Where is my Spirit?

You wake up and today is like any other day. It would never occur to you that a few blocks away from you someone has lost their spirit. Not their heart, not their soul but their spirit.

And you being 4 blocks away would never think that this would have anything to do with you but what if you caught it in a drift of wind?

OK, that would be crazy. A spirit does not float off into the wind. As a matter of fact a spirit is grounded inside each and every one of us and the only way to get it out is to beat it out of us

And a beaten and broken spirit has no chance of flying anywhere.

But where does it go?

Its beat, broken but not lost…not gone…
Beat and broken
The first place it will not want to be is where it was beat and broken

So not me
But my spirit belongs to no other so it is not hiding in anyone else
so my spirit is not in me and not in another
it does not float or fly
for a broken spirit has no wings nor desire to be free
does it drag behind me?
In my shadow?
In my memory?
In the old me?
Does my cat hold it for me?
Can a cat hold a spirit?
Maybe that is why she is so fat.
A spirit like mine is a heavy one to hold.

When was the last time I used it?
When was the last time I believed in me?

It was the day I found the pink house.
The day I signed the papers.
It was mine.
I did it all on my own.

And then the sharks came one by one until it was gone.

In the end it was me….I could not defend myself against the sharks and I lost everything.

I was weak

I did not defend myself

I still have no idea how to defend myself but I know how to guard myself

I have a wall

that has kept me a prisoner.

There is no gate holding me other than my own head

SO let's chop it off!!!

The Blonde has nothing to loose!!

Broken Spirit

I hate when they say they broke a horse, as if it is something to brag about.

Breaking anything is nothing to be proud of.

I have had my share of broken hearts and I have worked out all of them.

I got over them and laugh at it.


I have just realized that I have been hiding from life...

I thought my spirit was wounded but could ride it out.

Turns out..my spirit is broken.

I have not been healing or mending.

I have been hiding and dying.

I have been broken for a long time and hiding it very well from myself.


Now I know...

I see me and my brokenness


what do I do

to fix me?

Can the Blonde be fixed?

Love Should Be Guided by Fate

I have learned my lesson.

Love is nothing you can create out of thin air. You can not meet someone and pick and choose what works for you and decide this is enough to love them.

Family love is easy. It comes with birth. It comes without strings.

Finding love outside that is...

a gift.

Passion comes quick and fades just as fast.

The gift of love in equal parts between two people is a natural occurrence and yet to be replicated or cloned.

Love comes with a spark and grows without any work.

It is what it is.

Let fate decide for me.

I will not be roped into empty promises and painted pictures of what might be.

Pictures are not backed by substance.

Promises are made but hardly ever kept.

Men are strangers and until they build a three dimensional world for me...

I am not falling for their card tricks.

The Blonde is on cruise control!


You Are Not Free

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame,
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

by Emma Lazarus, New York City, 1883

Where is her lamp?

Where is the light?

Where and when do we begin to shake our foolish pride and say...

Enough is enough?

More importantly, when do we say,

"Its not my car or house that makes me a better person. Its my generosity and my kindness that I hope to reflect upon the world before I leave."

How can you have a billion dollars and not think twice about wanting to give half away to help the poor?

Can you not be happy with $500 million?

What the fuck is wrong with the 1%?!!!!

There is over 200 billionaires in the US alone but they would rather fuck their sister or brother than see their money leave the family.

And they will fight the brother and sister they just screwed to fuck them out of the money too!!

The Blonde rather have government cheese!


Just Cuz!

Where Are You

Waiting until your home!!!

Another Troop...

leaves for Afghanistan on Monday.

Only this troop includes my son.

Religious wars are ugly business and I just assume we let them implode on their own.

When I hear a man killed his wife for bearing a daughter instead of a son when he has the x and y chromos that decide the fate of the child's sex...

I want to smush his pea brained stupid religious right ass under the tires of a hummer.

Its a good thing my son is going...he has a much more level head than I do. I would kill an Afghan man just for being ugly and looking at me.

GOD BLESS the children who fight this battle.

Let us not forget that every soldier is someone's









May the American flag fly high and never drape another coffin.

And if one does, may God please...please...do not let it be my sons


Harvard Bound

and family bond.

Am I using my parents as a crutch?

Or do they hold me back and I am their crutch?

Who could figure this one out?

Perhaps we are both.

How many crutches does it take to help a broken spirit walk?

The Indians would say a spirit has wings.

Well to a whitey like me...

Broken wings means broken arms

and having crutches to deal with

leaves me...



The blonde is flat bread and broken!!!

Admit to Being a Surf

Our society has become a King and surf world. The problem is surfs refuse to let go of pride and admit that they are the low income people repubicans are hating.

If we admit we are broke and that the 1% holds all the money and refuses to share or be privy to a socialist society...the surf will loose and soom become a slave.

When we admit to being surfs

When we admit to being oppressed

whgen we let go of our pride

and realize the 1% has no intention of ever helping us

than we will rise

and we will fight

and we will no longer

be the slave

Eutopia is not achievable but its at least worth trying to fight for it

and we may never achieve it

but we will be closer to happiness

Money needs to stop winning over humanity

The Blonde will not stand for it!!!



I am without team. I broke up with the Redskins and now I am looking for a team.

I might end up with the Houston Texans because I think I have decided to move back to the 4th largest city ion the U.S.

Austin is fun but I need the big city...and Austin is a Big Town...

Besides...the men I like seem to pool in the general direction of Houston.

More later....right now...I am hoping Eli Manning kicks the Packers...

and I have a new beau I am playing with later...

Stay tuned!

The Blonde is keeping her record going!!!


A fucking Gahn istan

My son leaves next month. And he better come home just as I made him.

If anything happens to my child; I will not cry in a corner.

I will stand, I will train, I will fight, and I will bring down everyone responsible.

Do not fuck with the Blonde's kid!!!!



Men miss my hair. I should have bundled up the chopped locks and made a Blondie pocket buddy with it.

I was on eharmony for all of 2 months and I must say... answering the same five questions over and over again can crawl up a Buddha statues ass and bug the jolly stone icon into a frown.

I have already plucked the man of the year so the rest is just fun and folly for boredom. Don't hate me...most of the men on this site do the same thing. Its adult dominoes for the relationship impaired.

Eharmony peeps are like cats pawing at something for fun until its dead and no longer fun to play with.

The Blonde is not in tune with the harmony.