Candy Store Dating

That is what online dating is, Its a candy store with too much candy and you keep eating your way through until all the good candy is gone.

But your so addicted to it that you will start sampling the candy you don't like thinking liquorice might turn out tasting like sweet tarts.

Online dating is a pez dispenser.

The dispenser is fun but the candy is the same and it sucks.

Insanity is doing the same thing over expecting different results.

I hate pez, I hate liquorice, and I am sick of eating the crap candy online.

I lasted all of 3 days on MM before deleting my profile.

Get out of the candy store. Go to the park and play, fly a kite, do anything but the same old routine that has never produced a lick of good results.


The Blonde's candy turned sour!

Oie

Oie is french for goose.

Oie vay is what I say when my Mom asks me to babysit her newest project.

She is raising baby geese for fun before she sends them back to her friends farm.

Its one thing to see my food wrapped in cellophane in the isle next to my wine. But when my food follows me around the yard and tweets at me and sleeps on my lap...suddenly...I am not hungry any more.

I just hope to God the neighborhood associations puts their foot down on baby cows.

I would hate to not wear leather again!!


The Blonde is not going to eat poultry ever again.

My cats, on the other hand, are trying to figure out how to get the grille working as I type.

To Bang or Not To Bang

that is the question.

Get you mind out of the gutter...


I meant my hair.

First thing a blonde does after done with a man is chop of her goldilocks for a new 'me'.


But I like my hair and the most I am willing to go is with some bangs.

I am in a budget crisis and the only natural thing to do is take a scissor and cut a new look.

A little bit of bangs goes a lot farther than botox on a budget.

Not that I am ready for botox...yet, but give me a few more stressed out months with my scholarship money depleted...and I will need a face lift.


What was I thinking?

Its not like I need more maintenance in my life.

I didn't want to break a tradition


I turned on Dog Days are Over and sang along in the shower as I balded my peeka-boo into a Telly Savalis

Not quite Bali

but when on a budget


A Blonde needs the best bang for her buck!

I Am Winning

and in a real way, not the coked up Charlie way.

I feel better today. I still have money trouble but at least I can work that out.

Exercise is the main ingredient to feeling better.

For normal bouts of being down, you do not need a feel good pill to turn it around.

You need to mentally challenge yourself to get up and get moving.

Even if you hate it, it will help.

And when you feel better, things just seem to turn around for the better.

I actually got hit on by someone my age, super cute, and he is a Jewish dude from Boston

Bonus!!


Jewish men are awesome and if they are from the east coast, even better for me.

I have to replace Raine any way and this looks like a great replacement.

Even if I do not go out with this new attraction, just knowing I am not too old to find someone my own age...made my day.

The Blonde still has hope!

Beating the Blues

I could sit here and succumb to sorrow but its stupid to let bad thoughts win over good ones.

I watched Eat, Pray, Love and even though it was cheesy, it did kind of lift my spirits a bit.
Actually, it was just the part with Javier Bardot that did it for me.

And I actually learned something about my life from watching it. While the money situation gets me down, its not what really upsets me.

What upsets me is being alone in this life and realizing men just aren't what they used to be when I was young. They all are a bit self centered and unwilling to fall in love and care for a woman.

Every date I have been on starts with the same verbage, "I already married and took care of someone, I am not going to do that again."

Great!

How would you like me to say on a first date, " I have been nothing but a sex toy for guys and I am not going to do that anymore!!"

Would I get a call back?

Hell no.

And neither are these guys. I am just pissed I wasted me time and one back end of a car on the last two.

They so were not worth my jag looking like a rumpled tuna can.

Anyhoo,

Today I beat the living crap out of the tennis ball and my opponent on the court.

It felt good to hit the ball.

I was dark and moody and didn't want to leave the house but I have to catch those thoughts and beat them out along with the tennis ball.

I have to keep fighting this feeling until passes. Its a mental challenge but so is tennis.

I can't be with a man right now and I am sad to think that I may very well end up alone forever.

I go to school and work from the house...the only way I could meet men is through online dating and there is seriously something wrong with a human catalog. It makes people not invest in someone for the right reasons.

Its a soulless endeavor that only follows money and external beauty.

I just can't stand the thought of selling my soul to another man that really has no interest in anything but finding a companion that doesn't interrupt their life.

Love is not just for the young but it seems as I grow older that it might not ever find me...and that breaks me more than being broke.

So I am feeding the personal kitty...

I am investing in myself....

and although my market share is down right now...

I will pick up and hopefully...


one day...

I might actually be happy again.



The Blonde is just a little worn from the fight!!

Sludge Day

I am down and rock bottomed out on my thoughts.

After dealing with Capital One and a merchant dispute in which they might find in favor of the deceptive advertising dicks..

After driving by Sandra Bullock and seeing a glimpse of what a wonderful life can be filled with...

After knowing I am late on bills and have to pawn yet another piece of jewelry...

After listening to callers on the radio asking for help becuase they are about to lose everything...

I got hit hard emotionally yesterday...

and pissing off with a bottle of wine seems like the only good way to end a day...

but...

I have to keep moving ahead

This will pass

I am not pissing 2 years of school away...

Who knows if my life is going to get better...

It might just end up that it will suck forever in which case taking my beater car and driving it into the ocean and letting the tides pull me out to sea might be a great option...

One day...

but for now...

The Blonde is treading!!

O-hell-io

Thanks for the fave, you were the only hit, but as you can read or about to begin to read,

The men I have had the unfortunate circumstance of dating have burnt the last bit of anything good I might have had in me.

I am sure you are a great guy but I am no longer a great chick to deal with.

And no offense, but are you kidding?


Me in Ohio?

The women would have me black-balled, tarred, and feathered before I stepped a foot into your house.


Besides,

now


I am just buying time in law school....

How can I possibly be an attorney when I hate the clothes I would have to wear in court...

there is no such thing as a sexy suit...

and even if there were...

My expiration date is marked.

I turned sour!!



The Blonde has no high on anything!

Life As I Know It

isn't worth a life at all.

I do believe in reincarnation. After taking physics, you learn that life, a person, is energy and energy does not die. It goes somewhere.

Energy will never be more nor less than what it is...so for everyone that dies, something lives.

I am ready to live another life. This one really has not panned out.

I am playing gout a false facade of school, men, and one day having something.

It is never going to happen.

At my age, I am all but done with hope. I just want to be able to pass on my journals of 30 years so maybe, one day, some one can understand that sometimes, you just can't fix broken.

No matter how hard I laugh and smile and try to work this world out, I just can't do it any more.

Nothing is funny any more, not even the douche bags I date.

Its all just a hopeless comedy that would be better sold when I am gone.

So sit back and enjoy the tragedy and comedy of 30 some odd years of my life.

If I were manic, I could have these journals up in a month but I am just your average moth in the the yellow light taking awhile to burn out.

The Blonde has only so much to live for!