8.07.2012

Ladies And Gentlemen

I regret to inform you that Veronica Bell kicked the stand right out of the cycle of life and fell into a new abyss
at


August 7



8:47 AM 




Bye, Bye
Blondie







8.04.2012

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again


I sit not funny that I think of myself as the egg...and that I think of Augusto as Puss in Boots...

I am watching the children's movie and its ridiculous how comical the level of reality it portrays of me and my Augusto!

I am almost ready to tattoo Humpty Dumpty on my neck and Puss and Boots on my tail bone.

Life mimics art.
Art mimics life.

Who knows any more?



I only ever truly loved a few men....

and if I had to choose among them....I could not....

The Blonde has only memories now!

She will not waste them on the bad ones!
 

7.11.2012

Selfish People



Selfish people will not help anyone that might be a blip in their harmonious lives.

They buy new cars, add a pool to their backyard and call their family only when they are bored and need to kill time while they drive to their destinations.

And they consider this being attentive to their family. And at the end, they will hold out their hand and expect their part of the pie in the will.

And not once do they acknowledge the depth of commitment and care that another family member provides.

Why would they?


They have never stuck around long enough to witness what extent that person goes through to care for family.

They are happily oblivious to the nature of care that is needed until the very end. They will come rushing up against the side of the death bed and  boo hoo...

And that will satisfy their guilt when the will is read.





Selfish greedy people make the Blonde deathly ill.


7.09.2012

Our Oceans Are Full of Buried Treasure

Apparently I do not have to go off to international waters. I just need to be 3 miles off shore and weighted properly to sink in 600 ft of water. And no funeral director is required. No casket is required. Just a dead body with a toe tag and some decent cement shoes.

Bonus for me on the charter boat and and dingy mark. I can just wait to die on the boat and be dropped mafia style 600 ft below.

Please God let it not be off the shores of the ugliest beach in the world known as the Gulf Coast.

YeeHaa!!

The Blonde is resting at peace right now because she saved a bundle on burial costs!

A Big Year




It can all be yours one day but you have to fight for it.


The Blonde hopes you get it all!!!

New Found Respect For Dreads

I do not have the dedication nor patience to deal with dreadlocks. After spending hours waxing and teasing spirals in my hair, I have determined its a look best served surf side.

If I was at the beach with my puka shell choker, bikini, and surfboard...it would look hot.

But in the real world....dreads need to be nurtured and maintained beyond anything my blonde hair has ever known.

Who can sleep with waxed, teased hair under pantyhose at night until its sets. It takes 6 months to set.

I have yet to get all the tangle out and I have washed my hair several times.

Its not a big deal since I am not on a regiment of outings other than to the local grocery to buy canned cat food for my cats. You can be sick and the cats have no sympathy for you if their food bowl is not filled with scrumptious canned delicacy of mystery meat early in the morning and dinner time.

While my hair de-tangles I have been looking at burial options.

If you thought dying was expensive, death is even more so.

I have found Cosco supplies an assortment of coffins in the $300 range. But family will still have to pay for the morgue, mortuary, embalming, grave site...etc....


Its a business you might want to consider because its truly a money maker.

I say coffin but the politer term is casket.

Either semantic still does not help the residual cost of burial.
I could cremate but it is as expensive as embalming. But Cosco does offer a discount ash jar too.

For half the price, I can charter a boat with a dingy into international waters. The boat will leave me floating in a dingy and I will margaritaville it until death kicks in and I can give myself a Vikings Funeral without any cost of body claim.

Either way, I want to thank the Republicans for stopping Obamacare before I finish law school. They will save me the student loan repay they hiked the interest rate up on.

The Blonde is locking in her early demise as cheaply as she can!









7.06.2012

Dreadlocks

I am having a good day today.

I can;t do much but I can sit and watch old movies and twist my hair with wax and make dreadlocks.

I always wanted dreadlocks but I was so busy being what everyone wnated me to be or what I needed to be to get someone to like me that I never really got to do the things that made me....


ME...


I have been at it for 5 hours now.

Its tiring to hold up your arms and twist and tease and wax an inch of your hair at a time.

And its a shame I won't see the locks as they should be since it takes 6 months to a year to truly tighten but I like it.

I wish I did it when I had the chance to show them off.


When my friend and I get busy on my obit, it will not be a glowing review of a fearless life.

The worst thing about my life is knowing I was not brave.

I must have held a great act for many years because if you ask people who knew me...they would say I was 'intimidating'.

I must have been a great actor. Too bad I could not win an Oscar for my performance.


I do not believe n heaven and hell.

I believe in reincarnation.

I know I am headed to a new life and I only hope that in my next life...glimpses of this one will show up in my dreams.

I want a window to see my family.

I want a worm hole to come back if my son needs me.

I will not be buried.

I will not be cremated.

I am leaving soon on my own and will just fabulously disappear.

And if you ever wonder where I went...just look in the direction of the ocean when its a full moon.


The Blonde will be headed to Jamaica in her dreams!






7.05.2012

After Midnight

And the 4th of July is over.

I did not want to take away the celebration with my silly thoughts.

But, my blog is my savior because I have no one I trust to talk to.

My blog and animals are the only things I believe in these days; exception being my son but I would never burden him with more than he needs to know.

He has his own life to live and I will never make him my crutch.

I really hate parents that lean on children. We should be their rock; not the other way around.


Anyhoo,

I am leaving soon.

And I want to get as much random shit in as I can.



I will have to leave behind my cats, my son, my things, my life.

I am going somewhere new and I am going alone.

And I am angry that everyone else gets to stay here.

I want to stay here but I know I have to go.


Its fate.

And its time.


My path is paved and I was silly to think I could change it.

I am going where I am supposed to go.

I was hoping to stay but no matter what I tried...

it was never going to be.

Life is 80% your deal

and fate owning the other 20% of what yu wish you could deal with better.

But alas..

NO

FATE has no math skills and its a stubborn bitch who wins just because...


AND...

Understanding fate owns you ass even if you busted it to get away causes some ripple that will cause you to be mean to everyone.

And everyone your mean..totally deserves it!



On the fuller side of the empty glass....




Its funny who I think about these days.

I think about all the famous guys I never went to bed with but had the opportunity to.

I think about all the guys I did go to bed with but had the opportunity to say no.



I never slept with anyone I truly was in love with.



I never had that courage.


I know why the men I dated treated me the way that they did.

I would have done the same.

That is why I push them to find real love and know they never will.

We are drawn to the same species.


The Blonde is specie catagoria...Damagia Brokentalia














6.27.2012

A Man Like Me




A Blonde has connections!

6.21.2012

Reversing Aged Skin

I can't help you with reversing age...

No one can.

They can botox, tuck, laser and do whatever to make you look better but they can't turn back the clock.

And my secret won't either.

But

I can promise you my secret ( not really a secret if your super smart in common sense area) can almost stop the clock on your epidermis and preserve what you have for a very long time.

I will give you two more clues and then I am done helping you.

1. Pompeii

2. Tar Pits


If you can't figure it out from these clues...


The Blonde won't help you!



I Have the Secret to Youth

Its a simple and silly remedy.

It is not hocus pocus and not something I can get rich off of because it is readily available.

It is so stupid silly...it reminds me of the story about a truck caught under a bridge.

All the experts thought the issue over and none of them could solve it.

It took a young boy with no expertise to ask why they just didn't let the air out of the tires.

Slowing down the aging process is as easy as letting the air out of that truck's tires.

I will give you a few hints.

Imagine yourself as a tree.

Trees are the oldest living being...

Being as in entity not as in human being...

Think of a tree...

What makes a tree sick?

What makes a tree weak?

What makes a tree die?


What makes everything weak?

What makes everything die?



Answer:

A host that consumes more from its life source than the life source can provide.


You and I are a tree.

We are an organism that millions and millions of tiny hosts feed off of everyday.

If you put your skin under a microscope with a thousand times the power to see the milliscopic bugs that feed off of us...

You will see why you age from the outside in.

All you need is the secret to killing the host that feeds on you.

And I have that secret.

I found it on a sebatical dealing with my own mortality.


I am sure you think a sales pitch is coming, but its not.

I can make you stay the way you look now until you die.

And I can tell you, its not more than $7 for a month's supply.


What I can't tell you, is if I am going to share this info.

I am in hate mode.

Isolation mode.

While I can cure aging on the outside.

I can't cure dying on the inside.

And...

I might just want to bury myself with this stupid, silly, easy, make me laugh how stupid the science community is; or how devious they are to keep it from you just to rake in the mega billions on an anti aging cosmetic farce campaign; simply because I am angry at my demise.

I will be kind enough to give you

A

Giant freaking hint:

Your the host!!

Billions of microscopic organisms are depleting your system...

What do you need to stop them?



Oh my GOD..its so easy..




The Blonde wants to scream!!

















Dead Blonde Walking


I am not sure if I want to burn out or fade away...

I am still working that one out.



Should I crash some hotel room with a psuedo rock star?

I could stage a mock scene from Sid Vicious' days and than silently go about my end.


Or

I could hide out behind the gates like Bridgette Bardot and no one would be the wiser unless a fancy news show picked it up from Reuters.


One thing is for sure.

Fantasy death is far more fun than the reality of one.


Well, hell...

The Blonde gets tired quickly...















6.19.2012

Being the Better Person

is so over rated...

I have been the better person for so long that I forgot I deserve better.

Raine in New York...

Augusto in Texas...

Mr Michigan....

The Captain...

Dallas...

and Houston geriatrics...

Are you kidding me?


I could pick you apart one by one and mutilate you by word on my blog but I don;t need do that.

I just need to acknowledge that I am dying.

I am dying!!


44 years on this earth and not one man ever gave me an ounce of love or trust.

And if you think I am carrying forth any unfinished business in the next life?

You do not know me.


I am settling the score this year.

Each and every one of you sad suckers are going to be held accountable.


I am going into the next life on a clean slate.


I would like to give out a special shout to a man that is dead but his children still profit from him.

A mobster!!

A low level, money laundering, under age video taping profiteer who liked to fondle his daughter's friends while he was drunk.

I hope hell has a particularly hot spot for you.

A second shout out to Raine... you shaky handed alcoholic who is way out of his competition's league...Johnny Boy from Georgia will always be better than you!


And a third special hallelujah to Augusto...6 years of loyalty and trust on my end...and nothing but lies and broken promises on your end...

May the chips fall hard on you...

and everyone who took without giving back!


Micky, Freddy, Reny, Herb... you are all Humpty Dumpty and about to fall!!




The Blonde lost her mercy!









6.18.2012

Cat Got MY Tongue

When do I get to scream what really happened and started it all?

Not tonight...

My cat Sophie jumped up on the desk and laid on my keyboard.

After 20 years of loving her, she never made this kind of move.


I will hold my screams.

I will hold my anger.


I will hold my vocals on the hurt and why I hate this fucking world.


For you Sophie.....

The Blonde will hold her tongue!!

6.16.2012

War On Women

The GOP does not have it out for women; they have it out for everyone.

But to lower yourself to the level of ridiculousness of the GOP and try to cover it by saying its a 'War on Women', is horse manure.

I am not levying the idiots name on this blog but the femme fatale lawmaker from Michigan should be tarred and feathered for taking the podium in the name of women.

How dare she say the stupid rant she did and try to cover it up with her assinine excuse by saying the word 'vagina' is anatomically correct. Sure it is and if your a biology professor teaching anatomy, I say go for it.

But to use it for shock value in a statement that makes absolutely no sense to the issue at hand; I say you might as well used a more flavorful word!

To make an outrageous statement that you are flattered by the attention your vagina is getting to float your rhetoric on abortion rights just took away the attention from the rights of women and placed 3 days of media hype on your usage of vagina.


And to say "No means No" .....UGHHH!!


Maybe you were not privy to the orginial content of that slogan but its meant for date rape victims and to try and recycle it in your sad attempt to speak about abortion rights makes me want to trade in my VAGINA for a baseball bat and knock some sense into you.

No means NO to what?

Aborton or your attention grabbing vagina?!



Its not just the GOP who have gone off their rocker; its the whole establishment.

They are spoiled rotten children playing on our tax dollars.


The Blonde will vote when we clean out the trash!

5.23.2012

Some Things Look Better with Age




You are not alone Tom.


With grace and humility we grow to be beautiful beyond our youth!

The Blonde is on your side!!

We Are On A Slippery Slope

Companies are demanding you sign a release form for your medical records, credit report, and Facebook account before they even hire you.

They want to invade your personal private liberties before offering you a job, salary, or health care.

They are the private gestapo getting around the rights afforded to us by our democracy.

And we take it sitting down watching 24 hour around the clock news that feeds us propaganda.

When are we going to wake up?!

When are we going to see that our democracy is border lining on the books by George Orwell?

When are we going to stand up and fight like 'Animal Farm'?

Read his work people!!


The Facebook IPO debacle is a sham and the fact that 73 million people bought into it hurts my head.

We protect people from burning their hips with coffee.

We demand the carb content be placed on a menu at McDonalds


We try to protect our sanctity of heterosexual marriages by banning gays from ruining it.

How?

I have no idea.


Its how stupid we have become!!

If you want to save the sanctity of marriage...ban the internet dating sites where married people troll for a casual sex encounter!

If you don't want to get fat, don't eat fried fast food!

If you want free health care than take personal responsibility and don't be a dumb ass and eat your way through a smorgasbord of corn syrup laden
prepackaged junk food at the grocery store!


If you want your private life to remain private and not the property of a corporation that you work for, than get off your office chair and rally a group to stop the invasive practices. And take personal responsibility and do your work instead of cruising online dating sites and Facebook when you should be working!!

And if you want to stop being a slave to the 1% than take your money out of all stocks and 401ks and demand your money free and clear to invest in land and your future.

Tech companies offering IPOs do it because they can't make it without you. You are paying off the original investors who have already capped their profit and find no benefit in the company and they want you to pay them out.

The only thing I am happy to report about Facebook Inc is that 482 million people invested their time in watching Eminem and Rhianna on Youtube instead of the 73 million who sunk their hard earned cash into a losing ship!!!

Wake Up America...You have no net to break your fall!
















5.14.2012

When It Rains Down Here




The Blonde hopes it washes away our pain, our fear, our greed, our anger, our hate, our abuse, our insensitivity, our bigotry, our ignorance, our selfishness, our arrogance, our religions, our worship to the God our fore fathers placed on the almighty dollar bill!!!







Dear Congress



The Blonde needs the government to see how much we are hurting!!!

A Billion Dollars

Ladies and Gents,
I am on one pissy roll this week. And its not just my PMS kicking in.

Facebook just made a blatant, in your face to the status quo, move. Zuckerberg bought his buds Instagram company for a billion dollars. Have you seen Instagram. Its twitter but with pics instead of pithy comments. 30 million folks signed up but I can tell you, most have them dumped it already. Its stupid.

What is even more stupid is the sucker who buys stock from Facebook at an over-inflated price with an illusion of making money. The only real money is in harvesting private information but they can't announce the selling of our private information to all the dirt bags in the world ready to eat it up and keep us under a spam spell!!!

I see ponzie, I see funneling, I see a major bubble repeat itself. It is about to burst and hurt the Americans peeps.

Greed is not good, Gordon!!!

This kind of greed will lead to a revolt.

How much abuse can we take?


We need this to happen. We need another meltdown and catastrophe in the financial world.

We need that Mayan end to hit Wall Street.

And Zuckerberg...

All the Kings horses and all the Kings men will not be able to put you back together again!!



At least the Blonde Hopes so, a trillion times over!!!


5.07.2012

CoWinkyDInk or New Age Inquistion

I tested the key words on alert by Homeland Security.

I am not sure if it was a coincidence or if Homeland keyed in on my IP address.

The minute I posted key words on Twitter, my home alarm started beeping. Not an alarm but an interruption to the signal causing the blip to my security system.


My web browser shut down for a few seconds as well.

I am not worried that they have honed in on my IP address.

Let them check out my history.

I defend our military.

I argue with leftist liberals who rather fight for the rights of a dead suicide bomber, who blew himself up accidentally before following through on killing innocent lives.

Soldiers should not pose with a leg or an arm of an accidental suicide bomber's bits. Its almost terrible if it weren't so funny.

Excuse me for giggling at a suicide bomber's bits and parts in a photo opportunity with our military and the Afghan Military.

It's like 'Jack Ass" but only better.

Its reality!!

Its something that Americans no nothing about.

War is not pretty.

War is not elegant.

An elegant war is what the Red Coats tried to do in the Civil War.

DO Americans forget how we won that war?

We played dirty according to British recounts.

We had democracy to defend.

Is that not our goal still?

Should we not do all we can to defend equality for everyone?



Do not forget!!


We play the British red coats in a war where the enemy is playing dirty.

We will loose if we try to play fair against a team that preys on our fairness.

As long as I am not put to 'the question', than Homeland is more than welcome to my files.


Just make sure the Secret Service doesn't download my private porn collection.

That would piss the Blonde off!!




















5.06.2012

Why Online Dating Sucks

This is the profile of the dude who I am stuck with for the Rebel Race.

He is a life coach!
What the hell people?

You pay this sad story to advise you on your life?!!


Dear Friend,

Please allow me to save you some time. Please forgive me in advance if you don't like my criteria for meeting a woman, but I have been going on too many first dates, and I really want a relationship, not a first date with someone that is not a fit for me. And, I want to make sure that I am a fit for you, so I don't waste your time. So here are some key things that we have to have in common before we meet.

1. We have shared enough pictures, especially of our waist lines, that we have certainty around the fact that we both have a flat tummy.
2. We are not on ANY kind of timeline of getting remarried. For me, it is not even conceivable for the next five years.
3. We have shared very recent, 2012 pictures with each other, and there is no doubt what each other looks like, and we want to meet.
4. You are OK with me not drinking. I love you to drink as much as you want, as often as you want, as long as you are responsible.
5. You are OK with me being a CEO, that has a big job, and stays very scheduled during the week, and travels a lot.
6. You live in one of the three cities that I work on a weekly basis: Austin, Dallas or Houston.
7. You are NOT married. Not even a little bit. Smile. And you are not over 47 years old. Sorry, but I am a very young, highly active 54.
8. You work out at least three times a week, and pride yourself on your physical condition
9. You don't have young children at home, and preferably they are gown and out of the home. I am a grandfather.
10. You have told the absolute truth about EVERYTHING on your profile, as have I, because we have INTEGRITY in this process.

I am a great guy who loves to laugh and cut up. I typically send out funny emails to break the ice, and make you laugh. I don't take this site all too seriously, because I think that there is a lot of folks trying to be someone that they are not. Like putting up pictures and representing that these are of you today. I think that we need to be honest. Like, I am not going to notice that you don't look like your picture when we meet. Also, I don't want us to 'sell' each other on who we are over email or text. It is nice to get the first contact or two via these, but it is good to get together and test the chemistry.

At the end of the day, that is what it comes down to. The 'click' factor.... do we click.... is it comfortable. Do we really enjoy being in each other's company. We can artificially make it happen over media, but it is much harder to make this happen in person. So, my predilection is to get together pretty quickly, if we like each others recent pictures. What do you think about all this? Would love to hear your opinions.

Thanks for very much for taking the time to read this.I truly hope I have not offended you.


Stupid, artificial, superficial, arrogant...blah, blah, blah...

He makes me laugh...

But...

The Blonde needs Voltare!

No-No Words


Twitter and Facebook are being monitored for specific words from Homeland Security.

Yellow, orange, blue, green, and purple are not on the list since Bush is not in office any more.

Homeland Security Key Words


Go to page 20...


If Lindsey Lohan can get in the same party as the president, than these words are about as solid as the secret service man who fucked America over a $30 dispute to a cheap Colombian hooker!!!

The Blonde needs to send a Dr Seuss book to Homeland Security for their ingenious 'eye spy word' technique!

5.05.2012

The State of Texas

The State of Texas Job Application

Has divided race into these categories.

I could add witty commentary but why?

Its hysterical all by its lone star self!

White (Not of Hispanic origin) – All persons having origins in any of the original peoples of Europe, North Africa, or the Middle East.

Black (Not of Hispanic origin) – All persons having origins in any of the Black racial groups of Africa.

Hispanic – All persons of Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Central or South American, or other Spanish culture or origin, regardless of race.

Asian or Pacific Islander – All persons having origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East, Southeast Asia, the Indian Subcontinent, or the Pacific Islands. This area includes, for example, China, India, Japan, Korea, the Philippine Islands, and Samoa.

American Indian or Alaskan Native – All persons having origins in any of the original peoples of North America, and who maintain cultural identification through tribal affiliation or community recognition.

AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER

For State Agency Use Only:


Hispanic can be white or black or Asian or Indian..its regardless of race

Black is a racial group but Hispanic is not

Black can be white if they are from North Africa

Canadians can only be Indian or Alaskan but only if they belong to a tribe

Arabs, Muslims, Egyptians, etc... are all white so we can stop profiling them as terrorists

Australia does not exist




And to be American Indian you have to belong to a tribe. What is your tribe Elizabeth Warren? You were a professor at University of Texas Austin. What box did you check while you were here?!!!

If most Americans would learn to use the loopholes, we could gain some momentum on those who exploit the system to get ahead!

The Blonde is in. But what category?

5.04.2012

Its Official

Online dating has become certifiably the worst place to meet a nice man.

I forgot I had a profile on Millionaire Match and I went out with someone..out of boredom really.

We hit it off. Of course. I am awesome on dates!!

I was not sexually attracted to him but I thought for fun activity partner..

What the hell!

Well, the second date made me think...

OH MY GOD!

I just signed us up for the Rebel Race and made reservations for two rooms at a quaint B&B.

I am still doing the race and my parents can have the second room. At least I will have someone cheering me on and taking photos of me knee deep in mud.



So the second time we went out, he informed me that he had been married 5 times.

Yes ladies and gentlemen five times. One or two less than Elizabeth Taylor.

And of course, don't you know the women were all 'bipolar'. The new catch phrase for 'beware of men' who use this terminology of their former ex's.

Anyhoo,

He is either a flake or very arrogant. I am thinking he is both wrapped up in one sad little package.

He is nice enough to look at and he races in triathlons, so he is built like a brick mud house..

but his brains are shy of knowing where Monte Carlo is. No really, he really has no idea of what or where Monte Carlo is.

We were supposed to hang out tonight and I am at that age where going out after 10pm downtown would tattoo 'pathetic' on my ass.

Even more so, I look the part to hit downtown and club but I don't because I would feel like I am robbing the cradle. Something Mr Elizabeth Taylor seems to pride himself on.

He needs a flat belly. He needs someone under 38. He is 54 and looks all of it.

Ick!!

Go get your girls but don't rope me into your 'candy and van' scheme.

Freak!!

The Blonde is not done...I have the dinner party where nubs came flying off the chef's hand while sipping down too many margaritas!!

Whoo Hoo!!

The Blonde is back in story land!




4.30.2012

A Real Emotional Girl



Sometimes a girl just has to cry out!

The Blonde hopes this helps!!

4.28.2012

Bringing up the Past

Have fun with Blondies past!! I am reposting some old blogs.....It will be fun to see how much of what I said back then holds up to what I think now!!!


The Internet has made it so easy for us, as a society to order almost anything we can imagine online; from guns to tampons to even a mate. It is the online looking for a mate that I wish to guide you through.

Like any goods you order online, you must understand Internet dating falls under the same caveat emptor rule; let the buyer beware. You may not be paying for a custom ordered man, but you do spend good money based on a promise that you will find someone using the online tools that will customize your search for the promise of finding him. Unlike ordering goods online, when you have a bad date or feel you have been used, you cannot get a credit for that mistake.

It’s my intent to spare you a little emotional recoil by limiting your chances of having a bad internet date blow up in your face with just a few simple lessons I learned along the way.

I use free sites. After using the major online dating services, and being a bargain shopper at heart, I find I have the inner circle knowledge of how to get the good stuff for free just by digging a little harder for it and knowing what to watch out for.

Warning: Don’t try this at home. I am a seasoned professional and know what I am doing to avoid being hurt. It is best for first time users to use one of the more legitimate dating sites keeping in mind that these sites are not immune to the contamination of all around scummies like married men, serial daters, and erotic email seekers.

First of all, you need to know that having a good sense of humor is certainly required for this sort of venture if you are to survive with minimal and mendable heart breakage. Make no mistake; one or two breaks will happen no matter how many precautions you take. Also, realize that surfing online dating sites for potential love interests is a lot like looking through an online catalog for clothes or shoes. You have to realize, you are probably going to skip over some good stuff because the photo or description didn’t feel like it quite fit you, and vice versa. Men are viewing you as a perfect fit, as well, and may pass you up for simply not feeling it online. Just like you passing them up, it’s OK they pass you up. If you think they are passing you up? For a Manola Blahnik type, just look up Manola Blanhik shoe images online and see if not one of them isn’t high maintenance and won’t hurt after wearing it for a very short engagement. Chuckle at their chagrin and then grin again, knowing that you are someone else’s perfect Gucci loafer and he is just waiting to settle in and love you, comfortably and for a long time.

When you first fill out a profile for whatever dating site you choose, the question of age becomes a bit of a quandary, at least for those who might have found and plucked an odd hair or two discovered growing out of one of their nipples. Never fear. Do not let this deter you; it’s only a myth that women have an expiration date. Just remember, if you are getting older, so are the men. There will always be an endless supply of them. So pluck away the nipple hair with all the vigor of a twenty year old picking a zit at the mirror. Just for the record, older men are picking nose and ear hairs with the same vigilance, or at least I hope so.

There is a smudge on the progression of Internet dating sites that gives a viable reason to lie about your age. You see, Internet dating has been up long enough for everyone, who utilizes this form of meet ups, knows that false advertising works in some degree and is prevalent among profiles. So many profiles play on false numbers, almost like a car dealer. Most profiles lie and so everyone suspects your profile of lying as well, even if you don’t. If you plug in your real age, most will assume you are two to four years older. I say take two years off your real age, if it’s after nipple hair growth. It’s just enough to be able to fess up without crumbling to an ageist who is super concerned about your tits falling to the floor when they unbutton your shirt and still keep you in the running for searches that take four years off to compensate for the false advertisers.

Next on the list of boxes that can create a dilemma for anyone, over a size 6, is the body type box. Your uploaded pictures will correlate to this box and honesty is the best policy for this one. This is like buying a size four dress that you convince yourself you will lose enough weight in time to squeeze into it for a reunion. Don’t even attempt this femme fatal rule. You are not going to drop that extra 10lbs in time for a date next Thursday. I found from listening to the plethora of men I meet, this is not something that can be overcome.


....and the rest.....

Whoopsie....

I would give you more but apparently I did not cut and paste the whole post before it was deleted...

Awkward...

Egg on my face...

I will have to get back to ya!



The Blonde is on a hiatus!

4.26.2012

I Do Not Bake Cookies!!

Donald Zlot (names have been changed to protect the innocent from suits brought on by dirty slandering liars) is in for a rude awakening.

I could have dismissed his many attempts to treat me like an inconsequential fleeb.


I sat there and took it for most of the comments on the US Army News website.


But he broke the camel's back when he suggested I stick to baking cookies for my son.


I do not BAKE Mr Zlot!!


What I do...do...Mr Zlot is fact check credentials so far back in time that I can pin point your first sneeze and where you did it!!

I could care less about your sneeze Zlot..what I care about is taking you off the comments of our US Army News Website.


And for those just tuning in...this is just a tip of the racist and chauvinistic iceberg that Mr Zlot is:

to help you grab a picture in your mind....


Mr Donald Zlot posted this on his Facebook page:

"Today we have a college president who remains in her job at Rhodes because she is black. Black Pastor Ron Fails has twice been arrested for soliciting prostitutes and is still the pastor of his congregation and we are supposed to respect black leaders? The first time he tried running down an undercover police officer with his red Mercedes. Another prominent black leader in town runs a bar where there is constant trouble. Public schools with large black populations are disaster areas in education and the citadels of “dumbing down” and now blacks claim they are being treated unfairly?"


The Blonde does not bake!!!

4.22.2012

Why Listen to Me

When you can listen to the music!!!





God is talking to you!!! Are you listening?!!!

I Tip

I am a tipper. And not only 20% tipping..I tip as I walk.

I read about the royalty of the Japanese binding their feet. Being ADD and all of 10, I did not quite get the whole jest of the concept.

What I did get out of it, was that small feet were attractive. Why I thought my feet needed to be beautiful and attractive at such a young age is a vague mystery to me.

But I wanted pretty, little feet.

So I began to curl my toes anytime my Mother tried to buy me new shoes. She, like most Mothers, do a silly thumb test to see if there is room in the shoe for growth.

I would curl my toes and get a pair that fit too tight. And then I would proceed to tie the laces even tighter to restrict the growth of my foot.

It worked.

I am 5'9", almost shy of 5'10" and I have a size 7 foot; but beauty comes with a price and my small feet are not dismissed from the penalty charge incurred by vanity.



I tip.



If I walk straight and look to the left, I tip to the left. If I walk straight and look to the right, I tip to the right.

I also trip just walking down the hall of my own home.

I should have had bigger feet and a bit more broader..but I don't.

I squeezed my feet into shoes two times too small for me for over 8 years of my youth.

And I have the prettiest little size 7 foot to show for it.



I have a little walking impediment to show for it.



I have pretty little feet, pretty little breasts, and pretty little thoughts of how all the things I have done will catch me a fine man...


And then age caught me...


I try to squish my age through out the years...

but as hard as I try, I can not curl my toes under the watchful eyes of Father Time.

So, I beg Mother Nature to help me proverbial curl myself into lasting a little longer.

I think Mother Nature is on my side.

She knows I am a late bloomer and also the runt in the world of Darwin's best.

So she helps me out!!!

I think she helps me because she knows, I am simple but smart.

She knows I am not cut from the same cloth as everyone else and so she grants me the grace of time...

Mother Nature grants me 15 years off my looks...but in time that grant will be waived....

And when my looks fade...

I will have only the curse of my heart that remains viewing the world as a naive child who thinks Utopia can be a real place.


I hold the world to a reasonable effort to grow up and meet the expectations of the Utopia I read in 'Candide'.

I am angry at our society just as much as Thomas Paine is in his address to the people in 'Common Sense'.



I understand the reasoning of these books but I am too simple to change anything.

I am too ignorant to figure out how to change people to see the world as I see it.

I see a socialist society where everyone cares about everyone else...and everyone wants everyone to be happy and have the same respect no matter what the fortune they carry.

But a pure world of these fortunate wants are marred by the those who have the bank and refuse to let free of the noose that strangle themselves and our public on.......we breed the poor to admire wealth without respect for the person behind the golden curtain.

Its Dorothy's trip all over again.

The Wizard of OZ was written as a protest to the government and the manipulation of swapping paper money for gold and debunking silver.

Monopoly was a game to teach the youth how bank lenders steal from the farmers!!!


But you are all grown up now,...and you don;t read the stories nor play the games I do...

You are so much smarter than the Blonde!

Pissed at Change

I am trying to figure out how to get back to my Truman Capote style of paragraphing but Google has fucked me over...Thanks Blogger..you slut and money whore!! The Blonde will change too!!!

Bored Blinde

I have been locked up for a week watching Ally McBeal reruns. I got to the third season and it just started getting stupid. The best ones are really the first 2 seasons. I do have to say, Boston Legal, is a total rip-off of the series. In the third season they kill off Billy...and with out Billy...there really is no Ally! At least not to this love lorn child. To keep my butt in gear, I have been bouncing on my exercise ball and using my little 5 lbs arm weights. I can't turn to jello just because I am in a bit of down town emotionally. I will get really depressed if my body grows love handles from inactivity. Anyhoo, I was also doing my spa day and giving myself manis and pedis and trying face scrubs and clay masks. Well.... The face mask caused an allergic reaction and their is a pink rim around my lips that looks like I took a vacuum cleaner hose to my mouth. At least my nails look pretty! It reminds me of the time when I used Nair to polish my woohoo...and I left it on way too long and got third degree burns. I walked for a few weeks like I had been on a saddle for a few months. Not a pretty picture I assure you. I do not mind being a human test rat when things work out. Its just when they don't work out... I rather PETA just kill me out of pity! Double anyhoo... even if I did not burn the rim of my smile...where would I go?! The Blonde has seen everything!

Whose Lonely?

I think for many of us, we are all lonely but I rather be lonely being alone than being lonely with the wrong person. For that, truly is a lonely feeling. At least I have the freedom to find something. Love may come for me or it may not. Nobody Knows!! Not even the Blonde!

4.20.2012

Fairy Tales

The problem with fairy tales is not every little girl gets to believe in them. For some, actually for most, the tale ends when the book closes after the read words of, 'Happily Ever After', and then they tuck themselves in. Love has no pride nor does it have shame! Fairy tales have no real value for anyone who had to read that tale alone!!


 The Blonde hopes the tales will turn!

4.18.2012

6 year old in Handcuffs


L.A. TIMES


My outrage is not toward the handcuffs.

My outrage is toward a system that allows a child with mental disabilities to be thrown into the wolves mouths of ignorant commentary by uneducated idiots regarding themselves as viable opinions!

There are laws protecting children from internet predators. Why is there not a law to protect the commentary on a story about a child?!!

A 6 year old child was handcuffed for her own safety. Why the teacher or a counselor could not body hold her to calm her down is not a mystery!! Everyone is so afraid of being sued and/or losing their job that they allowed this child to escalate into a violent episode until the police arrive.

It is beyond reproach!!

This child clearly has a chemical imbalance; a mental illness or a reaction to abuse!! The fact that blame is pushed around like sand on a beach and then raked over to hide the real blame...

Incomprehensible!!!

And to top off the disgustingly vagrant irresponsibility of the family and school...

I have to read the ugly commentary of very uneducated, overly opinionated idiots of society!!

The Blonde wants mouth guards!!

4.15.2012

Looking Back

I am trying to look back at my life and see where everything went so wrong.

The funny thing is...

I have to go back to age 7. My first boyfriend. Randy. He gave me a dogwood leaf cooper ring. I came home from school and proudly showed my Mother. She quickly accused me of stealing it and demanded I return it. Only thing was, I did not steal it.

Randy gave me my very first kiss. It was behind the rolling chalk board and as we were only in the first grade and new to hidden love, it did not occur to us that our feet showed underneath. The teacher quickly dispersed us and sent us on our way.

I took the ring back to school and hid it away in my little pink plastic cubby hole at the end of the school day. The next day I was hoping to wear it again but someone had stolen it out of my cubby.

I told Randy what happened with the ring and he broke up with me on the spot.


He would not forgive me and that set the catalyst for the next generation of men to hit my life in high school and college.

The Blonde is looking in her rear-view mirror!!

The Povery Line

There is a divide in this country and its not political...

The media has you believe thetre is nothing but mega wealth and mega poor; but for those of us living reality outside the gate of OZ...

We see the lines a little more clearly:


Its the Mega wealth divided by the almost billionaires.

The almost billionaires to the mega millionaires.

The mega millionaires to the millionaires.

The millionaires to the upper middle class

The upper middle class to the middle calls

The middle class to the lower middle class

The lower middle class to the poor..

And the poor is grouped into just one category...the category of a virus no one wants to get too close to.

But there is a poor who are creative and smart and live an eclectic but intellectual life.

The poor who work an honest life and just hope their kids find a better world for themselves.

And then the poor in money, mind, morality, and respect for themselves and any one else...


Society has drawn all these lines in the economy of people...

The lines have boxed everyone in.


The Blonde is claustrophobic!!!

Ally McBeal

I have been watching reruns of Ally McBeal and realizing, I am a lot like the character. I am easily provoked with matters of the heart. I am romantic in a world that is very anti-romance these days.

This past month, I have had to deal with a married jerk soliciting sex on MySpace. a jealous woman calling my phone 18 times a day (of which I have quickly nipped in the butt..that story to come later), and the colossal mistake of buying a ticket on a whim of chance love.

Men seem to want to hop in bed so quickly theses days. Its a total turn off to me and quite frankly, no relationship ever comes about such quick interludes. The best that will come about this premature ejaculation situation is a relationship slanted on the side of sex and to develop the rest of personality, romance, and love in order to bond is next to impossible.

Not to mention Internet dating has turned the prospects of love into a game of the contestants getting the prize but wanting more of a prize. No one bothers to stop spinning the prize wheel with online dating. They come home from a date and immediately log on to their perspective dating sites to see if they can do better.

Anyhoo,

One of the episodes talks about the reality of finding someone who is right as opposed to finding the one true love of their life. In the end, the character succumbs and marries the Ms. Right instead of holding out for a fantasy that will never happen. And if it did, it probably would be under false pretense. Of course the dude was way obese and chugging for a heart attack..but I digress..

Back to the story...

I have been holding out for the perfect one myself and that is why I am alone. There is no easy answer. There is not that perfect love and if you wait too long or keep seeking it out..you just might miss someone really great to love.

And we all have done this. That is why we invented drunk dialing. We all know there are missed opportunities and even though our heart is not in it...during a drunken stupor...our heart tells out head how stupid we are and thus a drunk email or drunk dial is imminent...sometimes.

I am not saying to ditch your dreams or your dream girl or dream guy..

I am just saying that dream girl or guy could be the one but was never given a chance because we looked for an upgrade.

We have two options in this life and for me...that option is hopeless romantic, holding on to finding something I know what come. I like the chase of the dream..

I haven't quite figured out how to settle down and make a perfect life with someone. I am disillusioned in the dream that it all comes wrapped in a pretty perfect package. Only, every time I unwrap the package...it is never the prize I think it is.

Don't make the same mistake as me.

Love is not in the leading man but the story of finding someone who can be your leading man..or woman!!


That is a Blondism!!

4.10.2012

I Want This Kind of Love



I Wont Get It!!

But A Blonde Can Dream!!!

Ala-Bam-Kalla-Zam

Hey Agenda 21 Redneck Radio...

Free speech allows for pornography, KKK, and the uneducated bible belt fools from Alabama.

We the people, of the U.S. Constitution and its Bill of Rights, protect you like we protect the mentally disabled, minorities, and gay community...

You breed contempt for the ignorant to propagate!! I would use hillbilly speech but your language eludes me.

What does, "speaking your alluser..." mean? Your radio co-host used it in reference to the white drunk who was 'decapitated' by an ordinance which is not a law!

And right after that in banjo strum timing...your cohort laughed on-air by mistake to the Hispanic who called in and you covered it up by speech not covered in any slang dictionary, let alone the Webster or the Oxford...those are also dictionaries you may not be aware of!!!

And by the way...Marines are not the brain washed opium farmers for the Afghans..and I have sent that comment on to the Marines for verification!

Marines are the uneducated crew of the military and so they replicate the ignorance of your radio show but they are defending our country why you are...

Satan's biggest and brightest student!!

Satan can not live without the likes of your ass!!

I had Satan over for drinks the other night and he actually got drunk and cried; He was so embarrassed that your radio station is his most profitable media venue!!!


The Blonde Reminds Americans of Semper Fidelis!!

Everybody Hurts




The Blonde hurts for everyone!!!

I Swear to God

Kill me now!!

My heart aches. I mean full out hurts right now.

I was skimming the radio channels to get back to comedy radio from the classical music radio station. And since the radio is a SONY, you have to click your ass through every piece of crap station known to man just to get to my favorite stations. Programming is futile..SONY has never worked out the kinks to its radio channel save issues.

I should sue SONY for psychologically damaging me tonight. Emotional
distress is off the charts.

Agenda 21 radio broadcasting from Alabama!!

Racist, ignorant, down right chemically unstable individuals hosting a radio show for the like of them!!

I hope you read the previous in hillbilly format!!

I am not going to repeat what they said since I posted it to my twitter. Look to the right of the blog screen to see or join my tweet at blindedbyblonde


I can not share this earth with these people!

I hope the Mayan end comes true. I am willing to sacrifice my life and my families just to see these souls die in a furious fire of hell bent biblical proportions brought on by a bunch of Mayans who coked their way out out of existence!!

The Irony would please me very much!

I only ask the Deities at hand bring back life that excludes these most disgusting, racist, ignorant fools, who truly believe they are above being brain washed from the medicated water the government is forcing them to drink, and they are way smarter than anyone else out there.

The Bible speaks of hell..and of this I believe...only Hell is not some spit fire, devil agenda hostel underground.

Hell is very much defined as the wrath of idiocy plaguing the earth and the way into the hell hole is through Alabama!!

The Blonde hopes Mother Nature wipes them out!!!

4.09.2012

Eat this, you pussy!!!

Testing for Turnips

One of my job applications passed through its internet bot and passed my app on to the testing bot. I had to take a general English and math test and then...

A work psych test...

They asked over and over how creative I was in solving problems..and while they promote creativity as one of their initial motivators for hiring...

I find the 'out of the box' thinkers are just being manipulated into a worm hole that will spit them out on the other end, bypassing any job opportunities.

Michael Dell said it best in an interview he gave to Forbes, "No one ever hires anyone they think is smarter or more motivated than themselves."

So the next time you see an ad that says 'think outside the box'. that is code for draw out the crazy smart and the Mensa crew...

Play smart but not too smart...

and keep your 'out of the box' thinking inside the lines.

No one wants to worry you will take their job away once they hire you.

The Blonde is testing her knowledge!

Harvesting for Harvard

I am 3k shy of my Harvard tuition.

I am about to sell off the last of my life from the pink house.

I have a 20x20 storage unit containing every thing that was not nailed down to my little pink cottage of love.

1200 square feet of inanimate objects that I collected through hard work and loving memories packed away in now what has become a sad and desolate time capsule.

If you open the door to my storage unit, the scent of my old home flows out.

Every rain storm my son and I danced in and dropped our soaked clothes onto the wood floor

Every bubble bath and shower that was taken in our giant claw foot tub that the cat liked to shit behind when she was mad

Every scented candle that was lit after my friends stayed way too long, drinking all my wine, and leaving their cigarette stench behind

Every meal I cooked with no more than 3 ingredients...salt, pepper, and the main one

The smell of detergent I used to wash the sheets and the fresh air they captured while I strung them up on a laundry line outside

These scents are only a whisper to the 70 years of life my house had before I moved in...

Florence, who owned the home before me, bought the house in 1937. She raised a family of 5 children who signed the deed over to me when I bought it.

I bought the house on a hand-shake. On the word of an honest man.

I asked if I should have a paper drawn up to secure the deal and he said, " I just gave you my word little darling. Why do need a piece of paper?"

I said I didn't need one.

I went on his word.

Everyone around me was pushing that I get it in writing.

Everyone around me was not me...

This life is full of takers and I hate most of everyone.

The last time I ever met anyone like me was the family who sold me my pink house.

"The eldest son told me," We have five of us and 10,000 a piece seems fair."

Not one of them argued. Not one thought they were cheated.

I owned that home for 15 years not looking to ever turn a profit.

I wanted the memory of their unselfish deed be a part of my life.

I am sorry I ruined it.

I am sorry I could not hold on to the house.

I am sorry the house has been flipped and turned for money sake.

The pink house deserved more than that. Its history deserved more than that.

My objects were only a brief memory for that house.

But my objects will pay for Harvard and my law degree will go to every living douche who ever thought money was more important than a life, a home, a history!!

The Blonde will legally whittle down the greedy!

4.06.2012

MySpace has been Invaded

by creepy status quo dude...

How dare this prick think I would have anything to do with him?

You know what pisses me off?

The fact that men who make money think women who don't make money are their playground for sexual their deficiency.

MySpace
is a place for incredible, artistic, creative, outside the Facebook box people who in my eyes will always be above the rest of you bored money makers.

This is the un-so suave romantic introduction from a very mis-guided, unhappily married twit:

Hey Veronica,
Stumbled across your Myspace page......
What a gorgeous, sexy lady....Yummy!.......
Not sure this will work for you, but here goes......
Me; 51 attorney in Austin-- Freetime during the days. Work downtown 6' 180 blond blue. Athletic build. Smart and fun. Dynamic and erotic. Confident and witty. Married....hey, at least I am honest! ....
I want a lady that can generate an intense mental and physical connection, a lady that is hot, mentally and physicially, for lust, passion and total body craving gotta-have-it sex on a recurring basis... ..
Interested???....



Not even the grace to spell check...

Asshole

The Blonde will shoot you down!

UnHoly Hell of a Funny




Spoiler alert..you will be totally offended if you have any religious affiliation!!

The Blonde is free from judgement!

Corrupt Your Kindle

Blinded By Blonde is now on Kindle

Follow the Kindle link and....

Help feed a Blonde!!!

Holy How

Did I miss that it is Easter this weekend? A blonde moment yes but I have disclaimers to go with it.

1. I don't have kids the age of reminding me about a giant bunny that hides eggs.

2. I am not Jewish, and although my friend is and reminded me of his big holiday,
I just thought Passover came before Easter like Hanuka and Christmas

3. I don't watch television and so I missed the Cadbury ads that shoves an egg up a bunnies ass just to plop it out for the big event. And if that is not embarrassing enough for the bunny...they totally kill its dignity with making it sound like a chicken.

The only good thing I can say is I am following the guidelines of Good Friday by not eating meat. And that is just a fluke really since I am into living a little healthier and meat has been off my menu for a while.

All in All, I wish everyone a fun 4 day weekend no matter what the occasion is.

The Blonde blesses the sanctity of a long weekend!

4.04.2012

Adding Color

to my very dark world today with the help of the very unlikely color of Macy Gray!!!




What would the Blonde do if she did not have music?

4.03.2012

Dallas Twisted but I am Screwed

Thanks Deity on hand.... for nothing!!!

I could have recouped my airfare from another online dating downer but

OH NO!!

You sent salt from the skies to rub in my wound all for your entertainment purposes.

I know they are laughing at me. They have a lingering bet board on my trying to grasp the concept of..

giving up on a useless endeavor.

I can't cancel the ticket online and I can't get through the phone system because of the hurricane in Dallas.

I am going to have to eat the price of the ticket.

I think I will frame this ticket in a giant gilded frame to remind myself that any man I find using an online dating system has absolutely no value other than replacing boredom for a few bits of my life.

I am not going to rant on about online dating any more than I have in the past. I am beating a dead horse here.

Its my fault for thinking that their might be someone like me online.

I fess up a little too much..I know that..but why should I hide anything?

Because the perception men have of women online is severely jaded?

Not my problem.

Well, it is...because I got stuck with a tab for trying again.

I am not working Pavlov's theory very well, Am I?

The Blonde is tired of dogs!

4.02.2012

YouTubers

What the hell is wrong with the people who post comments on YouTube?

I post on YouTube and I have yet to curse or bash anyone.

I critique. I make people think but I don't trash anyone.

I wrote a comment about a 12 year old girl on some talent show. She was very good but hair raising experience?

No.

I commented on that after seeing the exploits of young children pushed out on stage by eager parents to get rich off their talented little one. I can't help but notice that all the stage Mothers are a bit huge in girth and not very pretty. Some big girls are quite lovely like Queen Latifa, J-Lo, and as soon as I can think of a hefty femme fatale in the caucasian persuasion..I will let you know.

But...

I refrain from commenting things like this on YouTube but my blog is mine and I will say whatever I like.

My comment about this little pint sized junior pop star was merely this:

"I feel she has a great voice for her age but if you close your eyes and not be persuaded by her age, she still has some vocal training to do."

I got 15 hater mail. Curse words and everything.

I never comment back because I am not looking to engage in a conversation with idiots who clearly are just not that savvy in music.



All I am saying is, using your kids to get rich is a poor way to be a parent.

And these talent television shows exploit them to tug at the hearts of viewers and up their ratings. But at what expense to the children?

How do you tell a 4 year old, whom just read a poem about nature with a Boa slithering around her neck, that she is not going to make it to the next round?


The Blonde is not that blind!

Beyond the Boob

Because I have an obsession with pretty breasts, I tend to look at them. And I stare at the ones I like. I do not get any sexual feeling from them. I am not in any way, shape, or form attracted to women in that way although..after the men I have dated...I often wonder sometimes if I rather not want to date chicks.

I did have a lesbian stalker once and she went further than any guy stalker I ever had. She actually broke into my house. What really gets my goat too is the fact she broke the same window that was broken a month before by thieves. Having to replace the same window twice really ticked me off.

I am pretty sure lesbian are a trite more horrid than men.

I have nothing but admiration for the female form but that is all. Perhaps I was a lesbian in a past life and this is the reverb I have coming out.


Anyhoo,

I am certain I did not get into the private catholic university in Houston because my interview was with a very chubby young girl with a scoop necked top and perfectly sized breasts and her decolletage (the part in between the neck and breast) was peachy and smooth like a baby.

I know she caught me looking at them and although I tried to pass it off as looking at my application..

Forget it.

I was doomed. I am sure she tossed my transcripts in the pervert file.

Quite frankly, if you do not want me looking at them than wear a buttoned down blouse. Don't lycra the very curve of them in a stretchy knit top.

Well, thank God for Harvard. Its a sight unseen acceptance.



The Blonde needs eye to eye contact!

4.01.2012

The Incredible Beauty of Natural Breasts


I don't know how to put it any other way.

I have this obsession with a woman's Decolletage...and not the whole part of it but the old version of the meaning...

The bottom of the neck to the top of the chest framed by a GENTLY scooped neckline that shows just enough but flows with femininity AND gracefulness right above the nipple. The skin across the chest from shoulder to shoulder is smooth and soft and the delicate curvature that caves in and causes a shadow that directs your eyes not to the nipple but just above it....where your eyes and mind linger....as if in a spell..

I think a woman's breast, right at the bottom where it curves off the body and slopes up just to the nipple, when untouched and natural no matter the size, shape, age, color...is God's best landscape.


And I can marvel at the beauty of a naturally made breast without wanting to touch it, change it, or conquer it.




The Blonde has only admiration

3.31.2012

The Gods That Speak

...is just my inner voice oozing out of my cerebral cortex without me knowing it until I digest it!

I make every excuse in the book to not meet new people. I make sure to destroy any hope of a new relationship.

And you know how I know?

I am self aware.

Now, today, the car situation...I am not psychotic enough to cause damage to inanimate objects just to get out of a date..that was not even a fluke; it happened a few days before I met the bar style dates.

I just failed to get it fixed and perhaps that was my subconscious waiting to use it as an excuse.

I really would make a great psychologist if it weren't for the fact I hate people who are so unaware that they need a shrink.

I am actually more happy when things do not work out than when they do.

I really wish I could fix myself enough to not fuck things up for myself when I real meet a guy.

BUT

Damage does as damage is.

I am hurt and will never let anyone have the chance to hurt me again.

This I can not fix.

I thought I was OK.

I really did.

But I find a way to piss away any guy I meet, away.

Maybe one day...someone will be smart and sneak up on me really slowly and allow me to scratch like a feline for awhile before I settle into a comfort zone that might allow me to love....

but that guy is not one coming off the internet.

That guy, the one guy, will come out of no where.....

The Blonde will not have to look for it!

The Gods Are Speaking

...Loud and clear, they are!!

I was supposed to meet up for a date last night and somehow got involved with teen angst. I rather take in a run away and make sure the problemo with the parental units is worked out in a calm and mature way than allow her to shack up with girlfriends who will be counter productive in getting her back home.

Needless to say, all is fine and she is back home and I missed out on a date I was not too keen on in any way.


Than today, I was going boating with another date, one again not keen on. I do not like meeting up with someone I barely know surrounded by his friends. Its always an awkward situation where you feel you are being judged or summed up by strangers.

Well, my car battery is dead. The Blonde forgot to turn off her headlights the night before.

Its a large battery for a jaguar and a little battery from a Honda is just not going to do the trick. I need to hit Sears and get a battery charger and let it sit in the wall for a few hours.

No boat ride for me today!!

But their is a hug plus to this event.

The jaguar sat at the mechanics for 4 weeks while he figured out what the rattling in my car was. I picked it because after four weeks and no estimate, I figure screw it.

He said I needed a new suspension. Well, turn out I do not.

When I lifted the hood to look for the positive to charge the electric system in order to open the trunk where the battery is located, I found the reason for all the clanking in my car. The radiator fsn in the front has a frame and that frame is moving about when I hit a bump.

All I need is need ot due is tighten it back to the frame and VOILA!!

No more clanking in my car and all for the sweet amount of priceless.

I don;t what the Gods are calling me out on this weekend but considering my dates have been hindered..

I am going with that scenario.

I have my interview next week for a job at my prized Whole Foods and a cool new pad to call home.

All in all, its been a good thing.


The Blond is popping a beer and heading to the pool...alone!

3.30.2012

Selling Out

This weekend, I am going to post videos of Pavarotti singing duos with pop stars but before you see those..I will post 3 videos of him before he sold out...

and after you watch it...

I want you to ask yourself just one question..

Do you think...

he was happiest before or after he sold out for the money?

The Blonde asks rhetorical questions!!!

But for now..this is strictly just for me and its the exception to the rule..


You can never sell out playing aside Queen!!!

Nessun Dorma



This is pure passion..before he sold out!

The Blonde will fall to her knees every time!

Hard Headed Woman




The Blonde is looking for the same hard headed man!

3.29.2012

Full Moon Brings Strays

Strange evening tonight. I blame the moon.

I will tell you later...

I am in the midst of a romance film and quite frankly a little tired from playing mediator...

I am great with misunderstood and eclectic teens and so they acclimate to me but having to deal with their parents is down right exhausting.

The best thing anyone can do in a situation is step back

Re situate

Let emotions lie....

Its a full moon and it does funny things!!

The Blonde smiles at knowing the morning will bring new light!!!

Dating For Dummies

I have a date tomorrow and I got it the old fashion way. I plopped my ass down on a bar stool ordered a drink and waited for a hit.

Within 3 minutes, I had a gentleman walk up to me and ask me to join him and his friends. I declined on the sit in with strangers. Its always awkward and I somehow got a swinger vibe from the couple he was hanging with.

I said I would give him my number and so he pulled out his antique iPhone...and I thought uh...really? Dude? Get a new phone...

But as I thought that, I decided I was being unfair. I don't like men to judge me for my crappy jaguar and trust me they have in the past, so as not to be a hypocrite..I signed up for a meet up on Friday.

I am fairly certain he will not pan out but its company and something to do...and as I have said earlier in my posts...before I crack I need to get amongst peeps again.

I do have to say the one thing that kind of irritated me was he thought I was 29. And for a 50 plus gent to hit on someone he thought was 29...

I don;t know but it irritates.

I told him I am way over that mark and you could see the instant his face changed...

He was disappointed..and I thought ...why?

Why would you be let down that an age appropriate chick who looks like she is 29 be a disappointment?

I guess I am taking on the date just to fuck with him.

As a matter of fact, that is exactly why I am going on this date.

A 50 plus man with a 10 year old iPhone has the balls to think he deserves a sexy 30 year old?

YEP!!!

I am going to have fun with this one...

Stay tuned!!

Next week, I will find a new bar and a new student.


The Blonde will be posting grades!!

Google This

I run my blog through blogger but that is about to end now that Google has hijacked my account and forces me to sign in-not with my domain email- but a g-mail account.

It took me two hours to get my blog back!

Google apps is the worst!


I am getting really tired of the nerd wars the status quo is getting tangled up in.

Google can't stand they were knocked off the throne by Zuckerberg.

In a desperate attempt to catch up and find better ways of harvesting information, they have a created nightmare in privacy issues for Google kingdom.

I personally am dropping my g-mail accounts, moving over to Mozilla Firefox and knock the search engine back to Alta Vista.

I think I might start playing around with MySpace Again..

the people are the crazy eclectic types I like to jib with.

The Blonde says Yahoo!!

Google You R a Giant Cunt

In your vain attempt to out best Mark Zuckerdouche, you actually made me like him.

What the F----!!!!!

You may not be selling information but you are damn sure harvesting it.

You have my cell number...so what...

I have had more stalkers than you can count on your tiny techno douchebag heads and it can be changed in a blink of an eye!!!

My blog is finding a new home because I don't sleep with pussies who take it up the ass to be in bed with you!!!


Your pathetic attempt to harvest and compete with FB cost me 2 hours of my life just to log in to my blog...

You, GOOGLE, just became the creepy dude Matt Damon played in the 'Talented Mr Ripley'


AND

You just made me like Mark Freaking Zuckerberg!!!





As for you Blogger....

I had high hopes plugging a 'Pop and Son' team but you are sleeping with the devil

It hurts that I ditched Myspace for this albatross....


If you can't tell...

THE BLONDE IS PISSED AS HELL!!!!!

3.28.2012

Falling Apart?




For all you jerks who say women fall apart after 40....

The Blonde says Kiss My Ass!!!

Art of War

Did you know one of the rules in the book "Art of War' by Sun Tzu says "do Nothing, if you do not know what to do."

Simple as it seems, it is not.

To lie low until the right moment, the right attack, the right opportunity comes...

Most of us can not do that.

We panic.

We think if we sit and do nothing than nothing will be accomplished.

We busy our selves with things to make us feel that we are progressing but in essence, all we are really doing, is hindering our progress.

Hiding behind the facade of doing...

What do we do?

What is the purpose?

What is the goal?

For many years I have been doing nothing and yet I am progressing.

I hid out in the comfort of home, behind books and grades, and shunning myself from the world.

Outside the world was telling me I must do something


and so I tried to do


and I accomplished nothing

I wasted funds, time, and my worth on useless endeavors.




We have a path and along that path are battles we must face

There is no shame in stepping off the path and refraining from doing something just to do anything

Do nothing until you know what to do

Go after nothing until you know what it is you want


That is how you win a war with least resistance and no collateral damage


The Blonde is ready!

Truman Capote

wrote from his head and did not bother with typos or corrections.

He, unlike me, had an editor to clean up his words.

Emily Dickensen was never published during her life time. As a matter of fact, many told her she was a terrible poet.

It was not until her sister, upon Emily's death-took her writings to the very man who tore Emily's writing apart when she was alive-edited her work and made it suitable for publishing.

If you read Emily's hand written untouched work...you will get a better sense of her world according to her.

I write from my sub-conscious and not always does it come out the way I plan but I leave it unedited. I am also unpublished and if they ever edit me...

I want you to know the real me.

This blog is me..all the good, bad, drunk, sober, happy, sad, everything...

The Blonde wants you to know the reality!!!

3.27.2012

Lessons We Learn

I dated a guy a few years back from Dallas. I thought he was the one but it did not turn out that way..

No bigger shocker there!

But the lesson I learned was not about men. It had nothing to do with learning about my love life.

It was another kind of education he gave me.

He had a plane and not a fancy jet plane that would have made me miss the lesson I was to learn about my destiny. It was a little plane that flew not far in the clouds but just below where you could see the land.

Now, lessons are sometimes not discovered at the moment they are given. Sometimes the lesson takes a few years to be discovered.

But if your self aware and you look at every bad and good in your life and apply it to the future...there is meaning behind all those you have met, dated, loved, lost, or broke.

The plane ride we took was to New Mexico from way of Big D. We flew over the great land of Texas into New Mexico. And on that 6 hour flight I saw not a pretty place.

I saw the cattle farms where we get our beef. Hundreds of cows in a desolate and dirt world. I thought cattle farms are to have 1 acre per cow but for the large cattle corporations, those rules do not apply.

They sat there waiting for slaughter in a cruel and hideous world.

We as a society have become immune to whom and what we share this world with.

You pick up your beef in a grocery store without thought to how that animal was treated.

Did you know back in the mining days they would take a horse down in the tunnels and learned they would not go back down the next day. SO they took these horses down into the tunnels and left them there for 20 years working without ever seeing sunlight. They were finally let go into the fields when they went blind.

Imagine being someone sent down into a mine for 20 years and your only crime was that you could pull the weight of a mining cart.

I not only want this job at Whole Foods, I need it. I need to believe in a company that believes in a better world.

I need to be around people who see the same atrocities that I do and want to feel they are a part of change.

Wish me luck. I have an interview next week with Whole Foods and I need this.

The Blonde needs a place to apply her education!

3.24.2012

Eels



Open your music mind man...

There is so much more than the limits on Pandora and Sirius...


The Blonde is here to help you!!!

Don't String Me Along

I am seasoned and inducted into the Hall of Fame of Best Date Ever!

Are you an idiot?

I know every dating nuance there is known to man.




When a man hits heavy and hard with living together before meeting me..I know that fizzles out quicker than the bubbles on a warm soda popped open and then refrigerated.

You left me with a fare to no where because the fantasy picture you painted in your head was tainted by reality?


I have been calling you without reciprocation on your part all of the sudden...

And as if you think I have a learning disability, you bragged about dates you had for the weekend?

Now correct me if I am wrong...but I think its not very gentlemanly to have a girl fork over money for a ticket and you continue to date on weekends.

At least hold off on the cattle drive until the chick comes...

to your city and than if it is a no go...

By all means

go for the gusto

Tanto!!




I have not met you...why would I care?

The minute you spilled the beans on issues with your Mother...I knew...

find another plan girlfriend

and I have!!!



The Blonde hasn't been a newbie since she was 17!!!

3.23.2012

Sorry About the Dittos

I have no idea why I have multiple dittos of blogs...its been corrected but


The Blonde should log out after posting!

I'm Losing It

No seriously, I have got to get out and mix among life again.

I have a trip in the beginning of April to the east coast and hopefully things will work and I can stay awhile. I need Manhattan right now. I need it loud and busy and full of things to do.

Austin has become a 6 mile radius of life for me. I rarely go out and if I do, it just to the store.
I barely no my friends any more.

Basically I have been pouting because my life has not gone right for awhile. After being laid off my job in December right before x-mas was harsh and the reality moving out of my parent's abode delayed has sunk me to submarine life.

I realize moving is only going to happen if someone offers a room-mate situation. Going to school and the jobs available while I go to school can't afford the rent that is being charged these days...in any town.

I am hovering and lingering over the mistakes I made about my past and realize you can;t change any of it. The problem is, those mistakes have effected my present for a long time and may have altered a great future..

IF I let it...

but I won;t. I am going to get up one more time and try all over again.

A change of scenery and getting away from all the reminders-even if its temporary-is very much needed.

The Blonde needs to gather up!!

3.14.2012

I Didn't Forget I am not In Love Anymore

...so don't you ever send me a picture of you again.

How dare?

On what planet do you live on that its OK to burn me and my life to ashes and than think I would ever want you back?

Que?


Because I am still struggling with surviving after all you took...

I know you know that

And I know that is why you think I might want you back..

News Flash...

I don't

I do mind poverty but I am not alone...

I am not the only one struggling...

Money was never what I was about...

I like it, I want it, but I would never love a man for it...

You forgot why I loved you...

Or did you ever know why I loved you...

its confusing for you old gents...


SOOOOOOOOOOO

Remember me

and this....

I would rather walk on coals through a gallows of hell gleaming ear to ear knowing you will never

EVER

have the luxury of seeing me again!!


The Blonde will now bow and curtain close!!

Twitter Dee Twitter Dumb

Did you know there are apps to automatically delete followers who are not following you?

What kind of asshole would use this app?

I follow the ones I do because they are some of the most clever, most brilliant, incredible thought producing humans I have ever had the distinct pleasure of reading.

Why would I miss anything they say to follow a thousand people just to have a thousand follow me?

If all you care about is numbers, than you do not care about what people say...and you might as well be a candidate for the Republican race.

Twitter is about the voice of an individual and when its dilluted by these apps, you hurt the very soul of Twitters goal.

Follow those on twitter because they speak to you.

Not because they are a number...

Find your nitch on Twitter.

The Blonde's twitter list is raunchy, crazy, wonderful outcasts...

And they get in the club without ever having to wait in line with bullshit twats!




A

SXSW

I am in the midst of the SXSW epidemic going on in Austin.

And what am I doing?

Nothing!!

Nadda!!

Home alone!!!

In the comfort of a cushy chair on the veranda with smokes, wine, and a wide screen playing music through my Bose surround sound.

Why on earth would I battle lines for a warm beer or sticky drink along side stinky, sloppy people?

6th St is a massacre of crazy and I rather not partake!

SXSW is set up mostly to piss you off. You may have a badge but the venues are small and you have to fight to get in...why bother with the $600 price tag for all that?

If your young and its Spring Break and Mexico is off limits due to the drug cartel..SXSW is for you..

but if your a true aficionado...stay home and crank the surround sound...and wait for the crowd to go back from whence they came

The Blonde is NW for the duration!

3.10.2012

No Need to Speak



The Blonde has music!

Never Let Me Go



The Blonde bows her head to the incredible and undeniable Florence and the Machine!!!

Just One More from Johnny Lang




"Dying To Live"
Mmm...
You know I've heard it said there's beauty in distortion
By some people who withdraw to find their head
And they say that there is humor in misfortune
No, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead...

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see...
When there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die...

Yeah...
You know some people say that values are subjective
But they're just speaking words...
That someone else has said...
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective
Sometimes it's hard to tell the living from the dead

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see...
When there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die...

Mmmm...You know I used to weave
my words into confusion
And so I hope you'll understand me
when I'm through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion
But reality will make my dream come true

So I'll keep fighting to live
Till there's no reason to fight
And I'll keep trying to see
Until the end is in sight
You know I'm trying to give
So come on
Give me a try
You know I'm dying to live
Until I'm ready to die
I'm ready to die

The Blonde is humbled by the music!
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