Music is My Way, What is yours?

Let's let it go and get gone!!

Big Fat No On Baylor

Merit scholarships only go up to $5000 for transfer students, even with a 3.5 or higher. So that means I would have to pay easy installments of $1000 a month in order to make up the difference from my scholarship and loans.

That $1000 does not cover books or housing or food. If I am going to fork over an extra grand of bill a month, I rather not be in the middle of Waco, where the youth leave and the mentally ill go to die in the surrounding facilities.

Waco was a depressing thought of a town, I really thought they would want to entice me with a little extra just for living in the barrios of Texas.

So, its a waiting game with SMU and working on fall back plan which will probably incude another semester at community college while I wait to here from schools that are less expensive and offer Spring registration.

Little hitches in my education groove is fine...its not stopping me...I will get that law degree...

Someday soon

The Blonde is just lean on school funding!


I have A Screenplay

It starts with finding a non-descriptive watch..its digital with magnifying lens. Non-descriptive back suggesting a cheap watch but...

The weight...

the weight of time

on this piece is undeniable...

and if I were to put it on my wrist

and click the clasp...

tick, tock

My son is off to Afghanistan,,,

tick, tock....

I signed the back of my license to be a donor...

tick, tock...

tick, tock....

Why did this wrist watch end up in a place that no wrist watch should be...

and why do I feel comforted by the weight of its band?

tick, tock....

The Blonde used to find time obsolete!!!

Teet Tot, teet Tot

I am on a teeter totter with Baylor at one end and SMU at the other.

Baylor came in a little too low on their transfer scholarship and apparently, I am not eligible for the merit scholarships-not because of grades- but because I didn't just jet out of high school.

SMU, I had a little issue with my name not matching social security so i had to fix my driver's license to match my SSC...so i am back to my maiden name

Sort of...

My name was spelled wrong on the birth certificate and that is now what I am going by. Still doesn't match my social security name but its only off by one letter..

Its nice to have a new name, new hair do, and eventually a new flat.

Whether that is going to be in Dallas or Waco, its up in the air until I receive my award package from SMU.

I prefer Dallas, only because an all university town is not going to be able to offer much to me in the form of a life outside school and work.

Waco is charging premium prices for their living quarters because they can get away with screwing the students. The only nice places to live have such an exorbitant amount of rent, you could live in a high rise in downtown Dallas -with a view- for the same price..its super ridiculous.

The rest of the area around Waco is just a manifestation of hideousness...When Section 8 is OK on the rental menu..that is going a little too ghetto for me.

Pray with the Blonde and Rick Perry for a better future in Dallas!

New Do

The Blonde went pixie!!


Rob Thomas

He writes about me..even though he's never met me...which makes me know, I am ot the only one in the world.

You can't Count On me

But I could never count on you!!

The Blonde is Even Steven!

When the World is at Your Feet

but your standing on thin ice..always remember to dance..displace that weight and dance...idiot!

The Blonde can be an idiot but loveable all the same!!!

Furry Walls

the Blonde has had some Jeffrey Moments!!


Goldie Locks Chopped Off

I chopped my golden locks down to a pixie hair style and I thought I might cry afterward but really I did not shed one tear for my hair.

I am changing as a person on the inside and I am trying to be taken seriously as a woman. My long hair was more a fantasy for men and its getting in the way of me being taken seriously as someone that should be loved and cherished and committed to.

I do not want to be the fantasy girl any more.

Quite frankly, I don't want to be anyone's girl anymore.

My birthday is Sunday and I am moving on in a positive direction with my life.

I never really receive the respect I deserve from family, and that was reflected in the men I dated; because unless you have a husband and a house, there is something not worth respecting...I guess is there mentality.

Its not mine but I have learned it will not change and like friends who perceive me to be what I was a long time ago aren't worth keeping. I have to come to the same conclusion with family members who have not honored me as a Mother and grown woman.

While I have my one day a month where I can be a total biatch do to chemical imbalances from PMS and with a little wine I can be out of hand but that is only out of response to the frustrations I have with the actions of some of my family members.

I will be moving next month and I know I wont bee visited by my son and I realize he has a life and it makes me sad that I will be alone. Its a single Mother's sadness that no one in my family can or will try to understand.

When you have no one but your child and he is growing apart from you..its sad...and even more debilitating when my own parents have fostered alienation among family with gossip and talk behind my back.

I know one day, things will be different. When I have regained my position in society with a home, money and a career.

I should have never let him stay with my parents. I thought they loved me but their actions proved far from otherwise when it concerned me as a Mother.

After all, what kind of Father would threaten his daughter and say he will take me to court for being an unfit Mother if I tried to get my son back.

I can't change the past but I was never an unfit Mother, just a broke one. And I loved my son enough to give him what I thought would be a better home at my parents while I worked on finding my place in this world.

Biggest mistake of my life and I will have to forgive myself and move on but it would have been nice to have support from family instead of bashing me and talking behind my back.

One day...

I hope my son will get to see me for me and not what my family has made me out to be.

The Blonde is slowly letting go of the past!!


No Apology Needed

Some times right takes awhile to show up!!

I Am finding My Place

You can't see my bruises but they are below the skin, just behind the heart and I am trying really hard not to let the scars harden everything but I am afraid it may be lost...