Detoxing at The V Spa

I have been going a little harder, on weekends, than I should and it is time to check out of the scene for a bit, or at least this week before the weekend starts again.

I am hiding low and working on staying in shape. I don't like to exercise too much, I am afraid my body might get used to it and demand a daily regimen, and if I fail it will turn against me and become my enemy in the war to stay thin and young.

I have noticed people who take their sports to extremes tend to look older and unnatural, especially women; their cut muscles and over tanned skin look unappealing to me in the sense that I do not wish to mimic them. I do, however, like to stay healthy and unfortunately sex isn't included in the physical sport arena.

I prefer living in moderation with everything. When I feel my life is unbalanced in one direction, like going out too much or writing too much, I recorrect it and work on a part of my life that has been neglected and for now that is my physical well being.

We all need to reassess our situation as often we can. We need to know and understand when our world needs more time for work, more time for play, more time for relationships, or more time to goof off and be as decadent as Bacchus...or less of it!

The Blonde is busy being a moderate!!!

The Promise Land

How many promises have been broken over the years?

We all have made them, we all have broken them.

Promises made in front of an alter, in front of God and family, only to say...Oops..I really just meant the better part; I was crossing my fingers when I said I would stick around for the worst.

I guess I am a bit cynical about marriage because I have been single for so long. I hear too many stories of bad break ups and divorces. It scares me to think I will end up being someones mistake, only to become their entertaining fodder of evil relationships to a future date.

I have to consider the fact that I have a few gents out there that carry on about me in a negative light; but I am fairly certain it was not because I was really a bad seed but more a sour apple that didn't fit their tastes.

I have a few antidotes of my own that I share with new dates but it is more along the lines of why we didn't fit, as opposed to trashing someone to make me look like an angel.

I have no idea why I haven't traveled down the long isle that turns down the marriage road. I guess, I have never found the one that I think I can spend my life with. If I ever marry, I would like to think it will be the promise I never break. But the more I hear about marriage from the unhappy sector, and the more I read about Internet sites that placate to adultery, like its the new therapy for dysfunctional marriages, I have to wonder?

Is the gesture of a wedding just a symbolic joke?

Do people marry for love anymore?

Or do they marry to keep up appearances and hold onto the old myth of the American dream?

I saw "Revolutionary Road" and while it swung more to the dramatic sense of a dismal life for those who want more than what society dictates, there were some very valid points to be made to those that fall prey to the antiquated version of a family.

Too often, rules of the social norm get twisted into a deformed sense of reality. And from this twisted thought of reality, comes the very real and ugly end to many of the futile relationships it spawned.

Too many children's lives are disrupted by the anger of divorce, and by parents, that are so selfish in their desire to hurt one another, because they refuse to take responsibility for their half of a failed marriage; and too many children are put through endless battles they must witness before dinner time, because Mummy and Daddy are staying together, no matter how much they dislike each other, for the sake of them.

This is the 21st century and children of single parent households can be just as well adjusted, if not more, than children in a two parent household and probably more adjusted than their peers in a divorced household. And just to set the record straight, if you are a divorced parent and share custody, you are not a single parent.

Modern day relationships have no ability to handle a life long commitment. The "Save Marriage Act" is a joke. Why is our democracy involving themselves in a dispute of what a marriage is based on a religious definition? What ever happened to the separation of church and state?
Didn't we flee Britain because the church had too much say in our lives?

Marriages are failing all around us, not because of the sexual orientation of partners, but because sexual desires aren't being met in the bedroom.

Grow Up America...because the world is growing around you and the vintage version of life taught in the 5 minute sermon between the musical entertainment at your Mega Church is promising a dead end.

Blondes are taking a higher road of education!!

Its Not Time to Be Qiuet

It is not the time to be congenial or charming. It is time for the Blonde to stand up and speak!!

Did Martin Luther King stop his speeches because of threats?

Did Bobby Kennedy give in to fear?

Did anyone worthy of a voice of peace and hope and truth cave into malicious attacks on their person?

No!!

And neither will I.

I have been guilty of pandering to those around me to speak a softer mind, to be funnier, to be more congeal in my attacks on society and personal encounters; but no more!!

I have had enough of the passive aggressive society I live in and I am going to turn this world upside down and find the good in all of you, with the tough love you need!!

I am sick of placating to a world that won't take responsibility!

Learn to play chess!

Learn Newton's law of physics!!

Learn science!

Learn all religions!

Learn other culture!

Learn, learn, learn!!

Blondes can't teach a stupid crowd!

Love in the Time of.....

everything.

It is the time now, and then, and forever beyond. It has no limits and I fear my only curse on this earth is that I let myself love all of earth's creatures; including man.

And man is the saddest let down of all!!

I love animals so much that I worry every time it freezes, because I know there are people that chain their pets to a fence or won't let them in the house when its cold because they are allergic to them. I wonder why they have to hurt them? Why must they own an animal that they call a family pet but treat it like a rodent.

Please don't teach an animal to be sufficient on your love, when you have no love to give them!!

I hate zoo's because I see wild animals that committed no crime being locked up and fenced in an environment that makes them a novelty to human society. I thought we have out grown the age of the elephant man, but we haven't grown at all.

Evolution should be that which evolves us to a better understanding of all creatures, but we can only see ourselves; our selfish selves!!

We don't care how the cow is killed, only how the steak tastes.

We don't care how the homeless survive, just as long as they don't live near us.

We don't care to change the world, we care only that our children cash in on our new found dough and we teach them that they are above others who don't have as much.

I really think parents are missing the point of Darwin's theory. The jock without a brain dating the pretty girl with a Prada bag equals another idiot born into society.

Footballs and handbags only go so far!!

What a shame that you think your kid is here to right some wrong that you suffered as a child.

Our children live off of our insecurity and continue the sad notion of some antiquated thought on God. We are stuck in believing in a bible that was only written to secure the power of a church and its belief of chastising those that don't fit the norm.

The rapture, if it comes, is not to cleanse the unrighteous, but to cleanse the righteous from this earth, so the humble and beautiful within, can find security in a place without judgment and live an equal existence to everything in nature as it should be.

The bible is a blasphemy to God and all his creatures.

You know what bothers me the most about loving this world? It is the fact that every living creature other than man has found their Utopia on this earth. Every creature, other than man, only takes what they need to survive and live happy.

They do not invade.
They do not steal
They do not rape
They do not murder
They do not torture
They do not enslave
They do not have anger
They do not have revenge
They do not have a bible

We as humans should hope for our distinction for the survival of species that has and always will be superior to us!!

The bible was not written by God but by man that wants control!!

Heaven is for those who know, their life is equal to all the species God gave life to!!!

The Blonde does not believe in man's religion and wonders why humans can not evolve past a piece of fiction!!

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say

you shouldn't say anything at all.

I think I am going to take that advice and chill on the blog until I can find my funny again.

Lately I have been suffering allergies and working double time in the blogosphere and it is beginning to make me a little cranky, as evident by my recent posts.

I am going to settle in new lanscape this weekend and take a rest.

The Blonde's mouth is on holiday!!

Cut the Thread

How the heck do I stop a thread? I made the mistake of commenting on one little thing about children and parents and now I have to suffer the consequences of the idiotic responses emailed to me.
My comment was made in reference to a Mother that chastised little girls for wearing t-shirts that say "Girls rule, Boys drool". Personally I find that cute and funny but I am not a menopausal woman with a four year old.

As far as my opinion meter getting the best of me...I would have to say it was the use of the words hussy and street walker to describe the latest tween fashion.

Are you sure your not the Grandma?

In response to thongs being sold at the GAP for kids, I can agree. But only because I think thongs are stupid in general. Thongs are a gold mine to retail. You make something that costs less than 10 cents and sell it for $20, promote it as the newest and greatest thing and women will grab hold of it.

I wish I thought of a way to sell lace scraps as underwear and make a fortune!!

The beginning of the blog actually started because the meno Mom and her husband couldn't get over the fact tweens were texting through dinner at the table adjacent to them. My question was; if your such a great family unit, why do you need to occupy dinner conversation judging other people?

Whenever my sisters and I had a complaint about someone's behavior at the dinner table my Mother would say, "Look at your own plate."

Brilliant advice Mum!!!

Sometimes I want to scream at the stupidity of people and ask that they not breed until they pass a parent aptitude test. Unfortunately, they don't have one.

Ooh

Ooh

Can I make the test?!!

Please?

Pretty please with dumb parents on top?!!

I went nuts when a thread of a 'tech savvy Mom' suggesting they text along with their kid as a way of keeping it real.

Seriously?!

Have parents gone AWALL?

Stop having kids in between your hot flashes.

I swear to Gah there is such a thing as too old...Larry King!!

If a parent thinks they are in tune with their tween because they are savvy enough to master a download that will program their iphone to send them a text, reminding them to smile at their kid every four hours...I can understand why the Mayans stopped the clock at 2012.

Blondes hope the rapture unravels the fabric!!

On Edge

I am in a weird mood tonight, I can not seem to relax and I am on edge. My cat Lela, either feels my angst or she is feeling something in the air as well. Like a cattle hound, she roped all the cats into my bedroom and stood next to a door that was inadvertently unlocked. Now she is checking the inside perimeter of the house.

I have to locate her before she shiats on something.

Blondes usually like being edgy!!!

The Blonde Feminist

I recently read a post about "What Women Want?", written by a man commenting on the works of a new and upcoming female sexologist. To the journalists credit, he found the study as inconsequential as I did.

I don't even know how you end up with a doctorate in Sexology? I looked on the web and it seems to me you can just claim it without a degree. After all, what university is going to teach sex as a main course, other than the Kinsey Institute and we know what a perv he was!

The article doesn't question what women want-that's just the title- it questions our motivation for sex. In other words, how can the sexologist sell her findings to a pharmaceutical company to enhance female lust.

The sexologist failed to comment whether the women were married, single, young, old, fat, thin, pretty, or ugly. She failed to say her findings were anything but a red line of data on her hard drive after plugging in comment cards from willing participants who watched videos while strapped to a contraption measuring body response.

I must admit, I skimmed most of the dribble, but I read enough to arouse my opinion. You can read it as well:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?em

The comments are even more enlightening.

The article suggests women are more emotional in their desire for sex. I certainly know how emotional I feel when I turn on my neck massager.

Using a vaginal plethysmograph to measure blood flow after watching sex of different orientations sends data to a computer which is later interpreted to a graph of bologna. Maybe its not arousal but the sensation of being embarrassed watching gay porn with wires clipped to your tutu. I can't bring myself to watch Brokeback Mountain let alone watch two guys getting it on donkey kong style. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of gay friends but I tell them, just like I tell my hetero friends, "You can't have sex on my coffee table when guests are around."

The whole premise of the study is to discover why women are sexually dysfunctional. We are not dysfunctional just because we can't keep up with the abnormalities of a 24/7 hard on induced by Viagra.

Stop making women feel inadequate with your Kinsey Freak reports. I can tell you as a single woman, I have just as much drive as a man. Now, if I were idiot enough to get married under the femi-natzi 'having it all' guide book, you can bet; dropping down naked in a sexual fantasy for my husband after I worked all day, shuffled the kids to and fro, cooked and cleaned until the Late Show came on..your damn right their would be a dis in my sexual function.

We don't need sexologists telling us we suck because we don't suck enough. We don't need Glaxo to come up with a pill. We don't need to watch baboons getting it on to see if we feel like getting it on. We need a new attitude about ourselves.

You know what Women want?

They want to look in the mirror every day and say, "Damn!! I look good!!"

Which is a pretty hard thing to come by when the media and the online dating sites makes you feel like a worthless old heifer after the age of 28 and wear anything over a size 2.


The Blonde will see you now!!

Michelle Obama is not a Fashion Icon

unless you are a fan of frumpy. Not to be a jerk but someone has to poop on the parade, so it will be me.

I do not know how the First Lady will do on a whole but I am hoping for the same feather ruffling as my girl Hillary. And while I am excited about her taking on the task at hand, fashion is not her forte, so let's not give credit, where credit it isn't due. The Huffington Post is way too biased in their selection of feel good commentary on this very subject.



Michelle, while a smart, hip, and go getting woman, is hardly what I would call a fashionista. At the Ball, she was awkward and didn't know how to properly scoop up the back of the dress to dance. The dress seemed a tiresome act of fashion faux pas; a ruffled, worn out sheath that did not fit the style of a post feminist African American woman. I think she was more suited to wear a structured sheath constructed with sass and vibrant colors to match the truth of her allure. She is a strong woman that can not wear feminine lingerie in public. That damn dress should have stayed on the dreary white 90 lbs. mannequin in the window.

I would like to think the dress was a politically smart move chosen on Michelle's part but after researching the designer and his history, I have to say no. Jason Wu was born into a well to do import/export family that afforded him the luxury of studying abroad, by way of Canada in order to study in the U.S., and then landed as an understudy to Narciso Rodriguez before starting his own line with his parent's backing. Certainly not a tale of 'rags to riches' one likes to hear.

I hope this isn't a glimpse into how the roots of a solid begginning can be easily smothered by the corruption of power and money.

As far as the yellow 'Kennedy' copycat number during the parade...I just have to say..not every democrat elect needs to be equated with the Kennedy era. The Clintons didn't have it and the Obamas don't either; but why would they? Neither of them grew up with silver spoons in their mouth like John and Jackie.

I think white mainstream media is so afraid of coming off racist, that they make themselves look like idiots. They pat themselves on the back for comparing the Obama's to the Kennedy's'.Oh Please!!!

To me, you should have compared them to a better family, like the Kings!!

Jackie fixed up the white house and made the pillbox hat a hot ticket. Coretta Scott King was too busy carrying on the message of freedom to care if she made the cover of Vogue. Michelle would be better off studying the styles of women that fit her stature; not that of the fashion militia and mainstream media.

Real women have a style that transcends, why have mainstream dress them like Barbies, when they can dress themselves, so much more eloquently!!


And for the record, Aretha can wear any damn hat she wants!

Cutting Back

Every day I get out of the shower, blow dry my hair and take scissors to my bangs. If I keep it up, I am going to have that caterpillar look I had in 5th grade.

I can't get the few hundred hairs, lying in the middle of my forehead, to conform to what I want. I don't know why hair needs to have a life of its own, afterall, they are dead cells. Its an oxymoron for my hair to act this way.

Its even more moronic that I can't leave the hairs alone. Why do I think I can threaten their existence with a scissor when they are already dead. What do they care if they are on my head or flushed away in the toilet to swim the great ocean?

I have to hide my scissors.

You think it would be hard to hide something from yourself, but my Mother does it all the time with a near perfect track record. It is one of the many super powers of a Blonde.

Blondes need to let things grow!!

Netflix

After more than enough entertaining the past week, I am happily tucked into my closet sized hacienda with a new batch of chick flicks to occupy my time. I will probably stay up until the wee hour of the morn with a big box of tissue and a bottle of vino, watching love unfold, like only Hollywood can deliver.


Blondes like a good love story!!

An Inaugural Hickie

I spent the inauguration with my New York guy. For the rest of my life, I will equate the inauguration of our first caucasion-less president, as the day I found my neck bruised from a kiss by NY G.

I do not know where we will end up. We may have very well seen the last of each other; I do not know, but it is exciting, just to wonder at the possibility.

Beginnings are always a fabulous enigma, because we hold open the door to everything that is good. We, as humans, think that every new opportunity offers the very key to our happiness. We never enter into the 'new' without the hope of a great outcome, except when we grow older and understandably hold history under our wing; carrying it as a weight that reminds us we can no longer fly with the reckless abandonment of youth and innocence. At the later stages of our perception, we find life too cruel a world, filled with empty promises, that are eager to burn us. But, as evident in our elections; as hardened as we may seem, we always hold out the feather's chance to be reborn from the ashes and rise like a gryphon, anxious to fly again.

In retrospect, Barack doesn't have many more challenges to face than I do. He is coming in as the new girlfriend on the back heels of a self serving, profiteering, gold digging and destructive biatch (current admin), that would make Kevin Federline look like Mother Teresa. Barack will have to prove himself--enduring all the scrutiny and skepticism of a new suitor going after someone who has pulled out of one too many bad engagements.

My taste for successful and slightly older gents leaves me open to the same obstacles to climb. I am already scuffing the tops of my pointed toe, designer pumps, on the recounts of EXs gone bad, way before the main course hits our table. For me, the limitations of the relationship with these gents are not lines drawn in the sand...


OH, NO!!!

They are lines drawn on my napkin with a medium point Sharpie!!


But, I will overcome!!

If the American Peeps can overcome, so can I!!

And you know why?!

Because, as hardened and disillusioned as the last administration made the citizens of this great nation feel; it only took one great first date (campaign) with a charismatic lawyer to make the status quo discover they were in love with their country again. And I may fall short of being a love interest for any of the men I am currently seeing, but just knowing they invested enough time and effort to pursue a first date with me, leaves me with the great satisfaction of knowing they are open to the 'NEW', and the greatness of being with a Blonde.

I may not be the answer to living happily ever after but I am definitely the cliff notes on how it should be.

The Blonde hopes everyone will overcome!!!