HAPPY NEW YEAR

History is not Blind

...but its not blonde either!

History books will record many things about this past year but my blog will not be one of them.

A recap of Blondism 2008

Blondes are truly worth loving!!

Blondes still have a lot to learn, as well we all do!!! Peace Y'all!!!

Blondes always find a way to stand on principal!!

Blondes try to grow up well!!

Blondes hate being part of the click!!

Blondes like steering the way!!!

Blondes hate to behave!!

Blondes don't draw the lines!!

Blondes don't like to bail!!

Blondes know there is good and bad in all!!

Blondes are looking for a brighter future!!

Blondes don't need resolution, they just need resolve!!

Blondes make their own history!!

Old Year End

One more day and 2008 will be another year that bit the dust.

I am grateful I made it through with minimal scarring. The end was a bit tough but I am looking forward to the new year. And to begin with a Blonde bang,  I am going back to my online man catalog. 

I have sat through the holidays alone and now that me ex-boyfriend moratorium is over,  and no sign of reconciliation in site, I can move on. 

While most of you will be out feasting on a set price New Years Eve dinner, I will be home ordering mine. I thought I would start with some hors de' vours through Valentine's Day and order the main course sometime at the beginning of summer only to finish dessert in the fall and winter. 

With any luck, dessert will be the one I will have with my morning coffee until some little thing do us part.

Blondes don't need resolution, they just need resolve!!

Apocalyptic Problem

If God is evident in the weather, he is definitely going through some serious mood swings this season in Austin. Having to deal with the Almighty and his high and low temperment is reaking havoc on my closet situation. 

It's one thing to have a large walk in closet to keep all your seasonal clothes in place, but when dealing with an overflow of fashion and a closet the size of a pill box without the ability to put half the clothes away in storage, garments tend to scramble along the edge of the closet floor trying to escape the chaos. 

I have sweaters stacked on chairs, jeans stuffed in baskets, dressers packed beyond maximum fold allowance, shoe valets on every orafice of doors, scarves and hats swung over sculptures, and sunglasses dangling from lamp shades.

I even use my luggage as a storage bin for excess.  

My room looks like a clothing bunker waiting for a fashion Armageddon. 

I would love to accommodate my clothes with a grand walk-in but unfortunately with the pay scale of a blogger and my recent endeavor to go to film school,  I am stuck sleeping on one side of the bed as not to disturb the folded batch of garments fresh from the laundry.

I could use the trunk of my car for coats and the back seat for sweaters but unfortunately its already occupied with tennis bags full of gym clothes and soft sided coolers packed with bikinis.

In effort to find more space, I have decided to be charitable and give things away.  If I give away the things I use the least like pots and pans, I will be able to create pantie pantries and sock drawers in the kitchen!

Besides...

Blondes cook in other rooms!!

Bully for the Bulldog

My baby sis has a bulldog named Balderic. Balderic has a new toy that Santa brought called a bully stick which he carries around in his mouth like a big cuban cigar.

He now cannot go outside to use the doggie dump without his bully stick. He plops his bully rear down concentrating on his bully business while holding the bully stick in his mouth as if he were smoking a stogie.

While most dogs prefer a plush toy or a bone, Balderic prefers the bully stick, known in human terms as a dried up cow dingle.

Blondes wonder what her baby sister is smoking!!

Austin Snowman

Happy Holiday

Hearts will never be Practical

until they become unbreakable. 

I would have to say the same for french nail tips. I tried to peel them away on my own so I could practice strumming on my guitar. 

Big mistake.

My nails, the bits that are left, look like they went threw a wood chipper. I have tried soaking them in acetone, filing them with an emery board, and picking at them with my teeth to get them off. I have mutilated them down to nubs. 

Now I feel bad for all the times I was bored and put a piece of duck tape on the cat's paws to watch them spaz out.

Blonde just got hit with karmic retribution!

 

Sleeping with the enemy

I don’t know how Crack Cat does it but he pushes me to the side of the bed whenever he sleeps in my room. I wake up in the morning sleeping on 6” of edge while he is sprawled out in the middle with covers twisted around him.  I am lucky just to get a corner of the duvet to huddle under. Lately, I have just succumbed to wearing my fluffy robe to stay warm while I maintain a fetal position because the furry slumber natzi won’t let me move.

 I could sleep in a king sized and it would make no difference to Crack Cat. Even though there is an entirely other side to the bed not being utilized, he finds it more comfortable to nestle in between my legs and systematically move my body to less than a square foot of space against the headboard.

 I think he has been reading Tsun Su’s ‘Art of Bed Warfare’. Every move he makes comes directly from a zen masters teachings.  But what he has not learned is the fact that I possess powers far beyond that of those teaching.

AH-Ha...I have opposable thumbs that can open and close doors locking sleep snatching kitties out of my room.

Meow

Scratch, scratch, scratch

Meow

Scratch, scratch, scratch

Meow

Damn, student has surpassed Master.

 Blondes don't need bed bugs!!

Try the Cookie

I spent last night with my Mother making cookies. I got to roll out the dough with the wooden roller thing and place them on the cookie sheet.

 After staying up till 3 in the morning helping her, what is my thanks?

 Hhmm....

 Another murder attempt on my life perhaps?

 Of course, its right before Christmas. She needs to start eliminating family members off her Christmas shopping list so she can keep the money for herself.

 "Try my cookie"

 "I am not hungry"

 "No, go ahead try the cookie, just a little bite."

" I will try it later."

 "I just want to know how it tastes. Try just a bite"

 "Fine, which one?"

"Try the square ones I baked this morning."

I take a bite of a cookie. My Mom stands uncomfortably close to me and she is looking at me intently.

"How is it?"

"Its fine."

"Does it taste strange?"

"No. Why? What did you put in it?"

She starts laughing hysterically.

 "Mother what did you put in the cookie?!"

She doesn't stop laughing.

 "What is in the cookie, woman?!"

 

"Dad, your wife is trying to kill me, again!"

"Did she try to give you her special tea?"

"No, a cookie."

"She tried to give me one. I am on the Christmas list too."

After laughing for five minutes straight she finally answered. 

"Well, you know how I have that big bottle of vanilla extract. Well, it looks just like that new organic kitchen cleaner bottle."

"You fed me household cleaner?"

"Yes, but its organic. It shouldn't hurt you"

"Are you planning on serving the cookies?" 

"Well if they taste alright and you’re not dead in the morning, I don’t see why I can’t serve them."

 She must have a long shopping list. She is killing in bulk this year.

 Blondes should know better than eat sweets!

 

 

 

I Am Finding the Light

...to the dark side of life. Welcome to the Trail of Lights, Austin, TX.

The Blonde always finds a way to brighten things up!!

Facing Demons

You know you its time to stop wallowing in self pity and get out of bed when you start seeing a dead warrior king in a wadded up t-shirt next to you.

The Blonde has an uphill battle!!