Life is a Ball Y'all!!

I'm tall...and pretty...and I can walk a room like no one's business so of course people are going to look and focus on me and if I happen to be on a date with an older guy..they focus on him too!!

Boy do they focus!

There was an older couple sitting at the bar when we walked in..the woman kept tapping her husband's arm and him being a man tried to do his best of being non-obvious..I'm thinking it didn't matter because she worse than he was at it...

They kept looking and finally my date and I proceeded to the other end of the bar but not before I leaned into the couple and said...

"You know contrary to popular belief, I'm not paid for....I work for free!!"

They just had a ball gossiping about us and I had a ball that I reached infamous status...even if it was just for the evening...

The blonde never turns a fan away!!

Millionaire Mate!!!

Yes my blog has a financial tone this week, probably do to my ever so concern over the recession and state of..blah...blah...blah...

Where was I? OH yes!! Idiots!!

I was having fun with CL for my poser exposer blog which I have since dismantled because of boredom. You run into one idiot, you run into them all...and they seem to congregate in CL..Hhmmmm!!

Where was I? Oh Yes...Idiots!!

I wrote:

absolutely the funniest personal on craigslist..I'm LOL...seriously..great stuff....

I would love to have some of the replies for my blog..could you forward some of the idiotic responses to me..I would love it for my blog..

Thanks Via

The generated response back:
Hi

Thank you for your interest in my Cl ad. Right now, I am at work and I
promise to properly respond to your email when I get back.

Obviously, because of who I am, I must keep everything very discreet
so the stock holders of my company stay happy.

If you want, you can take a look at my profile / pictures at
http://www.freeqdi.com/recommends/Michael

My user name is mpregini

Let me know your user name so I can look you up and contact you.

This website is geared towards millionaires and keeps my privacy very
secured which is why I use them.
I even had to prove my financial status before being able to join.

I am not promoting this website it is pretty much a buffer between the
crazy people of the world (which I am sure you're not) and myself.

Just let me know your user name and we'll go from there.

I apologize that I have to do it this way but I met a crazy woman off
CL just the other day and
it is easier for me to use the website as a buffer.

My reply back:

your kidding, right? this has to be a joke? you need to be discreet and don't use CL but you do use CL to promote the millionaire poser site....LOL

good luck with your site

I get same auto response from him

and than a month later I get a personal note:

Sorry to disappoint Via

I am real

and than the auto response is sent to me again..



Idiots amuse the blonde!!

Promises, Promises, Promises

If your going to tell me you saw a mink coat at the store and you had a fantasy about me wearing it...you better buy it!!

What is it with men dangling pretty little things, and not your penis, in front of me and than never giving it to me.

Its called being a tease and blondes don't like a tease anymore than a man does.


Its like window shopping..its not shopping if you aren't buying. I don't go into a store that I cannot afford and look at all the pretty things I can't have. Why would I do that? It would just make me feel bad that I can't have them. I don't go around putting dollar bills in the pocket of fur coats or inside handbags while wearing it around the store and than get mad because the coat and handbag can't come home with me!!

I just assume play imaginary millionaire with my Vogue. Sort of like what men do with their playboy magazine.

If its the thought that counts, don't tell the blonde!!!

I was thinking...

I know, I know...a blonde thinking? What's next, putting someone on the moon.

Where was I?

What was I thinking?

Damn, I forgot..

the blonde will get back to you!!!

Stupid Football

The Giants vs. the Patriots

YUcK!!!

The Blonde doesn't care who wins!!

I'm not Romantic

I tried once to make a romantic picnic.....once!!

It took me all day to find the perfect blanket.

Then it took more days to find matching picnic accessories

then I had to go to the grocery store

than I hunted for tiki torches

than my outfit...

drive to small park by the lake

romantic means I get sex

Ask people if I can have park to myself

wait for people to leave park

park is clear

start setting the mood

its hot

the grass is spiky

Mosquitoes

Is that spider

picnic table is icky

go to store

buy a tent

come back

its really hot

the grass is spiky

is that a huge spider?

freaking mosquitoes

get the food out

drink all the sangria

light the stupid tiki torches

cook the stupid food

get in the stupid tent

kiss the stupid boyfriend

hot
sticky
sweaty

eeewww ...on my pretty new picnic blanket

clean up stupid picnic stuff

go home

Romance to a blonde is room service at the Four Seasons...!!

I'm sorry I don't do Geriatric!!

I get this call from some woman that was from dating network said I was recommended to her by someone and would I be interested in dating this great guy, retired, wants to spoil,blah, blah, blah....but...

Yeah...I already knew there would be a but...I didn't know it would be a geriatric butt...

and here is the BIG, BIG but...
"He's a little older"

"Ok..50 maybe? 60?"

No my fans...he was 75 freakin years old..retired IBMer..can you gross me out any more than that..pictures of my Dad flashed before my eyes..

and Im rinsing my eyes!!
nope.
still seeing Dad...
rinse and repeat,
rinse and repeat!!


Who on God's green earth, my age, besides Anna Nicole Smith would date a 75 year old man...OH..yes the "Girls Next Door"

Are you seeing the pattern?!!
They are all bottled blondes!!!

She continues:
When he travels its only in condos..
yeah right..you mean time shares!!

he water skiis?!!
yeah right, you mean rides a pontoon boat!!

he wants to spoil someone?
you mean he is spoiled

He wants to get married!!
how many great grandkids in the will?


Holy Cow, lady..I know your desperate but I'm NOT...who said I was?! Did someone say I was desperate?!

Well, why don't you think about it?
Um..yeah thought over....
Excuse me?
I mean I don't think its for me and could you please remove my Gold Digger status button on your list!!

I will call my friends to see if they have any Grandmothers that need a date!!

There is a difference between bottled and Blonde!!

I am gonna be a Supa Star!!!

in the greeting card arena...Hey!! I'm still getting published and considering I have only been at this writing thing for about 6 months..

I am definitely on schedule to being famous or infamous..
doesn't really matter as long as I get paid.

so I am thinking about a line of 'dump' cards...
I thought I would start with:

MY BAD
I SLEPT WITH YOUR
BOYFRIEND

SORRY ABOUT
YOUR BREAK UP

OR

YOUR THE
ONLY ONE



THAT DIDN'T SEE
IT COMING

SORRY ABOUT THE BREAKUP

I wonder if there is an award ceremony for card writers??! hhhmmm...

anyhoo...

gotta run...my email boyfriend and I are getting engaged and I have to shop for a jpeg ring

Blondes are funny...yes, we are!!