When your Venus is in Virgo

...you express love by doing things for, and fussing over, your loved one. You notice little things about your partner, make mental notes of their likes and dislikes (this may sound contrived, but it's not—it's simply the way you're wired!), and genuinely try to help your lover in practical ways. You listen to what your lover has to say, and you have something sensible and intelligent to say in response! In fact, you are great at communicating about your relationship.

One dilemma that can easily happen with this position: Your partner doesn't always know how to please you. You might have a simple answer, but he/she may still wonder. You see all of the details of your relationship. You worry about its viability, and tend to the practical details of partnership. These are important contributions to the relationship, but because they lack glamour, your partner may not always appreciate you. You are not the most romantic partner, and your tastes are rather simple (although, as mentioned before, it is hard for others to see that simplicity because you may have a habit of fussing). Can't see the forest for the trees? Your partner might accuse you of this, and it may be true. You will benefit from sitting back and infusing yourself with some faith in the big picture, once in a while. But, you are needed! And there are partners who will see that. You work hard at making yourself indispensable in your partner's life. Generally, you don't throw yourself into love affairs too readily. This does not mean you are chaste, like the Virgo of yore. Some Venus in Virgo natives can even be promiscuous. But when it comes to gooey romance, where lovers bare all, you are rather selective and self-contained. You are a very sensual being who wants to feel safe before giving yourself to another. Venus in Virgo has a reputation for being critical. This does happen, but it generally is a symptom of insecurity. You can't help but see the failings and the holes in any partnership, and you can sometimes be quite reticent about entering a partnership. Generally, though, you will see what's wrong with a person at the outset of a relationship when it doesn't feel safe to you as yet. It's a defense mechanism more than anything! Your own insecurities can propel you to see faults and problems in your partner. Once you feel safe, however, you are not quite the fussbudget Venus in Virgo is made out to be. You value effort put into a relationship (in fact, for many with this position, effort from their partner is at the top of their list).

If I could just hand this out on a first date, it would save a lot of remorse!!

The Blonde is a Venus Goddess!!

Birth Chart of Solar Girl

Sun in Leo

There's an unmistakably regal air to Solar Leos. These are dignified--even noble--folk. Leos have a reputation for being conceited, but think again. Leos do feel important, but this generally takes the form of wanting to change the world in some way--to make the world a better place. They are generally motivated by affection for people, and often have big dreams and plans to make people happy.

Generally, Leos are hard-working. After all, they are attracted to the good things in life, and they know they have to work to get them. It is sometimes difficult to imagine Leos as go-getters if you happen to catch them in one of their languid moods. These people can sleep in, laze around, and luxuriate for long periods of time. However, when they do get to work, they do it with intensity and determination. In this way, they are not unlike their symbol, the lion. The worst thing you can do to a Leo is accuse them of bad intentions. Displaying behavior that makes them think you don't appreciate them runs a close second. These happy, jovial people become mighty hurt when others don't see them for their noble intentions.

Loyal, and sometimes rather traditional, Leos are, after all, a fixed sign. They'll hold on to situations and people for a very long time before they give up. There is an unmistakable idealism to Leo's view of the world and the people in it. Often, Leos have a very noble inner code that they answer to. Although on the surface, Leos appear rather confident, they can actually be some of the most humble souls around. They are the first to blame themselves when something goes wrong. Once again, it's the Leonine self-importance at work, and this characteristic works in unexpected ways. Instead of being the conceited, self-absorbed show-offs of reputation, they are usually very self-aware, self-conscious, and, yes, even humble.


I will post the not so glowing paragraphs later.


Let me have tonight to bask in the glow!!


The Blonde is shedding some light!!

Budget Crisis

Its a crisis when you can't afford your expensive face cream and have to use what you can find around the house. I personally pillaged my parent's home and grabbed some glycerin suppositories.

I figure for someone whom every once in awhile talks out her ass could use a little butt cream for the face.

It actually works better than Loreal face cream and its not as greasy as Vaseline. I would have used Preparation H but ever since they took the shark oil out, it doesn't tighten as well.

If this sounds gross, its not half as freak as shaving your face. Some dermatologist in California is telling women the best exfoliation for the face is to shave it.

Personally I couldn't do it. It felt way too manly and weird.

Its all about boundaries.

Of course mine isn't set so high that I am not above using butt suppository bullets on my face.

Everyone is tightening their buckle these days. I am just glad I found a cheap way to tighten my facial epidermis.

Anyhoo,

I was thinking about home facial peels and if I bought the new Compound W Freeze Away with the q-tip stick and lightly brush it over my face I could achieve a refreshing new complexion for $20.

I will have to think about that one. I have haunting memories of trying to use Nair for hair laser removal on my pee-ka-choo and that nearly burnt my labia off.

Hmmm...

Blondie needs a few more physics classes before attempting to freeze off dead skin layers.

The Blonde is dangerously money conscious!!

Hibiscus with the Captain

Its been awhile since I sat down at Maudies to have hibiscus margs with the Captain and as usual it was an awe inspiring night of conversation.

This night was about past life regression and how you must make up for all the wrong in your past life to move forward in this life.

Personally, I must have been a real asshole in business and personal relations in mine but I will never be really sure since I won't be forking out $250 greenbacks to an 80 year old past regression hypnotist any time soon.

Besides, I might find out that I am a jerk in this life and just too blonde to realize it.

I do think I was pushed off a high building in my past life since I am not afraid of heights. I am just wicked scared of falling from them.

Anyhoo,

Back to the Captain.

He was a cowboy who was a real jerk to his bride and she was cheating on him. He found out and rode his horse until the horse tripped and he went head first into a rock and died. Which lead him into the life.

In this life he gets to meet up with all the people of his past who turn around and set karma straight on him and vice versa.

Of course, the girl who cheated on him in a former life, also did him wrong in his present life and she seems to be reaping some nice benefits playing the Captain and her not so Ex husband. Guess she will be paying karma coins in her next life.

Apparently, now...the Captain's biz partner died and the girl who did him wrong in both lives is pregnant. What if the Captain's biz partner gets reborn into the Captain Ex and it turns out to be the Captain;s baby?

Wouldn't that me a karmic whammie.

I am just wondering what the horse came back as to get his karmic retribution in this life for being rode to death in the Captain's past life.

So in this life....

The Captain is off to see the past regressionist tonight and I will get the rest of the scoop.

I am dying to know what I was in his past life. I hope I wasn't a madame in his past life, which means its my past life, but considering my present dating habits, it could explain a lot.


The Blonde is sweet on stories!

4000 Peeps and Counting

I checked my stats on the blog today and over 4000 peeps have been reading it.

Half of those are probably ex-dates.

I have had my share and more than a few blonde's shares put together.

Its my fault I can't keep a man because the ones I pick are not worth keeping.

It takes an average of 6 months to get through the charming stage and everyone begins to let their true hair down. That's when you really get a view if someone is worth keeping or not.

The problem with online dating is no one wants to date their own age. Men are looking for 10 years and younger and as a blonde femme, I am stuck with dating men 10 to 15 years older.

They are too set in their ways and not as much fun.

I still have a lot of young in me and I like dancing in my underwear to ACDC loudly while doing my hair and make up before I go out. Not something older dudes appreciate all the time.

I love that I can claim myself as one of the X gen. We have a lot of cool in us. I need an X gen guy to keep it going.

So I have revamped my online profile at millionairematch.com.

I know, I know... it sounds like a gold-digger site and I know that it is for most the crew but for me I like the free of charge aspect of it and its not like everyone has to be a million dollar baby on the site. I also like the fact that I won't be bombarded with booty call seekers like the one's on 'match' and 'loads of fish'.

I may not get any hits since I told the truth about my age, my finances, and what I am looking for. I did fail to disclaim that my car has a furry ass but too much, too soon is never a good thing.

My wants:

I want a man my age.

I want a man who doesn't have a lot of money.

I want a man that has fallen on hard times like I have.

I want a man that loves music and fun and knows who Max headrum is.


I want someone to share a life with and you can't do that moving into someone else's world.

You need to have the same world and grow it together; remember when we were twenty something? How fun was that?!!

I am going to be a lawyer in a few years. I will make tons of money pissing off people that piss me off every time I listen to the news. I am super animated and my voice carries. I will be superb in a court room setting.

Plus I am a Leo and a Blonde.

I love attention.

I will be super successful.

It would be great to hook up with a Madoff reject stock broker looking to rebuild his financial stats.


All I ask, is that they be cute, my age, and broke.


The Blonde is adding to her numbers!!

Im in a No Call Zone

...and loving it!!

Doesn't it suck when you are dating someone and the phone seems to ring less and less on your end?

Obviously something is up and I just assume put my phone down.

I like not having to worry about if someone is going to call or not call.

Its really irritating carrying a phone around that doesn't ring.

I am not attached at the hip to my little cell.

If I am bored, I don't start texting people.

I tweet (@ blindedbyblonde) instead.

Less invasive, at least for my friends!!

Anyhoo,

Another dude bit the dust and its not like a I had real hopes for it anyway.

I am just burnt on long distanceships...they don't end up anywhere other than on a bed for a bootie call and I can get that anytime and anywhere in my zip code.

I don't need to pack and fly off somewhere for it.

Of course with the radio ads toting Austin as having a high rate of syphilis, I detached my special lady part and am keeping safely at home next to my cell.


The Blonde is not in!!

Burning at Both Ends

Its such a struggle to keep on top of the bills these days.

I am not alone many small shops are closing their doors. Austin's 'Books Without Borders' is one of those online stores that is shutting down. Books somehow don't have much value these days. Even giant super book stores like Borders is closing shop.

Its a shame...I love books...the paper kind...its just so nice to read a real book instead of on an Ipad, Iphone, or laptop. I read enough online...I like to detox from the internet with a good paperback.

But with the cost of gas all those nice little things we like to buy are on hold.

I haven't sold anything since gas jumped to $3.50.

I don't get it. Gas costs more but you get 10% less of it since they put ethanol in it.

Corn sucks for my little engine that runs.

Corn lobbyists have taken over top spot for douche awards knocking cotton lobbyists down a nocth.

Remember Woody Harrelson being arrested for growing hemp because it was tainted by the cotton lobbyists as a Mary Jane plant?

Columbia sells cocaine to the US because the cotton lobbyists locked the import of cotton from them. I guess Karma is a biatch.

And what about catnip? which is a form of the pot plant...I don't see cotton lobbyists coming down hard on cats that get high off the stuff.

And when it comes to ethanol, it sucks for most cars. My furry little jag is drinking oil a lot more heavily but than again so am I.

At least I am not guzzling down a bottle of corn syrup that was advertised as a healthy ingredient to children's cereals and juices.

Kidd-O-besity starts with corn syrup.

Who are they kidding?

Anyhoo,

If I don't get something to improve on my money end, I will be making a corn stalk house and stalk piled bed somewhere.

Its a bitch to be broke but its even more of salt in the wound when companies are just raping the villagers.

Where is our Robin Hood?

Can he jump out of the pages of an old paperback, put on a batman suit and beat the crap out of politicians who allow raping and pillaging of the consumer in the name of friendly political donations?


The Blonde needs to put out some fires!!!

I Am

remarkable...

On the outside, to people looking in, I may not seem so but I am.

I wake up every morning in a 10 x 12 room with my things stuffed to the walls and up to the ceiling and the rest of my world is stacked in a 20 x 10 storage unit packed in like sardines in a can...

yet I find a way to get up everyday and smile and think that something good is going to happen.

I am remarkable because I refuse to give up.

My ancient auto has fur stuck to its trunk and a giant gash in the side but I drive it with my head held high.

That makes me remarkable.

I am going to the university with kids half my age and I don't feel old.

That makes me remarkable.

I dance, I play my guitar, and I laugh all alone on Friday nights...

and that makes me remarkable.

I stare at my tiny room while looking at large homes in the newest edition of Architectural Digest and I don't get jealous; just maybe a little down...


I just think to myself, "How lucky the owners are to have such a pretty home."

and that makes me remarkable.

I struggle to find the money every month just to pay my bills on time and it takes me three times as long to study for an exam because I have ADD...yet

I do it.

I carry on.

And I find a way to smile...


That makes for a remarkable Blonde!!

Simply The Best

The best relationship you can have is the one with your best friend and when he is the opposite sex, its even better.

Can you just imagine how fabulous life would be just living out yours with your best friend?

I am happy single and the only thing that would improve my personal life is if I was able to find a best friend to booty it up with.

Dating sucks. Especially now where everyone thinks your out to take advantage of them.

Its different in your twenties where only a few hearts were broken.

Now that I am in the range where everyone is divorced and has been burned..oh my gah!!!

You can't find one person without a chip on there shoulder about something.

Me included.

I hate the fact that I never burned anyone but every guy I go out with is on the look out to see if I am on the take.

You know what?

Go take yourself to another chick.

That is what I have to say.

I spent the day with Augusto and while we are best freinds..its without the booty fun and sleep overs.

But I will take it.

I will take my friday afternoons.

I will take the tennis, the hiking, the general laughing over sangria at Los Palomas. Excellent pibil, by the way.

I will take just that little bit every Friday because its better than looking for some tool online again.

For now,

I am suffering through financial hurdles and that is not attractive to any suitor so I just assume not date the suits.

I am much happier not looking for anyone anymore.

If a best friend happens to cultivate out of the blue in some weird mishap of a chance encounter, than yeah.

But if not, yeah to me too for being happy and not desperate.

The Blonde likes the better part of things!!

Bravo!! Mon Ami

Vous avez leur liberte'!!

You have your freedom!!

You did not dance with the divorce devil and grabbed onto more important things.

Bravo!!

Bravo!!

Money is important, don't get me wrong. I know! I suffer from not having it!

Mais (but) quand (when) tu ( you) avais (have) assez (enough) livre (to live) sur (on)...vous choississez vivre ( you choose to live)!!

You choose to live!!

Live with reckless abandonment for a few days and than live happy and alone for awhile...and than find love again.

And maybe love isn't from another. Maybe the love you need is your own.

Love yourself.

I don't want to get all 'eat, pray and lov' on the subject...many movies cover that but there is a reason.

It is true.

Il est vrai!!

So many of us do not have the chance to live in the moment. We are in survival mode but that too will change.

We need only to keep saying to ourselves...it will be alright.

Say it over and over and over....


Do not let lack of money break you.

You change your phone, you ignore creditors...and one day when you are back on your feet...you will get caught up.

You may have fallen but you are far from down.

I say that all the time and its helped me.


The Blonde will brave it with you!!!

Divorce is Your Mistress Now

I tried to open up my arms and let you embrace something other than a volatile situation but you are choosing to embrace your divorce.

Divorce is your mistress.

The courts are your bitch.

I tried to offer a loving hand to hold onto but you chose to push me aside.

So good luck with your life.

I don't envy you.

But I don't support you either.

Your life is on the line?

No its not...your money is.

You will find trying to hold on to life is 10 times the work.

And when it comes to divorce, she is the meanest bitch you will ever meet.

When she feels she has burnt you, all she can, she will try to burn those around you.

The divorce will try to get phone records, credit card charges, and wrap up anyone you have been seeing during your separation...

and take them down.


And I am not willing to go down for someone who told me 'yeah, we got it..your life is hard"



The Blonde hopes you have a happy life too!!

Erase Your Mistakes

In life you can't erase your faux pas but you can learn from them; all those little mistakes add up and if your smart, you take the opportunity to seize and correct them.

I have the same situation in french class.

I quickly jotted down the questions I heard on my audio CDs to answer them in correct form.

I forgot to erase my french jotting which is the equivalent of gibberish.

I got the answers right but my french teacher deducted 5 points for my gibberish and it wasn't even part of the homework!!

He is tough but I don't view it as unfair.

I see it as someone making me work harder to be better at what I want to do or become.

I think their is a love hate relationship between me and my professor but its OK because I am going to beat the hater out of him.

I am not in this for a quick giggle and a credits. I am in this to learn french.

Just like tennis.

I only play with those better than me because it drives me to be better.

It would be great if we all hung out with better people to propel us to be better as human beings but so many settle.

Not me!!

I am surrounding myself with those who want to be better and so far that leaves....

Um....

Zero...

Come on peeps...let's all learn to be better and work on ourselves.

The Blonde is learning from her faux pas!!!

The Accidental Buddhist

I guess you could say I am the bag lady these days.

Starting a business is always a little bit of nerve racking and investing your last dime is like sleeping on a rack instead of a mattress.

I know my store is moving along but... really slowly.

This is the time the Blonde grabs onto faith and just prays every night that something is going to sell.

I am almost out of my designer things and the last few hold outs I do not think I can part with.

But if I am in the red, they will have to go to.

I am learning to live like a Buddhist.

I have to learn that the designer goods and material things I have are not the things that make me happy.

They doid and I am sad to see them go but in the end, I am still happy.

I wish things were better right now.

I am sure a lot of people wish things were better but the Blonde can't give up.

I know there is better times ahead.

And even if this is as good as it gets, I have to laugh in hard times face.

You can't call me down if I am still laughing and smiling.

Happiness is internal.

If you remember that, than even if you lost every material good....

You are still good to go.

Bless the people of Japan.

I do not know what it must be like to have your loved ones swept away and everything you built together.


How lucky I truly am.


The Blonde is enlightened!!!

About Last Night

I had a fun night last night. I sat outside on a pretty night and laughed my arse off talking to my friend and her ex / on again, mostly off again man, on the phone.

I was sipping wine, yapping, and having an all night party with myself.

It made me think about the Commodore and how his world is not sooo much fun right now. I can't write about his personal stuff but the situation can not be cured with a bottle of wine and a good hangover.

Anyhoo,

I try to show support but I am not so sure if its wanted or if someone else has replaced my spot for a shoulder to lean on.

I could keep putting myself out there but what if he does have someone else and he is just being too nice to say something.

Ikes, that would be embarrassing, not to mention....

This Blonde does not need emotional charity.

I have been on the single path a long time with plenty of ships that just sailed off to another sea and I realize, I can't keep getting deeper and deeper involved unless the man confirms he really just wants to dock at my port.

I hope he is well. I do not know. Its a tough time and maybe he is just all locked up in his mental man cave trying to get through a really rainy season.

I hope the peeing on his parade ends soon and he can find his way back to me.

The Blonde is tired of dating herself.

If You Build It They Will Come

Well, I built it.

I paid an initial fee of $49 for free insertion fees and free final value fees. My items are buy now at great prices and one price priority shipping.

Ebid.net burlap bikini

Ebay so gallantly offered 50 free insertions to soften the blow that they will now include shipping in their 21% (that is what they charge for clothing and handbags--not including 1.50 to list with 2 photos and 7 day extended auction) .

I only charge for shipping.

I do not pad the shipping costs.
I lose money on shipping just to pack it nicely.
I don't cram things or jam things in a bag.

I am sorry Ebay's board that you let the ex-CEO run off with a crap load of billions. It is not my problem and I am not your way out.

You are not passing the buck onto me.

If the CEO can spend a billion dollars on a campaign, what else did she walk away with?

If I want to spend on charity, I will give it to Japan, not some douche company that gave their CEO too much of everyone else's money.

You want my Louis Vuitton belt, my Faragamo evening bag, my Cole Haan loafers...

all barely used condition than you have to move to ebid. net...cuz that is where my new store front is.

And might I add, auctions are the thing of the past. Everyone knows to put the bid in last minute so I price my items knowing they wont sell for more than the auction price.

It seems sleazy to me.

I am pricing at what I want. Standard price. Buy it now.

Its a fair market value.

My sale items are not Goodwill.

I should know.

I donate a lot to them.

And after visiting Filenes Basement, my prices and goods rock.

Filenes, TJMAXX, Stein Mart have all become a dump of cheap goods!


The Blonde bids Ebay a fair adios!!

Not Quite a Bag Lady Yet

but its an early shopping day.


The Blonde is working the plaza!

I Forget We Grow Old

I know my cats are just cats but to me they are my family.

Goose and Sophie are 16 years now.

They move slow.

They look a bit ragged but Sophie will still turn her tummy before you can blink an eye just to get that belly rub.

Goose, my Gustave Vladimir Russian beauty, he is cranky (always has been) and if you set your hand in his dome covered basket, you will get it nearly bit off.

They are old now and

one day I will have to say good-bye and it will...

HURT

by Johnny Cash.

I forgot how old he grew, too.

The sharing is disabled on this video but follow the link.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go


The Blonde wishes everyone had more time!!

A Bright Sunny Day

Its amazing how your body holds onto stress and exhaustion without you even knowing it. It isn't until you are able to breathe a sigh of relief that you emote like a baby.

Last night, I felt the weight of school and work just drop off of me.

I cried like a baby and tucked myself in and slept all the way through.

Today, I feel like a got a 3 hour massage and face lift.

It would be great if we all had a mirror where we could actually really see ourselves.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a magic mirror on the wall telling you,

"Girlfriend, you are stressing and its showing. All the night cream in the world isn't going to fix that puffy, sad little face with dark circles until you take some time out and breathe."


It would be nice if mood rings worked for real. I bought a bunch for novelty to sell and I love them but unfortunately they only change colors on the climate, not the mood.

Still, we all need some way of figuring out when our bodies are on the red part of rev. We need to stay cool and hang in the yellow part otherwise our motors are going to burn up.

We don't have a magic mirror or an RPM meter but we do have buttons...

Those lovely little hot buttons that seem to set themselves off at a moment notice..

The lovely human meter

Warning

Warning

Red Hot and full cranky is now launched!!

Unfortunately, the warning is so short we end up flooring it and go full speed ahead to no stopping the rants now.

People may think twitter and personal blogs are a waste of time but I can tell you, they make for great therapy.

Who cares no ones reading or listening. All we need to do is vent sometimes. And its nicer to vent online in a harmless place than grab road rage and scream at an innocent blonde who tried to let you go around her before she looped around to park.

The Blonde has lots of highlights ahead!!

Spring Break

is officially here for me. I finished the last of my classes this evening and its quiet.

It would be nice to have someone here to rest my head upon their chest and curl up on the sofa and watch a movie but, alas, I am alone.

It's surreal in its quietness.

Its a little sad and a little lonely tonight.



The Blonde is rather broken tonight!!

SXSW Austin TX

Hellooooo...I am soooo not....

working while SXSW goes on.

I am not sitting home alone next week.

I am going to SXSW.

I have to go in tidbits since I am not forking over $300 for a badge. $750 if you want the techhie stuff.

I will however fork over $10 for Mel Gibson's 'The Beaver'

and all the other stuff I want to see!

Mumford and Sons

Foo Fighters

The artist who did the Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, etc...record covers at the Blanton!!

Movies, music, and chillin around downtown!!!


The Blonde doesn't need no stinking badge!!!

Alibaba.com

...is the magic genie lantern for the Chinese looking to rub a few dollars off Americans.

It is a bold in your face, screw you website.

I have tried to order wholesale but you do not get wholesale prices.

And shipping becomes ridiculous.

I tried to order sample suits for my kini shop and the one shop quoted me a fair price on samples but told me the fabric in the pictures was not available.

OK, so I pay fro sub-standard kini fabric.

Then they try to charge $200 for 36 kini samples.

Seriously, did I fall off a rice cart in Hong Kong?!

No, I did not.

I f I pay $200 shipping for 36 kinis, what is my shipping going to be on a mass scale...say 1500 kinis?

I don't need calculus to be a genius on this transaction.

And here is the kicker....

They want me to Western Union or wire transfer the money!!

Bold face Bull-YAa!!!

Yeah, Right?!!


Let me just send you a big fat bonus for finding another idiot in the U.S.

Bling!!

It is not that hard to find them. But you missed and found me.

So, you really wasted my time and I hope, at least, I wasted yours.

You douchinese!!!

Find another sucker.

The Blonde's bottle isn't filled with stupid!!!

La Classe Francaise est Faite

...pour maintentant!!

My french class is on break for the spring and while it is only for a week and a half...I feel elated!!

I have studied my little heart out and I am pulling A's and B's on the quizzes and homework. I have 3 exams that if I work hard through spring break, I will get the A's.

So my margarita and alone time on some sandy tropical isle will be replaced with a tropical screen saver and my $4.99 Cabernet from the local Stop and Shop.

Voila, ce n'est pas probleme!!

I just want to say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I can see why the kiddos are psyched about spring break...

It is an AHHHHHH moment.

And I am just in AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!


The Blonde says its ahhhhhhll gooood!!!

The Quantum of Love

Something I used to blog about all the time has taken a back seat lately but I do have some thoughts to apply to it using algebra.

Take the sum of all his actions and subtract it from the sum of all his words.

If you end up with a positive number, your golden.

If you end up with a negative number, you need to convert that into a division against all the other negative numbers from guys and eventually you will see a losing battle.

I am on an infinity pattern to nowhere with love.

I could add some physics to the equation but that would make things look even more dismal than they already do on Planet Sole.

I have decided to jump ship and float back to reality.

Love sucks, it does not exist, and I am longing for home alone on earth.

I was a thousands leagues under water and drowning in bullshit.

I have bubbled up to the surface and its sandy beaches and margaritas on my own this spring break.

The Blonde is an island!!

I'm Sporting Double Ds

...and not in a good way.

I just scored another D on my french exam. I am two for two on the Ds.

If I were referring to plastic surgery, I would have the prettiest matching pair of double Ds this side of the french quarter.

I have had about all I can take with losing 2 points on my exam for every little missing accent over the e.

Accent grav

Circum flex

Vlah de francais de blah!!!

It isn't that I don't know the rules.

Never two infinitives together!

You can't have aller with a past participle unless your crazy!

'Y' is not a where but a preposition that needs a conjugated verb and in absence of that, place before the infinitive.

How stupid can one be not to understand the rules of french?!

Its so simple!!

Il est facile!!

I think....

Who knows any more.

C'est impossible!

Maybe some English tunes will inspire...

Conductor..a 'D' note please!!

Tutor in the morning, Tutor in the evening...

Tutor at supper time...

la la laaaa

la la

If I can't learn french, I am toast and my law degree is slime!!

F&$#@

la dee da da daaaaaaa!

I would like a life beyond etudier pour francais classe!!!!!


The Blonde is about to F U this course!!

My Car Screams Loser!

I have a 95 jaguar vanden plas that I am not bragging about. The car looks like it got caught in a can opener on the right side and riddled by rubber bullets on the other side.

The trunk paint was fading so I glued a rubber bike matt on to hide the paint fade but it eventually whipped off in the wind and my long haired coon cat used it as a bathing salon one summer leaving fur glued permanently to the trunk hood.

Some days, I can get by not getting upset about the look of this once pretty car but on other days, especially when passing by all the nice new euro cars in the neighborhood, I have to just hold my head up high and act like I don't care just so I wont cry about it.

The one side was completely scraped off by two separate downtown instances involving too small a space and two giant asshole Texas trucks blocking my way.

I hope gas gets to $4 and their giant fuel traps consume mountains of expensive ethanol.

Anyhoo,

I was going to wash it today but what's the point. All I will do is see more of the disaster under the dirt.

Don't get down
Don't get down
Don't get down....

Oops...too late.
Thanks big yellow ferarri for driving by my car.

Made me feel great, not!

The Blonde is trying not to lose it!

Starving to Sell NOAH Vegan

http://us.ebid.net/for-sale/noah-vegan-italian-eco-style-handbag-brown-39041318.htm



Since I am running out of my designer clothes and handbags to sell, I decided to purchase a pallet of NOAH Vegan handbags to sell on my new ebid.net site.

Ebay fees are killing me. When added up, they are taking 20% of every thing I sell.

And when your a tiny store...


Anyhoo,

I am on ebid.net under burlapbikini now.

I hope I do well enough to maybe eat this week.

I really love these handbags. I like being stylish and knowing

the NO Animal Harmed mantra went into these fabulous totes and bags.


The Blonde is looking to save herself and Mother Earth!!

I Don't Play Puppet

...to someone who wants a relationship with no strings attached.

And anyone looking for a long distance relationship, is in fact, only looking for a no strings attached relationship.

I have had my fill of these go no where, try to tug at your heart, bologne affairs.

I have no time.

I have no patience.

I have reached my entertainment value zenith.

I am happy, man-out of the game.

Maybe, I should apply to BYU just to get my 'no man' game on in full gear.

Yeah, right!!

Let's be serious...

I think BYU found an unsuspecting victim to pull their own agenda and they are targeting a key player to pull in media.

Where is Jesse Jackson when you need him?

Everyone gets played; let's hope the key players tugging at the strings of the innocent get to pay their karmic dues soon.

The Blonde will yank hard on her own!!

White Dildo Goes Balistic

I went to school and as usual had to look for parking. I was excited to find one adjacent to my building.

I stopped normally, noticed someone behind me and as a good will gesture, rolled down my window and signaled with my hand for them to go around so they would not have to wait for me to do a uy-ee.

All of the sudden I heard loud forceful yelling.

I look behind me and there, right behind me, is a giant plastic didlo screaming at me to move.

OK....

First, you giant plastic dildo...I have to ask what compelled you to buy a white cruiser bike and white helmet?

Did Mommie not let you play with CHIPs action figures when you were young?

Do you have a secret crush on Eric Estrada?

Then I have to ask myself....

Do you really expect me to listen to your freakness?

Ahhh.. that would be a big 10-NO!!!

I stuck my head out the window to say I was trying to park but this road rage prig was too busy playing psycho dialogue in his head.

He finally went around.

And then, some biatch parked in my place.

At this point, it was too funny, I was too tired to care, and I had bigger things on my plate...

stll, I was gonna say something...

I waited for her to get out of her car.

"I was waiting for that spot. Did you not see my blinker on and the psycho behind me screaming because I stopped in the middle of a campus road for that spot?"

She says, "Oh gosh, no..."

Why I expected her to respect her surroundings will lead into my next story about college idiots.

OK so I say,

"What ever..It's a pretty day and I need to walk off the double douche I just got, anyway."

I go up the street and the giant plastic dildo is following me.

At this point, I don't have time to play and so I simply put my arm out the window with my phone in hand and tell the giant dildo I called the police.

Of course like any real prick without balls, he took off!!!


The Blonde is tired of playing without balls!!

Crashed And Burned

I wrote one absolute brilliant essay for my applications to school, clicked on the save button, said good night to my lap top and closed the lid.

In the morning, when I got up and was refreshed, I was going to proof my essay and send it out to my chosen schools.

I opened the laptop lid.

Turned it on.

The dark blue abyss screen with white cold fonts taunting me.

"Fatal error Blondie, corrupt driver, kiss your essay goodbye."


I wish I had more to say but I don't.


The Blonde is burnt out!!!

Pump Up the Volume

because the noise doesn't bother my focus any mo'.

French is kicking my little hiney and I had to go to extreme measures to battle Napolean.

I had to resort to evil pharmaceuticals!

Everyone knows how I feel about these degenerate behemoth drug pushers. But I was about to fail out of class because the pace, the way its taught----it was leading to utter disaster. I had to do the unthinkable. I had to start pill popping my way through one of Boo's old concerta bottles that has been sitting collecting dust for a few years.

I can understand why.

Holy Speed Freak, Batman.

Get me off this speed train.

I didn't sleep for two days.

I couldn't talk for two days.

I was just this mute worker bee.

I can't imagine what it must feel like to a 5 year old kid.

I had to cut the pill down 4 times before it worked without speed freak side effects.

I was tinkering all night long with little things.

I now know why speed freaks have aluminum foil made into little figures in their homeless shant.

Now that I am back to normal taking baby pieces of the concerta, I finally aced a quiz in french. I was finally able to muffle out the other conversations and concentrate on the one with my partner.

Just as soon as this semester is over; I am off this cerebellum pump juice.


This Blonde is on brain steriods!!

I Have Been my Biggest Failure

I wish it was an epiphany but its not.

I have lived in fear for all my life and its time to shed the burden.

Drop the load.

Leave it all behind and go.

Don't ask where.

Don't plan.

Just get in that packed car and go.

I would like to blame all this on me being an idiot but unfortunately, I am not privy to that title.

But what I am privy to is a verbal certificate that came stamped and on my birth certificate and played like a broken record.

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

'LIFE ISN'T FAIR'

Its taken me half a life time to break that record.

The Blonde doesn't see that stamp anymore.!!!

Working It!

I am working, working, working....

and studying, studying, studying...

French is kicking my arse but I will get it. I am putting several hours a day trying to learn this language. Heck, I barely slide with an English tongue.

But Napolean the french teacher will keep me on my toes. Its amazing how much you want to prove yourself to someone who just rolls his eyes at your effort.

Anyhoo, on a happier note....

My online selling is doing awww---ight!! I don't know why I find that a shocker, but I do, sometimes. Maybe, cuz being successful at something has not always been my stronger suit, but I guess a Blonde just has to find her nitch.

Mine happens to be fashion. Designing, creating, shopping and reselling...LOVE IT ALL!!

I am also about to get kicking in high gear on my creativity. I have tons of fabric sitting around going vintage on me. Crazy the cost of notions at Joann Fabrics but so much fun to shop and the killer bags I am about to launch on my Etsy store will be fab.

Interested in an array of goods from me...Check out my ad to the left.

Anyhoo,

On the love side of my life.

Its actually just as shocking and fabulous. I have found my nitch in the love department as well.

A little older but not too much. Handsome and sweet as a button and from out of Texas.

No more Texas men for me. They just don't fit in my style but a cute Doctor from the North fits tighter than a boy scout slip knot.

The Blonde is working her mojo!!

Blonde I hear You Calling

but I just can't love right now.

Maybe in a few more hours...

Maybe in a few more years...

Oh Blonde I hear you calling but I can't come dry your tears...

I am always somewhere else...

and your always there alone...

Oh Blonde, I hear you calling...

du

du

du

but....du.....du...du......

This song might have planted the wrong message in my love life and I guess I am done listening ot it.

Hear is to new lyrics, new melodies, and a new love.

The Blonde will sing her own tune now!

KISS Unplugged - Beth (HD)

Its the first song I ever committed to memory. It was on the B side of my sisters 45 and I never forgot it.

Only one can be the Blonde's first!!

Pay it Forward

Every once in a blue moon, I get a little voice that says do something kind even if it hurts your pocket book.

We rarely come across super nice people, on the internet or any where else, and so not to listen to my little voice would be like saying, I don't believe in humanity and its ultimate kindness.

An opportunity arose to build a random act of niceness and I grabbed ahold of it like it was my last blonde hair before the grey ghosts creep in to steal it and force me to recognize my aging.

I wanted to do something small that would mean something nice in someone else's world.

So I gave away a pair of Prada loafers just because a person I never met, nor will ever meet, was just too damn nice not to appreciate them.

Life is full of people who pass us by and not give a second thought as to whether they should even offer a smile.

My Prada loafers were not a big deal. It wont feed the hungry. They won't clothes a family.

But they will, in this one small instance, give faith to an anonymous entity that shopped on my Ebay store , that sometimes, for no reason at all, we should believe that good karna is an attribute and it will be returned in kind to those who believe in being nice.

And Karna comes with no strings attached.

I am sure she will find it crazy and wonder what was behind it. But, honestly, I have nothing I want other than to say thank you for being such a kind person.

The Blonde is happily drunk on kindness!!

Kill them with Kindness

I have been selling on Ebay for awhile and I really do love selling something, wrapping it up in pretty paper and sending a little part of me to someone in another neck of the country.

I tried to go international and sold a Dolce and Gabbana skirt to a femme in the Czech Republic. She sent a return notice saying there were holes in the skirt.

I know for a fact there were no holes. It could have happened in transit but now I am stuck giving back a refund including shipping, both ways, just to keep my ranking at 100%.

What I am afraid of is the cultural differences that are applied to selling my ebay wears to someone in the slavic communities as opposed to selling to someone in my home world down south.

The austere email from Oksanana seems to me she isn't going to appreciate my killing her with kindness just to keep my 100% satisfied status no matter how far out of the way I go.

Hopefully she will just not comment.

Cross your fingers.

Or maybe, I am too western world in my thinking and not everyone on the other side of the atlantic or pacific is a douche.

The Blonde is in a Nordstrom state of play!!

Its a Soon Forgotten Holiday

I know exactly when it happened.

I knew the minute I asked.

"May I call him and make him my friend?"

Sure is all he said.

His face said more.

It was our end.

And

I wanted that end.

Now its here.

I feel it.

It's odd.

I didn't think I would feel anything.

But I do.

I feel a loss.

But its only a feeling... And it will soon die...

Goodbye Stupid Cupid...

Its our last year with bad targets.

I will shoot myself next time.

Happy Valentine's to all those forgotten loves!!

La Roux - Bulletproof (Abbey Road Sessions)

Hidden Deductions and Credits

I have to say for me filing taxes is an easy affair. I go to TurboTax and they walk me through the process like I was playing Candy lane with old friends.

And the fact I am a student making no reportable income, I win the Candy game.

Its really more like winning things back. Like the extra cost my school pads in the bill.

School books, lab, parking, extra large creamy latte foamies!!

And do not tell me coffee is not a huge requirement to get through classes.

Plus, I should get a senior citizen discount in higher education for being the most ancient chick in the class.

On a positive note...I am of consenting age to work with my better looking Professors in private tutoring on Fridays for a better grade.

Anyhoo,

Grand Uncle Sam has been a pretty good refund Daddy although, he could be a little better but no complaints.

I don't like to look a gift horse in the mouth, especially when its a regift from my own pocket!!

The Blonde feels your filing pain!!!

Valentino Day is Coming

and I had know idea, how expensive card giving has become. I don't mind paying $3 for a card but at least put some thought into what is on the card. One card I picked up had a crudely drawn supposedly sexy femme on the front; quite frankly the arms and legs looked like she was whipping about in a palsey moment.

Anyhoo, and moving on...

the inside of the card simply said, "You know you love me". Stalkers will be shocked to know that this piece of card stock will set them back minus $3.99 for their medication.

And were moving along the isle

To the Whole Food granola crowd; already aware of the high price to keep the world a better and cleaner environment, it will not be a super shocker to learn that their little bamboo blended card will set them back $4.59

You need a little more green for your chubby cherub heart cards to stay in the green zone.

and even further down the half an isle section of happy heart day cards, we finally get to the piece de resistance...

tadah...

The singing cards. Actually, the one I picked up shouted. The song "You make me Wanna Shout" will make you want to scream for some debt relief at a whopping $6.99.

What did the Blonde pick?

The obnoxious cat cards.

Yes.

The cards written by cats for their owners. Funny, clever, and a lot of smart ass. For $2.59, how can you pass up a kitchy little kitty saying how idiotic can a human be for buying a card to give themselves but actually its from the cat.

See how how its clever for the cat?

He doesn't have to shop for the card.

I bought four of those.

All in all, I walked out of Target with $30 worth of sweet nothings. Believe me, at 30 smack-a-roos...it was something.

A dent in my change purse but come Valentine's Day, it will be well worth it.

Especially knowing I am the blonde and no matter where I look in the world on Valentine's Day; I know its the men that really get zapped on this holiday.

Don;t get me started on the price of roses!!!

Happy Heart hunting at Halmark!!!

When Life is Poetry

Love is the only thing we can not control.

The Blonde is not alone!!

Aloha Hawaii

AloNo I can't go!!

I and the Commodore were planning our next trip together and I was all set for Hawaii until the dates changed and I had to do the responsible thing and turn down the trip.

I have an exam in french and there are no re-takes on the darn thing.

I guess this is where I begin to think why bother with a long distance relationship. You hardly see the person and they are wide open to find other woman to fill the absence.

Woman that have a nice bank roll either from working or from a nice divorce settlement who have the time to take off for such fun eventures will eventually get my spot.

Me, I am a struggling non-traditional pre-law student without a Gucci handbag to cry into.

If things work out with the Commodore, great..if they don't..well, let's just say, that I am very used to the 'fizzle out' theory in long distance dating.On the bright side; I do have a Louis Vuitton global shopper I found at the pawn shop to carry my woes in for awhile.

But that too will eventually find its way on Ebay to keep my monthly bills paid.

I guess I am throwing this little pity party lately because I spent way too much time looking at the meager efforts of online dating. I have passed the age of popular searches from the penis packing club, no matter how old they are and its just not a sort way to see the reality of the dating world accurately.

I really think the bar scene is coming back for the whole reason that ageism and gold digging have supplied the dating sites with negativity.

I took my profile down awhile ago and have sunk into the belief that its just going to be me from now on.

Its alright; I am looking at the blonde side.

Eventually I will be a lawyer and will have all I need to carry on a lifestyle with some pups hovering around the cougar den!!

I am too old to where a wedding dress anyway!!

Well. back to studying!!

The Blonde says helo-ha backwards!!

A bit about Girlfriends

Girlfriends can be your friend and they can be your worst enemy.

Mine usually fall under the latter.

What I once thought of as advice, now seems more adverse in commentary.

Take for instance Cinderella.

I haven't really had much contact with her in a very long time. We hooked back up after a decade of hiatus on facebook and her antics are still the same.

Really?

Have you not matured or changed direction in your friendly advice after all this time?

I post pics of my new beau, of who she knows nothing about, and she simply posts, "You can do better."

Really?

How could I possibly do better than a man that really cares for me beyond the simple fact that I am arm candy on his side.

I have been there and done that more than a few, and quite frankly, I was left in the dust when it really counted. This guy 'whom I could do better' would never leave me stranded at the beach without calling someone ASAP to get me out of the sand.

This man, 'whom I could do better' would never, not give me a gift on my birthday because I expected one. As a matter of fact, he would go out of his way to give me a gift, even if no special day occurred.

He would do it simply because he really wants to see me happy.

What kind of friend tells me, I could do better when she has no idea of the plethora of arse I have been susceptible to in the past?

She sees a pic of a handsome man on facebook with me and she reverts to the time we were in high school together.

Always finding fault with someone I really want.

Knowing she doesn't like him, means I am on the right track to being with the man I really should be with.

Thank you for all your advice but this time, I am flying solo.

And when I fly solo, I am always on the right path.

I just didn't realize it until now!!

The Blonde is steering clear of friendly advice!

Married People Do Not See

... the world like single peeps do; or maybe they do and I am just super critical and harsh of all that I see, in my particular spot of the world.

Texas.

Yeeha...not!!

When I meet friends for drinks, I like to be in the more stylish part of town. When I get dragged to the part of town that hosts rednecks and beer bellies, I am one very unhappy little blonde.

I don't want to sit and see fat married couples or fat single people, or fat anything. I don't want to see haggard faces, unstylish clothes, and general ick.

Married people don't see the crowd, in the same way, because they aren't looking for potential mates. They keep their backs to the crowd, while the singles have eyes turned out onto the scene.

And when a blonde mistakenly ventures outside her designated 8 mile radius from downtown, to the outskirts of Austin's more country-ish side, its some serious fugly on the scenery.

I am a city snob.

The country is for couples to enjoy on the weekends.

Not for stylishly single blondes to go out for happy hour at the hot new tex-mex bar.

When you move me outside of my city parameters, especially in Texas, it gets ugly.

Fashion is not a staple in this part of the world.

If I wear my Tommy Hillfiger boots in Dallas or New York, I am getting praise. If I wear them in Austin,, some chunky texas jackhole makes hooker references.

Honestly, if you have never been outside of your home state or travelled outside the country, you should just keep your little redneck trap shut and stick to commenting on football and friday nights special at your local Chilis.

I am pledging never to go outside the style safety perimeter I have zoned 'Blonde Safe' in Austin, ever again!!

The Blonde can't bear to look anymore!!

The Breaking of Falling In Love

We worry that our love is unrequited.

We worry that love will not be returned at the same rate, time, or level.

There is nothing we can do after it begins to happen.

The best we can do to protect ourselves is to halt it.

Wage war against our own heart because of fear.

Unfortunately...

We might lose the takings of that war.

Fear settles us on small battles, with others that have no interest in loving us.

So what are we to do?

Fall and worry about new wounds and scars?

or....

Shy away from that edge?

I have no answers.

I am not Tsen Su and I do not believe he, the master of war, would have any answers toward love either.

I am not a guru any more than anyone else is.

At one time, I thought it was better to fall a thousand times in love and break, and heal, and look again, than it is to live cold, stark, and sternly against the whole notion of something that is not finite.

But now...

I believe...

In the same, but...

In baby steps,

toward the edge...

and falling, and being afraid, and thinking maybe this time I won't break because someone will be there to catch my fall.

What can I say?

I am a hopeless romantic.

I do not suggest this route for all.

You must be brave and foolish and have hope beyond hope in order to survive the journey of the hopelessly incurable.

The hopeless romantic understands that pain and suffering beyond what most are willing to endure will eventually bare the fruit of the forbidden tree.

The tree that few ever get to.

Love is worth so much more than just finding comfort in another.

The Blonde will face her fears!!!

My Favorite Part of a Man

The part I dig the most about my new beau is the part of him that shows how much he really likes me.

Its amazing how much one person can make you feel so good about yourself.

I think the only man who ever did that for me was me ex but since he took my house, the part of him that was nice will never count again.

I fell settled, happy and quite frankly relieved that I do not have to partake in an all out online beau-fest search for a new BF.

I can sit back and study this semester and work on feeding my educational goals with selling my clothing wares online which is a heck of a lot mo' fun than pitching one's self on a dating site to every Tom, Dick, and, Harry, well, let's face it, a lot more dicks than Toms and Harrys.

The Blonde is happy with all of it!!

Damn the Buttery Soft Leather Boot

Another over-the-knee boot pulled at my heart strings and my wallet. I had to have the Steve Madden Sabra boot.

I love them and I don't care if this puts me behind the black line.

Every once in a while some garment or shoe or boot will catch my fancy and after being so frugal year round, I just have to bust out that carde de credite and splurge on myself.

After all, I deserve them.

And my man deserves to see me in them.

Speaking of the new man...We had a blast in Aspen and although with each new guy, my guardrail is a little higher, this one seems to be the best of the lot.

I have to admit I am inching into better and better territory with every new man I score.

BUT

and that's a big but...

its still new and a hidden freak or foe may come out eventually.

I will give it another 3 months and if its still golden, I will still be cautious.

I am not letting my guard down for a second.

These days the only thing I can count on are my boots and they are made for walking out of anything and anyone at anytime.

The Blonde is putting her foot down!!

Aspen 2011

The Blonde loves to play ski bunny!!

New Year, New Ground 2011

Its the New year and a whole slew of new men to accomplish.

But I am looking for a particular man this time and the run of the mill man won't do.

I want the right age, the right look, the right lifestyle. 'Right' meaning that someone who will compliment me, be compatible with my lifestyle.


I am not going for men over a certain age. Quite frankly, men aren't holding up like Paul Newman did.
Seriously, look at the Baldwin band, Brad Pitt looks haggard from Jolie fatigue, and Johnyy Depp brings a whole new NO to face lifts.

Honestly, its gut galore on anyone over 50. No wonder women start looking at the wallet. The pudgier the wallet, the more slender the man may appear.

I guess its like the man version of getting boob implants. Women know their ass is spreading a little each year so to offset the poundage, they get bigger breasts to stay in proportion.

Men's guts get bigger every year and to offset there belly pudge, an even pudgier bank role will make their buddha glory seem slimmer.


I am also shaking off my skirt hem, the plethora of non-commital long distance booty calls I have cherished in the past. I have a law degree to obtain and due to a few out of town visits, my GPA grossed only a 3 .0 for the semester.

I can't have that.

So this spring semester, I am bringing on a mileage curfew. Only those willing to set up shop in Austin and visit me in Austin, will be granted face time and with any luck...new booty time with a committed minded soul.


The Blonde has limited hunting ground this year!!

HAPPY F$#@&**N NEW YEARS!!

Party until your panties drop but don't take that drink on the road.


The life you save might be a Blondes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!