Its time to make Momo laugh so I am going to embarrass her with a tid bit about BigDaddy.
I was up all last night trying to tweak BigDaddy's internet connection for faster streamlining of his videos. I would like to say he was streaming reruns of M.A.S.H. , for Momo's sake, but he wasn't. He was having trouble with his YouPorn and he asked me, his not so innocent, not so young daughter to fix the buffering time.
Big Daddy loves his porn and in his older gentile age, he is not shy about it.
I want him to have a happy homecoming and so I was busy working on it last night for him. I don't know exactly what video he was interested in but I am fairly certain I do not want to know.
Growing up, I used to peak at his Variations books. They were filled with erotic stories and after reading a page or two, my face would go red and I would laugh and carefully put the book back in the top left hand drawer under the sink counter.
Later on in his porn pursuit, he began amassing a large video collection in his closet. When Boo was in the house and old enough to be curious, that was his way of learning about the sexual side of life.
Than BigDaddy got cable and the Playboy channels kept his interest but he was always dissappointed with the soft side of that cable channel. When I installed the internet for him and Momo, Big Daddy discovered internet porn, and knowing I was a hacker, he would ask me for the codes and sites to watch for free. I gladly gave it to him.
Now with YouPorn, BigDaddy watches free as a bird and is now a seasoned and fearless master of porn, treading the masses of internet amatuer sites, when Momo goes to bed.
When Boo came home last night to see BigDaddy, he asked me what I was doing. Being from a family that is open and honest about everything, I told him exactly what I was up to. Boo is a bit more reserved than the rest of us but he is still young and has the good sense to be embarrassed abut things so I waited for his rolled eyed reaction but he didn't bat an eye.
He just grinned and said, "Guys love their Porn."
And we love BigDaddy.
BigDaddy is coming home next week and will be faced with the fact that he can't do many things but watching his porn won't be one of them.
The Blonde fixed his buffer!!
2.07.2009
Oh Lord
Here comes the family!
You know the real pain in knowing someone is ill, is in the family dynamics that accompanies this knowledge. All of the sudden everyone goes into crisis mode. When slapped in the face with someone's life span coming to a close, we can't help but look at the bruise of our own mortality in the mirror and the rationalities we have been making for our own lives.
Holy Cow!!
Here comes everyone trying to resolve everything.
Dear family,
Chill out.
Don't be coming here with a heap of remorse about anything you have ever done. For Christ sakes we all know each other way too well to ever hold each others issues as personal attack against one another.
We are an emotional family.
We have issues.
We have complaints.
We have arguments.
That is who we are.
But we also love each other so much that it hurts us when one of us is hurting.
I don't want anyone hurting so I am going to spare you the emotional turmoil that you like to whip up in drama time by asking you to ask yourself one simple little, itty, bitty question.
Do you love your family?
Yes!!
Yes you do!!
That is all you need to ask yourself.
That is all you need to know to resolve past issues that are old plays and need not to find a new stage.
All this ridiculousness of thinking we didn't do enough to show our love is ridiculous. I know my family and yes, we are all, the biggest pain in the rears since the elephant began walking this earth, but we love each other for better or worse and there isn't anyone in our family that doesn't know that.
So when you come here, enjoy the fighting, the nit picking, the teasing, the laughing, the joking, the crying and most importantly enjoy the big glorious dysfunctional orgy that is our family.
Blondes can't wait for the fun to begin!!
You know the real pain in knowing someone is ill, is in the family dynamics that accompanies this knowledge. All of the sudden everyone goes into crisis mode. When slapped in the face with someone's life span coming to a close, we can't help but look at the bruise of our own mortality in the mirror and the rationalities we have been making for our own lives.
Holy Cow!!
Here comes everyone trying to resolve everything.
Dear family,
Chill out.
Don't be coming here with a heap of remorse about anything you have ever done. For Christ sakes we all know each other way too well to ever hold each others issues as personal attack against one another.
We are an emotional family.
We have issues.
We have complaints.
We have arguments.
That is who we are.
But we also love each other so much that it hurts us when one of us is hurting.
I don't want anyone hurting so I am going to spare you the emotional turmoil that you like to whip up in drama time by asking you to ask yourself one simple little, itty, bitty question.
Do you love your family?
Yes!!
Yes you do!!
That is all you need to ask yourself.
That is all you need to know to resolve past issues that are old plays and need not to find a new stage.
All this ridiculousness of thinking we didn't do enough to show our love is ridiculous. I know my family and yes, we are all, the biggest pain in the rears since the elephant began walking this earth, but we love each other for better or worse and there isn't anyone in our family that doesn't know that.
So when you come here, enjoy the fighting, the nit picking, the teasing, the laughing, the joking, the crying and most importantly enjoy the big glorious dysfunctional orgy that is our family.
Blondes can't wait for the fun to begin!!
2.06.2009
Big Blue Eyes
Did you know if you cry all day that you can make your eyes look like they have been beaten in by a rabid boxing kangaroo?
My eyes are so swollen and dark from rubbing them all day that I look like one of the Olsen twins on a cocaine binge.
Today, my number one goal is to get through it without crying. If I rub my eye sockets anymore, my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head and roll down the street to get away from my emotional wreck of a head.
I am going to fail miserably because I know I have to go with Momo and Boo to see Big Daddy today but my goal is to get to through the hospital's sliding doors before weeping like a willow.
The Blonde isn't seeing clearly!!!
2.04.2009
Endowment
I take little steps to perfect my appearance, like most Blondes do.
long hair
bronzer
make up
shaving
waxing
butt tightening exercises
pedicures
manicures
Blondes go through a lot to look good for our self and male attention. We could care less of what other women think of us. After all, this isn't a competition. Its just about being a Blonde.
I know there will always be someone prettier, thinner, hotter, and younger than me.
The most I can do is be happy about myself, and what makes me happy, is feeling good about my looks.
In my quest for superficial satisfaction I have been sporting fake french tips for a while and enjoy them. I do have trouble with a few things because of them but they aren't life threatening unless I need to call 911 in a hurry, which is near impossible, considering my nails get in the way of punching the telephone keys.
Other than dialing and texting, I never viewed my nails as a problem, until today. Today, I went to the store for some vitamins and when I went to pay for them, some coins dropped from my wallet. The woman behind me, who looked like she was using every ounce of her last dollar to buy groceries for the week said, "You dropped your change, aren't you gonna get it?"
My normal reply is no, it is just change, but I didn't want her to think I was above the economic hardship of everyone else, so I tried to pick a quarter up just to prove to myself that I am not above anyone.
That squabbly little round coin refused to tip into my hand. I looked like an idiot trying to grab a quarter that someone had glued to the floor. I was literally squatting on the floor trying to pick up a quarter I could care less about just to appease some stranger!
What is wrong with this picture?
Every time I try to make myself seem like a better person by being guilted into an action I am not comfortable with, I end up looking like an idiot. So what, if I don't care about my change? Someone else can use it and I see it as charity. How much nicer do I need to be?
Next time, I am sticking to my instinct to leave anything under a dollar on the floor.
I stood up in disgust, thinking I shouldn't have gone for the coin, for any reason or anyone. If she was so concerned, why didn't she help me pick the change up? Maybe she just likes making a Blonde look down on her luck, to make her feel better about herself, which is funny, because that is what I tried to do, by picking up the darn coin in the first place!
I looked back at the woman and just said, "If I need a quarter that bad, I will stop getting my nails done." I paid for my vits and left.
Afterward, I shook off the incident by going to a local boutique and bought a dress a size too small and a price tag too big to justify a half a yard of paper thin cotton fabric, but I fell in love with it and that made it seem worthy of its price. It is a hot little dress with a lace up front. I tried to fix the laces but my nails wouldn't let me loosen the knot.
I thought karma is kicking me because I was arrogant about my loose change but then I remembered, I can't tie my shoes, put on my bracelets, or button my bra strap in back because of my fake tips.
Its not karma, its just the stupidity I have to go through for being enslaved to my looks.
Thank God!!
Blondes don't stoop for money!!
long hair
bronzer
make up
shaving
waxing
butt tightening exercises
pedicures
manicures
Blondes go through a lot to look good for our self and male attention. We could care less of what other women think of us. After all, this isn't a competition. Its just about being a Blonde.
I know there will always be someone prettier, thinner, hotter, and younger than me.
The most I can do is be happy about myself, and what makes me happy, is feeling good about my looks.
In my quest for superficial satisfaction I have been sporting fake french tips for a while and enjoy them. I do have trouble with a few things because of them but they aren't life threatening unless I need to call 911 in a hurry, which is near impossible, considering my nails get in the way of punching the telephone keys.
Other than dialing and texting, I never viewed my nails as a problem, until today. Today, I went to the store for some vitamins and when I went to pay for them, some coins dropped from my wallet. The woman behind me, who looked like she was using every ounce of her last dollar to buy groceries for the week said, "You dropped your change, aren't you gonna get it?"
My normal reply is no, it is just change, but I didn't want her to think I was above the economic hardship of everyone else, so I tried to pick a quarter up just to prove to myself that I am not above anyone.
That squabbly little round coin refused to tip into my hand. I looked like an idiot trying to grab a quarter that someone had glued to the floor. I was literally squatting on the floor trying to pick up a quarter I could care less about just to appease some stranger!
What is wrong with this picture?
Every time I try to make myself seem like a better person by being guilted into an action I am not comfortable with, I end up looking like an idiot. So what, if I don't care about my change? Someone else can use it and I see it as charity. How much nicer do I need to be?
Next time, I am sticking to my instinct to leave anything under a dollar on the floor.
I stood up in disgust, thinking I shouldn't have gone for the coin, for any reason or anyone. If she was so concerned, why didn't she help me pick the change up? Maybe she just likes making a Blonde look down on her luck, to make her feel better about herself, which is funny, because that is what I tried to do, by picking up the darn coin in the first place!
I looked back at the woman and just said, "If I need a quarter that bad, I will stop getting my nails done." I paid for my vits and left.
Afterward, I shook off the incident by going to a local boutique and bought a dress a size too small and a price tag too big to justify a half a yard of paper thin cotton fabric, but I fell in love with it and that made it seem worthy of its price. It is a hot little dress with a lace up front. I tried to fix the laces but my nails wouldn't let me loosen the knot.
I thought karma is kicking me because I was arrogant about my loose change but then I remembered, I can't tie my shoes, put on my bracelets, or button my bra strap in back because of my fake tips.
Its not karma, its just the stupidity I have to go through for being enslaved to my looks.
Thank God!!
Blondes don't stoop for money!!
Detoxing at The V Spa
I have been going a little harder, on weekends, than I should and it is time to check out of the scene for a bit, or at least this week before the weekend starts again.
I am hiding low and working on staying in shape. I don't like to exercise too much, I am afraid my body might get used to it and demand a daily regimen, and if I fail it will turn against me and become my enemy in the war to stay thin and young.
I have noticed people who take their sports to extremes tend to look older and unnatural, especially women; their cut muscles and over tanned skin look unappealing to me in the sense that I do not wish to mimic them. I do, however, like to stay healthy and unfortunately sex isn't included in the physical sport arena.
I prefer living in moderation with everything. When I feel my life is unbalanced in one direction, like going out too much or writing too much, I recorrect it and work on a part of my life that has been neglected and for now that is my physical well being.
We all need to reassess our situation as often we can. We need to know and understand when our world needs more time for work, more time for play, more time for relationships, or more time to goof off and be as decadent as Bacchus...or less of it!
The Blonde is busy being a moderate!!!
I am hiding low and working on staying in shape. I don't like to exercise too much, I am afraid my body might get used to it and demand a daily regimen, and if I fail it will turn against me and become my enemy in the war to stay thin and young.
I have noticed people who take their sports to extremes tend to look older and unnatural, especially women; their cut muscles and over tanned skin look unappealing to me in the sense that I do not wish to mimic them. I do, however, like to stay healthy and unfortunately sex isn't included in the physical sport arena.
I prefer living in moderation with everything. When I feel my life is unbalanced in one direction, like going out too much or writing too much, I recorrect it and work on a part of my life that has been neglected and for now that is my physical well being.
We all need to reassess our situation as often we can. We need to know and understand when our world needs more time for work, more time for play, more time for relationships, or more time to goof off and be as decadent as Bacchus...or less of it!
The Blonde is busy being a moderate!!!
2.02.2009
The Promise Land
How many promises have been broken over the years?
We all have made them, we all have broken them.
Promises made in front of an alter, in front of God and family, only to say...Oops..I really just meant the better part; I was crossing my fingers when I said I would stick around for the worst.
I guess I am a bit cynical about marriage because I have been single for so long. I hear too many stories of bad break ups and divorces. It scares me to think I will end up being someones mistake, only to become their entertaining fodder of evil relationships to a future date.
I have to consider the fact that I have a few gents out there that carry on about me in a negative light; but I am fairly certain it was not because I was really a bad seed but more a sour apple that didn't fit their tastes.
I have a few antidotes of my own that I share with new dates but it is more along the lines of why we didn't fit, as opposed to trashing someone to make me look like an angel.
I have no idea why I haven't traveled down the long isle that turns down the marriage road. I guess, I have never found the one that I think I can spend my life with. If I ever marry, I would like to think it will be the promise I never break. But the more I hear about marriage from the unhappy sector, and the more I read about Internet sites that placate to adultery, like its the new therapy for dysfunctional marriages, I have to wonder?
Is the gesture of a wedding just a symbolic joke?
Do people marry for love anymore?
Or do they marry to keep up appearances and hold onto the old myth of the American dream?
I saw "Revolutionary Road" and while it swung more to the dramatic sense of a dismal life for those who want more than what society dictates, there were some very valid points to be made to those that fall prey to the antiquated version of a family.
Too often, rules of the social norm get twisted into a deformed sense of reality. And from this twisted thought of reality, comes the very real and ugly end to many of the futile relationships it spawned.
Too many children's lives are disrupted by the anger of divorce, and by parents, that are so selfish in their desire to hurt one another, because they refuse to take responsibility for their half of a failed marriage; and too many children are put through endless battles they must witness before dinner time, because Mummy and Daddy are staying together, no matter how much they dislike each other, for the sake of them.
This is the 21st century and children of single parent households can be just as well adjusted, if not more, than children in a two parent household and probably more adjusted than their peers in a divorced household. And just to set the record straight, if you are a divorced parent and share custody, you are not a single parent.
Modern day relationships have no ability to handle a life long commitment. The "Save Marriage Act" is a joke. Why is our democracy involving themselves in a dispute of what a marriage is based on a religious definition? What ever happened to the separation of church and state?
Didn't we flee Britain because the church had too much say in our lives?
Marriages are failing all around us, not because of the sexual orientation of partners, but because sexual desires aren't being met in the bedroom.
Grow Up America...because the world is growing around you and the vintage version of life taught in the 5 minute sermon between the musical entertainment at your Mega Church is promising a dead end.
Blondes are taking a higher road of education!!
We all have made them, we all have broken them.
Promises made in front of an alter, in front of God and family, only to say...Oops..I really just meant the better part; I was crossing my fingers when I said I would stick around for the worst.
I guess I am a bit cynical about marriage because I have been single for so long. I hear too many stories of bad break ups and divorces. It scares me to think I will end up being someones mistake, only to become their entertaining fodder of evil relationships to a future date.
I have to consider the fact that I have a few gents out there that carry on about me in a negative light; but I am fairly certain it was not because I was really a bad seed but more a sour apple that didn't fit their tastes.
I have a few antidotes of my own that I share with new dates but it is more along the lines of why we didn't fit, as opposed to trashing someone to make me look like an angel.
I have no idea why I haven't traveled down the long isle that turns down the marriage road. I guess, I have never found the one that I think I can spend my life with. If I ever marry, I would like to think it will be the promise I never break. But the more I hear about marriage from the unhappy sector, and the more I read about Internet sites that placate to adultery, like its the new therapy for dysfunctional marriages, I have to wonder?
Is the gesture of a wedding just a symbolic joke?
Do people marry for love anymore?
Or do they marry to keep up appearances and hold onto the old myth of the American dream?
I saw "Revolutionary Road" and while it swung more to the dramatic sense of a dismal life for those who want more than what society dictates, there were some very valid points to be made to those that fall prey to the antiquated version of a family.
Too often, rules of the social norm get twisted into a deformed sense of reality. And from this twisted thought of reality, comes the very real and ugly end to many of the futile relationships it spawned.
Too many children's lives are disrupted by the anger of divorce, and by parents, that are so selfish in their desire to hurt one another, because they refuse to take responsibility for their half of a failed marriage; and too many children are put through endless battles they must witness before dinner time, because Mummy and Daddy are staying together, no matter how much they dislike each other, for the sake of them.
This is the 21st century and children of single parent households can be just as well adjusted, if not more, than children in a two parent household and probably more adjusted than their peers in a divorced household. And just to set the record straight, if you are a divorced parent and share custody, you are not a single parent.
Modern day relationships have no ability to handle a life long commitment. The "Save Marriage Act" is a joke. Why is our democracy involving themselves in a dispute of what a marriage is based on a religious definition? What ever happened to the separation of church and state?
Didn't we flee Britain because the church had too much say in our lives?
Marriages are failing all around us, not because of the sexual orientation of partners, but because sexual desires aren't being met in the bedroom.
Grow Up America...because the world is growing around you and the vintage version of life taught in the 5 minute sermon between the musical entertainment at your Mega Church is promising a dead end.
Blondes are taking a higher road of education!!
1.30.2009
Its Not Time to Be Qiuet
It is not the time to be congenial or charming. It is time for the Blonde to stand up and speak!!
Did Martin Luther King stop his speeches because of threats?
Did Bobby Kennedy give in to fear?
Did anyone worthy of a voice of peace and hope and truth cave into malicious attacks on their person?
No!!
And neither will I.
I have been guilty of pandering to those around me to speak a softer mind, to be funnier, to be more congeal in my attacks on society and personal encounters; but no more!!
I have had enough of the passive aggressive society I live in and I am going to turn this world upside down and find the good in all of you, with the tough love you need!!
I am sick of placating to a world that won't take responsibility!
Learn to play chess!
Learn Newton's law of physics!!
Learn science!
Learn all religions!
Learn other culture!
Learn, learn, learn!!
Blondes can't teach a stupid crowd!
Did Martin Luther King stop his speeches because of threats?
Did Bobby Kennedy give in to fear?
Did anyone worthy of a voice of peace and hope and truth cave into malicious attacks on their person?
No!!
And neither will I.
I have been guilty of pandering to those around me to speak a softer mind, to be funnier, to be more congeal in my attacks on society and personal encounters; but no more!!
I have had enough of the passive aggressive society I live in and I am going to turn this world upside down and find the good in all of you, with the tough love you need!!
I am sick of placating to a world that won't take responsibility!
Learn to play chess!
Learn Newton's law of physics!!
Learn science!
Learn all religions!
Learn other culture!
Learn, learn, learn!!
Blondes can't teach a stupid crowd!
Love in the Time of.....
everything.
It is the time now, and then, and forever beyond. It has no limits and I fear my only curse on this earth is that I let myself love all of earth's creatures; including man.
And man is the saddest let down of all!!
I love animals so much that I worry every time it freezes, because I know there are people that chain their pets to a fence or won't let them in the house when its cold because they are allergic to them. I wonder why they have to hurt them? Why must they own an animal that they call a family pet but treat it like a rodent.
Please don't teach an animal to be sufficient on your love, when you have no love to give them!!
I hate zoo's because I see wild animals that committed no crime being locked up and fenced in an environment that makes them a novelty to human society. I thought we have out grown the age of the elephant man, but we haven't grown at all.
Evolution should be that which evolves us to a better understanding of all creatures, but we can only see ourselves; our selfish selves!!
We don't care how the cow is killed, only how the steak tastes.
We don't care how the homeless survive, just as long as they don't live near us.
We don't care to change the world, we care only that our children cash in on our new found dough and we teach them that they are above others who don't have as much.
I really think parents are missing the point of Darwin's theory. The jock without a brain dating the pretty girl with a Prada bag equals another idiot born into society.
Footballs and handbags only go so far!!
What a shame that you think your kid is here to right some wrong that you suffered as a child.
Our children live off of our insecurity and continue the sad notion of some antiquated thought on God. We are stuck in believing in a bible that was only written to secure the power of a church and its belief of chastising those that don't fit the norm.
The rapture, if it comes, is not to cleanse the unrighteous, but to cleanse the righteous from this earth, so the humble and beautiful within, can find security in a place without judgment and live an equal existence to everything in nature as it should be.
The bible is a blasphemy to God and all his creatures.
You know what bothers me the most about loving this world? It is the fact that every living creature other than man has found their Utopia on this earth. Every creature, other than man, only takes what they need to survive and live happy.
They do not invade.
They do not steal
They do not rape
They do not murder
They do not torture
They do not enslave
They do not have anger
They do not have revenge
They do not have a bible
We as humans should hope for our distinction for the survival of species that has and always will be superior to us!!
The bible was not written by God but by man that wants control!!
Heaven is for those who know, their life is equal to all the species God gave life to!!!
The Blonde does not believe in man's religion and wonders why humans can not evolve past a piece of fiction!!
It is the time now, and then, and forever beyond. It has no limits and I fear my only curse on this earth is that I let myself love all of earth's creatures; including man.
And man is the saddest let down of all!!
I love animals so much that I worry every time it freezes, because I know there are people that chain their pets to a fence or won't let them in the house when its cold because they are allergic to them. I wonder why they have to hurt them? Why must they own an animal that they call a family pet but treat it like a rodent.
Please don't teach an animal to be sufficient on your love, when you have no love to give them!!
I hate zoo's because I see wild animals that committed no crime being locked up and fenced in an environment that makes them a novelty to human society. I thought we have out grown the age of the elephant man, but we haven't grown at all.
Evolution should be that which evolves us to a better understanding of all creatures, but we can only see ourselves; our selfish selves!!
We don't care how the cow is killed, only how the steak tastes.
We don't care how the homeless survive, just as long as they don't live near us.
We don't care to change the world, we care only that our children cash in on our new found dough and we teach them that they are above others who don't have as much.
I really think parents are missing the point of Darwin's theory. The jock without a brain dating the pretty girl with a Prada bag equals another idiot born into society.
Footballs and handbags only go so far!!
What a shame that you think your kid is here to right some wrong that you suffered as a child.
Our children live off of our insecurity and continue the sad notion of some antiquated thought on God. We are stuck in believing in a bible that was only written to secure the power of a church and its belief of chastising those that don't fit the norm.
The rapture, if it comes, is not to cleanse the unrighteous, but to cleanse the righteous from this earth, so the humble and beautiful within, can find security in a place without judgment and live an equal existence to everything in nature as it should be.
The bible is a blasphemy to God and all his creatures.
You know what bothers me the most about loving this world? It is the fact that every living creature other than man has found their Utopia on this earth. Every creature, other than man, only takes what they need to survive and live happy.
They do not invade.
They do not steal
They do not rape
They do not murder
They do not torture
They do not enslave
They do not have anger
They do not have revenge
They do not have a bible
We as humans should hope for our distinction for the survival of species that has and always will be superior to us!!
The bible was not written by God but by man that wants control!!
Heaven is for those who know, their life is equal to all the species God gave life to!!!
The Blonde does not believe in man's religion and wonders why humans can not evolve past a piece of fiction!!
1.29.2009
If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say
you shouldn't say anything at all.
I think I am going to take that advice and chill on the blog until I can find my funny again.
Lately I have been suffering allergies and working double time in the blogosphere and it is beginning to make me a little cranky, as evident by my recent posts.
I am going to settle in new lanscape this weekend and take a rest.
The Blonde's mouth is on holiday!!
I think I am going to take that advice and chill on the blog until I can find my funny again.
Lately I have been suffering allergies and working double time in the blogosphere and it is beginning to make me a little cranky, as evident by my recent posts.
I am going to settle in new lanscape this weekend and take a rest.
The Blonde's mouth is on holiday!!
Cut the Thread
How the heck do I stop a thread? I made the mistake of commenting on one little thing about children and parents and now I have to suffer the consequences of the idiotic responses emailed to me.
My comment was made in reference to a Mother that chastised little girls for wearing t-shirts that say "Girls rule, Boys drool". Personally I find that cute and funny but I am not a menopausal woman with a four year old.
As far as my opinion meter getting the best of me...I would have to say it was the use of the words hussy and street walker to describe the latest tween fashion.
Are you sure your not the Grandma?
In response to thongs being sold at the GAP for kids, I can agree. But only because I think thongs are stupid in general. Thongs are a gold mine to retail. You make something that costs less than 10 cents and sell it for $20, promote it as the newest and greatest thing and women will grab hold of it.
I wish I thought of a way to sell lace scraps as underwear and make a fortune!!
The beginning of the blog actually started because the meno Mom and her husband couldn't get over the fact tweens were texting through dinner at the table adjacent to them. My question was; if your such a great family unit, why do you need to occupy dinner conversation judging other people?
Whenever my sisters and I had a complaint about someone's behavior at the dinner table my Mother would say, "Look at your own plate."
Brilliant advice Mum!!!
Sometimes I want to scream at the stupidity of people and ask that they not breed until they pass a parent aptitude test. Unfortunately, they don't have one.
Ooh
Ooh
Can I make the test?!!
Please?
Pretty please with dumb parents on top?!!
I went nuts when a thread of a 'tech savvy Mom' suggesting they text along with their kid as a way of keeping it real.
Seriously?!
Have parents gone AWALL?
Stop having kids in between your hot flashes.
I swear to Gah there is such a thing as too old...Larry King!!
If a parent thinks they are in tune with their tween because they are savvy enough to master a download that will program their iphone to send them a text, reminding them to smile at their kid every four hours...I can understand why the Mayans stopped the clock at 2012.
Blondes hope the rapture unravels the fabric!!
My comment was made in reference to a Mother that chastised little girls for wearing t-shirts that say "Girls rule, Boys drool". Personally I find that cute and funny but I am not a menopausal woman with a four year old.
As far as my opinion meter getting the best of me...I would have to say it was the use of the words hussy and street walker to describe the latest tween fashion.
Are you sure your not the Grandma?
In response to thongs being sold at the GAP for kids, I can agree. But only because I think thongs are stupid in general. Thongs are a gold mine to retail. You make something that costs less than 10 cents and sell it for $20, promote it as the newest and greatest thing and women will grab hold of it.
I wish I thought of a way to sell lace scraps as underwear and make a fortune!!
The beginning of the blog actually started because the meno Mom and her husband couldn't get over the fact tweens were texting through dinner at the table adjacent to them. My question was; if your such a great family unit, why do you need to occupy dinner conversation judging other people?
Whenever my sisters and I had a complaint about someone's behavior at the dinner table my Mother would say, "Look at your own plate."
Brilliant advice Mum!!!
Sometimes I want to scream at the stupidity of people and ask that they not breed until they pass a parent aptitude test. Unfortunately, they don't have one.
Ooh
Ooh
Can I make the test?!!
Please?
Pretty please with dumb parents on top?!!
I went nuts when a thread of a 'tech savvy Mom' suggesting they text along with their kid as a way of keeping it real.
Seriously?!
Have parents gone AWALL?
Stop having kids in between your hot flashes.
I swear to Gah there is such a thing as too old...Larry King!!
If a parent thinks they are in tune with their tween because they are savvy enough to master a download that will program their iphone to send them a text, reminding them to smile at their kid every four hours...I can understand why the Mayans stopped the clock at 2012.
Blondes hope the rapture unravels the fabric!!
1.28.2009
On Edge
I am in a weird mood tonight, I can not seem to relax and I am on edge. My cat Lela, either feels my angst or she is feeling something in the air as well. Like a cattle hound, she roped all the cats into my bedroom and stood next to a door that was inadvertently unlocked. Now she is checking the inside perimeter of the house.
I have to locate her before she shiats on something.
Blondes usually like being edgy!!!
I have to locate her before she shiats on something.
Blondes usually like being edgy!!!
1.26.2009
The Blonde Feminist
I recently read a post about "What Women Want?", written by a man commenting on the works of a new and upcoming female sexologist. To the journalists credit, he found the study as inconsequential as I did.
I don't even know how you end up with a doctorate in Sexology? I looked on the web and it seems to me you can just claim it without a degree. After all, what university is going to teach sex as a main course, other than the Kinsey Institute and we know what a perv he was!
The article doesn't question what women want-that's just the title- it questions our motivation for sex. In other words, how can the sexologist sell her findings to a pharmaceutical company to enhance female lust.
The sexologist failed to comment whether the women were married, single, young, old, fat, thin, pretty, or ugly. She failed to say her findings were anything but a red line of data on her hard drive after plugging in comment cards from willing participants who watched videos while strapped to a contraption measuring body response.
I must admit, I skimmed most of the dribble, but I read enough to arouse my opinion. You can read it as well:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/
The comments are even more enlightening.
The article suggests women are more emotional in their desire for sex. I certainly know how emotional I feel when I turn on my neck massager.
Using a vaginal plethysmograph to measure blood flow after watching sex of different orientations sends data to a computer which is later interpreted to a graph of bologna. Maybe its not arousal but the sensation of being embarrassed watching gay porn with wires clipped to your tutu. I can't bring myself to watch Brokeback Mountain let alone watch two guys getting it on donkey kong style. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of gay friends but I tell them, just like I tell my hetero friends, "You can't have sex on my coffee table when guests are around."
The whole premise of the study is to discover why women are sexually dysfunctional. We are not dysfunctional just because we can't keep up with the abnormalities of a 24/7 hard on induced by Viagra.
Stop making women feel inadequate with your Kinsey Freak reports. I can tell you as a single woman, I have just as much drive as a man. Now, if I were idiot enough to get married under the femi-natzi 'having it all' guide book, you can bet; dropping down naked in a sexual fantasy for my husband after I worked all day, shuffled the kids to and fro, cooked and cleaned until the Late Show came on..your damn right their would be a dis in my sexual function.
We don't need sexologists telling us we suck because we don't suck enough. We don't need Glaxo to come up with a pill. We don't need to watch baboons getting it on to see if we feel like getting it on. We need a new attitude about ourselves.
You know what Women want?
They want to look in the mirror every day and say, "Damn!! I look good!!"
Which is a pretty hard thing to come by when the media and the online dating sites makes you feel like a worthless old heifer after the age of 28 and wear anything over a size 2.
The Blonde will see you now!!
I don't even know how you end up with a doctorate in Sexology? I looked on the web and it seems to me you can just claim it without a degree. After all, what university is going to teach sex as a main course, other than the Kinsey Institute and we know what a perv he was!
The article doesn't question what women want-that's just the title- it questions our motivation for sex. In other words, how can the sexologist sell her findings to a pharmaceutical company to enhance female lust.
The sexologist failed to comment whether the women were married, single, young, old, fat, thin, pretty, or ugly. She failed to say her findings were anything but a red line of data on her hard drive after plugging in comment cards from willing participants who watched videos while strapped to a contraption measuring body response.
I must admit, I skimmed most of the dribble, but I read enough to arouse my opinion. You can read it as well:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/
The comments are even more enlightening.
The article suggests women are more emotional in their desire for sex. I certainly know how emotional I feel when I turn on my neck massager.
Using a vaginal plethysmograph to measure blood flow after watching sex of different orientations sends data to a computer which is later interpreted to a graph of bologna. Maybe its not arousal but the sensation of being embarrassed watching gay porn with wires clipped to your tutu. I can't bring myself to watch Brokeback Mountain let alone watch two guys getting it on donkey kong style. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of gay friends but I tell them, just like I tell my hetero friends, "You can't have sex on my coffee table when guests are around."
The whole premise of the study is to discover why women are sexually dysfunctional. We are not dysfunctional just because we can't keep up with the abnormalities of a 24/7 hard on induced by Viagra.
Stop making women feel inadequate with your Kinsey Freak reports. I can tell you as a single woman, I have just as much drive as a man. Now, if I were idiot enough to get married under the femi-natzi 'having it all' guide book, you can bet; dropping down naked in a sexual fantasy for my husband after I worked all day, shuffled the kids to and fro, cooked and cleaned until the Late Show came on..your damn right their would be a dis in my sexual function.
We don't need sexologists telling us we suck because we don't suck enough. We don't need Glaxo to come up with a pill. We don't need to watch baboons getting it on to see if we feel like getting it on. We need a new attitude about ourselves.
You know what Women want?
They want to look in the mirror every day and say, "Damn!! I look good!!"
Which is a pretty hard thing to come by when the media and the online dating sites makes you feel like a worthless old heifer after the age of 28 and wear anything over a size 2.
The Blonde will see you now!!
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