I am Fashion's Biatch

I am at Filene's basement looking for a bag to carry my laptop in. I had to be careful with money because I didn't think I would need to bring very much on this trip.

After all, I was visiting my boyfriend. Why would I need for anything? Duh...

It never occurred to me that I might need a sudden flow of emergency cash. He did give me some walking around money when he left for Connecticut but still the hotel I chose to make me feel better was luxury tagged and although I knew I would have to move to a more economical hotel, at this moment it was worth it to me to have the high thread count and down pillows to cry my little tears into.


Anyhoo,

I find a bag that doesn't knock my socks off but the price is right and I am tired of going around the city with my laptop in my hand. I proceed to checkout when low and behold my newbie friend lifts up the most perfect designer bag ever!!

I look at the price tag...

Uh Uh!!

Too much!!

Its the perfect bag!!

Ed hardy Rock and Roses bag!!

I must have it!

I must buy the bag!

I love the bag!

The bag loves me!!!



Too bad the bag couldn't feed me for the last two days of my trip because after maxing out the only credit card I had for the hotel rooms and cabs, this was the only cash I had left to survive on until I got home and it was now a handbag that I just would not return even when I had money only for a bag of fries. I didn't have enough for a whole meal.

Fashion is my crack.

Its a monkey on my back.


It would be just like an addict to find justification for their addiction.

Her is mine:

Spending all my cash on this killer bag forced me to learn to get around the city by foot, which kept me healthy; forced me to learn the buses and subways; now I am not afraid of public transport; and I lost a few pounds from not eating.



I was very close to being a bag lady but at least it would have been designer.

Concubine to Cougar

I am in New York and I have settled into the Hudson Hotel. Its Awsome!!!

I love it.

Pretty people,

Famous people,

and me!!


After a break up you need a hotel like this one. I checked in around 1:30 AM and the lobby turns into a club around 2. The desk peeps were so sweet to me and said that I should come to the club after settling in..they thought it would cheer me up.

Needless to say, I did not go. I was tired and hungover. By now the buzz wore off and I had a more than slight headache.

I remember having a glass of wine after the saki ran out...Gah, what the heck was
I thinking. I am going to have to choose another way to deal with a break up. Ickk!!


I go to sleep and awake to a jackhammer around 7 AM, no seriously a real jackhammer outside on the street, directly underneath my window. I suffer through my headache and the jackhammer until 9 and than I get up an shower and go the store to get excederin.

I get a phone call...

Its the Newbie I met and forgot about.

I forgot I met someone while walking the ex's dog. Its funny to me because I specifically recall telling my ex he shouldn't leave me alone in the city for this exact reason.

Men are a dime a dozen in this town. I couldn't be lonely if I tried.

Anyhoo,

The newbie hung out with me and did everything my older boyfriend
wouldn't do with me like teaching me the subway, showing me Filene's basement, which is a story all on its own, and showing me the great little coffee shops and sushi spots.


I definitely will have to look into dating younger men...they have incredibly less baggage to carry around making them light on the feet and ready for a full day with me!!


Right now, I think I want to be alone for awhile which will be easy since I am back in Texas.



I am blonde just not yet ready to roar!!

Next please!!!

I went to New York this weekend and what I thought would be a great weekend with my boyfriend walking around the park, having coffee together, doing fun couple stuff quickly got snubbed when he left me for Connecticut. I am totally cool with you wanting to hang with kids but not your kids with the ex-wife, not while I am by myself at your place in New York on your invite. Its just uncool and shows me I am second best and always will be. No matter how nice I am about you leaving ---I am thinking to myself, don't bother coming back.

I know exactly where this relationship was going.

Nowhere!!

If you hide the fact that you are dating to your family after two years post-divorce...something is up and I don't want any part of it.


I won't be hidden or used as someone's sexual comfort while they still get to play husband to the ex. If I wanted that I could have stayed with the Ecuadorian. At least he knows how important fashion is to me.


Break up Day:

I had to return a dress to the Diesel store. Since I wasn't getting a ride from you know who because he was running late to get to the family. I was going to try the subway but I was afraid since I don't understand it yet. I was going to take a taxi but decided to walk and learn the lay of the land. I didn't think two miles was very long.

I was wrong. Two miles is a lot in cute clothes.

Anyhoo

I shopped for awhile, returned my dress and headed back to the apartment. I got lost through my shortcut in Central park and my trip back actually took about 3 miles.

Feet sore

Tired

Hungry..hadn't eaten all day


Get home, open a bottle of Saki. Sipped through the evening, writing my stories and the bottle got away from me and it was empty.

Mmmmmm,feeling no pain.

Ex-boyfrined calls at 9:30 p.m. Did it occur to call earlier and tell me to not wait for you to have dinner. jerk

"At dinner with the wife and son"

Oh, well have a great time. I am doing just fine. Why don't you call later to let me know if you will be staying.


The ex-boyfriend comes back around 11 and I think he is upset with me because I told him to stay in Conneticut for the night. Afterall, why bother to come back to me--Oh wait, i know--he can't stay over nigth ecause the Ex won't let him.
I am way drunk and I don't care but he does. I know that is a pet peeve of his since he doesn't drink, I know I am in trouble. I guess I got a little belligerent after he got a little more than derogatory.

I don't have to be here. I can go

Than go

You don't have to ask me twice. Hello Hudson, I need a room.




Blondes know better than to fight!!

En Vino es Veritas

to thine own self be true...

Geriatric Grocery

What is it about Tuesday and old people grocery shopping? I don't think it was double coupon day, maybe it was? But for some odd reason Tuesday is the day the senior scooter crowd drives their Grand Marquis over to the local grocery store.

Geez Louise..I saw at least two grim reapers bagging groceries for the walking dust buckets today.


They walk too slow!

They can't reach for items on the top shelf.

They can't bend down to the bottom shelf.

They congregate around the sample plates.

They drive the scooter down the middle of the isle

and...

They write checks!!!

Mother, will you hurry up!!



UGHHH!!!!



Blondes will never get that old!!

Time Crunch Campaign

I have found a way to be happy at work. I found myself something to do!!

I have started a little store on Ebay selling clothes that I find at thrift stores and goodwill and a few things of my own that I need to part with, like the clothes I buy because the fabric is too fantastic to pass up. I am a very tactile person!!

Not only am I productive at work, I get to shop without the guilt!!!

Anyhoo, I had to request time off of work for my trip to New York. I don't know why they think I am asking for the time off when I am really telling them I am taking the time off. Its not as if they say NO that I am going to not go--is that right? Sorry my proofreader is basking in the glory of the Fiji sun, shaded by exotic beauties.

Since I will be in New York anyway, I thought I might turn it into a little business adventure, in between the time I am not in between the sheets. I am going to dig through Filene's Basement until my fingers are nubs. I have decide that I really hate working for someone else and if I can become self sufficient reselling designer stock, my world will be golden like it used to be.

I don't have anytime to do things when I am on someone else's clock.

I can't get a mani or pedi or go the spa during the week which means I would have to wait till the weekend and then it is full of women..Ick. I can't do my shopping until later in the evenings when traffic has died down to a respectable level. I can't go to the bank, post office, or the mechanic. Do you see the headaches working for someone else causes? Gah!!!

If I am going to be forced work, I should at least be able to dictate my own time, not that I don't already. But, I get dirty looks for taking the extra time when I am on a lunch date and I don't need the stress of guilt. I shouldn't be forced to try and jam my lunch in one hour. I think people can't eat properly because they have to rush through their lunch and don't allow for proper digestion.


Its not fair that the little people have to fore go a relaxing lunch because they have errands they have to cram in an hour. Where is the logic in this? You can't get danything done in an hour with traffic and lights to consider. I say that once a week each employee should get a minimum of 3 hour lunch to attend to things that can not be done on a weekend or shouldn't have to be done on a weekend.


We all work hard during the week--well not me--but most of everyone does and they should relax on their time off!!


Vote for Me...The Blonde with a heart!!!

Oops, I did it again!!

I hurt an ex-boyfriends feelings. Apparently, its not funny to read the truth about yourself no matter how humorous the tone. I thought my blog entitled 'Dating Game'
was hysterical. Oh well, C'est la Vie.

Its not like we were getting back together anyway.

I find that once I break up with someone I can find absolutely no reason why I would ever attempt a second try. I can't seem to get past the polite phone conversation in an attempt to reconcile at least a friendship. They will try to be someone else; say they have changed or tell you everything you want to hear; even to the point of becoming the person they think you want them to be, but that is always short lived. In the end, they are who they are and I am who I am.

No one changes their spots overnight...not even me! Of course, I don't really have spots.

I think if it didn't work out in the first place, it won't work out in the second place. Besides, what woman would settle for second place. The same applies to me as well. If you break up with me obviously I wasn't the one and don't come crawling back because I won't be interested once I have a good cry about it.

I do find that at least I get some satisfaction in knowing the guy now realizes what he had and he should have been a little more careful with a gem like me. Call me selfish but I wouldn't let myself go back to a man after he has broken off the relationship with me; I have too much pride.


I won't change my blog because someone didn't like what they read about themselves.
I will, however, change it for the cutie pie with a special knack for editing.


Blondes don't look back unless they are pulling out!!

My Brain is falling, My brain is falling

The more I write about being blonde the more I think I am becoming...well...blonde!!

I recently took my quarterly IQ test and have found I dropped another four points. I am now 12 points away from MENSA.

They say if you don't use it, you lose it.

I thought they were talking about organs pertaining to sex. I am fairly certain now, they were referring to one's mind. Of course they do say the most erogenous part of a women's body is the hypothalamus but we aren't talking about the part of the brain that needs only fresh batteries in a vibrator to stimulate a response.

I am speaking about the part of my brain that can't finish reading a chapter of Moby Dick without daydreaming every other paragraph. Of course it could just be I don't care about fishing for a giant white whale but I should still be able to focus on at least one page of dialogue.

I used to spend hours at my computer as a white hat. Now, I couldn't hack my way out of a paper bag. Instead of writing code, I write blonde anecdotes. I used to write dissertations on ontology. My papers argued that you could not receive a failing grade for a thesis on theory because a theory hasn't been established as a universal fact or truth thus no one is right nor wrong. Today I would fail to argue the point of a brain fart.

I should receive a consolation prize or parting gift for losing my mind...like bigger breasts. From what I understand it is perfectly acceptable to be a dumb blonde if you have a big chest to distract the men from your brushing of a stiletto to help count to ten.


The failure of challenges at work, surrounded by white walls, and very little water cooler talk has left me uninspired to write, learn or create. I feel the very core of my intelligence sucked into the internet vortex propelling me toward spontaneous Ebay purchases and drifting through Craigslist for no reason other than trying to fill 6 hours of dead time at work.

So what does this have to do with the price of corn in China. Nothing, they don't grow corn in China, DUH!! It does, however, have something to do with my blog. Instead of trying to be funny all the time (trying being key word), I am going to try (again key word) and exercise my mind so in the future you just might see opinions, thesis', algorithms, code, whatever I deem necessary to save my brain from total blondness.

I might even start with proper grammar and proofreading.



The blonde gets down to the dark root of the problem!!