Eat this, you pussy!!!

Testing for Turnips

One of my job applications passed through its internet bot and passed my app on to the testing bot. I had to take a general English and math test and then...

A work psych test...

They asked over and over how creative I was in solving problems..and while they promote creativity as one of their initial motivators for hiring...

I find the 'out of the box' thinkers are just being manipulated into a worm hole that will spit them out on the other end, bypassing any job opportunities.

Michael Dell said it best in an interview he gave to Forbes, "No one ever hires anyone they think is smarter or more motivated than themselves."

So the next time you see an ad that says 'think outside the box'. that is code for draw out the crazy smart and the Mensa crew...

Play smart but not too smart...

and keep your 'out of the box' thinking inside the lines.

No one wants to worry you will take their job away once they hire you.

The Blonde is testing her knowledge!

Harvesting for Harvard

I am 3k shy of my Harvard tuition.

I am about to sell off the last of my life from the pink house.

I have a 20x20 storage unit containing every thing that was not nailed down to my little pink cottage of love.

1200 square feet of inanimate objects that I collected through hard work and loving memories packed away in now what has become a sad and desolate time capsule.

If you open the door to my storage unit, the scent of my old home flows out.

Every rain storm my son and I danced in and dropped our soaked clothes onto the wood floor

Every bubble bath and shower that was taken in our giant claw foot tub that the cat liked to shit behind when she was mad

Every scented candle that was lit after my friends stayed way too long, drinking all my wine, and leaving their cigarette stench behind

Every meal I cooked with no more than 3 ingredients...salt, pepper, and the main one

The smell of detergent I used to wash the sheets and the fresh air they captured while I strung them up on a laundry line outside

These scents are only a whisper to the 70 years of life my house had before I moved in...

Florence, who owned the home before me, bought the house in 1937. She raised a family of 5 children who signed the deed over to me when I bought it.

I bought the house on a hand-shake. On the word of an honest man.

I asked if I should have a paper drawn up to secure the deal and he said, " I just gave you my word little darling. Why do need a piece of paper?"

I said I didn't need one.

I went on his word.

Everyone around me was pushing that I get it in writing.

Everyone around me was not me...

This life is full of takers and I hate most of everyone.

The last time I ever met anyone like me was the family who sold me my pink house.

"The eldest son told me," We have five of us and 10,000 a piece seems fair."

Not one of them argued. Not one thought they were cheated.

I owned that home for 15 years not looking to ever turn a profit.

I wanted the memory of their unselfish deed be a part of my life.

I am sorry I ruined it.

I am sorry I could not hold on to the house.

I am sorry the house has been flipped and turned for money sake.

The pink house deserved more than that. Its history deserved more than that.

My objects were only a brief memory for that house.

But my objects will pay for Harvard and my law degree will go to every living douche who ever thought money was more important than a life, a home, a history!!

The Blonde will legally whittle down the greedy!


Sharing some vintage, primo momentos or is it momentoes? I need to ask Gore. Is he still alive?

Creepy dude....can;t remember who he is. But apparently I was pissed at him.

How dare this prick think I would have anything to do with him?

You know what pisses me off?

The fact that men who make money think women who don't make money are their playground for sexual deficiency.

This is the un-so suave romantic introduction from a very misguided, unhappily married twit:

Hey Veronica,
Stumbled across your Myspace page......
What a gorgeous, sexy lady....Yummy!.......
Not sure this will work for you, but here goes......
Me; 51 attorney in Austin-- Freetime during the days. Work downtown 6' 180 blond blue. Athletic build. Smart and fun. Dynamic and erotic. Confident and witty. Married....hey, at least I am honest! ....
I want a lady that can generate an intense mental and physical connection, a lady that is hot, mentally and physicially, for lust, passion and total body craving gotta-have-it sex on a recurring basis... ..

Not even the grace to spell check...


The Blonde will shoot you down!

---Damn, I was pissed when I was alive. I like being undead. It seems so much better from my live life. Why was I so pathetic? jeezzz iz...

Sorry, no real God or son of God when your undead...

The Blonde is just trying to relate.;(

UnHoly Hell of a Funny

Spoiler alert..you will be totally offended if you have any religious affiliation!!

The Blonde is free from judgement!

Corrupt Your Kindle

Blinded By Blonde is now on Kindle

Follow the Kindle link and....

Help feed a Blonde!!!

Holy How

Did I miss that it is Easter this weekend? A blonde moment yes but I have disclaimers to go with it.

1. I don't have kids the age of reminding me about a giant bunny that hides eggs.

2. I am not Jewish, and although my friend is and reminded me of his big holiday,
I just thought Passover came before Easter like Hanuka and Christmas

3. I don't watch television and so I missed the Cadbury ads that shoves an egg up a bunnies ass just to plop it out for the big event. And if that is not embarrassing enough for the bunny...they totally kill its dignity with making it sound like a chicken.

The only good thing I can say is I am following the guidelines of Good Friday by not eating meat. And that is just a fluke really since I am into living a little healthier and meat has been off my menu for a while.

All in All, I wish everyone a fun 4 day weekend no matter what the occasion is.

The Blonde blesses the sanctity of a long weekend!


Adding Color

to my very dark world today with the help of the very unlikely color of Macy Gray!!!

What would the Blonde do if she did not have music?


Dallas Twisted but I am Screwed

Thanks Deity on hand.... for nothing!!!

I could have recouped my airfare from another online dating downer but


You sent salt from the skies to rub in my wound all for your entertainment purposes.

I know they are laughing at me. They have a lingering bet board on my trying to grasp the concept of..

giving up on a useless endeavor.

I can't cancel the ticket online and I can't get through the phone system because of the hurricane in Dallas.

I am going to have to eat the price of the ticket.

I think I will frame this ticket in a giant gilded frame to remind myself that any man I find using an online dating system has absolutely no value other than replacing boredom for a few bits of my life.

I am not going to rant on about online dating any more than I have in the past. I am beating a dead horse here.

Its my fault for thinking that their might be someone like me online.

I fess up a little too much..I know that..but why should I hide anything?

Because the perception men have of women online is severely jaded?

Not my problem.

Well, it is...because I got stuck with a tab for trying again.

I am not working Pavlov's theory very well, Am I?

The Blonde is tired of dogs!



What the hell is wrong with the people who post comments on YouTube?

I post on YouTube and I have yet to curse or bash anyone.

I critique. I make people think but I don't trash anyone.

I wrote a comment about a 12 year old girl on some talent show. She was very good but hair raising experience?


I commented on that after seeing the exploits of young children pushed out on stage by eager parents to get rich off their talented little one. I can't help but notice that all the stage Mothers are a bit huge in girth and not very pretty. Some big girls are quite lovely like Queen Latifa, J-Lo, and as soon as I can think of a hefty femme fatale in the caucasian persuasion..I will let you know.


I refrain from commenting things like this on YouTube but my blog is mine and I will say whatever I like.

My comment about this little pint sized junior pop star was merely this:

"I feel she has a great voice for her age but if you close your eyes and not be persuaded by her age, she still has some vocal training to do."

I got 15 hater mail. Curse words and everything.

I never comment back because I am not looking to engage in a conversation with idiots who clearly are just not that savvy in music.

All I am saying is, using your kids to get rich is a poor way to be a parent.

And these talent television shows exploit them to tug at the hearts of viewers and up their ratings. But at what expense to the children?

How do you tell a 4 year old, whom just read a poem about nature with a Boa slithering around her neck, that she is not going to make it to the next round?

The Blonde is not that blind!

Beyond the Boob

Because I have an obsession with pretty breasts, I tend to look at them. And I stare at the ones I like. I do not get any sexual feeling from them. I am not in any way, shape, or form attracted to women in that way although..after the men I have dated...I often wonder sometimes if I rather not want to date chicks.

I did have a lesbian stalker once and she went further than any guy stalker I ever had. She actually broke into my house. What really gets my goat too is the fact she broke the same window that was broken a month before by thieves. Having to replace the same window twice really ticked me off.

I am pretty sure lesbian are a trite more horrid than men.

I have nothing but admiration for the female form but that is all. Perhaps I was a lesbian in a past life and this is the reverb I have coming out.


I am certain I did not get into the private catholic university in Houston because my interview was with a very chubby young girl with a scoop necked top and perfectly sized breasts and her decolletage (the part in between the neck and breast) was peachy and smooth like a baby.

I know she caught me looking at them and although I tried to pass it off as looking at my application..

Forget it.

I was doomed. I am sure she tossed my transcripts in the pervert file.

Quite frankly, if you do not want me looking at them than wear a buttoned down blouse. Don't lycra the very curve of them in a stretchy knit top.

Well, thank God for Harvard. Its a sight unseen acceptance.

The Blonde needs eye to eye contact!


The Incredible Beauty of Natural Breasts

I don't know how to put it any other way.

I have this obsession with a woman's Decolletage...and not the whole part of it but the old version of the meaning...

The bottom of the neck to the top of the chest framed by a GENTLY scooped neckline that shows just enough but flows with femininity AND gracefulness right above the nipple. The skin across the chest from shoulder to shoulder is smooth and soft and the delicate curvature that caves in and causes a shadow that directs your eyes not to the nipple but just above it....where your eyes and mind linger....as if in a spell..

I think a woman's breast, right at the bottom where it curves off the body and slopes up just to the nipple, when untouched and natural no matter the size, shape, age, color...is God's best landscape.

And I can marvel at the beauty of a naturally made breast without wanting to touch it, change it, or conquer it.

The Blonde has only admiration