I'm not Romantic

I tried once to make a romantic picnic.....once!!

It took me all day to find the perfect blanket.

Then it took more days to find matching picnic accessories

then I had to go to the grocery store

than I hunted for tiki torches

than my outfit...

drive to small park by the lake

romantic means I get sex

Ask people if I can have park to myself

wait for people to leave park

park is clear

start setting the mood

its hot

the grass is spiky


Is that spider

picnic table is icky

go to store

buy a tent

come back

its really hot

the grass is spiky

is that a huge spider?

freaking mosquitoes

get the food out

drink all the sangria

light the stupid tiki torches

cook the stupid food

get in the stupid tent

kiss the stupid boyfriend


eeewww ...on my pretty new picnic blanket

clean up stupid picnic stuff

go home

Romance to a blonde is room service at the Four Seasons...!!

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