12.25.2007
12.24.2007
Last of 2007 Bodily Harm Blonde Moments
Scrubbed my nipples off with a choreboy scrubbie
Burned my twat with hair removal product
Froze my ass off standing nude in a creek
Fried my Brain reading a bunch of bad blogs
Sprained my fingers having sex with myself
Stubbed my toe trying to make a foot fetish video
Bit my cheek eating a candy cane
Blondes have to have a sense of humor!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAY Y"ALL!!!!
Burned my twat with hair removal product
Froze my ass off standing nude in a creek
Fried my Brain reading a bunch of bad blogs
Sprained my fingers having sex with myself
Stubbed my toe trying to make a foot fetish video
Bit my cheek eating a candy cane
Blondes have to have a sense of humor!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAY Y"ALL!!!!
12.21.2007
Blonde Moment 200
Yes we have hit the two hundred mark!! What of it??!!!
I decided I was too lazy to fight holiday traffic and head to the spa to get a wax. I am having photos done and I would like to be well coiffed for the session.
I had a bottle of hair removal in the cabinet and thought..this is harmless....
Squeeze a bunch on my hand..
slather it all over the tutu and bunny hole
I can't wait to be baby smooth..OH Yeah!!
Ignoring the time limit to make sure I was really smooth..
I started to feel a little tingle
Hmmm...its burning a bit
Hmmm..maybe I should rinse
Ummm..nope..wait a few more seconds....
OK..it kinda really burns now
Ok.. rinse now...Rinse Now!!!
UH OH..
I burned my tutu off ...
burned the tutu like someone set a match to it!!
Blondes need to follow directions!
I decided I was too lazy to fight holiday traffic and head to the spa to get a wax. I am having photos done and I would like to be well coiffed for the session.
I had a bottle of hair removal in the cabinet and thought..this is harmless....
Squeeze a bunch on my hand..
slather it all over the tutu and bunny hole
I can't wait to be baby smooth..OH Yeah!!
Ignoring the time limit to make sure I was really smooth..
I started to feel a little tingle
Hmmm...its burning a bit
Hmmm..maybe I should rinse
Ummm..nope..wait a few more seconds....
OK..it kinda really burns now
Ok.. rinse now...Rinse Now!!!
UH OH..
I burned my tutu off ...
burned the tutu like someone set a match to it!!
Blondes need to follow directions!
12.20.2007
Somebody Slap me!!
So I am totally bored at work and have still been looking on craigslist but not for work..I am TROLLING the adult section under gigs and pretending I am 'girl for hire' but a very respectable..I mean expensive one..than again what do I know about prostitution!!
I tell you..I could not write this stuff myself..well...actually I am writing it but the guys part of the dialog is priceless..better than the married man on myspace!!!
I can't wait to make it a series of short films..once I get my DAMN CAMERA!!!
Exerts from the seedy arena of adult gigs:
Names have not been changed to protect the idiot ...who used his real name!
How big is the house, where is it located..
I am not really a maid but I can clean a house. I need the extra money.
Very nice photo, you look classy and nice. Would you be open to sensual massage and adult fun? Jimmy
How much?
$100
My Mom pays the maid for that and she just cleans
$100 every two weeks and maybe once a week? and I won't even make you clean?
Seems really low but this is Texas
$175 for once every two weeks and
$150 for once a week
and I don't clean....we are talking hand cleaning not clean inside and out.
Inside and out and I can only afford a hundred.....
The price is fixed..no negotiations
Okay I appreciate your honesty. I'll keep your email if I can budget that. Until then if you change your mind please let me know.
Thanks and hope you have a wonderful holiday,
and than he added his photo to the email..schmuckk!!
Blondes should not find things like this funny!!!
I tell you..I could not write this stuff myself..well...actually I am writing it but the guys part of the dialog is priceless..better than the married man on myspace!!!
I can't wait to make it a series of short films..once I get my DAMN CAMERA!!!
Exerts from the seedy arena of adult gigs:
Names have not been changed to protect the idiot ...who used his real name!
How big is the house, where is it located..
I am not really a maid but I can clean a house. I need the extra money.
Very nice photo, you look classy and nice. Would you be open to sensual massage and adult fun? Jimmy
How much?
$100
My Mom pays the maid for that and she just cleans
$100 every two weeks and maybe once a week? and I won't even make you clean?
Seems really low but this is Texas
$175 for once every two weeks and
$150 for once a week
and I don't clean....we are talking hand cleaning not clean inside and out.
Inside and out and I can only afford a hundred.....
The price is fixed..no negotiations
Okay I appreciate your honesty. I'll keep your email if I can budget that. Until then if you change your mind please let me know.
Thanks and hope you have a wonderful holiday,
and than he added his photo to the email..schmuckk!!
Blondes should not find things like this funny!!!
Horny Cat!!
You know some cool cats like to dress up in ladies panties, others like to look at porn, and still others like the strip joints but not mine…
Nope, No way, my cat, Horny Cat, brother to Crack Cat, likes backpacks, knapsacks and gym bags.
He starts rubbing on them, getting himself into a little frenzy of slobbering love and if by God you go near his nylon affectionate substitute before he has time to finish off in the zippered pocket you should expect to lose skin.
It just so happened Horny Cat was making love to my laptop bag and I needed it to check myspace blogs…dammit!!
You can see my urgency..cat cum or blog..it was a simple choice for me really!!
Determined to retrieve my bag unscathed, I like any smart blonde who doesn't like to scar, I volunteered the services of my male compadre'.
"Oh Boo…;We have a Crisis!!"
Being the ever so wonderful friend hoping to one day get laid, he swiftly came (no pun intended) and whisked Horny Cat off the bag thus helping me retrieve my laptop
The problem was…Horny Cat was not done with his knapsack time and needed to finish so he chose to continue his seuel of Pussy Pillow 3 on my friends napsack. Disgusted by the whole affair my so called friend whipped Horny Cat off his nap sack and throws him in my room still with his pink spiky mancatliness whipping about.
Confused and obviously stricken with blue kitty balls . Horny Cat sat in the corner of my room with a confused and hurt expression on his face wondering why his back pack betrayed his love.
Here horny Cat..Here's my Back Pack..Dammit!!
Blondes believe in Animal's Rights to Fetishes!!
Nope, No way, my cat, Horny Cat, brother to Crack Cat, likes backpacks, knapsacks and gym bags.
He starts rubbing on them, getting himself into a little frenzy of slobbering love and if by God you go near his nylon affectionate substitute before he has time to finish off in the zippered pocket you should expect to lose skin.
It just so happened Horny Cat was making love to my laptop bag and I needed it to check myspace blogs…dammit!!
You can see my urgency..cat cum or blog..it was a simple choice for me really!!
Determined to retrieve my bag unscathed, I like any smart blonde who doesn't like to scar, I volunteered the services of my male compadre'.
"Oh Boo…;We have a Crisis!!"
Being the ever so wonderful friend hoping to one day get laid, he swiftly came (no pun intended) and whisked Horny Cat off the bag thus helping me retrieve my laptop
The problem was…Horny Cat was not done with his knapsack time and needed to finish so he chose to continue his seuel of Pussy Pillow 3 on my friends napsack. Disgusted by the whole affair my so called friend whipped Horny Cat off his nap sack and throws him in my room still with his pink spiky mancatliness whipping about.
Confused and obviously stricken with blue kitty balls . Horny Cat sat in the corner of my room with a confused and hurt expression on his face wondering why his back pack betrayed his love.
Here horny Cat..Here's my Back Pack..Dammit!!
Blondes believe in Animal's Rights to Fetishes!!
12.13.2007
Blonde Moment 191
Work has been very slow and I have been modeling again. In Austin there is not much to pick from and so I surf craigslist at work on the work computer.
O.K. so I click on Talent under the Gigs...
I scroll through
No
No
No
hmmm...this one looks alright
Foot Model...
Must be for shoes or even better ...boots!!
Click
Please check out our web page for more detail
Ok
Click
If you are older than 18 click here
18? hmm....Why do you have to be 18 to buy shoes?!
Maybe they are really sexy shoes!! or even better sexy thigh high boots!!
Click
NOT SHOES...
NOT SHOES...
Click Out!!
Click Out!!
Erase Cache!!
Delete History File!!
Blondes didn't know penis was a foot accessory!!
12.10.2007
Holy Crap its Xmas
Its begun....My Dad goes a little nuts on this holiday..he lines his lights exactly 1 1/2 inches apart around the windows ..each one straight as a soldier in formation. There will be a total of 5 trees
The Dickens Village tree--
The glass Bird menagerie tree
The fresh tree where only 3-6 tinsel strings may be applied
The Disney tree
and the prodigal grandson's tree
There will be 4 lighted reindeer outside
3 large wooden nutcrackers
2 train sets
and one x-mas scam:
phone call
Mother to Eldest daughter, "So your father only gave me so much for presents this year and I have to buy all these people gifts..I don't know how I can afford it all"
Eldest daughter to Mother, "Thats alright Mother you don't have to get me anything"
next phone call
Mother to youngest daughter, "So your father only gave me so much for presents this year and I have to buy all these people gifts..I don't how to afford it all"
Youngest daughter to Mother, "That's alright Mother you don't have to get me anything"
next phone call
Mother to middle daughter, "So your father only gave me so much for presents this year and I have to buy all these people gifts..I don't how to afford it all"
Middle daughter to Mother, "Thats alright Mother you don't have to get me anything"
so Christmas closes in and Mother has purchased nothing, Father scrambles to to buy last minute gifts and I hear mumbling on the phone in the background...something about a swiss bank account...
HAPPY BEGINNING OF THE HOLIDAYS!!
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