How Pretty Humans Are Underneath

at least, the physical aspect. I know a lot of butt ugly down under the epidermis but this blog is not about the haters.

This is a rotating picture (compliments of wikipedia) of a fingertip. The pretty little waves are the different layers of fat underneath the skin.

I discovered this photo when I began researching the HCG product I am trying and if you look to your left selling as well.

Its not enough to take someone's word that a product works. I have to try it for myself. And although I do not need to loose weight, I am a bit obsessed about the subject and like every other femme would like to be five pounds thinner than I am.

And of course, Like most femm-a-bods, when I loose the five pounds, I will want to loose five more.

I have taken HCG for about five days. The first 3 days I was hungry and cranky. I blame the colon cleanse on the cranky bit but oddly enough I am not so irritated (with exception of Augusto -- still wickedly chapped at him) and I...

and hold on to this shocker...

Have not been interested in wine lately.

I know...

Messing with my vino habit is a huge drawback as far as I am concerned but I am hoping that instinct will kick in and my happy vino time will come back so I can enjoy my American Spirit (no additives does not mean a safer cigarette--whatever, es it does) the porch when the moon hits again.


OK

so the HCG drops I take has curbed my appetite...not just for wine and puffery but for food, in general, as well...

I think I ate an egg and a plum today...still not hungry.


Its only been five days and so let's see if the noshing comes back with the vino.

If its a bogus product, I will let my readers know.

I wont stop working for the company because I like the fact they do use real product without fillers, it pays well, I work from home, and I make my own hours.

And if anyone has been paying attention to this blog..you know how desperately I need a job that can fit around school and afford me some stress free study time.

Half the battle is not having the urge to eat.

The Blonde is concentrating on her inside!

Infedelity Keeps Us Together

The recent New York Times magazine article about the praises of infidelity to keep a marriage alive leaves me out of the 'US' in the title.

I am not married. I am the single chick who men in relationships try to get with to keep their 'real' commitment to the other woman in tact.

Mother F$#@%!!!!!

I can't tell you how this article struck a debacle in my chord!

Not because I was reading it as a married person, of which I might be more sympathetic, and even more so, I would be all for pandering the help of some safe girl for my hubby if I was not in the mood for sex for half a century or so...
As long as he provdes for me a wonderful life...I would provde him with the same.

Just don't put it in my face and let me be the main love and...

But I am not the wife that is taken care of.

I am the girl that Augusto thinks should take care of him while he takes care of his wife.

Yes, Augusto is married and its not a problem as long as we stick to tennis and biking and our friday night happy hour.

Going to Miami was not a problem. I treated him like my gorgeous gay. I had my own room and I was with a gorgeous hunk to flutter around the beach with and still free to mingle with other men!!

BUT!

Augusto just moved back to Austin and wants to pick up at the beginning of the realtionship when he was seperated or divorced or whatever lie I was gullible enough to believe 6 years ago.

I started this blog because of this sucubine jerk and its taken me years to just be alright with him as a freind but now...

I have had all I can take from his whining to wheel be back into a relationship that is not a realtionship worth having.

I am single, going to law school, and still pretty fucking cute so why on earth would I consider going to a school, not based on its merit, but rather its vicinity to an easy love nest (which I am paying for) for this turd extrodinaire?!

Sorry Augsuto,

I am headed to where the single men roam free around the campus that is in the top 5 of law schools in Texas.

After chewing his ass out for even suggesting such bologne...


This Blonde is on a hunger strike!!

GED

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers!!


BUT WHAT IS MOST CONCERNING TO ME IS THE IDIOTS WHO CAME UP WITH THE QUESTIONS!!!

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow


Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious (do dishes) can be soft as your face.

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head


And why did the Blonde waste her time in school?

I am pre-Legally Blonde

Who is headed to law school?

The Blonde is!!

I am formally accepted to Baylor and still waiting to hear from SMU but Baylor is a litigation law school and who better to argue out her past aggressions on unsuspecting jurors?

I am!!

The whole world has shifted today. I no longer feel like I am in limbo and its not because the Catholic church decided to do away with it.

Its because my life is moving in a forward motion. Yes, I still have trouble with finances this summer but if I can hold out just two more months...I am still not going to be golden but I will have a bit of worth with grants and scholarships and with a little bit a faith...a part time job in a law firm in Waco.

Waco...I know its bubbaville but my car will blend much better in Waco than Dallas.

I don;t want to live in a rich person's world being poor. I feel more comfortable playing an average Jess in a rural town where I can rent a small farm shack and have room for art, sewing, studying, and yes...even maybe a mini dairy cow to babysit my obnoxious cats.

Fate brought me this opportunity just as much as I have worked for it. I am going where the Gods lead me and if its in the middle of bum fucked Egypt...

I will take it.

I will gladly go where I was never willing to go before and its exciting and its scarey and I am finally brave enough to meet the challenge.

The excitement will soon wear off like the Miami fun did but at least now, I know I am headed somewhere.

I have a road map.

Its been carved out before I was born, I just never followed it. I made the mistake of trying to change things but I really do believe that my life was cast and my only failure was refusing to see it.



This time, the Blonde is following her map!!

Blonde Moment #...

I lost count!


So I had a blonde moment yesterday. Boo and I were coming home from the store and he left the wiondow down in my car. I went to get in and turn the key to put the window up.

"What are you doing?"

"I am putting the window up."

"Why don't you just put the key in the door and turn it until the window goes up?"

"My car doesn't do that."

"Oh my Gah, Mother how long have you been driving the car?"

"A long freakin time."

"Turn the key until it locks and hold it. Seriously?!" As he continues to shake his head and rub his eyes in dismay.


So I took the key out of the ingnition without rolling up the window. I got out of the car, shut the door, placed the key in the lock, twisted the key, and held it for a few seconds.

Low and behold...the angels appeared and rolled up my window from the outside of the door.

I wonder what else my car can do?


Uhh, big duh for the blonde!!