5.05.2008

Got Milk?


Why get milk when you can have soda for all your nutritional needs? And it has twice the amount of artifical flavorings!!


Awsome!!! The World is more ridiculous than I am.


Real Blondes prefer to be natural!

4.30.2008

New Look

I have my own domain!! And why shouldn't I?!

I am totally worth it.

You can now just type:


blindedbyblonde.com




4.29.2008

Liar, Liar...

Pants on fire...

I swear to Gah, if yesterday wasn't one of the most hysterical days I have ever had. I just couldn't stop laughing at the absurdity of it all.

First I was thrown under the bus by co-workers who didn't complete a task and threw it in my lap last minute and than used me as the office idiot.


I thought to myself on the way home that I am not cut out for poor office politics and two face back-stabbers. As these thoughts twisted through my little head, the most hideous van pulled up next to me.

It was a chicken van!!

A Honda Element with molded feet on the back of the van, a chicken head molded onto the front of the hood and a hat or something on the the top of the van.

It was the ugliest beast of an auto I had ever seen. It would definitely scare the dickens out of the children if it were ever entered into a parade.

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
All I could think at the moment was how my job could suck more.
I could be driving that chicken van for a living.


Next on my list of all time most ridiculous award would go to my Ex whom I made the distinct mistake of visiting last night. He tried so hard to convince me that he could love me and do right by me, blah, blah, blah.

Anyhoo,

We had a couple of glasses of wine together and I laid down on his sofa for an hour before I had to go home. He laid in his bed and fell asleep.

Ring!!

Ring!!!

Hello?

Well, Hi baby. Where are you?

Why don't you come over?

I was just watching tv and fell asleep.

I sure did, just watched TV and fell asleep.

OK Baby. Bye Baby.



My head popped up quicker than a jack rabbit out of a snake hole.

Did you just forget I was on the sofa?!



I laughed so hard I almost peed myself again.

I laughed all the way out the door and back home.

I am still laughing.


This morning I get an email saying it was his sister and she had a fight with her husband.

Really?!

Hhmmm? Your sisters name is Baby, Baby, Baby?!



Blondes believe everything they hear!

4.28.2008

6 Week Moratorium

I have initialized my official breakup moratorium used to ensure I will know who to blame if something goes wrong with my body or to ensure the break up is real and not just a cat fight. I am certainly, mostly, absolutely positive this is the finale' for my recent casualty and may I say it couldn't happen to a nicer fella.

Did my sarcasm come through just then? I can't ever tell.


Usually I only engage in a 4 week buffer zone before I begin to date again but since my last one had super sperm, I am taking no chances. This by no means that I have issued any house arrests for myself either.


This weekend I went out with my producer friend. I am always cheered up by the thought of limos and VIP status at clubs. We were having a fun time until several gentlemen started hitting on me. Now, I am no one's girlfriend, nor do I wish to engage in a relationship with my producer friend. He is definitely one to leave single. No matter how much dog training you do on him, he is too old to learn any horse and pony tricks to impress me, although he sure is trying.

Now I rarely go to country bars. I am more an uptown girl but its fun to let loose when you don't really care what anyone thinks about you which is what these bars do for me. The most crazy I get is dance and accept business cards from cute strangers which is where this story is heading.


My producer friend which technically we were on a date but as friends only. Unfortunately he doesn't see it that way and is still trying to win me over.
I really enjoy his company, I can be myself and have fun without pretense but I am still not falling anytime soon.

He keeps telling everyone we are together. I keep telling him we aren't.

Just saying it doesn't make it true. But, it doesn't stop him from trying, he doesn't take the word NO too well.


Anyhoo, back to the country bar:

He pulled out his bull horns and bucked anyone who tried to come near me. I can handle myself. I am used to the attention and I just politely say I am on a date but at these country bars that isn't enough to keep them from coming around. These guys just had bad manners to come up to me every time Mr Producer had his head turned.
Needless to say Mr. Producer got angry and threatened to have their ass kicked and he knows the people to do it.

No matter how sweet it might be that someone wants to have the crap beaten out of someone in my honor, I just assume not. I don't want to have to bail anyone out of jail or show up to numerous court dates for a lawsuit.


Ahhh, country bars, gotta love the trailer park pride in these establishments.
Men will fight for their woman unlike the gents at the Four Seasons, which is where
I am going to hang my hat up this coming weekend.

I just don't do country well.


The Blonde always leaves with the one that brung her!

4.22.2008

Blonded and Bambuzzled

...by Love.

After bearing with me during my turmoil in New York I thought you might like to read what the Ex wrote me to make me believe he was someone else.

I included a collection of his email to me. Just click on the link.
I have commentary for fun, although, it really isn't a laughing matter when someone makes you believe they are free to love you when they aren't.

Read from Here to Gone in 53 or So Emails:

Click here to read!


Peace Y'all...The Blonde is back!!

4.18.2008

Way too skinny...

...jeans slipped over my derriere like butter, this morning. I am incredibly psyched to being my perfect weight again.

I am also excited that I sold my very first two items listed on my Ebay store.
A very happy girl in the UK is going to get my cherished pony hair coat that I never got to wear because I am too tall and broad shouldered to wear anything from the 60's era. She is so excited to have it that I gave her a buy now option for way under what I paid for it or could get for it if I waited to auction it. But it makes me happy to lose a little bit of money to be able to give someone something they want very much.


The second coat, a fabulous L.A.M.B. ruffle coat, went to a young lady in NYC. She had a bit of an attitude regarding timely payments, actually stationg that it was my fault for not putting down paymetn requirements. Excuse me for not thinking their would be a fleeb out in Ebay land wanting to abuse my good nature.

She eventually paid, after giving the "I am out of town speech". In between the lines was the I need to wait for my next paycheck. Her coat is on its way.


We now break for this important announcement:

News Flash,

Just minutes ago the young lady who bought my ruffle coat has just discovered what karma does when it comes back to bite you in the ass.

Biatch, as I lovingly call her now, received the coat and now wants an immediate refund. You see, she is one of 'those' people who puts a large bid on an item to secure a win. Only this time she didn't count on someone else wanting the coat badly enough to go up a crazy amount and a bidding war was brought on. The coatwas up to a ridiculous amount. She now has buyers remorse and wants the funds back.

Deep down, i don;t blame her but seriously she was greedy!! I don;t bid on things I can't afford and there is a lot I wouldn't mind having. Especially that Jean Paul Gaultier jacket.

I had another buyer for the coat earlier on but now I don't know. Its late in spring and I might get stuck with the coat until fall. She said she is sending the coat back for immediate refund and I replied.

'You need to go through dispute so I can properly resolve this issue.'

Eventually I might be made to take the coat back which is fine. I offered the refund not thinking an arse would buy my coat but I will honor it.

Live and learn I always say

Let karma work its magic through the Ebay dispute process while I am out of town for awhile. I hear it can take up to a month to resolve issues.


Blondes know what it feels like to wait for my money too.

4.17.2008

Money or Manners

Murphy's Law had a chance to play with me.

I spent the last part of my trip in New York alone and financially jammed because the Hudson Hotel held my entire bank account hostage. I had to have another ex pay for the last night. I didn't feel right having him pay for an extravagant hotel so I moved to the Milford near Broadway.


I finally get home by the grace of God, and one really sweet guy at the information desk at Grand Central Station who gave me the extra $2 I needed to get to the airport by bus.


I go straight to the bank from the airport to figure out why so much money was taken out by the hotel. The teller informs me there are no charges on the account for any hotel. Every transaction placed on my account by the Hudson Hotel had magically disappeared and my account was at its original balance.

I am now awaiting the proper charges.


But I wonder?

Why did this happen?

What is the reason?

What am I to learn from this experience?

Did I at least build on my character?


The now defunct relationship has left me with a surplus of cash in my savings account. The money was given to me by my newly ex-ed boyfriend for sprucing myself up. Now that we are no longer together I feel funny having the money. I used a third of it for my lips and a couple of trips to the day spa but there is still some left in the savings account. I wanted him to know the money was being used for the purpose he intended. It was a generous gift and I didn't want him to think I would abuse his generosity.

Now that karma has set my account straight, I wonder?

Should I give him back the money?

It was a gift. Why should I return it?

Why should I be punished?

Wasn't I punished enough?

Does he deserve to have it back?

What is the proper thing to do?

Why should I even care about doing the proper thing? Its not like I am going to get kudos from him for returning the funds and I like kudos!!



Oh well! (sigh)

I can't win them all.

Thank goodness, I only need to win one.


I have decided to take the funds and reimburse myself for the trip, ensuring good karma to him--. And for my karma, (BTW: you can start a sentence with a conjunction if used sparingly--I looked it up) I am adopting polar bears to help save them from the effects of global warming.


It is really amazing to me how everything worked alright. I don't know what I would have done if I had no family or friends and alot of Gah to help me. I am humbled and grateful for the experience.


Blondes try to grow up well!!

4.16.2008

My Lips are Losing Weight

I recently had a little bit of fat injected into my lips to give me a sexy Bridget Bardot pout. I din't opt for the fake stuff because I didn't want to look like Daffy duck.

I have just noticed my lips aren't as pouty as before I went to NYC.

I ask myself...


Self, why are my lips getting thinner?

Are they losing weight?

I know I lost a few extra pounds running around New York on the one bag of fries I could afford, but this is ridiculous.

Lips should not lose weight.


Butts and thighs yes, lips no.


Can transplanted fat be lost?


Its so not fair!!


I already lost a boyfriend, you think I would get to keep my lips.


I am going to have to feed my lips tonight.



I need something meaty and juicy!!


Hhhmmm.....




I need a dinner date.




Blondes hate to eat alone!!