To Love SOmeone Woman style

Janis Joplin...style

Women love with more soul!! Just is!!

Une Derniere Fois

One more Time...

To live you need to love...something or someone!!


I Must Rebel

or digress..there is no way in hell I am not buying something designer this year and so what is my favorite fashion...


I bought another pair of over the top, over the knew Rebel Luma boots.

I would not call these super designer like Laboutin or Jimmy Choo...but for me they are perfect for school and my trip to New York.

For the holidays, I am treating myself to a trip to New York. I found a fab little boutique hotel called the Library Hotel..Its concept is based on the dewey decimal system. I thought it would be fun to cram the end of semester studying in at the New York Public Library and do some walking, walking, walking...

The only excercise I have gotten is sitting at my desk, bouncing on an excercise ball.

I need to get away from my desk!

The Blonde is going vogue!!


Taking Risks

I am taking baby steps to create a little risk in my life.

I started depositing money back into my miniscule Ameritrade account. I am building my money market account and eventually will get back to trading futures and options.

Believe it or not, I was actually pretty good at it.

I had a major loss when I let my X participate in my account and I lost my shirt on coffee.

I also made the mistake of trusting a trader in California to handle my corn trades back before ethanol was involved and he did not place my order and I again lost my shirt.

Something about men and my money end up with me in the red.

I am finding life much easier to handle and much more proseprous without a man around.

I think I like this new life style.

Its me again, on my own and not caring about having a man in my life.

I like this.

No to say, I am not lonely at times but I am not going to let that deter me and look for something that I really don;t want or need to fulifll an emptiness.

Money can fill that void for me.

I could take my money and grab a flat, buy a new car, or fill my closet again with designer goods but you know what?

Those things don't make me feel better about me...

Those things make other people feel better about me...

and I don't need anyone to feel better about me.

I feel pretty great on my own.

I rather sink my money back into the markets and take a little financial risk again.

Its always panned out so much better than a man.

Life is coming back full circle.

Baby steps to get there but I will.

I will get back everything I lost and more.

All I can say is...

Who the hell needs a man around?

The Blonde found a new market!!


The Dingy Blonde

I am the dingy blonde.

My whole life I have been waiting for someone to help pull me in from the ocean.

It gets tiring swimming against the tide.

The waves grow larger.

The water grows deeper.

And after treading and swimming on my own, I reach for someone, anyone...to pull me in.

And they do...

I can always find someone to pull me in...

but only to the dingy...

never to the boat.

I drift behind the boat in a dingy...

and I am so grateful just for not having to tread, all alone, anyomore, that I take that dingy as if it were the boat.

But as I float in that dingy...I begin to see the boat in front of me.

And I wonder, why can;t I come on the boat?

What is it about me, that no one ever pulls me in all the way?

I have been floating on the back end of someone's boat for so long being grateful for so little.

And now, I don;t ask anymore...I just never reach out anymore.

I don't need a dingy.

I have been treading this long.

I have built strength and endurance.

I will keep swimming.

What choice do I have.


Not a chance.

The Blonde is too stubborn to get in anyone's dingy again!!!


Cheap Flights

Who the fuck do you think I am?

I had a credit that I was willing to use to meet up with you in NOLA..
but you chose to pay for my flight..

I gave you the dates I was willing to fly and you ignored them...

You are trying to find the cheapest flight and the longest stay to accomadate your sexual needs at a T.J. Maxx discount.

Are you fucking kidding me?!!

Where did desperate fornication show up on profile?!

I will ditch you plane ticket in a blink of an eye.

Your ticket is non-refundable...

And you don't get a refund as far as I am concerned!!!

The Blonde will never be discounted!!!


Don't Care Any More

The Blonde really does not care anymore!!!

I Wish It Would Rain

Yes..that is Eric Clapton and Phil Collins...

If I were blessed, I would have been married to Phil Collins forever....

And before I loved Phil...I loved Jack Lemmon...

Silly for a 15 year old to love Jack Lemmon; he was so old; but it was something on the inside, behind those eyes...

Phil has that...that something behind those eyes

Something that makes me want to cry and hold them until they stop hurting...

but now...my eyes are not the same....

I don't see anyone's hurt but my own...

The Blonde is still well aware of her fucked up ness!!


Old School

What happened to it?

And where can I go to get it back?

While I may not get back to the days of youth, I can smirk in the satisfaction looking up old boyfriends on facebook and finding them still 'fine' looking.

I picked right back then. I picked for looks only and it served me well, and every time I travel back in time and sneak a peak at my old boyfriends...I smile..

I do more than smile...

I grin from ear to ear thinking that could have been mine right now.

But memories and realities co-mingle into a fuzzy warm memory less than the reality of it..but isn't that the way we remember?

Isn't that the way we see things?

In a soft glow and pink light when we recall our past...

Our life, now in full fluorescent light, just waiting to catch us under the wrong shadow and reveal every horrible wrinkle we have accumulated on our face.

How cruel time can be when its spent as a single woman?

Single men do not have that queer misfortune...the wish of a soft pink glow of light is a women's fate..

Men are too busy thinking their money carries their looks; they hardly bother to look in the mirror and look for any inclination as to question the color of their bathroom bulb?

The Audacity!!

As charming as it is...LOL

But men are not my concern tonight...

Tonight, I am concerned about me, and the reality of Whittier's words...

"What if?"

Women, even the wealthiest ones, never look to their money for affirmation...

They foolishly look for love and create a false sense of love in the men they find to have...

and unlike men, the mirror is much more harsh in the eyes of a female beholder...

much, much more beholding...

A woman can't only be wealthy-she needs to be young and pretty and charming and daring and worthy...

of what?

No!! seriously!! I am asking...

I am still asking...

and sooooooo.....

and so she places pretty soft pink illuminating bulbs in all her powder rooms ...giving her the false sense of a youth and softness that has long since vanished.

Pink lighting for the lady and blue steel for the gentleman's vault...




We are old school!!

We are the dusty old yearbook that no one will sign any more.

When they say all the good ones are taken...its true..they are...

I am not a good one

and now I do not aspire to be that one for someone

because they are no better than me

If I were normal...I would have been able to hold onto one of those lovely picture perfect men that I see clinging to their wives on facebook.

but I am not and neither are any of the idiots I have dated!

We are of the same feather and we will always flock together...

My Ex's think they are so much better than me and in the end; they are too much like me

Damaged goods!!

Brilliantly damaged and bruised to such imperfection that neither of us dare look at oursleves in the mirror as we truely are!!!

and now...

I grin and smirk and smile at the thought of that!!

Its OK, the Blonde knows she will never graduate!!!


Ah Quiet

It is super quiet today, the television that usually blasts 24 hours of opinionated news is off and I was befreinded by the liberal on my facebook this weekend after I suggested he do more activism or do more shutting the hell up.

I am tired of the complaining and the bitching from all fronts regarding politics. Obviously nothing is going to be done to correct the situation from the status quo.

And the poepl in power do not care about the status quo. They care about their pockets, their freind's pockets, and what they can do to keep full pockets and power.

The little blonde like me has to put up with it and just find a way to live happy while under the direction of these dip heads.

And nothing will be fixed since everyone has a special interest in themselves.

Let's stop the bitching.

Geez..I feel like I am married to a bitchy wife having to hear her complain all day about something she is not happy with.

And if I wanted to divorce, I wouldn't be able to because I can't afford to move away.

That is where the American people are.

Stuck with a bitch that we can't afford to seperate from.

The Blonde is tuning out!!


Bring It On Crooners

Some music dedications to all those lonely hearts out there...Music is the one and only thing you can count!!

Just Because

this song f---ing rocks!!!

I am Still Waiting

Did I wait too long?!!

When Your The One

your this song....


The Common Denominator

I can't have the ones I want and I don't want the ones I can have...

The Blonde is pretty sure that = single!!

Feelin Good

The Blonde bows to the great Nina Simone!


Rural And Urban

do not mesh...

There are great looking Texas men but they live in Austin and Dallas. Houston not so much...they have the pudgy fingers and they are a little too rugged for my taste.

When i talk Texan..I mean people that live way out in Dirtsville around the edges of no city. Their manners are brash and they are cocky without having anything to be arrogant about.

I thought it would be nice if I give Mr. Barnyard one more chance to redeem himself but he proved to have manners of a horsefly.

Thrice did he interrupt me in mid statement on the phone to take another call. He is not a surgeon nor running a covert operation...he has email and the calls best waited.

He might want to reconsider going to charm school and try picking up manners by mistake.

I doubt he could learn them...you can't teach old dogs...

He is definitely not worth the mileage on my car.

Personally I don't think he had phone calls at all. I think he had a temper tantrum and just hung up because I told him again I was not riding out to the country to spend the weekend with him.

What ever happened to dating and getting to know someone?

These guys know that if you keep getting to know them...they will never get laid!!

The Blonde is sticking to southern mannered city dwellers only.



I try not to use ADD medicine and work on my own but with work, school ,ad Boo going off to Afghan..something had to give...

And it was my focus!!

I can't get through Aristotle and Plato and deal with the down trodden dieter without some of my sanity breaking.

So I took the plunge and went to the Doctor..it had been so long since I have seen my MD that I forgot his name and where the office was.

It took some serious recall!!

I got the prescription and went to my neighborhood pharmacy.

What is funny? The woman in front of me was having a conniption fit because her medicine was out of stock.

Guess what?!

Her meds were the same one I was trying to get.

Apparently, the Westlakey Mothers used up all their kids Adderall for dieting purposes and now they are all in a refill frenzy mode to replace the meds for their kid's mid-terms.

The woman in front of me looked like she was dealing with her Drug Daddy than she did a pharmacist. When he told her that they were out, you could see her begin to twitch like a zebra with horse flies.

She serously needs to step away from the counter. But she did not. her little head swirled like Linda Blair in that devil movie and I might have exaggerated this..but she seemed to spew venom from her eyes at me when she thought I was going to push her aside from the 'drop-off' counter at the local Heebee Jeebees.

I think the junior pharmacist saw I was about to be eaten by the adderall-a-medusa and she quickly saved me by pulling me to another 'drop-off' window.

While out of harms way the junior pharmacist explained to me that the entire lot of adderall had been carnaged in the entire Westlakey and Bee Keys area.

I looked at the bug-eyed speed Mom next to me and simply said..."No Problem"

And then I calmly left the building like anyone who was not hooked on prescription speed would.

Ahh Haaa!!!!!

I didn't go so ballistic..I merely went up the street 10 miles and found Target outside the Westlakey zone and they filled me up.

let this be a warning to you...Woman that you marry because you think they are perfect are hardly that and you deserve what you wish for!!!

You wonder why women are bitches and their kids bullies?!!

Think Stepford!

Think Adderall!

If you do not have A.D.D. and take adderall than you are just a speed freak in a fancy zip code kidding yourself!!


Meanwhile, I will be thinking Plato, Aristotle, and the ethics that govern our lives!

And still struggling with A.D.D.

The Blonde wont abuse a good thing!!

Oh Lord, Texans!!

what the hell do you do with them?

As a woman, I say throw them back in the Brazos River and let them float away.

I just don't understand Texas men who think they are God's gift to women when clearly--they are not!!

They have mirrors but they don't see anything but what they make and not who they are.

They think flashing their things around is going to make a girl want to play their house buddy when they are bored yet they never plan on taking care of them.

Its all about the Texan being taken care of and the woman is just the 'little lady' in the house who needs to be seen with big tits and not heard--especially if she has a political opinion.

They want the woman to be super attractive when they look like an obese midget with giantism...

Seriously they all have stubby fingers..its very odd!!

What the baffook (new word)?!!

I have to fish outside the Texas pond for my men because clearly this East coast girl can not deal!!

The Blonde likes out of state!!!

Gone, Gone, And Gone

I finally cleared out my guy friend pantry.

Its funny, I hate telling men i don;t love them when I actually still do but it seems the only way to get them to go away.

Its harsh but I have to do what is best for me and having lingering 'friends' around that I am secretly hoping a commitment from is just stupid-in my opinion.

Plus, we all know how I feel about past sexual relationships turning into friendship that really is just a front for playing safe and still keeping the girl.

If a man can't commit to me, than he does not get to keep me as a comfort blanket.

End of story.

The new story is a whole new genre of men. I have a NOLA visit coming up with a hottie from Facebook that I have been putting off.

I am not really looking for much these days. I need to finish school and see where that road leads me.

I am hoping it leads me down a silk road where money will be no object and i can travel and find men in unusually fabulous places up and down Italian Riviera.

Why settle for Americans; when their is a world of men to meet!!

The Blonde just needs to finish her law degree!!!