Ouch!!!

I cracked my knee over the corner of my bed last night leaving a bruise the size of a golf ball on my knee. It usually happens when I haven't made the bed in a couple of days. The bed gets resentful it isn't being taken care.

The bed will actually reach its corner out to kick me in the shins. This isn't the first time.

Its a hateful bed!!

I think the laundry I forgot to put a way had a hand in it, too. The piles of clean folded laundry I took off the bed and set down on the floor next tot he corner had a conversation with the bed and they conspired to trip me up.

Its not my fault I couldn't deal with my bedroom. I had cars to wash, Halloween decor to set up, and bitchy notes to text to strangers that judged my dating preferences.

I have since cleaned my room and made up with my bed and laundry. Its nice to know that even if people don't forgive you, your inanimate objects will.

Although I think I heard them giggling while I slept last night!!


Beds and laundry may break my bones but words only bruise a Blonde!!

Iphone Politics

Never take a political stand by way of text on an Iphone...

The following is a preview of a heated debate using the Iphone keyboard and text:

I am fairly certain I lost.

from the iphone:

letbthe middle man revolt andbsievthe execs for malice unloss the middleman is guilty of lusting it happen unless vptomf for blackam will se permmave enough
I will not vote for a system can be repaired by one man no how well speak nor howany pink flamingos she can trap the redneck vote

end of iphone text....

Don't believe the Iphone is better than the Treo or the Blackberry just because of great ads...learn for yourself...sort of like politics...choose wisely or make a fool of yourself!!


Blondes know there is good and bad in all!!

Barack's Moratorium

Spread the wealth but don't forget the Blonde.

I too was twisted into buying more than I could afford.

Do I get 3 months moratorium on my credit card payments?

The girl at Nordstrom said I could afford the Balenciaga shoulder bag, if I charged it. I believed her and now I am stuck paying...its not fair...I should be bailed out, too!!

If you want the credit institutions to feel good about giving more credit, why not lower the credit rate on already inflated, beyond the sky, charge cards so people can get a bit of relief to help pay off the original debt?

Then they can buy more, perpetuating new spending...duh!!!

Or just bail out the titans, let the idiots have 3 months free mortgage and make the rich pay for it all!!!

Blondes believe in limits !!!

Friday Night Fright

...of a date.

Blondes have fragile egos, so when your on a date with one don't look at the brunettes that walk by and...

Never, never, never check out the young man with brunette hair directly behind the Blonde at the bar!!


Blondes are afraid of losing game!

Manopause

I just read an advertisement for Andropause. Apparently, men get menopause like woman. They get a little pudgy around the middle, depressed, and their sexual appetite diminishes...

blah

blah

blah

...and of course to help them through this time, the pharmaceutical commies have something to help.

A peepee hardener pill.

For a man, he doesn't need to lose weight, he doesn't need antidepressants.

Nope!!

He just needs a pill that will make the 'General' go from flacid to fabulously firm for eight hours.

No wonder all the men leave their wives when they hit midlife crisis.

With a penis that is so hopped up on drugs, its irrational behavior has them seeking out twenty something girls to keep their crack head (pun intended) tweaking until it comes down from the high.

I blame the pharmie commies for the high rate of divorce. That and not having separate bathrooms.

Stop watching each other pee for cricky sakes!!

Blondes say NO to drugs!!

Its a Big Bus

Don't ask me why I thought this was a cool shot.


Blondes like big long things!!

Is it just me...

or does it seem to you that McCain and Palin are using the fear factor to get your vote?

McCain, don't bash socialism, at least they pay for medical and they don't crash markets with corporate greed!!

With regard to Obama...I haven't listened to enough of his speeches to get pissed into commenting!!


Blondes hate politics!!

I don't need no stinking Badges

I volunteered only for two days for the film festival this year. It took me that long to remember why I did not want to be a driver.

It is tiring hanging out in a dank office waiting your turn to drive and when so many volunteers are pushy and in the coordinators face wanting the best ones to drive, I was under utilized and done with the whole affair after only a couple of days. Beisdes, I was never going to earn enough points to enjoy a festival badge because the coordinator booked her faves for the extra time.


I decided to spend my time at the Driskill bar just people watching and drinking my wine, which was far more productive as far as enjoying myself.

I may have not met anyone in the industry but I did get to play an actress for a bit.

I found it fun to carry on 'shock conversations' with my friend for the couple sitting behind our love seat. The older gentleman's ear fell off when we began to talk of the Sugardaddy / Sugarbaby web site we played on.

I handed the gentleman back his ear and once it was safely back on his head, we acted out our improv scripts.

We talked about how great it was to be a Mistress to a married man; no strings attached, no commitment, just a whole lot of fun.

And anyone who reads my blog will realize how good an actress I must be to pull off those comments without snorting wine out my nose.

Blah

blah

blah!!

We could barely contain our laughter when I got up to go to the bathroom and the gent's wife followed me in to make sure her husband didn't.


The Blonde loves to act!!

Sperpies

Spiritual herpes exists!!

Having the pleasure of dining with the Captain last night, I am in wonderment of spiritual guidance and those that seek it no matter the avenue they choose as their guide.

The theme of the night started in the car on the way to downtown.

I put the top down and cranked the radio..The DJ was interviewing a psychic. The psychic was describing her ability to be in touch with the aura and psychic energy of callers.

Without knowing it, this would set the tone of the evening.

A wicked co-inky dink was about to unfold.

Dealing with the supernatural, one has to wonder if that little tidbit of radio station would arm me against forces that might otherwise slip by me without a second thought.

With that radio talk, someone was telling me to be careful because maybe the world is more than coincidences and I should walk away from bad influences no matter how much I adore them for their dis-functionality.

I am trying to improve my lot in this world and maybe cavorting with the wrong friends could inhibit me from being with the right ones for me.

I ordered the margs just as the Captain walked up to the bar.

This was psychic herpes, a plague, a disease of which, if I did not remove myself, I would catch it and be alone forever. The Captain believed he was cast a spell by his first girlfriend and forever doomed. He talked of voodoo on the islands and how his love was, for a brief moment possessed by a spirit that wanted a little ecstasy of the flesh so she took the Captain's love for a heated sexual encounter.

When the spirit left, the girlfriend came to, and was a little more than p.o.'ed, that he cheated on her with the dead chick.

The evidence was clear.. he was in bed naked with obvious signs of copulation.\

Denial is futile!!

The Captain was from the islands and voodoo is strong there, and while I don’t believe in any one religion I do believe in a little of all and I am selective in what I believe.

And I believe, if you believe, it is strong and you can do me harm or you can do me good, which ever the winds may blow at that moment.

Whether it be Christianity, Buddhism, voodoo, Wicca…

It’s more the power of the mind to believe in something.

If you really listen to signs they will push you in the right direction; because quite frankly Blondes aren’t the only ones lost without faith.

And faith is not in a church, its not in a temple, it is not in a religion, its that little voice that tells you right form wrong and your heart is all you need to guide you.

Cause if you can't listen to your head in these matters.

Logic can't kill the thought of a dead girl wanting to get laid.

The Blonde had a deep moment!!

Stephen F Austin

Finally, a place downtown where I have a quietly reserved place to hang my hat while I write during the Austin Film Festival, of which at the moment, I am not agreeing with so much.

The new director, is along the lines of a gestapo for volunteers. If I hear one more time, from the t-shirt natzi, to wear my ugly volunteer t-shirt, I am going to pluck every hair from her head and explain to her how I have a psychological problem with unfashionable garments and asking me to wear it two days in a row could possibly make me snap at any moment!!

I am also not thrilled with the kiss-arse couple that bogarts the talent pick up from everyone.

My final straw was when they tried to give me a couple with a baby, instead of the crew from the private leer jet!!

I headed for the nearest watering hole to work out my woes and thank Gah, Stephen F Austin had everything I had been missing downtown, from free wifi to proper red wine goblets.

I found a bit of civilization downtown!!

Stephen F Austin is my sanctuary as I extend a helping hand!!


Blondes charity only goes so far!!

Is that a Rocket in my Pocket

or just the new vibrating Gillette Fusion taking care of two things in one shower.

After getting an extremely close shave, pop of the head (pun intended), and give yourself a little something, something!!

The great thing about this technologically advanced shaving device is its ability to hide under the radar as a razor but really one must ask themselves?

Why is it being advertised as a man's razor?

Ladies, put down your pink whatever and pick up a man's shaving tool for the closest shave you will ever enjoy!!


Blondes love two kill two birds with one stone!!

Thank you Austin

...for giving me Bourbon Street in my home town!!!

Thank you, Governor Perry, for the Katrina trash lingering on every corner of 6th.

Thank you for the paint can sniffers, the drug dealers, and the wacked out, looking for a hand out or a fight, depending on what cleaning product they sniffed.

Thank you for putting the homeless shelter right across the street from the liquor store.

Thank you for killing the music scene and replacing it with urban sprawl and crime.

Thank you for allowing me to feel safer in New York City than my own home town.

Thank you for nothing!!!!


Blondes are out of thank you cards!!!