Desperate Deisel

I was given a gift from Diesel. It was a sweater, nothing fabulous and decided I wanted to return it.
Going into the store you can feel the desperation when they see my bag.

"OH No..not a return." thought the caddy gay sales clerk.

"Let's bug the crap out of you until we find something to replace that sweater..shall we?!" said the cute anorexic salesgirl.

No thank you..I will just look on my own

"No, No we want to bother you" says anorexic salesgirl

"We really don't want to take your return" says caddy gay sales clerk

I got that thank you but really if I wanted retro 80's graffiti clothes I would have held onto mine

"So how about looking through the catalog" other shadow of a girl salesperson

No thank you, just the money please.

"Well we can't give it to you. I will have to get the super smug manager." says anorexic salesgirl

Excuse me!

"No we have to give you a store credit because we want to make this difficult and painful for you" says super smug manager.

Well than I will call my friend and he can give you his card over the phone..that will work.

Speechless..and they are thinking..and they are thinking..."uh, uh...well we need the physical card." says little lying super smug manager.


Wow. that's pulling it from the bottom of the desperation bag. Fine..I will just fedex the sweater to my friend so he can return it in Houston.


BTW..your clothes suck this season!!

Go home

Check Diesel online for Houston store

Damn..no store in Houston

Fine..new Plan!!




Ring,

Ring,

voice mail...

Hi darling..hate for you to go out of your way but its the principal of the matter. I need you to fly here by Friday to return a sweater.



Blondes always find a way to stand on principal!!

Islamic Flu

I have the Flu!!

My gorgeous 3 day weekend and I have the influenza virus moving around my body like sludge in an ice machine.

I always focus on the culprit whom gave me their dirty germs... not that I am ever going to hunt them down like the disease infested animal that they are and put the rest of the world in a 20 ft. radius of their germ spray at ease knowing they will not fall pray to the germ harboring phleeb. Its more so I can send evil thoughts to them while I am in bed with nothing better to do.

My phleep was this Muslim woman on the plane behind me. You think with all that extra fabric her abaya allows to cover her face... she could have used it over her mouth while coughing to protect the rest of the plane from her virus catapulting through the air vents of the plane.



Blondes don't like how sick the world is getting!!!

Another Blonde Moment

I am at airport security check with my back-pack. I have my laptop, Diva, it has a big 'D' sticker on the top of it, and several notebooks. Everything is neatly stacked.

I put all my things in the cubbies:

Shoes

jacket

lay my backpack down carefully

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Oops..

"Whose bag is this?"

Its mine

"Mam, you can't have stuff on top the laptop."

But its only a sticker!




Blondes need to think first before speak!!

Blonde Moment 183

I needed to return some clothes to the Deisel store. I decided to return the items to the store down by the university in hopes of finding a chill replacement for my return.
I found parking

Ooops!!

I turned to steep

Pull forward

park again

Damn!!

Turned to hard again

Pull forward

Crap..I am wedged in

Now i can't move the car

OOps..bump

OOps...bump

OK...now I am in

at a slight angle

Drivers honk

QWhat?! I ask

You can't loop around?1



Hhmmm

Where is the store?

I could swear it was here

Maybe I am wrong

I will walk in the other direction

Nope

Maybe I missed it

i will walk down the other direction again

Nope

Maybe I should ask someone

I don't feel like asking

its a pretty day

I will turn around and just double check

I walk again in the other direction...again

Nope

I will ask

What?!

It moved to the Domain

Hhmmmmmm



That is where I bought this!




Blonde.................

Cankle Sore

My ankle is still swollen to the size of my calf. I look like I inherited my Grandmother's cankles based on this leg.

I have been buying up Chukka rubber boots to wear while I heal....pun intended!!

The story:

I went to Victoria Secret to buy all new underwear for my trip to Aspen. I knew it would be cold and I wanted just cotton panties and bras.

I bought the collegiate collection with the little patches and i went for the boy shorts because quite frankly I am not a fan of the thong unless absolutely necessary and under thick winter clothes--

Things are not unnecessary

Anyhoo

I get home and I do what every other adult girl would do..I try them on, pour a glass of wuine, turn up the jams and dance on my bed in front of the mirror like a rock star!


CRASH!!


CRACK!!


UH OH!!


I fell off the bed and cracked my ankle on the edge of the suitcase I was packing for my ski trip...pun intended!!

Fortunately, snowboarding uses boots that are more like casts and I was able to use the bunny slope for my fun.



Blondes should use a pole to dance!!