has more to offer!!
I decided I didn't want bangs anymore. I wanted all long hair. To remedy the situation I took a pair of scissors and chopped my bangs down to my scalp.
Being blonde I did not foresee any problem. After cutting, however, I did see a slight error in my judgment. Not only did I have a row of stubble framing out my forehead but when it began to grow back it looked like an albino caterpillar had latched onto my head ready to build its cocoon.
I have many blonde beauty moments in my time but I still feel that this one took the frosting off the cake in one tongue lick. Right under that would be the time I decided to bleach my eyebrows to match the color of my hair!
Blondes should come with warning labels!!
I haven't been stopped by a police since last week. I haven't had dog dung on my clothes since the week before. My cars are getting repaired. I paid the Shylock off.
I even had an enjoyable dinner date last night!!
What the heck?!
Is it the season to be jolly already?
The only thing I have to complain about is my cellular stalker. I don't know how many weeks of him calling a trio of times per day and evening, only to receive no return call from me, it will take for my subtle hint that I am not interested to sink into his thick head, but I am hopeful.
After all, tis the season of giving and I am hoping he will GIVE up for both our sakes.
The Blonde finds more joy in receiving peace!
Trust me!!! By the time he is finished with you, you wish he had just broken your knee caps.
"Can I cash your check?"
"Can I cash your check?"
"Can I cash your check?"
No matter the time of day or the place, if he sees you, he will ask...You feel like you have been stuck in the back of a station wagon with a kindergarten loan shark and no one will stop the car so you can kick the little tot to the curb.
"Do you have my money?"
"Did you make the deposit?"
"Can I cash the check?"
He systematically wears your mental psyche down until you can no longer take it and you begin teetering on the brink of insanity. He stops right at the point of you twiddling your fingers on your dangling bottom lip because he knows if the men in little white coats lock you up in a mental institution he won't get his money.
He backs down only to bring in the hired guns.
Yes, My Mom is on his payroll.
"Hi darling, how is Dallas. I am so happy for you. By the way..."
"Do you have your Father's money?"
"He is driving me crazy."
"Do you have the money to give him?"
"Call when you have the money."
The little gypsy is getting a percentage of the take.
Its been twelve hours since I borrowed the cashola and I am already thinking about knocking over a convenient store.
Blondes hate bad loans!!
My color turned orange!! I looked like a clown gone rogue!
So...to kill two birds with one stone, I decided to pay my traffic fines and head straight to the salon, for an emergency correction, since it was on the way.
I paid my tickets, fixed my hair and got my nails done.
Its a gorgeous day, I am looking fine, I turn up the tunes and cruise back home.
I was pulled over for cruising by the speed trap at a minimal 13 miles per hour.
It's the beginning of the December month and the road traps are everywhere.
I talked my way out of a second warning for inspection, registration, address change.
I would have been able to talk my way out of the speeding ticket but its understandably bonus time for the men in blue and they have Xmas shopping to do.
Normally I would be totally peeved about this second invasion of my driving time but my local peace officers but looking fab and on my way to Dallas tomorrow, I really have no care in the world.
I just look at it as supporting my community. With all the extra money the police have made from me this week, someone is getting a new bullet proof vest for the holidays.
Blondes aren't the only ones with their time of the month!!