Illuminating Thoughts

I noticed that my complexion and traffic both sport a lighter look. Unfortunately, it seems the look is more flattering on the streets than on my skin.

I seriously need to spend some time in the sun. I have the mimimal amount of pigment to distinguish me from that of an albino and an eggshell wall. I am not even a pretty creamy white; I am more of a speckled cream and white berber carpet color.

A much needed color coating must come this weekend either through surf and sun or the spa?!

Looking at the cost of airline tickets and petrol, it looks like I will be sloughing asnd spraying skin at the spa this weekend.


Since my car isn't the only one that doesn't run on the remnants of a million stalks of corn, the price of the dinosaur gas has actually helped clear the roads for me during my ride to and from work. I don't know if it is due to lay-offs, techies doing more work remotely from their home, or just the working peeps waiting out peak drive time so they don't sit in traffic and waste gas; which happens to be very good for the environment. Do you have any idea how much Texans like their trucks and SUV's?

Its all good!!

If Hillary could see how well this gas crisis is working out for me and the environment, she could move on and focus on trying to solve real issues like raising wages, keeping jobs in the U.S., and keeping the drug companies from raping us every time we sneeze.


Oh yes, the increase of funds could help secure things like food and housing. I hear it is a big priority for families at the moment!!


For me, I would like to see the freaking valet prices drop downtown! Seriously, they act as if the gas my car consumes during the 50 yard drive from the door to the most convenient of public parking lots they coned off the entrances to is coming out of their own pocket?!!

I could walk to my downtown destination but crossing the street with my pasty skin glowing in the night could cause cars to think they were about to be hit by an oncoming motorist.

I would rather not risk the injury.


Blondes try to stear clear of accidents!!

A Creepy Crawl

...by a creepy guy in my office waiting to ride the elevator with me when I come to work in the morning.

Why is it the ones that look like they keep their dead Mother stuffed and sitting in a rocking chair in the living room seem to find me?

This neo-fleeb is incredibly obese and we all know how I feel about someone who abuses their body. Dr. Phil would have backed me up on the hating really fat people before he became a fathead himself.

Anyhoo,

This walking 'heart-attack' with a permanent cast on his leg, and breathes like Darth Vader's illegitimate son sits in his serial killer Honda civic beater car waiting for me to pull in the parking lot. When he feels that is too obvious he waits in the men's room near the building door and waits until I walk by so he can ride the elevator with me.

I can't stand to look at him but he has no problem staring at me, scaring the bijeebeez out of me with that stalker breathing and he carries an extra cast...I am seriously spooked by him.

El problema con los individuos tiene gusto de esto is you can not be nice to them, not even once. They for the most part are invisible and if you shed their cloak by saying something to them, they feel invincible enough to harrass you. This whole thing got started because I didn't want to be rude when he said hello to me last week when I had the first displeasure of sharing space with him.

I generally do not like to be a mean person but I don't feel I have to be nice to every single loser that wants to freak me out. Today I walked into the building as he waited and stared at me, hoping I was coming his way. I simply rolled my eyes, sighed in disgust and went up the stairs.

I don't see why I have to be put out by this freak. Tomorrow if he is waiting again, I will have a talk with his boss. There is no reason for me to have to confront him. Its not my fault his chromosomes are missing the 'let's be normal' gene.


Blondes don't like all the attention!!

Music Men

rocked my world last night!

After spending time alone with my men in an intimate setting such as the gorgeous Paramount Theater, I now know what I want in a man...

First, he has to have the sense of humorous stylings of the great Lyle Lovett, who by the way I totally have a huge crush on now. I loved him before but knowing he is funny makes him even better.

Second, he has got to have the coolness of John Hiatt. He is the quintessential story teller. Asked about the song Thunderbird, he told the audience how he and his friends stole a gold Thunderbird from a woman picking up pizza at the local pizzeria(this is in the year 1968). They drove the car around for a couple of weeks taking turns until one day an exact copy of the Thunderbird they stole and were driving happened to roll up next to them.

Taking notice becasue of the uncanniness they couldn't help but see the other Thunderbird had a personlized plate...'his'.
Guess what the license plate on the car they were driving had on it?


Third isn't a requirement but if you can jam like Joe Ely, you can do no wrong in my eyes. He is a little short and not too talkative but man can his voice get to your gut. I will definitely catch his next show--even if it is for the Republic Bike Rally thing.

Fourth, well their isn't a fourth but I did want to mention Guy Clark. He is a little too old for me and seemed tired but give him a break--actually he had one--his leg. Lyle is right--he is cooler than the Marlboro man. My favorite thing about his part of the show is how he left no stone unturned when it came to picking on the folks of California.

I enjoyed a glass of wine on the balcony of Stephen F and than went home. I was tired and all I could think of as I tucked myself in...was what an absolutely perfect night it was. The only thing better would to have been able to meet them for a night cap of music at Saxon.


Blondes know how to enjoy their time alone!!

Going Solo

I am going solo to a concert tonight. I am going to hear the incredible music of Joe Ely, Lyle Lovett, Guy Clark and John Hiatt.

I could have drummed up a date for this event but I guess I didn't want to share the music with anyone. I love and respect the music so much, I didn't want anything to possibly ruin it and lately men have been ruining everything.

However, I know that all my faith in finding the right man for me will be restored with just one fabulous night alone with some of the great ones that have reached my top ten reasons to be a woman list.

Granted these boys aren't the prettiest to look at but since when did I ever care about the superficial stuff like age and looks.



They can croon me all night long.


Music makes a blonde world go round!

Got Milk?

Why get milk when you can have soda for all your nutritional needs? And it has twice the amount of artifical flavorings!!


Awsome!!! The World is more ridiculous than I am.

Real Blondes prefer to be natural!

New Look

I have my own domain!! And why shouldn't I?!

I am totally worth it.

You can now just type:

blindedbyblonde.com

Liar, Liar...

Pants on fire...

I swear to Gah, if yesterday wasn't one of the most hysterical days I have ever had. I just couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all.

First I was thrown under the bus by co-workers who didn't complete a task and threw it in my lap last minute and than used me as the office idiot.


I thought to myself on the way home that I am not cut out for poor office politics and two face back-stabbers. As these thoughts twisted through my little head, the most hideous van pulled up next to me.

It was a chicken van!!

A Honda Element with molded feet on the back of the van, a chicken head molded onto the front of the hood and a hat or something on the the top of the van.

It was the ugliest beast of an auto I had ever seen. It would definitely scare the dickens out of the children if it were ever entered into a parade.

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
All I could think at the moment was how my job could suck more.
I could be driving that chicken van for a living.


Next on my list of all time most ridiculous award would go to my Ex whom I made the distinct mistake of visiting last night. He tried so hard to convince me that he could love me and do right by me, blah, blah, blah.

Anyhoo,

We had a couple of glasses of wine together and I laid down on his sofa for an hour before I had to go home. He laid in his bed and fell asleep.

Ring!!

Ring!!!

Hello?

Well, Hi baby. Where are you?

Why don't you come over?

I was just watching tv and fell asleep.

I sure did, just watched TV and fell asleep.

OK Baby. Bye Baby.



My head popped up quicker than a jack rabbit out of a snake hole.

Did you just forget I was on the sofa?!



I laughed so hard I almost peed myself again.

I laughed all the way out the door and back home.

I am still laughing.


This morning I get an email saying it was his sister and she had a fight with her husband.

Really?!

Hhmmm? Your sisters name is Baby, Baby, Baby?!



Blondes believe everything they hear!

6 Week Moratorium

I have initialized my official breakup moratorium used to ensure I will know who to blame if something goes wrong with my body or to ensure the break up is real and not just a cat fight. I am certainly, mostly, absolutely positive this is the finale' for my recent casualty and may I say it couldn't happen to a nicer fella.

Did my sarcasm come through just then? I can't ever tell.


Usually I only engage in a 4 week buffer zone before I begin to date again but since my last one had super sperm, I am taking no chances. This by no means that I have issued any house arrests for myself either.


This weekend I went out with my producer friend. I am always cheered up by the thought of limos and VIP status at clubs. We were having a fun time until several gentlemen started hitting on me. Now, I am no one's girlfriend, nor do I wish to engage in a relationship with my producer friend. He is definitely one to leave single. No matter how much dog training you do on him, he is too old to learn any horse and pony tricks to impress me, although he sure is trying.

Now I rarely go to country bars. I am more an uptown girl but its fun to let loose when you don't really care what anyone thinks about you which is what these bars do for me. The most crazy I get is dance and accept business cards from cute strangers which is where this story is heading.


My producer friend which technically we were on a date but as friends only. Unfortunately he doesn't see it that way and is still trying to win me over.
I really enjoy his company, I can be myself and have fun without pretense but I am still not falling anytime soon.

He keeps telling everyone we are together. I keep telling him we aren't.

Just saying it doesn't make it true. But, it doesn't stop him from trying, he doesn't take the word NO too well.


Anyhoo, back to the country bar:

He pulled out his bull horns and bucked anyone who tried to come near me. I can handle myself. I am used to the attention and I just politely say I am on a date but at these country bars that isn't enough to keep them from coming around. These guys just had bad manners to come up to me every time Mr Producer had his head turned.
Needless to say Mr. Producer got angry and threatened to have their ass kicked and he knows the people to do it.

No matter how sweet it might be that someone wants to have the crap beaten out of someone in my honor, I just assume not. I don't want to have to bail anyone out of jail or show up to numerous court dates for a lawsuit.


Ahhh, country bars, gotta love the trailer park pride in these establishments.
Men will fight for their woman unlike the gents at the Four Seasons, which is where
I am going to hang my hat up this coming weekend.

I just don't do country well.


The Blonde always leaves with the one that brung her!

Blonded and Bambuzzled

...by Love.

After bearing with me during my turmoil in New York I thought you might like to read what the Ex wrote me to make me believe he was someone else.

I included a collection of his email to me. Just click on the link.
I have commentary for fun, although, it really isn't a laughing matter when someone makes you believe they are free to love you when they aren't.

Read from Here to Gone in 53 or So Emails:

Click here to read!

Peace Y'all...The Blonde is back!!

Way too skinny...

...jeans slipped over my derriere like butter, this morning. I am incredibly psyched to being my perfect weight again.

I am also excited that I sold my very first two items listed on my Ebay store.
A very happy girl in the UK is going to get my cherished pony hair coat that I never got to wear because I am too tall and broad shouldered to wear anything from the 60's era. She is so excited to have it that I gave her a buy now option for way under what I paid for it or could get for it if I waited to auction it. But it makes me happy to lose a little bit of money to be able to give someone something they want very much.


The second coat, a fabulous L.A.M.B. ruffle coat, went to a young lady in NYC. She had a bit of an attitude regarding timely payments, actually stationg that it was my fault for not putting down paymetn requirements. Excuse me for not thinking their would be a fleeb out in Ebay land wanting to abuse my good nature.

She eventually paid, after giving the "I am out of town speech". In between the lines was the I need to wait for my next paycheck. Her coat is on its way.


We now break for this important announcement:

News Flash,

Just minutes ago the young lady who bought my ruffle coat has just discovered what karma does when it comes back to bite you in the ass.

Biatch, as I lovingly call her now, received the coat and now wants an immediate refund. You see, she is one of 'those' people who puts a large bid on an item to secure a win. Only this time she didn't count on someone else wanting the coat badly enough to go up a crazy amount and a bidding war was brought on. The coatwas up to a ridiculous amount. She now has buyers remorse and wants the funds back.

Deep down, i don;t blame her but seriously she was greedy!! I don;t bid on things I can't afford and there is a lot I wouldn't mind having. Especially that Jean Paul Gaultier jacket.

I had another buyer for the coat earlier on but now I don't know. Its late in spring and I might get stuck with the coat until fall. She said she is sending the coat back for immediate refund and I replied.

'You need to go through dispute so I can properly resolve this issue.'

Eventually I might be made to take the coat back which is fine. I offered the refund not thinking an arse would buy my coat but I will honor it.

Live and learn I always say

Let karma work its magic through the Ebay dispute process while I am out of town for awhile. I hear it can take up to a month to resolve issues.


Blondes know what it feels like to wait for my money too.

Money or Manners

Murphy's Law had a chance to play with me.

I spent the last part of my trip in New York alone and financially jammed because the Hudson Hotel held my entire bank account hostage. I had to have another ex pay for the last night. I didn't feel right having him pay for an extravagant hotel so I moved to the Milford near Broadway.


I finally get home by the grace of God, and one really sweet guy at the information desk at Grand Central Station who gave me the extra $2 I needed to get to the airport by bus.


I go straight to the bank from the airport to figure out why so much money was taken out by the hotel. The teller informs me there are no charges on the account for any hotel. Every transaction placed on my account by the Hudson Hotel had magically disappeared and my account was at its original balance.

I am now awaiting the proper charges.


But I wonder?

Why did this happen?

What is the reason?

What am I to learn from this experience?

Did I at least build on my character?


The now defunct relationship has left me with a surplus of cash in my savings account. The money was given to me by my newly ex-ed boyfriend for sprucing myself up. Now that we are no longer together I feel funny having the money. I used a third of it for my lips and a couple of trips to the day spa but there is still some left in the savings account. I wanted him to know the money was being used for the purpose he intended. It was a generous gift and I didn't want him to think I would abuse his generosity.

Now that karma has set my account straight, I wonder?

Should I give him back the money?

It was a gift. Why should I return it?

Why should I be punished?

Wasn't I punished enough?

Does he deserve to have it back?

What is the proper thing to do?

Why should I even care about doing the proper thing? Its not like I am going to get kudos from him for returning the funds and I like kudos!!



Oh well! (sigh)

I can't win them all.

Thank goodness, I only need to win one.


I have decided to take the funds and reimburse myself for the trip, ensuring good karma to him--. And for my karma, (BTW: you can start a sentence with a conjunction if used sparingly--I looked it up) I am adopting polar bears to help save them from the effects of global warming.


It is really amazing to me how everything worked alright. I don't know what I would have done if I had no family or friends and alot of Gah to help me. I am humbled and grateful for the experience.


Blondes try to grow up well!!

My Lips are Losing Weight

I recently had a little bit of fat injected into my lips to give me a sexy Bridget Bardot pout. I din't opt for the fake stuff because I didn't want to look like Daffy duck.

I have just noticed my lips aren't as pouty as before I went to NYC.

I ask myself...


Self, why are my lips getting thinner?

Are they losing weight?

I know I lost a few extra pounds running around New York on the one bag of fries I could afford, but this is ridiculous.

Lips should not lose weight.


Butts and thighs yes, lips no.


Can transplanted fat be lost?


Its so not fair!!


I already lost a boyfriend, you think I would get to keep my lips.


I am going to have to feed my lips tonight.



I need something meaty and juicy!!


Hhhmmm.....




I need a dinner date.




Blondes hate to eat alone!!