The Cover doesn't fit the Novel

As I was leaving my driveway tonight to meet a friend for a drink, a shiny black hummer drove by. I didn't think anything about it until he pulled out of the neighborhood at the other entrance and was in front of me. Another car pulled in between us at another stop up the road and he pulled to the side.

I did take notice that time but I thought to myself, "This dude isn't seeing the whole story. He is just looking at the cover and unfortunately for him it will end up being a bogus advertisement."

I just pulled on past him and let it go.

I am not the picture in his head and if I had stopped for him, he would eventually learn that the book was different from its cover.

I juggle between thinking it is flattery on his part and cruelty on God's part.

At a certain age, I put the fantasy aside for self preservation.

I am reality based these days and I don't falter or bend at the knees in hopes of finding my soul mate or true love.

I find comfort in knowing that I just need to find a reliable relationship with mutual affection.

The problem with fantasy is that you will always look for it, never find it, and end up alone in search of the myth.

At a certain point in life, we all have to become real.

Butterflies and beating hearts are all but a memory inked on the back of our high school notebooks.

Who after the age of 20 even doodle anymore?

Doodling and falling head over heels in love are best left to the next generation.

Generation X is too grown up for me and I am too far behind to catch up.

So to the Hummer I say, "No thanks for the flirt."

The Blonde book cover is fiction!!

God Answered This One

I do believe in God!

He doesn't always answers my prayers but he does answer some.

Today, I have to thank him for answering this one tiny thing.

I sat and asked, almost begged, that he help me find my cat.

After praying I went about finding my cat.

God can throw you an oar but you have to steer the boat.

I posted a picture of Peppy on craigslist and within an hour, people were emailing me that they saw him at the animal shelter. I went to the animal shelter sight and their was a picture of my little guy. He had been their for 5 days.

I thought the worse and hoped for the best.

And I got the hope part of it!!

I lost a cat once before and I begged and prayed and still God did not answer and to this day, I pray that my beloved Mavvie is with a good home. I dare not think of anything else.

I think about the parents that have missing children and how awful a feeling it must be.

Every waking hour spent thinking the best when in reality the worst must be.

And knowing God can't answer every prayer.

I am humbled by this experience and I have much joy but I have sadness for those that are still missing.


The Blonde will pray for the best!!

Holy Cow Its Been An Uber Long Time

since I published to my blog.

As Martha would say, "That's a very good thing."

I haven't had much to vent about lately. Life is pretty smooth in the love department.

I have a new beau. Actually he is a redo from a few years ago.

Timing is everything when it comes to two people of the opposite gender coming together to form a symbiotic happiness.

What happened a few years ago in my memory is one thing and in his memory another. Its something that shouldn't be dwelled upon. For whatever reason, it is working this time and its best not to question it.

Let the chips fall where they may.

In the end, it will either last or it won't.

I just want to enjoy the ride without any predisposed notions of how long it will be before the ticket runs out and the ferris wheel operator, spinning our love life, decides we need to get off.

If I had a gun to my head and someone demanded an answer as to why it is working this time, I would have to say it is because I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay in a committed relationship. I am scared straight when it comes to dating and I am revamping my attitude toward being with this one person.

But in this pursuit to be a half of a whole, I have to wonder? Am I not biting off more of the glass slipper than I can chew without getting cut into a mold that someone else wants me to be.

But when that other half sees me at my best and all he wants is that I continue on the path of being this great person, the glass slipper becomes less of a jagged edge sword, ready to cut on the next trip down, and more of a comfortable fit that will guide my steps into a better world.

A better life.

One that has been waiting for me all this time.

The Prince didn't fall in love with the Cinderella in plain clothes and holding a mop.

The Prince fell in love with the Cinderella that found the courage to be more than what life was telling her she could be.

And so I, like Cinda sista, stopped hiding behind the excuse of a step-sister world and I walked away from mopping up a mess. I stripped myself from the tattered fibers that were holding my life together with an inch of thread and I fabricated myself a new vision out of silk, satin, and ribbons that can support the weight of my new achievements.

And now, the Blonde is ready to dance at the ball!!

Dribble Penetration

I love that word. My newest joy is watching the Mavs kick it on the basketball court. Now that I am bi-city girl and big D is one half of my bi-ness.

I am a Dallas sports fan in the arena of basketball.

Jason Kidd is my man on the team because he is in my age box. He is in my height range requirements and he is darn cute for a bald dude.

Not to mention, he is off the chart good at his game.

He is definitely on my 5 list.

The 5 list consists of five people you would like to shag if you could. They must all be celebrity and out of your league.

Of course I am not one to bang just out of fame.

My list is more about who I would date.

Its fantasy dating.

So far I have Jason Kidd, Robert Downey Jr and my man.

Mr Man from D town.

We tried and bombed a few years ago but timing was right this time around and I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Timing is not everything but it is a huge part of the game.

And so far, I am as good as Jason Kidd on the 3 point line.

I am making every moment count.

The Blonde is on her game!!

Dents, Dinks, and Da Cops

My car is dented and dinked.

My bike is torn and shaved.

And my bank account is bruised and battered by the recession.

And...

Boo and I both got plugged for speeding tickets less than a week apart. I like to think of it as my charitable contribution to the men in blue. Only, this time it was more than I wanted to gift out.

I don't care about it going on my license. I don't care about the money. But I do care a crap load that I am being put through the ringer because I didn't have the insurance card in the car.

I have to call, fax, and sign my first born away to attest I had insurance on the day I was driving.

I have to fax a form to the insurance company. They have to sign and notarize and mail back originals while I have to sign, notarize and deliver in hand to the podunck police station the paperwork.

Seriously?!

I could carry a forged insurance document and be fine when pulled over so I don;t see why all this rig-a-ma-roll is needed other than to piss me off and entertain the bored law enforcements with a gamble game wether or not my lazy ass is going to get it done in time.

I will get it done.

I don't mind the ticket but I do mind the bullshit.

I had the insurance company send them my policy directly but because Boo was driving the car, I have to attest I gave him permission to drive.

I was in the freakin car!!

I am glad Podunk doesn't need to the court time to process real crimes.

I am glad they have time to come up with fun games to occupy there time.

I have the time to play too.

The Blonde is being charitable.

Trek Burns Rubber

and leather after being dragged behind my car.

Blonde needs to strap it on!

My Bike was in a Car Accident

My beloved Trek 7500 with upgraded gear was in a terrible accident today.

After a 26 mile ride in record time, I placed my bike on the rack and headed home. While I was on Mopac just as I hit the bridge before 360, a gust of wind whipped my baby off the rack. Since it was a bridge, there was no shoulder and I couldn't break because of cars behind me...

I had to trail my baby a mile before I could pull over safely.

She is in sad shape. I don't have the heart to put up pictures yet.

Her new pro gel seat is in smithereens.

One of her sleak Bonager rims is warped.

The Shimano gears are f---ed up, I lost my electronic mile counter, and my AIG water bottle from my V.I.P. visit to the U.S. Open was lost along the highway!!

We can rebuild.

We have the technology.

The Blonde will survive!!

My Smart Phone

...won't shut up. I played around with the gadgets on my phone and somehow turned on the voice commands but can't remember what I did to turn it on, so I may turn it off.

I am told in a female frenzy of a voice what time it is at odd times. It has no rhyme or reason. Not hourly or even mid-day, its just random out of the blue telling of time.

She tells me when a call is coming in but I can tell myself by the ring-tone.

My phone tells me I have voice mail although I already have a beep that told me I have it.

Every button I push she repeats out loud what I just did. Its a good thing my phone doesn't dispense tampons so she could announce to the world when I am on a Mother nature week trip.

My phone needs a sexier male voice if it wants to send me little random hints of daytime and that it just went into lock mode.

The Blonde doesn't like talking on her phone!

The Day I Shot Cupid

I am glad to see I am not the only love-aholic on the planet. Seems Jennifer Love Hewitt takes her name to serious literal heights.

I am grabbing my discount version of the book on Amazon.com and I am sure reading Jenny's foibles in love will make mine look like a cakewalk in the park on a glowing spring day. She made some questionable moves regarding her pursuit of men. I personally....

never did a "Say Anything" movie moment with magic markers and poster board but I applaud her enthusiasm for the dramatic.

We all have done some questionable things in the pursuit of love and we should laugh at them. I personally have gone a few extra phone calls and emails past the prime of a broken relationship but it was all in good faith. Its my nature not to give up so easily on love and and I can't sit and feel ashamed at myself for trying a little too hard sometimes.

I have found my place in love and I like where I am at. I have a surprising outcome for second chances just when I thought second chances don't come around.

So to all those lost looking for love and feeling a bit down on the search drag. Keep a chin up, read a little light-hearted literature on the subject and let out a sigh of relief.

Love will come from the most surprising of circumstances. Just commit yourself to love and it will happen.

The Blonde has fallen again!

Butler VS Duke

What a game. I had a hard time deciding who to root for, especially when Butler had the guy with ALS come out to say how proud he was of the team through a letter that was dictated by blinking eyes to his wife and read out loud to the team by her. It really was something!!

Well, the fat lady sang and its over but the game was incredible and the last point with 3 seconds left on the clock probably left Butler stinging a bit. I hope they are still proud of what they accomplished.

I feel pretty accomplished myself these days. I am on the home stretch of school and I am puttering around Dallas for fun times and destiny.

I am bak to believing that fate has already the things in my life stored for me. I thought the psychic was wrong but it turns out, he might just be right.

I think I am on the path that was laid out before me the one time I sat down for a psychic reading along time ago.

I can breathe deep knowing that everything is going to sail me into the exact life with the exact person I was meant to be with.

There is still the chance that my destiny is going to play out and I don;t want to jinx it with any talk of what is going on right now but just know its incredibly awesome and I am superbly pleased.

The Blonde got game!!

Housewives of NYC

I just watched the preview of Kelly Bensimon flirting with the journalist from Playboy. She is so nervous and acts so goofy its almost embarrassing to watch if it were not just as harming as hell.

I think its the first time they show Kelly not being somewhat moronic. Of course I am speaking of her stand on fur. Wearing or not wearing fur has nothing to do with being American. And PETA is totally against fur and fur trade because of the heinous butchering treatment of the animals.

I have a rabbit fur scarf that on occasion I wear. I bought it at a second hand store but still I think about PETA every time I wear it, which is not often, and then I donate to an animal right cause.

Anyhoo,

Kelly had her pics done for Playboy and yes at 41, its a big deal to be asked but just for the record, a crap load of airbrushing is going on.

I look at Kelly and think her body looks older than 41.

And so to the point.

Don't wear fur unless its faux.

DROWN YOUR BODY IN SUNSCREEN.

You can tone muscle, you can fix cellulite but sun damage is a forever bitch.

And...

Put down the white wine!!

There is a reason why white wine's nickname is 'ripple'. It ripples the mid section and toxifies the body with more sugar than a can of coke.

Sugar ages the skin almost as badly as sun damage.

The Blonde SPFs on a daily basis.

Where have the years gone?

I started my day studying for french class and out of the blue it turned into an education in genealogy.

I am not one to fall prey to paying for services that I can use for free, legally.

So when my Mother badgered me on information regarding her relatives, whether imagined or not, I made the mistake of putting my help stick in the pond only to be engulfed by the flood of conjecture, theory, and ultimately finding myself in a wild goose chase.

I knew better.

I swore the day my Mother called 911 to report that terrorists were trying to blow up access to her neighborhood based on her finding a broken glass coke bottle attached to re-barb in the run-off tunnels that I would no longer fall victim to her conspiratory agenda.

I was wrong.

Like a serial killer, that neighbors swear by their charm, my Mother snaked me into another one of her never ending history challenging agendas.

All because of an old shoebox of photos that I had mistakenly opened in her midst.

From there it was just a matter of time before she wore me thin and dangly like a Guantanamo Bay detainee.

I was stuck googling for hours just to spare my Mother the fee of genealogy sites that offer nothing more than a conglomeration of free stuff on the web and inaccurate at best.

The problem I have with Ancestry. com and other Internet sites like them, is the idea that they are selling free stuff.

Its re-gifting at its worst.

Its Internet Salvation Army goods sold at a premium cost.

All the records Ancestry.com sells to you for 12.99 a month, is free and more reliable using Google search.

Google 'Ellis Island' and find that you can get the records for free, directly.

The Mormons say they have the records salvaged from Germany before WWII but they don't offer it on the Internet. You have to microfiche for it some other way. And when you do go fiching in Mormon archives, you will find yourself in shallow water.

Take the time to Google or Bing for free.

Paying for services like Ancestry.com is like getting advice on what book is worth reading from Oprah!!

The Blonde is taking time to kill the cost of free enterprises!!

I Am Pleased with the Anti Christ

Its almost too hysterical that some people believe Obama to be the Anti Christ but in the bible belt... they do. Well, if social reform, helping people get proper health care, cutting out the middle man, and making an higher education affordable, than sign me up on the wrong side of the cross.

Bring down the wall of old and bring in a wave of new ideas. A Utopian society, we will never achieve. People are simply not taught that helping the whole, actually helps the individual.

What is so wrong with helping the little guy?

I am a little guy and I am not so bad.

I am uninsured but no one pays my medical bills. I do. And I have a hard time paying triple the amount to let a few others piggy back off of me. So if I can share the load with my neighbor, and he with me, why not?

We all are already paying for those who don't pay and that includes the insurance companies that wiggle out of paying off medical debt that they rightfully should pay on behalf of an individual's policy.

Socialist health care is not an evil set to destroy the masses.

Its just a tiny step toward humanity.

Bye Bye Bottle Baby

I used to enjoy a bottle of wine every Friday. I no longer do that. I prefer maybe one glass of wine and that is it. I guess I am just super tired of it. After all, its been a few years of nursing my wine through an evening alone at home.

It was an old habit, leftover from a former boyfriend, and it was time to break it.

After going on date after date where the men just drank until the barrel ran dry, I looked at myself and thought....I don;t want to be like that. Nor do I want to be with someone who is like that. Not that they were bad people but drinking like there is no tomorrow is better left to the Spring Break crowd.

Along with not drinking comes the loss of my Nat Sherman habit as well. I rarely smoke these days and my lungs appreciate the cleaner air they enjoy. I will still enjoy the occasional puff filled fabulousness but it doesn't quite taste the same as when accompanied by a glass of vino.

In the end, life changes aren't so hard. Its as simple as saying....I have had enough and I am not going to take it anymore. Once small changes are made, larger ones begin and for the better.

I am at the preverbal turning point in my blonde bubble. Not to say it could burst and rain on my parade but for now...I am dancing to a new tune and I love it.

The Blonde is only sippy cup away from being her best!!

Stupid People Suck

I want it on a big bumper sticker so the next time I drive through a Sears drive-in battery replacement center...the men that work there will see it albiet get the correlation because they are STUPID!!

Seriously, I went to get a battery replaced and I went inside with the battery sans the car...the Saab wouldn't fit through the door.

Anyhoo,

Stupid sears salesman who is not a mechanic and has no common sense couldn't just look at the battery I just handed to him to replace it with one just like it. He insisted he needed to know the make of the car. I said "No you don't".

He said 'the system will have to tell me'.

I said, "You can't just look at the battery and give me a new one the same size and with the same post placements".

"The system has to tell me".

I said "But don't you have another system, one where you can look at the battery and turn around and look at the wall of batteries behind you and find an identical?"

"No Ma'am".

I and my old battery left on principle. The problem with giving them the make of a foreign car, it inevitably brings up the most expensive battery and nay lists a cheaper alternative. If you go to Wal-Mart they will look in the system and tell you they don't have a battery for SAAB or Jaguar.

Its not in their system.

But the batteries are on the shelves behind their stupidness.

We went to O'Reilly's. They use the old fashion 'system' of knowing what they are doing.

I had a 'system' argument once before at a Home Depot. I went to buy two french doors at 219$ a piece but the register rang it up as $2.19. I said there must be a mistake and the guy at the register and his manager looked at the doors and then looked at the receipt and simply, stupidly said "Nope, if its in the system , it has to be right"

The Blonde won't argue with stupidity!!

Under Control

Now that I have my man situation under control, I have nothing else to say about the matter. So it seems we are back to the blonde bitch fest this blog has been known for in the past.

My first bitch of the month, now that the weather has been fair to fab, is the inability of fat people and dog walkers to stay to the right of the hike and bike trails.

While I commend healthy walking habits, I have to give the bigger girls a failing grade for having to bring two of their chubby comrades to join them in the walk and leaving about six inches to the left to circumvent my bike around them.

On top of that I am dealing with double dog walkers who leave the leash loose enough for the dog to get caught up in my bike spokes if I dare continue my ride at regular speed. I spend most of my time at a snail pace just to get by without taking a nose dive.

I am thinking about buying some magic markers and poster board and put a few signs that remind the hefty crew and the doggie duds to keep to their side for other serious runners and biker's safe passage.

Why I am at it, a few signs reminding the pooch set to carry their ziploc doggie waste bags, would be another positive way of telling people to have some f--g manners.

One girl on a bike had the right idea.

She had a bell.

It was a pleasant way of saying, "Get the f-- out of my way!"

I am going to have to get me a bell.

Only my bell will have a little more oomph in the meaning.

I am thinking of an air horn for my bell.

Blondes on a bike may not have the right of way but we should.

The Blonde likes it when everyone is right!!

I Am Like Barbara Streisand

I keep saying I am over posting to the blog but something catches my fancy and I must.

Daily Horoscope: February 26, 2010

You're committed to one person -- but it might not be a romantic thing! Your ability to build strong relationships extends to all areas of life, so expect this to last quite a long time for you both.

On the eve of my more pragmatic decision's in love, I thought this horoscope fit perfectly into my agenda.

Although I disagree that romance is not a part of it!

The Blonde will not sing a lonely ballad!

I am Not 3D

You don't have the special glasses and the insight to see beyond me.

Don't try to see past what you are not supposed to.

I am not an Avatar from Ferngully's new CGI film. You will not get any more in depth than what I write on this blog. This blog is only a canvas and only for the part of me that I am willing to share.

It may seem like I share a lot but I share a far lot less than you get.

I am not brave enough to put all of me on here.

I do let you grab at a glimpse of me if you are an avid fan and know that I post many things that are taken down just a few hours later during the early weekend mornings when I can not sleep.

I have very few of you left these days.

It feels almost like the last song of the dance in high school.

The song is almost over. The dance is about to end...

I am going to leave this gymnasium and wonder who I should have danced with...

And would that dance have changed my course....

And than I think...

My course was set long ago and everything leading up to this moment was only a tease and a branch blocking the road until I found my way into the right path.

Into the life I was meant to have.

It was a lovely dance.

But it must end...

Mr DeMille, the Blonde is ready for her close up!

No Study Break

Won't be anytime soon. I am trying to get ahead of my studies for traveling.

I had a fabulous time in D-town but I am keeping it in hush mode since I don't want to jinx any future fabulousness.

I will get back to you in a few!!

The Blonde is seriously busy!

Viva La Francais Etudie

I almost do not know what to do with myself now that I have a break from studies. I just finished my french test and other than screwing up on the exception to the rules of conjugations, I did well.

Hopefully the extra credit for drawing my cat will take care of my conjugation mishap.

Of course that mishap isn't half as stupid as handing over a Jackson yet to another hideous dating site.

Playing around on facebook, I thought the Zoosk ( I guess zooks was taken) app was free so I profiled myself again.

Big mistake.

Its scarier than a myspace dating site.

I should have known better to meet someone for sushi who in the first few minutes of phone conversation gave a life history of drugs, rehab, and divorce from a Tabasco heir.

Every true southerner knows Lousiana Gold is the pepper sauce to go with.

Anyhum,

I am thinking about revisiting some ex's instead of looking for new love. The great thing about them, is that I already know their inner freak. I experienced their flaws and to tell you the truth, I think I can live with most of them....

If I really try!

Let's see...

Who would be on my list:

The most perfect boyfriend, EVER, but married.

The media heir with his prescription pill filled drawers.

The avante garde traveler with bi-coastal pads but no home.

The musician in a band with a slight cocaine problem.

The viagra addicted southern charmer.

For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...

Its such a big decision.

I might need Bob Barker's spinning wheel for a fun filled decision breaker.

I do have one more option.

A Maryland man with some crazy notion that we might work out.

At least I haven't met him yet. There is still hope.

The Blonde is an educated idiot!

First Date of The Year

Ichiban in Austin isn't the Ichiban in New Orleans but my NOLA dj date was pretty cool except that I think he is a little too fresh out of rehab and divorce for me.

I wish the sushi would have been as fresh.

He also didn't tell me he had a girlfriend in New Orleans until after his phone went off about 7 times. An ex playboy bunny who probably had the sixth sense to know her man was on a date.

Ahhh...you gotta love the date with a frog.

You need them for comparison so you know when a Prince of a man comes along.

I think the little reptile might have been high, too!

So much for rehab.

Its funny, I spent longer to get ready for the date than I actually spent on the date. I would have loved to wash the date down with some saki, while he tried to explain the 'girlfriend' thing, but I don't drink during the week and really just wanted to get home.

I did learn his bunny likes popping pills....

That was a fun little fact.

Anyhoo,

Back to my french studies and the thought of New Orleans with a better flavor!

The Blonde needs last call!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Lonley Hearts and Downtrodden

The Blonde has a huge reserve of love!!

Is it a case of VD...

or did I contract something today?

Seriously!!

I was happy today. I didn't have a thought of any man in my head.

I put on my old engagement ring, right hand, and just smiled at how pretty it is.

It may seem superficial to admire a sparkly thing but if you knew the story behind it, you would see its not superficial at all. But there are some stories you do not share. I learned that a long time ago and my pretty little ring reminds me of that every time I see it shine and sparkle at me.

I put everything in the past, everything from yesterday back.

Valentine's means so much more to me than Xmas or New Years put together.

Its a holiday that celebrates nothing more than love. It celebrates new love, old love, and the possibility of love. And why, I may seem a bit re-morsed with my Cupids, I do really love it.

Its a celebration of all who have made it through the dark and light and still together.

Its a calling card of hope for those that started to fade on the idea of love.

For nothing more than a few flowers, a bit of chocolate, and a silly card can send a lifetime of sentiment to someone.

On account of Valetine,I was warm and fuzzy and forgetful today.

I forgot my student ID when I went to take my test.

I forgot my scarf when I went home to get my ID.

And I forgot about the last guy I went out with.

Well....

I got my ID

I got my scarf

I got an A on my test

and I went shopping for my loved ones.

I dressed up like I was going for a romantic lunch date and I went to the Godiva kiosk for the chocolate. I have to go back tomorrow because I am not the only one who forgets on Valentine. The salesperson forgot to place one of the boxes in my bag.

Even with one less chocolate sentiment, I was still happy and I called and we worked it out for me to pick up my forgotten box of chocolates in the morning.

I went to the card store and it seemed picked over so I went to my local grocery. There I was on the phone with my newly engaged friend and listening to him brag about his Valentine events.

While I listened intently to him, I looked at the stock of cards and they had little to offer.

I left the grocery emtpy handed, smiling, happy to go to another store and then...

and then...

Out of the blue this SUV. I wouldn't have thought about it other than the gold emblem but as I glimpsed and walked on to my car it made some very awkward moves.

The driver seemed to be in a panic.

I do not see why?

Maybe it might have been someone I went out with a few times and was told he wasn't interested. He had found someone else.

Pehaps she was in the SUV with him.

Perhaps he thought I would try to say hello.

Well, I wouldn't have.

A Blonde can only take so much rejection.

I have my pride.

I would have done exactly what I did when I saw him the minute I walked out of the grocery.

I ignored him and went to my car.

For a minute he did put a huge damper on my day.

To think someone would go through all that trouble to avoid me.

Ouch~~~That really hurt.

And on my Happy Valentine Day.

The Blonde isn't a basket case!

Where Is Cupid?

Cupid Isn't Calling

Sex In The City

Today I sat down to lunch and got caught up in the movie "Sex In The City". I watched the hurdles and triumphs that love creates and endures until finally, in Hollywood fashion, a fairy tale ending closed the film.

Love isn't a fairy tale. I bought into to the Cinderella story like millions of women have but as we grow older and wiser, we put the silly notions of the glass slipper in the back of our closet next to the shoebox of old photos from a time gone by.

I still would like to hope for the fairy tale even when I know it won't be all caviar, castles, and a prince. As long as I get the love part right, I will be happy. Unfortunately the men in my dating arena are past silly Prince Charming antics and look at finding a partner with the same pragmatic style as they do in buying their socks.

I can only speak for myself but I never found love on the internet because love is for the young and fabulously foolish. I started too late. By the time I started to look all the men had already got caught up in a tale that ended unhappily. They pushed their glass loafer further and further into the closet just like everyone else who grows up and doesn't have a free pass to Never, Never Land.

I never got my fairy tale and I hope its not too late.

I personally, am keeping my glass slipper near to my toe.

Someone has the other slipper and if I stop now, who knows who will get my fairy tale.

All I know is love doesn't live in a vacuum and the internet is a terrible succubus of hope for the Cinderella hold outs like me.

Maybe one day I will be walking Central Park in the spring and trip over a dog leash and my handsome Prince will be there to take my hand and we live happily ever after.

And maybe one day, I will push that slipper all the way back in my closet but for now...

The Blonde loves unbelievable romance!

SuperBowl Sunday

So its here

Big Deal...the Saints and the Colts...snore!

I am ditching Dallas.

Driving 4 hours to D-town to watch a football game with an ex-boyfriend and his friends is not an option for me any longer.

I love the commercials but thanks to youtube, I can watch them without the game interrupting.

Besides I have two exams this week and issues with my hair. I am debating just chopping my goldie locks off and going Sharon Stone for awhile but than I think if I want to grow it back out, I will have the same issues with what to do with awkward stages of bang growth.

Its all about finding a new attitude.

I can't start a new style with a closet full of old ill fitted wears.

Instead of chopping off my blonde, I did something far less destructive and far more productive.

I cleaned out my baggage.

I deleted every single last email address, phone number, and correspondence from anyone who came off the web.

I have a clean slate for serendipity to play its part at the grocery store, the park, or any where I will be walking along. Anything that doesn't involve the toxic internet dating arena.

I believe its the only true way to finding something beyond portable and disposable.

The Blonde will be playing off the sidelines!!!

BeautifulPeople.com

After hearing a news clip that beautifulpeople.com dumped 5,000 profiles from their site due to fat gain from the holidays, I had to check it out. I am fairly certain the story just happened to be a well played out publicity stunt but still...I had to look.

In order to look I had to set up a quick profile with my photo which then gets rated by other members. I did see some fugly but overall it was minimal and I have to say, after comparing it to other internet dating sites, they are a better looking group of hotties.

On most Internet dating sites Texas seems to have some of the scariest, I mean to the point of looking like they were the hillbillies in the movie 'Deliverance' and after seeing more than 5 of these freaks, I get so disgusted I start looking in other states. Kansas has some really cute corn fed hotties but unfortunately they live in Kansas, and well let's just say....ewwww!! But on beautifulpeople.com that torture is cut to a minimum and I enjoyed peaking around even if I am not interested in a single one.

Now, I am not planning on joining anymore Internet dating sites. I really do think the men on these sites are just all broken goods along with many of the women. I rather take my money and join an upscale health club and hit on the cutie running next to me on the treadmill. But I do have to admit, after receiving 6 or 7 interest emails from some of the members and everyone of them happens to be super handsome, I might just have to get my super glue, because some of this broken deserves to be fixed at least for a weekend!

The Blonde is just looking!!!

Hubbell Who?

OK...so I am totally over the Hubbell thing. You know, contrary to belief I am not some emotional freak who fell in love with someone over five dates. I was more or less in love with the possibility of being in love and living a fab life.

For all I know the dude might have sucked in bed! Its what I am using to get over my crush!

So to celebrate my new found overness, I have bought the sexiest 5 1/2" heels and a super sexy shoulder baring dress and I am meeting up with my equadorian hottie at Eddie V's tomorrow night.

He may only be a friend but we look so hot together that we are VIP'd wherever we go.

I love my latin hottie and he knows how to treat me like a Princess. Its exactly what I need right now.

I am going to let him devour me with attention for a couple of hours and than tuck myself in bed with a giant smile.

Later in the weekend I am headed to D town for a Superbowl party.

I am back to happy.

I am happy I did not go to New York. I am happy I with my decision to not make friends with dates that failed. A woman needs to value herself and playing the runner up position and dangling on is not only gross but it doesn't make you feel like a winner.

The loser in all of this isn't me!!!

The Blonde doesn't need to collect names!

Time to Renew

My timing is off and apparently not just by way of men. I keep thinking it friday, although its only Thursday. I guess finishing my work early to prepare for my New York trip has my internal clock screwed up.

Unfortunately for Raine, he is not someone who likes to spoil women and I am too spoiled to be treated half heartedly as a friend. If I want a man around, I will date him and be treated like a Princess. Raine likes calling his friends because he can super budget his way into a booty call.

But not with the Blond he can't.

Every time I have visited him, I came home thinking what an ass he is. He rushes me in and than shoves me out the door. Half the day he is emailing other women from online dating services. I swear he had a date on the day I was leaving last time. He was so quick to get rid of me he made me walk with him down the block strolling my Hartman luggage behind and shoved me in a cab with no leg room for the 30 minute ride to the airport.

He also made me miss my plane and expected me to change airports to catch a flight in order to keep me from coming back into the city.

Douche!!

A few months down the time line he emails me to see if I want to come up. After the last time...I never want to go up. I only decided to go this time because I needed to get away and over Hubbell. But in the end, I would feel worse if I went to New York and let Raine get away with not treating me special.

I am tired of letting him slide on certain things I find important just because I am labelled his friend. He has lots of ladies labelled friends.

Its how he gets away with sleeping around and never committing to anyone and sparing his tight pocket from shelling out for , shall we be nice and say, a courtesan?

I don't want to sleep with him and the last time I visited, he made me feel like I should. And now every time I try to go visit him, that feeling of him trying to ease his way into my pants gets my goat and I bail at the last minute.

I f I am not in a committed relationship, I don't sleep with you...bottom line!!

That is the problem with 'friends' that started off as potential boyfriend material. Once you sleep with someone and it no longer works out, you really just have to walk away.

I am a firm believer that you truly can not revert it back into a friend situation without someone being taken advantage of.

Maybe he can but I don't want to.

I don't have to.

If I want to see New York, I will go online and find a new boyfriend that will treat me like a Queen and live the romance of Manhattan like it was meant to be. And any man that treats a woman like a Queen will be rewarded in so many numerous ways.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

OK...two seconds in the gutter and than back to the story!

Done picturing dirty deeds?

Good.

In the end, I just am not interested in keeping old dates around.

The Blonde is spring cleaning her life!!!

No York

I cancelled my trip!

After all New York is for lovers and I don't have one.

UPDATE: Since I decided to cancel the flight I found out that a snow/ice storm is going to hit Ny the day I was supposed to leave. I spared myself some lengthy layover headaches.

The Blonde is grounded!

The Grammys

is my favorite show of the year. I place it way above the hoopla of the Oscars. The Grammys has exciting musical fests to delight the eye and tickle the hair on your arms until it stands straight up.

For the past several years I have watched it alone. I don't understand why peeps don't show as much excitement for the Grammys as they do the Oscars which is just a bunch of boring thank you speeches with a little host humor mixed in.

The Captain ditched my call to watch it together. He has a sound system that probably would have made me feel like I was on X watching it. Instead I had to scavenge through the house for a couple of pairs of bose computer speakers and plug them into my little flat screen. As a women I am not as enthralled with electronic gadgets as the men. I just assume that's a blue thing. But I made do with my pink stereo hook up job.

Pink was amazing with her cirque de soleil number. How she didn't get zapped holding the microphone as water poured all over her is a wonderment in my view.

Beyonce out did herself with that hair swinging number. No seriously, the hair swinging was a bit much but I got over it.

I missed the Elton John and Lady Gaga number. I quickly ran to my computer to watch it on youtube but the video was pulled for violation in the beginning of me watching it. I would ask around if anyone was cool enough to tivo the show but I am abundantly aware that I have no one to call in times of crisis.

Robert Downey Jr who I have had a crush on ever since I can remember looked absolutely handsome as ever.

All in all I was happy with the winning outcome and I smiled from ear to ear for the entire duration of the Grammys. I always do. Its got a special spiritual something in it that makes me serene and happy. Its an experience best shared with others but even watched alone, I still enjoyed it.

Sort of like my life. I enjoy it. I just would enjoy it more if I had someone to share it with full time. It gets lonely looking at a phone that never rings. It gets lonely emailing old flames just to have dialogue with someone. Its even more lonely trying to keep up friendly appearances with someone that had as many excuses as pearls on a Mikimoto strand as to why it didn't work out between us.

Maybe I could get Pink to write a song about it.

So off I go to New York pretending that will make me happy when in retrospect it will only make me feel worse . I don't see the point of keeping in touch once the romance has dwindled and friendship is all that remains? Its like a broken record that I can't quite shut off.

Its like lyrics that get trapped in your head and you can't get it out of your head and you keep singing along to it even when you don't want to anymore.

I think what is really getting to me is that Hubbell was my last shot. I had made the claim last year after the canadian that I was broken. I took one last shot and now all my hopes and dreams have been thorougly shattered.

The Blonde will never be part of duet!

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Say hello to aderal.

After turmoil over the fact I have so much to accomplish and not an ounce of sense in my brain, I reached for a little medicinal help. And although I was up all night long...

I am done!


I finished all 4 essays for my anthropology class.

I finished my essay for government.

And I finished my essay for mass communications.

And with any luck my resume will impress someone.

The only thing left to do is bag the hope of any future togetherness with Hubbell or anyone else for that matter.

The Blonde is retiring solo!

Brain Lock

I have a hard time concentrating lately. My mind wanders to thinking about how my life was supposed to be and what my life has actually been.

On the eve before I leave for my New York trip, I have to finish 4 essays for anthropology and find it an utter bore. I have to write an essay on the intrusion of political figures lives and I am benevolent. I have to write an essay on a BBC program that featured to journalists who report on the war in the middle east and I am inspired. I have to study for french class and have trouble with retaining what I learned from the last class. And I have to continue plugging away at the job market without losing hope.

On top of it all, I am lonely. I haven't had a relationship in a long time and it is wearing on me like a wet sweater. I am all mangled up inside.

I can't concentrate on all the above mentioned because I am too busy thinking of how my life is passing me by and all the hopes and dreams I had about love and marriage are slowly diminishing. One day I am going to look in the mirror and be this sad and single creature who eats ice cream in bed wrapped up in a light blue snuggy with the cats kneeding my hair into a rastafarian, dreadlock motif.

All of my cognitive abilities are full throttle in the direction of dealing with rejection that I can't bare to spend one synapsis on the rest of my life at the moment.

I am not a freak.

I am not the elephant man.

I am more than a side attraction.

I am

I am

I am in the circus cage of unrequited love

with my face pressed against the iron bars

while the fat lady sings to the object of my affection.

The Blonde needs the key!

Sleepless In Seattle

has been running on television all weekend and I have been watching it all weekend. Its one of those movies that you can watch over and over and still reach for the hanky box.

My favorite part is how Sam talks about his wife and how great he had it at least for awhile. I think we all have had it great for awhile somewhere in our past. And its those memories that make us long for a partner to make us feel like that again.

Today its grey and cold and thoughts of having someone next to my side fills my head. The best I can do is with my bed hogging cats and the romantic movie marathon on the E channel.

In a few days I will be headed to New York to see yet another internet date - turned friend. I love New York and visiting makes me happy even if no one will be waiting for me at the top of the Empire States building on Valentine's Day.

That is the problem with internet date - turn friends. You spend a great time with them but when its over you have to ask yourself, "If we are so great together, why aren't we together?"

I go back and forth on this thought and for now....

I am beginning to feel like Kate from 'The Way We Were'. All my men have become Hubbell and I have to watch them ride off in the car with the betty brunette they chose over me.

Maybe its not the greatest idea to spend time with someone that passed you over but than I think, it is far better to spend time, with at least someone, than to be alone with a flatulent cat and a tub of sugar free cool whip in front of the tele tube thinking about being the simple and lovely girl my Hubbell is seeing.

The Blonde doesn't want to roll over!

Love Sucks

Just have Sex!!!

That's all anyone wants anymore anyway!

The Blonde!!!

Biting the Big Apple

Who am I kidding?

I can't look for love.

It is too hard freaking hard.

I give up!

I am utterly without game anymore. I need some serious ego stroking. I am going to New York to do just that. It helps that Raine is super sweet and knows exactly when I can use some friendly nuzzle time.

I guess I was all wrapped up in finding the man of my dreams that I forgot I have quality men of my reality ready to lend me a hug any time I need.

I don't care how long the fat lady sings!

I am over Love!

I just need to find a way to get over the idea of love than just moping around. I need to just fill my days with familiar faces, fun places and some serious shoe shopping!

The Blonde needs to feed her soul!

The Look of Love

Strap the apparatus on my head that bonks me on the back of my head as I reach for another heart!

It is not my nature to give up and as much as my heart breaks at each failing, I rise above and smile and look to a bright future!

And what do I see?

I see me happy without that cupid and his stupid arrow!!!

The Blonde isn't blinded by love!

The Nature Of Love

Love is an evolving thing.

It grows.

It dies.

It is as solitary as your own heart.

You can give your love, take it away, lose it, or fall for it but you can never force it to be something its not.

A relationship can only exist if two people feel the same for each other whether it be 3 dates, 3 years, or 3 decades.

I think the worst part of dating isn't the bad date but rather the date that moves onto the 3rd and 4th and then disappears before it is given the chance for more.

And our minds get stuck in where it went wrong?

And even if we can pin point the exact moment, it does not matter for the one who still has feelings. Those feelings are there and we just have to wait until they disappear.

One small tiny thing can change the course of someone's desire for you and no matter how much you might want to change that, you can't. It's not your fault nor theirs...

it's just

The Nature of Love!

and we will never understand it.

We just have to find a way to grow from it.

The Blonde will always be stumped!!

Is It Better...

to burn out

or just

fade away??

The Blonde

Falling Out of Love With Love

Not everyone was meant to be with someone and I can get just as much love, liking a hundred men as I can loving just one!

This year I am on a journey to stay out of love. I am going to pick one man a week to play with and then like a bored cat, walk away and leave him stunned.

Every Sunday read about why sometimes it's better to love and leave quicker than a heart beat can say ouCh!!!

Going back to my little black book but beware I don't bother with anyone who isn't a member!

The Blonde thinks bad is better!

Less Is More

Happy New year Y'all!!


This year I will be posting only Sunday but it will be jammed pack of the weekly low down.

How Fabulous was last night?!!!

The Blonde had a blast!!

but you will have to wait until Sunday to read about it!