SXSW

I am in the midst of the SXSW epidemic going on in Austin.

And what am I doing?

Nothing!!

Nadda!!

Home alone!!!

In the comfort of a cushy chair on the veranda with smokes, wine, and a wide screen playing music through my Bose surround sound.

Why on earth would I battle lines for a warm beer or sticky drink along side stinky, sloppy people?

6th St is a massacre of crazy and I rather not partake!

SXSW is set up mostly to piss you off. You may have a badge but the venues are small and you have to fight to get in...why bother with the $600 price tag for all that?

If your young and its Spring Break and Mexico is off limits due to the drug cartel..SXSW is for you..

but if your a true aficionado...stay home and crank the surround sound...and wait for the crowd to go back from whence they came

The Blonde is NW for the duration!

No Need to Speak

The Blonde has music!

Never Let Me Go

The Blonde bows her head to the incredible and undeniable Florence and the Machine!!!

Just One More from Johnny Lang

"Dying To Live"
Mmm...
You know I've heard it said there's beauty in distortion
By some people who withdraw to find their head
And they say that there is humor in misfortune
No, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead...

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see...
When there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die...

Yeah...
You know some people say that values are subjective
But they're just speaking words...
That someone else has said...
And so they live and fight and kill with no objective
Sometimes it's hard to tell the living from the dead

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see...
When there ain't nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die...

Mmmm...You know I used to weave
my words into confusion
And so I hope you'll understand me
when I'm through
You know I used to live my life as an illusion
But reality will make my dream come true

So I'll keep fighting to live
Till there's no reason to fight
And I'll keep trying to see
Until the end is in sight
You know I'm trying to give
So come on
Give me a try
You know I'm dying to live
Until I'm ready to die
I'm ready to die

The Blonde is humbled by the music!

Resotration

Heart is heavy
Soul is thirsty
Body's achin'
I am desperately in need of restoration
I am ready for you to take me higher
The only thing that I can do is keep on praying
On my own I just can't get it right
It doesn't matter how hard I try
But with you I've become a much stronger man
Getting on my knees puts me back on my feet again
Load is heavy
Too much accumulation
These possessions that I have amount to nothing at all
I am willing to hand over every one of them
'Cause they won't profit me anything in the end
/Repeat chorus/
Never again: will I wander without you alone in the wilderness
Never again: Will I offer to you anything less than my very best!
Never again: Never again Now that I understand

The Blonde is not the Only one feeling down sometimes!!

Be Thankful!!

The Blonde thanks God everyday...even if she thinks there is nothing to be thankful for...

because in the end...no one died...and for that I am blessed!!!

Smile Hard

and don't share your pain or tears.

That is the hard lesson of being single.

Every new date is someone who does not wish to hear anything other than how your presence will make them happier.

And so if you are angry at the world..

Or angry at yourself for failing at something...

Keep it to you yourself.

Cry in your pillow and in the morning wake up pretending all is alright...

Because being single does not lend itself to a shoulder to cry on....

Unless you count your cat and they don't like a heavy head on their shoulder.

So suck it up Blondie

No one really cares what you are going through!

Political Opinion

We all have one. The cable news has more to fill a an entire sanitation truck and still over flow.

I won't get political. I have a son in Afghanistan and so anyone who does not have a family member in the war...needs to shut the FUCK up...

Santourm
Romney
Ginrich
Obama
Paul,
etc..etc..etc...

Just shut the fuck up!!!

Also, if you never took a birth control pill...
than shut the FUCK UP!

Santorum
Romney
Ginrich
Obama
Paul

etc, etc, etc....

SHUT THE FUCK Up says the BLONDE!!!

If you are worthy of being president than speak up...

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

The Blonde hears crickets!

East Coast Hop

I have to say eharmony and its personality test have not chosen anyone I would not have chosen for myself on match.

Many were ones that did not physically appeal to me and logistically, Eharmony is a nightmare. I could not find one person in my general locale to date.

I did drive a few times to Houston to see someone but that gets old really quick. And the fact he has 3 divorces behind his belt and he is a bit too old.

The men I am attracted to all live in New York so that is where I am going.

I will see Raine for an evening and then pass myself onto the new guy for the weekend.

I have never been to Greenwich and it will be a fun get-a-way...and who knows?

Its funny. I totally have a thing for cute Jewish guys. Its my Achilles heel.

Curly hair, funny, smart, and perfectly sized in body and height.

I have been in Austin for 20 years and not once did I date an Austinite. I don't get them. They certainly don't get me.

And Augusto does not count since he is originally from Boston and Equidor.

In order to get a jump on my love life before I die alone, I must make drastic changes and be fearless.

Either way, the blog will start back with dating stories--its about time, don't you think? Lets hope they don't end up as a horror story.

The Blonde is making a giant leap!!

Gaining Momentum

especially my emotions.

I guess I was feeling the pangs of Boo landing in Afghanistan this week. I can only pray and hope and know he will be safe.

I on the other hand have to keep going with life here and that means sifting through a bit of sadness and figuring out how to get my groove again.

I am working on it.

I am planning for school and even a temporary move to the east coast for the summer.

I know things will be fine. I just need to stop hiding out in my room.

So, I am meeting old friends in New York.

Making new ones in Connecticut.

I am still looking for work but hopefully something will turn up.

Meanwhile, I can;t say I won;t get down some times but at least I know...

The Blonde always gets back up!

Where is my Spirit?

You wake up and today is like any other day. It would never occur to you that a few blocks away from you someone has lost their spirit. Not their heart, not their soul but their spirit.

And you being 4 blocks away would never think that this would have anything to do with you but what if you caught it in a drift of wind?

OK, that would be crazy. A spirit does not float off into the wind. As a matter of fact a spirit is grounded inside each and every one of us and the only way to get it out is to beat it out of us

And a beaten and broken spirit has no chance of flying anywhere.

But where does it go?

Its beat, broken but not lost…not gone…
Beat and broken
The first place it will not want to be is where it was beat and broken

So not me
But my spirit belongs to no other so it is not hiding in anyone else
ok
so my spirit is not in me and not in another
it does not float or fly
for a broken spirit has no wings nor desire to be free
does it drag behind me?
In my shadow?
In my memory?
In the old me?
Does my cat hold it for me?
Can a cat hold a spirit?
Maybe that is why she is so fat.
A spirit like mine is a heavy one to hold.

When was the last time I used it?
When was the last time I believed in me?

It was the day I found the pink house.
The day I signed the papers.
It was mine.
I did it all on my own.

And then the sharks came one by one until it was gone.

In the end it was me….I could not defend myself against the sharks and I lost everything.

I was weak

I did not defend myself

I still have no idea how to defend myself but I know how to guard myself

I have a wall

that has kept me a prisoner.

There is no gate holding me other than my own head

SO let's chop it off!!!


The Blonde has nothing to loose!!

Broken Spirit

I hate when they say they broke a horse, as if it is something to brag about.

Breaking anything is nothing to be proud of.

I have had my share of broken hearts and I have worked out all of them.

I got over them and laugh at it.

But...

I have just realized that I have been hiding from life...

I thought my spirit was wounded but could ride it out.

Turns out..my spirit is broken.

I have not been healing or mending.

I have been hiding and dying.

I have been broken for a long time and hiding it very well from myself.


Well...

Now I know...

I see me and my brokenness

now

what do I do

to fix me?

Can the Blonde be fixed?