Why would I want to be confined to a cell?
There are certain times when I need 'me' time and the cell phone is just another distraction that I don't want to have to deal with.
I, actually enjoy playing with myself sometimes.
OK... you can have 10 seconds to picture what you are picturing.
10
8
2
1
OK, back to 'get real' now.
Seriously, what is with the addiction of the cell phone. Do you really need to be within twenty seconds reach of text messages, downloaded emails, and the vintage voice call?
I am not about to play Pavlov's dog to a bunch of ring tones alerting me of the multitude of different messages accumulated on my phone.
Maybe if I got a treat every time it rang, I would be more responsive.
If I knew something shiny and expensive was going to be plopped into my blonde behavioral feast bowl every time I heard the un-symphonic notes of a generic ringtone, I might be more inclined to answer.
I know we can't turn the world around us off, but once in a while, it feels good to tune it out.
The Blonde will be back to beck and calls!!!
5.18.2009
5.15.2009
Bravo, N Y Housewives!!
...for showing the world what it looks like when too much money and menopause congregate in the same arena.
I have to give kudos to the casting director for this show. You know, whomever, sat around and looked for women with egos and issues the size of a monsoon but still have qualities that make them likable couldn't have been an easy task. The extra kick to spice up the show with the beauty bobble head was totally a man's two cents, but good sense it was. The show became more of a feature for Animal Planet than Bravo, especially when the claws and daggers of the insecure housewives came out to protect the threat of their nest totally built on carefully intertwined twigs of neuroses.
Forget the Gucci baggage, these housewives are carrying a Louis Vuitton steamer trunk to carry their weight of crazy. Still, you have to give them credit, they would still come under weight requirements set by the FAA simply by dumping any sense of decency and decorum during their reunion show.
I have finished my last season with the New York femi-neophytes but only to get sucked right back into another one with the entrance of the Jersey Housewives. I swear I am going to pull the plug on my dirty little affair with Bravo and get help for my voyeuristic endeavors...
Just as soon as I see the table tipping fight.
The Blonde hates to mingle with wives!!!
I have to give kudos to the casting director for this show. You know, whomever, sat around and looked for women with egos and issues the size of a monsoon but still have qualities that make them likable couldn't have been an easy task. The extra kick to spice up the show with the beauty bobble head was totally a man's two cents, but good sense it was. The show became more of a feature for Animal Planet than Bravo, especially when the claws and daggers of the insecure housewives came out to protect the threat of their nest totally built on carefully intertwined twigs of neuroses.
Forget the Gucci baggage, these housewives are carrying a Louis Vuitton steamer trunk to carry their weight of crazy. Still, you have to give them credit, they would still come under weight requirements set by the FAA simply by dumping any sense of decency and decorum during their reunion show.
I have finished my last season with the New York femi-neophytes but only to get sucked right back into another one with the entrance of the Jersey Housewives. I swear I am going to pull the plug on my dirty little affair with Bravo and get help for my voyeuristic endeavors...
Just as soon as I see the table tipping fight.
The Blonde hates to mingle with wives!!!
5.14.2009
Match.com is a Full Time Job
and I don't like to work that hard unless its for a good cause.
I made it to 19 days before I started to drunk reply to my messages. I would pop the cork on a bottle of vino and settle in to screw around with virtual match addicts. There are so many of them that Betty Ford would do well to open up a special wing for their rehabilitation.
I know the Captain is probably reading this and thinking I mean him but he will be relieved to know he isn't in the hot seat...this time!!
I know there are some decent love stories to come out of Match.com, I actually had dinner with a couple last week that met on Match and married, and I have met some killer friends, but I think Cupid would have an easier time piercing the tail of a lightening bug than get me to sift through the cornucopia of copy, intended to charm a pretty girls panties away, just to find one sweet guy.
Besides, I am almost Cougar status.
I need to focus on my career and Bogart as many bucks as I can before my face falls off and I have to glue it back on like Joan Rivers. I wonder how much quan she has to pay out for spooning?
Gah bless anyone looking for the real deal on Match.
I will rub a Buddha belly for you!!
The Blonde will cheer from the sidelines.
I made it to 19 days before I started to drunk reply to my messages. I would pop the cork on a bottle of vino and settle in to screw around with virtual match addicts. There are so many of them that Betty Ford would do well to open up a special wing for their rehabilitation.
I know the Captain is probably reading this and thinking I mean him but he will be relieved to know he isn't in the hot seat...this time!!
I know there are some decent love stories to come out of Match.com, I actually had dinner with a couple last week that met on Match and married, and I have met some killer friends, but I think Cupid would have an easier time piercing the tail of a lightening bug than get me to sift through the cornucopia of copy, intended to charm a pretty girls panties away, just to find one sweet guy.
Besides, I am almost Cougar status.
I need to focus on my career and Bogart as many bucks as I can before my face falls off and I have to glue it back on like Joan Rivers. I wonder how much quan she has to pay out for spooning?
Gah bless anyone looking for the real deal on Match.
I will rub a Buddha belly for you!!
The Blonde will cheer from the sidelines.
5.13.2009
Bob Seger and Silver Bullet Band Leads Me Back
In the moments that I feel I am fighting against a world that has no care for what is really important, I play music to adjust my thoughts.
I am nobody and .eco will go to the Yaley and the Bore, not because they deserve it but because they can have it. Capitalism is far from the Utopian world I envision but most would argue that I only have this vision out of a sense of not having money.
I say to them, " You are right. I don't have it, but I did, and than I woke up."
I have learned that I have something a bit more powerful than money.
I have family.
I have love.
I have music.
I have something, that moves and inspires me every day, way beyond the inspiration that grabbed hold of our most brilliant and brought them and the most powerful country to its knees.
The U.S. is no longer the prom queen, but it doesn't mean it can't dance to the last song of the night and remember what it was like to be young, and naive, and think the world was at its feet.
My hands were steady
My eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose
My steps were quick and light
And I held firmly
To what I felt was right
Like a rock
Like a rock, I was strong as I could be
Like a rock, nothin ever got to me
Like a rock, I was something to see
Like a rock
And I stood arrow straight
Unencumbered by the weight
Of all these hustlers and their schemes
I stood proud, I stood tall
High above it all
I still believed in my dreams
Twenty years now
Whered they go?
Twenty years
I dont know
Sit and I wonder sometimes
Where theyve gone
And sometimes late at night
When Im bathed in the firelight
The moon comes callin a ghostly white
And I recall
The Blonde sees a better life!!
I am nobody and .eco will go to the Yaley and the Bore, not because they deserve it but because they can have it. Capitalism is far from the Utopian world I envision but most would argue that I only have this vision out of a sense of not having money.
I say to them, " You are right. I don't have it, but I did, and than I woke up."
I have learned that I have something a bit more powerful than money.
I have family.
I have love.
I have music.
I have something, that moves and inspires me every day, way beyond the inspiration that grabbed hold of our most brilliant and brought them and the most powerful country to its knees.
The U.S. is no longer the prom queen, but it doesn't mean it can't dance to the last song of the night and remember what it was like to be young, and naive, and think the world was at its feet.
My hands were steady
My eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose
My steps were quick and light
And I held firmly
To what I felt was right
Like a rock
Like a rock, I was strong as I could be
Like a rock, nothin ever got to me
Like a rock, I was something to see
Like a rock
And I stood arrow straight
Unencumbered by the weight
Of all these hustlers and their schemes
I stood proud, I stood tall
High above it all
I still believed in my dreams
Twenty years now
Whered they go?
Twenty years
I dont know
Sit and I wonder sometimes
Where theyve gone
And sometimes late at night
When Im bathed in the firelight
The moon comes callin a ghostly white
And I recall
The Blonde sees a better life!!
5.12.2009
Blonde Temper Tantrum
I may or may not have had a little tantrum last night of which I blogged about but quickly erased this morning.
Had a certain someone not contact me about a certain idea I was interested in, the point would be mute but after being contacted by that someone and reading up on the press releases and seeing a certain head of spoiled meat having part in that idea; I now have to strategically plan that the idea, I can not participate in, not be given away so easily to a bunch of spoiled brats with no real desire for anything other than more money.
Where is the Dalai Lama when I need him?
He should be the face of the eco domain and not Al Bore (click and learn) who preaches but doesn't practice!
I think doteco should go to a company that believes in giving back, say 10% of the profit to save the planet. How about Tom's Shoes? Have him apply for it. We can all chip in and raise the funds for him.
The Blonde wants a better deal!!
Had a certain someone not contact me about a certain idea I was interested in, the point would be mute but after being contacted by that someone and reading up on the press releases and seeing a certain head of spoiled meat having part in that idea; I now have to strategically plan that the idea, I can not participate in, not be given away so easily to a bunch of spoiled brats with no real desire for anything other than more money.
Where is the Dalai Lama when I need him?
He should be the face of the eco domain and not Al Bore (click and learn) who preaches but doesn't practice!
I think doteco should go to a company that believes in giving back, say 10% of the profit to save the planet. How about Tom's Shoes? Have him apply for it. We can all chip in and raise the funds for him.
The Blonde wants a better deal!!
5.11.2009
Here She Comes Again
walking down the hall
la la la lala
While I try to write
la la lala
she is talking up a storm
la la lala la
la la
la la di da
MOM!!!!!!
One thing about being a boomeranger that works from home is the fact that the parents do not recognize the work as actual employment but rather an opportunity to annoy their daughter with rhetoric not pertaining to said daughter.
I am working!!
Oh, oh, sorry...did you see the new vase I bought.
Mother, I am in the middle of something, please?
But of course dear, I won't bother you again.
Thank you
Just come and look at the vase, its very old. Your Father will die if he knows I bought it.
I will when I am done!
Oh, oh OK
La la lala di da
From the other side of my door, I hear an argument.
What did you buy now, woman?!
Nothing Dear, its just a vase from the store.
mumble, mumble, screaming, yelling, door slam....
pitter patter of blonde footsteps....
la la la uh oh la
my door opens
Did you hear what your Father said? He didn't even see the vase.
Did you look at my vase?
No Mother, I did not, I was trying to finish my work that pays for my car, that I will need, in the event of my mental breakdown, in order to drive myself to the loony bin and finish my work from a padded cell!
Oh, OK, when your done...come look at the vase.
No doubt, The Blonde is back at home!!!
la la la lala
While I try to write
la la lala
she is talking up a storm
la la lala la
la la
la la di da
MOM!!!!!!
One thing about being a boomeranger that works from home is the fact that the parents do not recognize the work as actual employment but rather an opportunity to annoy their daughter with rhetoric not pertaining to said daughter.
I am working!!
Oh, oh, sorry...did you see the new vase I bought.
Mother, I am in the middle of something, please?
But of course dear, I won't bother you again.
Thank you
Just come and look at the vase, its very old. Your Father will die if he knows I bought it.
I will when I am done!
Oh, oh OK
La la lala di da
From the other side of my door, I hear an argument.
What did you buy now, woman?!
Nothing Dear, its just a vase from the store.
mumble, mumble, screaming, yelling, door slam....
pitter patter of blonde footsteps....
la la la uh oh la
my door opens
Did you hear what your Father said? He didn't even see the vase.
Did you look at my vase?
No Mother, I did not, I was trying to finish my work that pays for my car, that I will need, in the event of my mental breakdown, in order to drive myself to the loony bin and finish my work from a padded cell!
Oh, OK, when your done...come look at the vase.
No doubt, The Blonde is back at home!!!
Blonde Summer Beauty tips
Wraps over a bikini is a poor excuse for not toning up the thighs for summer. If your lazy and can't get out of the house for exercise, at least buy some Doctor Scholls to help tone the back of thighs and calves while walking around your casa.
Another easy thing to do, is put down the Pinot Grigio. Ladies, if you watch the NY Housewives series, check out just how damaging white wine is to a figure by oogling the waist and thighs of Ramona. She is an avid gym guru and still can't keep a girlish figure when downing the high sugar content in her daily wine ritual. She may not have plumped out to the size of the Sopranos but she is getting there.
Betheny is too neurotic and her skinny may have something to do with tossing her skinny girl cookies after the show, and Kelly girl, seems to be flying high on diet pills, so take a healthy route to your summer bod and just cut out the sugars and add a little exercise.
If you wait a little longer I will be coming out with my sexercise line of toys like the 'hippety hump me' and the 'resistant desk chair'. No reason you should sit at work all day when you can have an option of tweaking your bum with a chair that forces you to press down on it to keep it from rising up every time you type. The 'hippety hump me' may not be suitable for the office considering it has a special something to keep you riding an orgasm to slimmer thighs but you can bounce your way to happiness while watching the Jersey Housewives coming up this May.
Life for a blonde is all about looking good and feeling good no matter what you do. But what you do should be fun.
Blondes are shaping up for hot weather!!
Another easy thing to do, is put down the Pinot Grigio. Ladies, if you watch the NY Housewives series, check out just how damaging white wine is to a figure by oogling the waist and thighs of Ramona. She is an avid gym guru and still can't keep a girlish figure when downing the high sugar content in her daily wine ritual. She may not have plumped out to the size of the Sopranos but she is getting there.
Betheny is too neurotic and her skinny may have something to do with tossing her skinny girl cookies after the show, and Kelly girl, seems to be flying high on diet pills, so take a healthy route to your summer bod and just cut out the sugars and add a little exercise.
If you wait a little longer I will be coming out with my sexercise line of toys like the 'hippety hump me' and the 'resistant desk chair'. No reason you should sit at work all day when you can have an option of tweaking your bum with a chair that forces you to press down on it to keep it from rising up every time you type. The 'hippety hump me' may not be suitable for the office considering it has a special something to keep you riding an orgasm to slimmer thighs but you can bounce your way to happiness while watching the Jersey Housewives coming up this May.
Life for a blonde is all about looking good and feeling good no matter what you do. But what you do should be fun.
Blondes are shaping up for hot weather!!
5.07.2009
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