The Grammys

is my favorite show of the year. I place it way above the hoopla of the Oscars. The Grammys has exciting musical fests to delight the eye and tickle the hair on your arms until it stands straight up.

For the past several years I have watched it alone. I don't understand why peeps don't show as much excitement for the Grammys as they do the Oscars which is just a bunch of boring thank you speeches with a little host humor mixed in.

The Captain ditched my call to watch it together. He has a sound system that probably would have made me feel like I was on X watching it. Instead I had to scavenge through the house for a couple of pairs of bose computer speakers and plug them into my little flat screen. As a women I am not as enthralled with electronic gadgets as the men. I just assume that's a blue thing. But I made do with my pink stereo hook up job.

Pink was amazing with her cirque de soleil number. How she didn't get zapped holding the microphone as water poured all over her is a wonderment in my view.

Beyonce out did herself with that hair swinging number. No seriously, the hair swinging was a bit much but I got over it.

I missed the Elton John and Lady Gaga number. I quickly ran to my computer to watch it on youtube but the video was pulled for violation in the beginning of me watching it. I would ask around if anyone was cool enough to tivo the show but I am abundantly aware that I have no one to call in times of crisis.

Robert Downey Jr who I have had a crush on ever since I can remember looked absolutely handsome as ever.

All in all I was happy with the winning outcome and I smiled from ear to ear for the entire duration of the Grammys. I always do. Its got a special spiritual something in it that makes me serene and happy. Its an experience best shared with others but even watched alone, I still enjoyed it.

Sort of like my life. I enjoy it. I just would enjoy it more if I had someone to share it with full time. It gets lonely looking at a phone that never rings. It gets lonely emailing old flames just to have dialogue with someone. Its even more lonely trying to keep up friendly appearances with someone that had as many excuses as pearls on a Mikimoto strand as to why it didn't work out between us.

Maybe I could get Pink to write a song about it.

So off I go to New York pretending that will make me happy when in retrospect it will only make me feel worse . I don't see the point of keeping in touch once the romance has dwindled and friendship is all that remains? Its like a broken record that I can't quite shut off.

Its like lyrics that get trapped in your head and you can't get it out of your head and you keep singing along to it even when you don't want to anymore.

I think what is really getting to me is that Hubbell was my last shot. I had made the claim last year after the canadian that I was broken. I took one last shot and now all my hopes and dreams have been thorougly shattered.

The Blonde will never be part of duet!

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