My Favorite Day

Its get drunk, turn up tunes, and pass the rainy grey day away, with fake guitar, fabulous emotions, and crappy thoughts on men.

Today, I was confronted with the fact that one of my gents doesn't sleep with girls that sleep with other guys. But it is perfectly acceptable for him to carry on goose behavior, while tossing the gander to the dark ages.

Who does he think he is kidding?

Yes, he is wealthy...big deal!! So is every man I date!!

Dating men with money is like window shopping. They will parade you around things that you want, but they make it clear, that its not yours...so where is the prize in that?!!

I am a twenty first century biatch and I know the rules of the game...I am not born under 30 years ago and I don't think I want to be. Why would I want to go through another idiot period of believing in the fools that show me around the top of their mountain, only to be marched down it and told I am not worthy.

Guess what?

It is you who is not worthy of me!!

Your so roped up in what you have, that you believe that is all you have to offer.

How sad because you dont even offer that beyond the visual.

I have learned to live with nothing and so your fortune means nothing!!

Go find someone who cares...I will float the cell phone bill.

Leave me alone, please.

I, like the rest of the world sit and look at our wish magazines like Vogue and ultimate real estate catalogs. Its all non-fiction and I, like everyone else, can get lost in all its dreamy glory.

But I wake up and see the truth.

If a man thinks he is the bomb, because he represents the pics from a mag I read in passing, it is beyond my rolling eyes.

Millions of peeps pick up rag mags to see a life they only dream of, even if its a life of turmoil...its a life that affords the famous and wealthy the few days needed to cry and pout at their leisure until they are ready to face the world again. That is what makes the average Joe envious of these made up mag lives...not the money, but the money that affords a break, when your feeling down.

In the real world...you can't sneeze without thinking your retirement has just been staked.

I hurt thinking about the fact that we bailed out the top 10 % while the bottom 90% is so tired in their struggle to pay the bills, that they read the newspaper, as if its another Paris Hilton story, without standing up to the atrocities and persecuting the men responsible for their current situation.

Won't anyone stand up?!

I am beginning to dislike the wealthy for throwing their arrogance in my face. Take your wannabe french biatch attitude with the wigs and stuff it up your pampered arse.

I have been in this dating arena so long, I know all the moves, and bragging about what you have doesn't bring me closer to having what I need, so spare me...please!!

You think because you have money, you automatically win?

If that were the case, all the wealthy and the famous would be in a state of glee, and Barnes and Noble would be short on biographies of the distraught, poor, little, rich me stories that so many surfs love to read.

And Marie Antoinette would have died with her head on!

The Blonde needs a stronger entitlement plaque remover!!!


Kiss And Tell

Never...but I will spill the beans on my trip to Horseshoe Bay for V day.

Horseshoe Bay's Marriott has about as much class and customer service as a snail's shell. The wallpaper and flooring leading into the rooms will make you dizzy, even without the haze of wine. Your better off jet setting to a Mexico Beach.

I talked to several couples that were there for the valentine weekend and they waited 3 hours for dinner. They would have left but since it was a weekend package, they wanted their moneys worth. I don't blame them but I would have left and gone to the yacht club for dinner.

I loved the coziness of the yacht club bar and restaurant, it was the company sharing the bar that made me want to gag. Men, bragging to other men about what they do and how much they make. My theory is, if your alone on Valentines, in the middle of know where and you talk about thousands and not millions...you are nothing to brag about.


My date and I went back to the room for a little 'light reading', and afterward we decided to trail down to the bar and sit outside by the water before going back to our 'reading'. We tried to get someone to help us light the heat lamp, give us matches, and serve us drinks...forget it.

We were on our own.

No apology from management, as a matter of fact, Benji, the manager actually had an attitude and said he talked to several tables and they were fine. What Benji failed to mention is he was hanging with his regulars at the bar and making sure they were taken care of while the rest of the weekend guests, were left thinking they won't make Horseshoe Bay Marriott a second mistake.

I gently walked Benji over to several tables and asked the couples that weren't regulars, how was their stay. One woman grabbed Benji's arm and would not let go until she filled him with all of her complaints. As I walked a way feeling satisfied someone was getting heard, a petite and leathered she devil cronie of Benji's, grabbed my arm and asked who was I?

I told her to kindly remove her claws and that I was the one who was going to make sure the resort lost a star in their rating.

Horseshoe Bay is a great area if you never left Texas, can't afford to leave Texas, or like the Holiday Inn.

Blonde have plenty of lip service!!!



Be My Valentine

What does that mean?

What is it to be someone's valentine if you are going to sit at home alone on Valentine weekend?

St. Valentine was persecuted and executed because he would not turn on his religion. How that ended up into a holiday of little love cards with hearts on them, I will never know.

Suddenly, I am hit with a bit of melancholy.

Thank you, Hallmark, for reminding me what a loser I am for not having a significant other. Do you have a sympathy card for those of us alone on your paper thin heart's holiday?

I don't even think I made the FTD list for conciliatory bouquets this year. In the past I was inindated with flowers from gents interested in keeping me on the line without any real intention of hooking me in for more than a novelty relationship.

This year I am down graded to emails saying, "Miss you, Be my Valentine."




I guess I will be ordering in romantic movies from Netflix and cuddling up in bed with my cat, letting the festivities of this romantic holiday pass me by, again.


The Blonde has an aching heart!!



Blonde wisdom for the male masses!!

Blondes may not be delicate little flowers but our egos are!

I have been blue about my looks. And the only reason I am blue is because of Dallas. I have heard one too many times how hot the Ex is. I am sure she is, so why slum with me?

My darling men,






Never, tell a blonde how hot another girl is, unless you back it up with...but your hotter.

I live in this wonderful fantasy world, where I think I am the hottest thing out there, and trying to convince me there is something better is only going to make my little blonde bangs, blow up into a little tantrum, telling you to...

"Go get her!"

If you don't think I am the bomb blond shell, then move on.

I realize their are hotter chicks than me, but there shouldn't be any to my man. And if he does see something hotter, she better be a fantasy girl, movie star, or penthouse playmate.

And since Dallas has told me on numerous occasion that his Ex is so hot, I think he should get her back or at least get someone just as hot. Apparently, there is a girl in Houston better than me, too.

When I talk about my Ex's, I throw in things like they are bad in bed, or have nose hair growing out of one nostril. I am sure men would get their feelings hurt if I bragged about how much money the Ex had or that they were awesomely hung. but I don't. When you begin a relationship comparing yourself to someone that you don't think you can ever fill their shoes, you get insecure about yourself and that is never going to bring a positive outcome to a relationship.

I think Dallas should go after exactly what he wants, after all, he is a terrific guy, and terrific guys deserve everything they want.

I still want Dallas guy and it sucks to have to find a replacement when I don't want to, but I don't want to make him miserable, or myself, because I have it in my head that I am not the perfect blonde.

Of course today, to make myself feel better, I have been playing with hair and make up and generally trying to get my game back on. I have been running around in my underwear telling myself, I am hot.

Someone out there is going to think I am the hottest thing he has ever been with, and that's the man I want.

Blondes have self esteem exercises to do!!


Burying the Blog with Big Girls

After Big Sis caught wind of my recent post, I caught flack for sharing BigDaddy's past time.

I refuse to delete on basis of literary integrity but I am not above a compromise so I am popping a quick post on top of it.

I recently caught site of Jessica Simpson's new figure. She is a big girl and while I don't have a problem with big curves, I do have a problem with her being a size 12 and thinking she can wear clothes meant for a size 2. She needs to take que from women who know how to wear big well.

African American women know how to wear big well. They know what style and fashion works well for them and more importantly they are confident about their size. White girls have no clue. Jessica looks like she should be the poster child for pretty trailer trash chicks. Take off the small girl clothes and go get some Big Mamma clothes.

I think Queen Latifa is one of the prettiest women out there and she wears here size well. I also love the fact that rather than losing weight for the sake of size, she promotes losing weight to be healthy. I realize everyone is built differently and I embrace all sizes as long as its a healthy size and you wear fashion well. I do exclude obesity from my argument...there is no excuse for out right hugeness and a blatant disrespect for the bod.

Jessica, you have to options: lose weight and keep your small size clothes; or lose the small size mentality and choose to live big in clothes that fit your new bod.

Blondes want every Blonde to look good!!

Enough Drama

Its time to make Momo laugh so I am going to embarrass her with a tid bit about BigDaddy.

I was up all last night trying to tweak BigDaddy's internet connection for faster streamlining of his videos. I would like to say he was streaming reruns of M.A.S.H. , for Momo's sake, but he wasn't. He was having trouble with his YouPorn and he asked me, his not so innocent, not so young daughter to fix the buffering time.

Big Daddy loves his porn and in his older gentile age, he is not shy about it.

I want him to have a happy homecoming and so I was busy working on it last night for him. I don't know exactly what video he was interested in but I am fairly certain I do not want to know.

Growing up, I used to peak at his Variations books. They were filled with erotic stories and after reading a page or two, my face would go red and I would laugh and carefully put the book back in the top left hand drawer under the sink counter.

Later on in his porn pursuit, he began amassing a large video collection in his closet. When Boo was in the house and old enough to be curious, that was his way of learning about the sexual side of life.

Than BigDaddy got cable and the Playboy channels kept his interest but he was always dissappointed with the soft side of that cable channel. When I installed the internet for him and Momo, Big Daddy discovered internet porn, and knowing I was a hacker, he would ask me for the codes and sites to watch for free. I gladly gave it to him.

Now with YouPorn, BigDaddy watches free as a bird and is now a seasoned and fearless master of porn, treading the masses of internet amatuer sites, when Momo goes to bed.

When Boo came home last night to see BigDaddy, he asked me what I was doing. Being from a family that is open and honest about everything, I told him exactly what I was up to. Boo is a bit more reserved than the rest of us but he is still young and has the good sense to be embarrassed abut things so I waited for his rolled eyed reaction but he didn't bat an eye.

He just grinned and said, "Guys love their Porn."

And we love BigDaddy.

BigDaddy is coming home next week and will be faced with the fact that he can't do many things but watching his porn won't be one of them.

The Blonde fixed his buffer!!

Oh Lord

Here comes the family!

You know the real pain in knowing someone is ill, is in the family dynamics that accompanies this knowledge. All of the sudden everyone goes into crisis mode. When slapped in the face with someone's life span coming to a close, we can't help but look at the bruise of our own mortality in the mirror and the rationalities we have been making for our own lives.

Holy Cow!!

Here comes everyone trying to resolve everything.

Dear family,

Chill out.

Don't be coming here with a heap of remorse about anything you have ever done. For Christ sakes we all know each other way too well to ever hold each others issues as personal attack against one another.

We are an emotional family.

We have issues.

We have complaints.

We have arguments.

That is who we are.

But we also love each other so much that it hurts us when one of us is hurting.

I don't want anyone hurting so I am going to spare you the emotional turmoil that you like to whip up in drama time by asking you to ask yourself one simple little, itty, bitty question.

Do you love your family?


Yes you do!!

That is all you need to ask yourself.

That is all you need to know to resolve past issues that are old plays and need not to find a new stage.

All this ridiculousness of thinking we didn't do enough to show our love is ridiculous. I know my family and yes, we are all, the biggest pain in the rears since the elephant began walking this earth, but we love each other for better or worse and there isn't anyone in our family that doesn't know that.

So when you come here, enjoy the fighting, the nit picking, the teasing, the laughing, the joking, the crying and most importantly enjoy the big glorious dysfunctional orgy that is our family.

Blondes can't wait for the fun to begin!!


Big Blue Eyes

Did you know if you cry all day that you can make your eyes look like they have been beaten in by a rabid boxing kangaroo?

My eyes are so swollen and dark from rubbing them all day that I look like one of the Olsen twins on a cocaine binge.

Today, my number one goal is to get through it without crying. If I rub my eye sockets anymore, my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head and roll down the street to get away from my emotional wreck of a head.

I am going to fail miserably because I know I have to go with Momo and Boo to see Big Daddy today but my goal is to get to through the hospital's sliding doors before weeping like a willow.

The Blonde isn't seeing clearly!!!



I take little steps to perfect my appearance, like most Blondes do.

long hair
make up
butt tightening exercises

Blondes go through a lot to look good for our self and male attention. We could care less of what other women think of us. After all, this isn't a competition. Its just about being a Blonde.

I know there will always be someone prettier, thinner, hotter, and younger than me.
The most I can do is be happy about myself, and what makes me happy, is feeling good about my looks.

In my quest for superficial satisfaction I have been sporting fake french tips for a while and enjoy them. I do have trouble with a few things because of them but they aren't life threatening unless I need to call 911 in a hurry, which is near impossible, considering my nails get in the way of punching the telephone keys.

Other than dialing and texting, I never viewed my nails as a problem, until today. Today, I went to the store for some vitamins and when I went to pay for them, some coins dropped from my wallet. The woman behind me, who looked like she was using every ounce of her last dollar to buy groceries for the week said, "You dropped your change, aren't you gonna get it?"

My normal reply is no, it is just change, but I didn't want her to think I was above the economic hardship of everyone else, so I tried to pick a quarter up just to prove to myself that I am not above anyone.

That squabbly little round coin refused to tip into my hand. I looked like an idiot trying to grab a quarter that someone had glued to the floor. I was literally squatting on the floor trying to pick up a quarter I could care less about just to appease some stranger!

What is wrong with this picture?

Every time I try to make myself seem like a better person by being guilted into an action I am not comfortable with, I end up looking like an idiot. So what, if I don't care about my change? Someone else can use it and I see it as charity. How much nicer do I need to be?

Next time, I am sticking to my instinct to leave anything under a dollar on the floor.

I stood up in disgust, thinking I shouldn't have gone for the coin, for any reason or anyone. If she was so concerned, why didn't she help me pick the change up? Maybe she just likes making a Blonde look down on her luck, to make her feel better about herself, which is funny, because that is what I tried to do, by picking up the darn coin in the first place!

I looked back at the woman and just said, "If I need a quarter that bad, I will stop getting my nails done." I paid for my vits and left.

Afterward, I shook off the incident by going to a local boutique and bought a dress a size too small and a price tag too big to justify a half a yard of paper thin cotton fabric, but I fell in love with it and that made it seem worthy of its price. It is a hot little dress with a lace up front. I tried to fix the laces but my nails wouldn't let me loosen the knot.

I thought karma is kicking me because I was arrogant about my loose change but then I remembered, I can't tie my shoes, put on my bracelets, or button my bra strap in back because of my fake tips.

Its not karma, its just the stupidity I have to go through for being enslaved to my looks.

Thank God!!

Blondes don't stoop for money!!

Detoxing at The V Spa

I have been going a little harder, on weekends, than I should and it is time to check out of the scene for a bit, or at least this week before the weekend starts again.

I am hiding low and working on staying in shape. I don't like to exercise too much, I am afraid my body might get used to it and demand a daily regimen, and if I fail it will turn against me and become my enemy in the war to stay thin and young.

I have noticed people who take their sports to extremes tend to look older and unnatural, especially women; their cut muscles and over tanned skin look unappealing to me in the sense that I do not wish to mimic them. I do, however, like to stay healthy and unfortunately sex isn't included in the physical sport arena.

I prefer living in moderation with everything. When I feel my life is unbalanced in one direction, like going out too much or writing too much, I recorrect it and work on a part of my life that has been neglected and for now that is my physical well being.

We all need to reassess our situation as often we can. We need to know and understand when our world needs more time for work, more time for play, more time for relationships, or more time to goof off and be as decadent as Bacchus...or less of it!

The Blonde is busy being a moderate!!!


The Promise Land

How many promises have been broken over the years?

We all have made them, we all have broken them.

Promises made in front of an alter, in front of God and family, only to say...Oops..I really just meant the better part; I was crossing my fingers when I said I would stick around for the worst.

I guess I am a bit cynical about marriage because I have been single for so long. I hear too many stories of bad break ups and divorces. It scares me to think I will end up being someones mistake, only to become their entertaining fodder of evil relationships to a future date.

I have to consider the fact that I have a few gents out there that carry on about me in a negative light; but I am fairly certain it was not because I was really a bad seed but more a sour apple that didn't fit their tastes.

I have a few antidotes of my own that I share with new dates but it is more along the lines of why we didn't fit, as opposed to trashing someone to make me look like an angel.

I have no idea why I haven't traveled down the long isle that turns down the marriage road. I guess, I have never found the one that I think I can spend my life with. If I ever marry, I would like to think it will be the promise I never break. But the more I hear about marriage from the unhappy sector, and the more I read about Internet sites that placate to adultery, like its the new therapy for dysfunctional marriages, I have to wonder?

Is the gesture of a wedding just a symbolic joke?

Do people marry for love anymore?

Or do they marry to keep up appearances and hold onto the old myth of the American dream?

I saw "Revolutionary Road" and while it swung more to the dramatic sense of a dismal life for those who want more than what society dictates, there were some very valid points to be made to those that fall prey to the antiquated version of a family.

Too often, rules of the social norm get twisted into a deformed sense of reality. And from this twisted thought of reality, comes the very real and ugly end to many of the futile relationships it spawned.

Too many children's lives are disrupted by the anger of divorce, and by parents, that are so selfish in their desire to hurt one another, because they refuse to take responsibility for their half of a failed marriage; and too many children are put through endless battles they must witness before dinner time, because Mummy and Daddy are staying together, no matter how much they dislike each other, for the sake of them.

This is the 21st century and children of single parent households can be just as well adjusted, if not more, than children in a two parent household and probably more adjusted than their peers in a divorced household. And just to set the record straight, if you are a divorced parent and share custody, you are not a single parent.

Modern day relationships have no ability to handle a life long commitment. The "Save Marriage Act" is a joke. Why is our democracy involving themselves in a dispute of what a marriage is based on a religious definition? What ever happened to the separation of church and state?
Didn't we flee Britain because the church had too much say in our lives?

Marriages are failing all around us, not because of the sexual orientation of partners, but because sexual desires aren't being met in the bedroom.

Grow Up America...because the world is growing around you and the vintage version of life taught in the 5 minute sermon between the musical entertainment at your Mega Church is promising a dead end.

Blondes are taking a higher road of education!!