Ode to my Alcohol

The ENTIRE drink menu at Z Tejas

The Fish bowl at Hula Hut

The Pear Mojito at P F Changs

The Fruit infused Saki at Kenichi

The Pinot Noir at Jeffrey’s

The Dirty Martini at Cedar Door

The Vodka Gimlet at Four Seasons

I do adore the warm fuzzy

I get from you

Never do I drive

But ever do I stumble

over the greatness of you

Please Don't Drink and Drive this Holiday Season!!

Blondie rule of Prayer

There are so many disclaimers that come with praying.

You’re not supposed to ask for things;

Ask for what is right not what you want;

God works in mysterious ways;

Ask not what you Christ can do for you…

Blah, blah, blah…..

It’s like buying a shiny new Cadillac. I don’t know why I relate God and a caddy; I’m thinking it’s from growing up in the south and seeing all the preachers driving their Cadillac while asking the congregation to give more funds..

Why do you need more funds? Can’t you do God’s work in an Oldsmobile?

Anyhoo,

Here you have this new car with a warranty and the fine print and it’s not until you start seeing all the disclaimers that you think to yourself or at least I do, I should have bought the used Junker with the simple disclaimer:

AS IS

NO WARRANTY

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

I like simple terms and conditions that let me know if it breaks I’m responsible for fixing it. If I prayed to God to fix my car..I would never be able to get anywhere in life.

Blondes never are stranded on the side of the road long!!

I'm Goin Cowboys!!

...not because I know anything about football. I know enough to act like I know and I have a trick to help me look like I know..whenever I hear a whistle I yell out flag..makes me look like I really know but alas I do not..I mean... I know what a flag is, I just never know why the flag is called.
I have been a Redskin fan all my life. I was born in D.C. and lived in Virginia most of my young life and so there... I'm a Redskin fan but lately I'm thinking I might go Cowboys for one big reason....A GUY....not just any guy but a bonafide gentleman guy who made me laugh when I was crying over getting old...
and while I will always love my Redskins and wish them well they never told me how beautiful I am, make me laugh, or make me feel better about myself when I am feeling down..I doubt the Cowboys will do that for me either but I know this guy will and I rather hang out with him on the Cowboy's side of the stadium than stand alone on the Redskin's side.


damn you Joe Gibbs...can't you do anything?!!

Blondes don't need to know football to be a fan!!

Update: Nov 28. 2007
After the fall of Redskin Taylor...I cannot leave my team at this time plus I really don't like the Cowboys and this guy has since dwindled from my light

Crack Cat

My cat finally came home this morning after having yet another bender.He does this sometimes..slips off the kitty wagon and heads downtown to hang out in the back alleys with his crack cat friends and feline ho's.In the morning he is always at the door-- never says anything, got more dirt on him than a welcome mat in the Louisiana swamps--slinks over the food bowl, eats his food before crashing for the day on the side of the house.

To punish him...I locked him in my room with VH1 playing on the tele...that'll teach em!!


Blondes don't put up with kitty crap!

Should All Breasts have Equality?!

Its not that I dislike feminists...I just don't like them...Here is their argument of which I only posted the beginning...but do you need more?

"It's a question of equality. I think it's a problem that women are sexualized in this way. If women are forced to wear a top, shouldn't men also have to?"Outraged by what they regarded as discrimination, a group of women in southern Sweden made a show of solidarity by establishing the Bara Bröst network. (The name translates both as 'Bare Breasts' and 'Just Breasts'

I don't mind topless woman on the beach as long as the breasts are pretty...but do I really want to see Grandma swinging her double D droopies in the wind as she frolics in the sand. I say Ney!!Equality for women..they want to liberate breasts? Guys don't have to so why should we? That is your argument?!! Of course they are swedish......

and you wonder where blondes come from!

Don’t Burn the ex BoyFriend Bridge

...They might just come in handy..
like say after a string of bad dates. They can offer constructive criticism--it makes them feel better about themselves-- while taking me shopping--making me feel better about myself--
a couple of rules..
He can't have a new girlfriend
He has to be the one to offer
Don't take advantage of his kindness..go for the Fendi perfume but not the Fendi purse..
Dinner and drinks and a kiss good night..
Do not get back together..
Return the favor if needed one day
Blondes shalt not date freaks...no mo'!!

Too much blonde not enough Time

Its a quick moment but none the less a blonde one...
A cold front moved into town while I was at lunch. When I came back I walked passed Shelly's office. She asked, "Is it chilly?"
and I said.."no your Shelly...duh"

Does every blonde hear this way?

This is A Museum Ma'am

Ma'am...You can't stand that close to the paintings.
Why? There are no ropes and I want to see the strokes they used to create the skin in the rennaisance paintings.
Ma'am, I am asking nice please do not stand so close to the paintings
Well, how far can I stand? That is too far and I don't see a line or a rope. I want to see it up close. I promise i won't even breathe while I am looking
Ma'am...I am not asking again. Please you can stand here...
Really, why can I stand there and not here..there are no lines or ropes...doesn't make sense. You agree with me right?
Ma'am, please work with me and stand here
I don't see the line that says I have to stand here..why don't you just let me stand here and you watch me...
Ma'am...alright you may look quickl;y at the painting from here.
I need to get a little closer..and my name is Via
Ma'am ,Miss Via..please, I am not asking again
Good, because its getting tiresome
What would happen if I touched it
Ma'am..Miss Via..please
altright, alright Pinkerton..I am off to the post modern sculptures..
Ma'aM...you can't stand so close to the sculptures
I give up...
Hey Pinkerton..let the blonde look!!