No Pay

Craigslist really needs to add a 'No Pay' sub-category to their site.

I know there must be a huge slew of folks wanting to spend their gas money driving to and fro from a job that offers absolutely no benefit except for a pat on the back and all the junk food you can scarf down to help you ruin a girlish figure.

I worked for free on several indie shorts, and in the spirit of paying back the favor, I should offer free advertising on my blog. But really, didn't I already provide them a favor?! We're even!

Unless your an actor or actress, or are an integral part of a lighting crew, or man a camera, or building references; playing PA on a film has no real pay out. You won't work yourself up the corporate ladder making sure the lunch is set.

I could be wrong? The head of MGM just might like the way you slather mayo on his BLT, in one smooth stroke, enough to think you would be an asset in his business development office as a schmoozer.


The jobs that are offered for free aren't ones that warrant any respect nor any tutelage other than what you can gather on your own by standing around and listening from a distance of 20ft. away. Being a lowly PA does not warrant being up close and personal with the director, no matter how unfamous he is or will remain to be.

I learned that even on little sets that produce little movies with little budgets, big heads exist!!

If you really want to learn how films are done, take some classes in film or better yet, hire an excellent crew, who know what they are doing, and just become a Director!

As far as being a PA...from what I know, taking out the trash doesn't do anything for anyone's career unless they are a janitor!!

Blondes are worth every dime!!

Dear Parents

...of children under the age of 8.

Please understand that restaurants are not daycares with drinks. Your children do not need to be running around, screaming and playing tag while you blissfully filter out the noise you are so used to hearing on a daily basis.

I and every other customer do not have this ability to ignore high pitched screeches from little girls as big brother pulls on their ponytail as they dash around our tables. Nor do we laugh when they knock into the table and spill our frozen margaritas making everything sticky.

I am not a babysitter nor a bathroom attendant in a dacyare pottie. I would appreciate you accompany your little ones to the lue. I realize its extremely fun to bat the toilet paper until it comes off the role, my cats love it too!! That is the very reason cats aren't allowed in restaurants; you can't control them. Their manners are atrocious. You can't teach a cat to be polite and act accordingly without them thwacking you with a claw and laughing hysterically at you.

On the other hand, parents can be taught!! Some parents need to learn that society is made up of everyone and being respectful of others is the first lesson in teaching proper social etiquette to their children.

If you want a night out with your family, shouldn't the family be together, at the same table, all sitting down, enjoying each other?!

Blondes just want a little social change!!

PA is not for Pennsylvania

I am back in Austin working as a PA on an Indie Short.

I didn't realize that standing around all day trying to be quiet would be so exhausting!!


The Blonde will be back after a brief intermission!!

Continental to the Rescue

Thank Gah!! Continental is offering no advance purchase specials to victims of Ike.

I have just became a victim.
After dealing with savage conditions like a broken wine opener and the fact I forgot underwear, I am forced to hand wash, on a nightly basis, the one pair of panties I wore down here and the bikini I always pack, in case of emergency. I was not in panic mode because I thought in a day or two, I could replenish with a stop to the VS.

I just learned that Victoria Secret is still closed and will not reopen for another week. Sure, food is available, even gas but nail salons and lingerie stores apparently are not a priority. Are we not civilized here?

I can live without electricity, a broken wine opener, even without air condition, but living without putting on a fresh pair of cotton boy shorts with matching bra is mandatory!!

I need to find humanity and a fresh pair!!
Thanks to my fly boys at Continental, all hope is not lost.

I am flying out on the 'no advance notice' $129, over 500 miles ( $69 under 500), that Continental is offering to Houstonians until the 19th(must be used by the Oct 1st) in search of cute cupcake endowed panties and bra!!


Blondes need sanitary conditions!!

Go Back to India

My efforts to physically partake in the animal rescue has been thwarted.

No one is allowed on Galveston Island without official business. As a volunteer, I am not offically worthy!!

People were in line on the parkway for two hours before reaching a peace officer that bluntly told them to return from whence they came. They were not allowed in to see what has happened to their homes and their belongings. Its totally understandable their anger and frustration in this regard. The peace officer was also frustrated and in one instance he through a racial out lash at an Indian man in a minivan who was a little unruly.

Hey, we all have have had to deal with an unruly Indian man at one time or another whenever we have a credit dispute and our credit card company directs us overseas to deal with it but that doesn't make anyone want to throw disrespect their way.

Your a civil servant trying to keep the peace. If you can't handle being civilized in the midst of chaos, you don't deserve your badge!!



After dealing with a day long affair of bad juju in the air, it was time to blow off some steam at a local pub in the Woodlands.

After a few much needed Pinots, it was time for me to use the ladies lue. Imagine my frustration when I saw the sign pointing to a bookcase.

While I was waiting under the sign for some magical door to reveal itself, another patron came by and swung open the bookcase.

Poof!!

Magic!!

I feel like an idiot!!

Duh!!

When I got back to my table there was a slue of peace officers obviously looking for someone. They headed to the restrooms and stood under the same sign as I did, looking just as puzzled as I did.

All I could think about is how ironic the situation was.

The Indian dude followed the signs only to be frustrated not to find a way in too!!



Blondes aren't the only ones that are dumb!!

Helping the Cows Come Home

...and every other animal that has been displaced by the storm is on my agenda today but they do not need more volunteers, they do however need donations. Even a $5 donation will help.

Over a thousand horses and cows have drowned but there are at least 15,000 still needing help.
As far as helping animals over humans?

Its no contest for me this time especially after seeing the behavior of people who feel they are owed a generator so they can have air conditioning to watch their daytime television!! 

You can live without television and air conditioning for a few days!!

At least you have a house!!

Help out someone that doesn't gripe the world owes them something because they got left behind in the storm!!

Habitat for Horses

Houston SPCA

Blondes are donating to the Redneck Education Fund!!

Double Ikes!!

The mounties and the gates are guarding the gas pumps trying to keep people in line, literally and figuratively. There was one woman who blocked the pump because she refused to pay for premium..unfortunately premium was all that was left. I don't know what happened to that situation because my focus quickly moved to the grocery store.

I looked in the carts of shoppers and my mouth was barely able to remain quiet.

Is it really that important to rush out of your house to grab four cases of soda?

What?

Are you afraid you giant Houstonian arse might widdle away without its daily recommended 250 grams of sugar carbs?





The obese population of Houston ( #4 on the city of fatties list) loves their fast food and no natural disaster is going to stop them from woofing down on a double bacon flamed broiled whopper while their cars burn the very gas everyone is waiting in line for, waiting in the drive thru.

Can you say Super Size Me, Stupid!!


The Blonde knows better than that!!

Ikes!!

I just hit Houston and this is what I found after traversing empty gas stations and broken branches starting 30 miles outside the Harris County line. I am just thankful that my babies made the trip safely and I was able to tuck them away until I need them after a hard days work!!

Blondes need to be prepared for the worst!!

Will Call

One of my ex's from Texas needed me tonight.

He escaped the storm, coming to Austin, with a girl before the Ike hit. The girl left him alone, sick and with the hotel tab while she bailed on him for someone else!!

What kind of girl does that to one of my nice ex boyfriends?!

He has the flu, his animals are in an Austin shelter, and she left him without a car!!

I am not going to ask questions and I am not going to make snap judgments.

So, I took a minute to think about it..

She's a jerk and I hope karma kicks her bum while hanging on her other beau's boat this week on Lake Travis.

I have to take my wounded ex home to Houston tomorrow because of his animals not being kosher with rental cars, but to make light of a bad situation, I have planned a few rendezvous with some potential boyfriend material in Houston while I am there.

I am also loading my car with tons of bottled water for the water logged Galvestonians!!

Its amazing how well I handle a crisis.



Being charitable is good for a Blonde!!

Declawing Women

Seriously girls, you don't have to dig your claws in the back of a man that deeply to keep him. As a matter of fact, it doesn't mean you will get to keep him.

I swear the way some women behave, you would think there aren't enough men in the world to go around.


There are plenty, so loosen up!!

Seriously!!

I went out with the Captain and had to fend for a ride home on my own because he ran into a past fling that bogarted the entire evening and wasn't letting go. I had a fine time under the full moon on the deck of the club entertaining myself with my camera and photo ops with the patrons lacking good fashion sense.

Still I couldn't help but think how ridiculous this feline was. She was trying to get rid of me in such a 'caring' manner' telling me how tired I was and how I wanted to go home.

Actually, I did want to go home especially after she showed up!! Three is a crowd when one is insecure!!

She also was caring enough to try and hook me up with one of the gents at the billiard tables.

The Captain was drunk and I could see she was frustrated that I wasn't taking the hints so I excused myself and went home for his and my sake but only after she started kicking it up when she thought he was suggesting we stay in a hotel room together.

No menage toi!!

No menage toi!!

Duh!!


I was not planning on staying with him in an hotel room but I was going to end the evening with my friend whom I began the night with.


I think I have had enough of the Captain and his kitties. Let him pluck the claws out of his back by himself. His women are tiring and silly to a Blonde like me!!



Blondes date humanely!!

Hurricane Party

Not a drop of rain here in Austin but the wind is kicking a bit and the sky is gloomy.

I love it. I remember hurricane parties on the beach in N.C.. We would stay up all night waxing our boards in the candlelight and drink tequila until we couldn't stand. We would talk of the waves we would catch in the morning and play kiss in the dark.

Of course we never had to go through a class 2 hurricane (would that be orange or green in George W numbers?) but we did party through some real gusts and of course we made a drinking game out of it. Every time the candles blew out, you drank!!

It was a grand ole time for a bunch of college girls that didn't own anything that would have been missed if damaged or drowned in the 'cane. Other than our boards and our boyfriends we were safe from any collateral damage.

Speaking of collateral damage. We have a small disaster forming in Austin. Beside the winds blowing in, so have three of my Houston men. Seems the storm had them evacuate to their lake houses in the Hill country.

All of them!!

This weekend!!


I am whipping up excuses and rearranging schedules with as much fury as Ike.

I will keep you posted through the eye of my men!!


Blondes hate getting caught in a storm!!

I Walk the Line

Oh, I walked more than my share of the line alright.

I walked my toes off in New York City and I ran my bum off in Central Park. Each time walking and running twice as far to get back to my original destination because I got lost most of the time. I would use the subway, go in the wrong direction, and have to walk back and start over.

And what did I get for all my walking and running?

2 pounds!!!

2 freaking pounds added to my body!!

The same thing happened to me in Heidelberg, Germany!!

I walked up the northern part of the Königstuhl hillside three times for three different men and I gained three pounds. They too have a train system, but my bubbled up blonde brain couldn't grasp the german language enough to read the signs correctly and not accidentally end up on the other side of communism.

You think walking up and down Manhattan, schlepping shopping bags, and my gigantic hobo would have widdled my body down to wafe like status, especially when I was careful to starve myself to death for the fashion shows. Not that I am ever going to be thin enough to be blown down by air but I wouldn't mind being thin enough for a strong wind to shove me to the ground.

I blame men!

I would have stuck to the stravation plan, and come back the size of a snap pea,
if it were not for men.

They took me to fabulous places, with fabulous food, and wonderful wines!!

What are they thinking?!

Men?!


Blondes can't live without them!!