A Big Year

It can all be yours one day but you have to fight for it.

The Blonde hopes you get it all!!!

New Found Respect For Dreads

I do not have the dedication nor patience to deal with dreadlocks. After spending hours waxing and teasing spirals in my hair, I have determined its a look best served surf side.

If I was at the beach with my puka shell choker, bikini, and surfboard...it would look hot.

But in the real world....dreads need to be nurtured and maintained beyond anything my blonde hair has ever known.

Who can sleep with waxed, teased hair under pantyhose at night until its sets. It takes 6 months to set.

I have yet to get all the tangle out and I have washed my hair several times.

Its not a big deal since I am not on a regiment of outings other than to the local grocery to buy canned cat food for my cats. You can be sick and the cats have no sympathy for you if their food bowl is not filled with scrumptious canned delicacy of mystery meat early in the morning and dinner time.

While my hair de-tangles I have been looking at burial options.

If you thought dying was expensive, death is even more so.

I have found Cosco supplies an assortment of coffins in the $300 range. But family will still have to pay for the morgue, mortuary, embalming, grave site...etc....

Its a business you might want to consider because its truly a money maker.

I say coffin but the politer term is casket.

Either semantic still does not help the residual cost of burial.
I could cremate but it is as expensive as embalming. But Cosco does offer a discount ash jar too.

For half the price, I can charter a boat with a dingy into international waters. The boat will leave me floating in a dingy and I will margaritaville it until death kicks in and I can give myself a Vikings Funeral without any cost of body claim.

Either way, I want to thank the Republicans for stopping Obamacare before I finish law school. They will save me the student loan repay they hiked the interest rate up on.

The Blonde is locking in her early demise as cheaply as she can!



I am having a good day today.

I can;t do much but I can sit and watch old movies and twist my hair with wax and make dreadlocks.

I always wanted dreadlocks but I was so busy being what everyone wnated me to be or what I needed to be to get someone to like me that I never really got to do the things that made me....


I have been at it for 5 hours now.

Its tiring to hold up your arms and twist and tease and wax an inch of your hair at a time.

And its a shame I won't see the locks as they should be since it takes 6 months to a year to truly tighten but I like it.

I wish I did it when I had the chance to show them off.

When my friend and I get busy on my obit, it will not be a glowing review of a fearless life.

The worst thing about my life is knowing I was not brave.

I must have held a great act for many years because if you ask people who knew me...they would say I was 'intimidating'.

I must have been a great actor. Too bad I could not win an Oscar for my performance.

I do not believe n heaven and hell.

I believe in reincarnation.

I know I am headed to a new life and I only hope that in my next life...glimpses of this one will show up in my dreams.

I want a window to see my family.

I want a worm hole to come back if my son needs me.

I will not be buried.

I will not be cremated.

I am leaving soon on my own and will just fabulously disappear.

And if you ever wonder where I went...just look in the direction of the ocean when its a full moon.

The Blonde will be headed to Jamaica in her dreams!


After Midnight

And the 4th of July is over.

I did not want to take away the celebration with my silly thoughts.

But, my blog is my savior because I have no one I trust to talk to.

My blog and animals are the only things I believe in these days; exception being my son but I would never burden him with more than he needs to know.

He has his own life to live and I will never make him my crutch.

I really hate parents that lean on children. We should be their rock; not the other way around.


I am leaving soon.

And I want to get as much random shit in as I can.

I will have to leave behind my cats, my son, my things, my life.

I am going somewhere new and I am going alone.

And I am angry that everyone else gets to stay here.

I want to stay here but I know I have to go.

Its fate.

And its time.

My path is paved and I was silly to think I could change it.

I am going where I am supposed to go.

I was hoping to stay but no matter what I tried...

it was never going to be.

Life is 80% your deal

and fate owning the other 20% of what yu wish you could deal with better.

But alas..


FATE has no math skills and its a stubborn bitch who wins just because...


Understanding fate owns you ass even if you busted it to get away causes some ripple that will cause you to be mean to everyone.

And everyone your mean..totally deserves it!

On the fuller side of the empty glass....

Its funny who I think about these days.

I think about all the famous guys I never went to bed with but had the opportunity to.

I think about all the guys I did go to bed with but had the opportunity to say no.

I never slept with anyone I truly was in love with.

I never had that courage.

I know why the men I dated treated me the way that they did.

I would have done the same.

That is why I push them to find real love and know they never will.

We are drawn to the same species.

The Blonde is specie catagoria...Damagia Brokentalia


A Man Like Me

A Blonde has connections!


Reversing Aged Skin

I can't help you with reversing age...

No one can.

They can botox, tuck, laser and do whatever to make you look better but they can't turn back the clock.

And my secret won't either.


I can promise you my secret ( not really a secret if your super smart in common sense area) can almost stop the clock on your epidermis and preserve what you have for a very long time.

I will give you two more clues and then I am done helping you.

1. Pompeii

2. Tar Pits

If you can't figure it out from these clues...

The Blonde won't help you!

I Have the Secret to Youth

Its a simple and silly remedy.

It is not hocus pocus and not something I can get rich off of because it is readily available.

It is so stupid silly...it reminds me of the story about a truck caught under a bridge.

All the experts thought the issue over and none of them could solve it.

It took a young boy with no expertise to ask why they just didn't let the air out of the tires.

Slowing down the aging process is as easy as letting the air out of that truck's tires.

I will give you a few hints.

Imagine yourself as a tree.

Trees are the oldest living being...

Being as in entity not as in human being...

Think of a tree...

What makes a tree sick?

What makes a tree weak?

What makes a tree die?

What makes everything weak?

What makes everything die?


A host that consumes more from its life source than the life source can provide.

You and I are a tree.

We are an organism that millions and millions of tiny hosts feed off of everyday.

If you put your skin under a microscope with a thousand times the power to see the milliscopic bugs that feed off of us...

You will see why you age from the outside in.

All you need is the secret to killing the host that feeds on you.

And I have that secret.

I found it on a sebatical dealing with my own mortality.

I am sure you think a sales pitch is coming, but its not.

I can make you stay the way you look now until you die.

And I can tell you, its not more than $7 for a month's supply.

What I can't tell you, is if I am going to share this info.

I am in hate mode.

Isolation mode.

While I can cure aging on the outside.

I can't cure dying on the inside.


I might just want to bury myself with this stupid, silly, easy, make me laugh how stupid the science community is; or how devious they are to keep it from you just to rake in the mega billions on an anti aging cosmetic farce campaign; simply because I am angry at my demise.

I will be kind enough to give you


Giant freaking hint:

Your the host!!

Billions of microscopic organisms are depleting your system...

What do you need to stop them?

Oh my GOD..its so easy..

The Blonde wants to scream!!

Dead Blonde Walking

I am not sure if I want to burn out or fade away...

I am still working that one out.

Should I crash some hotel room with a psuedo rock star?

I could stage a mock scene from Sid Vicious' days and than silently go about my end.


I could hide out behind the gates like Bridgette Bardot and no one would be the wiser unless a fancy news show picked it up from Reuters.

One thing is for sure.

Fantasy death is far more fun than the reality of one.

Well, hell...

The Blonde gets tired quickly...


Being the Better Person

is so over rated...

I have been the better person for so long that I forgot I deserve better.

Raine in New York...

Augusto in Texas...

Mr Michigan....

The Captain...


and Houston geriatrics...

Are you kidding me?

I could pick you apart one by one and mutilate you by word on my blog but I don;t need do that.

I just need to acknowledge that I am dying.

I am dying!!

44 years on this earth and not one man ever gave me an ounce of love or trust.

And if you think I am carrying forth any unfinished business in the next life?

You do not know me.

I am settling the score this year.

Each and every one of you sad suckers are going to be held accountable.

I am going into the next life on a clean slate.

I would like to give out a special shout to a man that is dead but his children still profit from him.

A mobster!!

A low level, money laundering, under age video taping profiteer who liked to fondle his daughter's friends while he was drunk.

I hope hell has a particularly hot spot for you.

A second shout out to Raine... you shaky handed alcoholic who is way out of his competition's league...Johnny Boy from Georgia will always be better than you!

And a third special hallelujah to Augusto...6 years of loyalty and trust on my end...and nothing but lies and broken promises on your end...

May the chips fall hard on you...

and everyone who took without giving back!

Micky, Freddy, Reny, Herb... you are all Humpty Dumpty and about to fall!!

The Blonde lost her mercy!

Father's Day

No Buffet at the club

No recognition at the church service

A card

A call

A simple day

that is all

A roof

a wife

a home

a life

your children

your grandchildren

your legacy

It is all here

To wrap your life up in one day

how could we?

You are our pillar of salt

our wounded soldier

our sad young boy

just trying to get by


Sweet Daddy Pie...

So what will one day do to make a difference?

Happy Forever from the Blonde in the back of the Mustang!!


Cat Got MY Tongue

When do I get to scream what really happened and started it all?

Not tonight...

My cat Sophie jumped up on the desk and laid on my keyboard.

After 20 years of loving her, she never made this kind of move.

I will hold my screams.

I will hold my anger.

I will hold my vocals on the hurt and why I hate this fucking world.

For you Sophie.....

The Blonde will hold her tongue!!


War On Women

The GOP does not have it out for women; they have it out for everyone.

But to lower yourself to the level of ridiculousness of the GOP and try to cover it by saying its a 'War on Women', is horse manure.

I am not levying the idiots name on this blog but the femme fatale lawmaker from Michigan should be tarred and feathered for taking the podium in the name of women.

How dare she say the stupid rant she did and try to cover it up with her assinine excuse by saying the word 'vagina' is anatomically correct. Sure it is and if your a biology professor teaching anatomy, I say go for it.

But to use it for shock value in a statement that makes absolutely no sense to the issue at hand; I say you might as well used a more flavorful word!

To make an outrageous statement that you are flattered by the attention your vagina is getting to float your rhetoric on abortion rights just took away the attention from the rights of women and placed 3 days of media hype on your usage of vagina.

And to say "No means No" .....UGHHH!!

Maybe you were not privy to the orginial content of that slogan but its meant for date rape victims and to try and recycle it in your sad attempt to speak about abortion rights makes me want to trade in my VAGINA for a baseball bat and knock some sense into you.

No means NO to what?

Aborton or your attention grabbing vagina?!

Its not just the GOP who have gone off their rocker; its the whole establishment.

They are spoiled rotten children playing on our tax dollars.

The Blonde will vote when we clean out the trash!