I hurt an ex-boyfriends feelings. Apparently, its not funny to read the truth about yourself no matter how humorous the tone. I thought my blog entitled 'Dating Game'
was hysterical. Oh well, C'est la Vie.
Its not like we were getting back together anyway.
I find that once I break up with someone I can find absolutely no reason why I would ever attempt a second try. I can't seem to get past the polite phone conversation in an attempt to reconcile at least a friendship. They will try to be someone else; say they have changed or tell you everything you want to hear; even to the point of becoming the person they think you want them to be, but that is always short lived. In the end, they are who they are and I am who I am.
No one changes their spots overnight...not even me! Of course, I don't really have spots.
I think if it didn't work out in the first place, it won't work out in the second place. Besides, what woman would settle for second place. The same applies to me as well. If you break up with me obviously I wasn't the one and don't come crawling back because I won't be interested once I have a good cry about it.
I do find that at least I get some satisfaction in knowing the guy now realizes what he had and he should have been a little more careful with a gem like me. Call me selfish but I wouldn't let myself go back to a man after he has broken off the relationship with me; I have too much pride.
I won't change my blog because someone didn't like what they read about themselves.
I will, however, change it for the cutie pie with a special knack for editing.
Blondes don't look back unless they are pulling out!!
4.07.2008
4.06.2008
My Brain is falling, My brain is falling
The more I write about being blonde the more I think I am becoming...well...blonde!!
I recently took my quarterly IQ test and have found I dropped another four points. I am now 12 points away from MENSA.
They say if you don't use it, you lose it.
I thought they were talking about organs pertaining to sex. I am fairly certain now, they were referring to one's mind. Of course they do say the most erogenous part of a women's body is the hypothalamus but we aren't talking about the part of the brain that needs only fresh batteries in a vibrator to stimulate a response.
I am speaking about the part of my brain that can't finish reading a chapter of Moby Dick without daydreaming every other paragraph. Of course it could just be I don't care about fishing for a giant white whale but I should still be able to focus on at least one page of dialogue.
I used to spend hours at my computer as a white hat. Now, I couldn't hack my way out of a paper bag. Instead of writing code, I write blonde anecdotes. I used to write dissertations on ontology. My papers argued that you could not receive a failing grade for a thesis on theory because a theory hasn't been established as a universal fact or truth thus no one is right nor wrong. Today I would fail to argue the point of a brain fart.
I should receive a consolation prize or parting gift for losing my mind...like bigger breasts. From what I understand it is perfectly acceptable to be a dumb blonde if you have a big chest to distract the men from your brushing of a stiletto to help count to ten.
The failure of challenges at work, surrounded by white walls, and very little water cooler talk has left me uninspired to write, learn or create. I feel the very core of my intelligence sucked into the internet vortex propelling me toward spontaneous Ebay purchases and drifting through Craigslist for no reason other than trying to fill 6 hours of dead time at work.
So what does this have to do with the price of corn in China. Nothing, they don't grow corn in China, DUH!! It does, however, have something to do with my blog. Instead of trying to be funny all the time (trying being key word), I am going to try (again key word) and exercise my mind so in the future you just might see opinions, thesis', algorithms, code, whatever I deem necessary to save my brain from total blondness.
I might even start with proper grammar and proofreading.
The blonde gets down to the dark root of the problem!!
I recently took my quarterly IQ test and have found I dropped another four points. I am now 12 points away from MENSA.
They say if you don't use it, you lose it.
I thought they were talking about organs pertaining to sex. I am fairly certain now, they were referring to one's mind. Of course they do say the most erogenous part of a women's body is the hypothalamus but we aren't talking about the part of the brain that needs only fresh batteries in a vibrator to stimulate a response.
I am speaking about the part of my brain that can't finish reading a chapter of Moby Dick without daydreaming every other paragraph. Of course it could just be I don't care about fishing for a giant white whale but I should still be able to focus on at least one page of dialogue.
I used to spend hours at my computer as a white hat. Now, I couldn't hack my way out of a paper bag. Instead of writing code, I write blonde anecdotes. I used to write dissertations on ontology. My papers argued that you could not receive a failing grade for a thesis on theory because a theory hasn't been established as a universal fact or truth thus no one is right nor wrong. Today I would fail to argue the point of a brain fart.
I should receive a consolation prize or parting gift for losing my mind...like bigger breasts. From what I understand it is perfectly acceptable to be a dumb blonde if you have a big chest to distract the men from your brushing of a stiletto to help count to ten.
The failure of challenges at work, surrounded by white walls, and very little water cooler talk has left me uninspired to write, learn or create. I feel the very core of my intelligence sucked into the internet vortex propelling me toward spontaneous Ebay purchases and drifting through Craigslist for no reason other than trying to fill 6 hours of dead time at work.
So what does this have to do with the price of corn in China. Nothing, they don't grow corn in China, DUH!! It does, however, have something to do with my blog. Instead of trying to be funny all the time (trying being key word), I am going to try (again key word) and exercise my mind so in the future you just might see opinions, thesis', algorithms, code, whatever I deem necessary to save my brain from total blondness.
I might even start with proper grammar and proofreading.
The blonde gets down to the dark root of the problem!!
4.05.2008
Colorado Quandary
How the heck do you buy a car off the internet from another state and exchange cash for title? The car is in Colorado.
Hhhmmmm....
Do I have to fly to Denver?
Please , please, for Gah sakes No!!!!
I am not a fan of the people who work at the airport in Denver. I still have nightmares from the Aspen trip. Come to think of it, I didn't care for the people in Aspen either. Not to go into detail but I have never run into such unfriendly people in my life and the women who work for Frontier airlines are just down right mean spirited, unhappy phleebs.
After a formal complaint, I was sent free vouchers in an attempt on their part to intervene and stop a lawsuit that I might file for mental anguish, pain, and suffering inflicted on me by their counter trolls.
I would rather poke fondue sticks through my eyeballs and run naked through the desert waiting for vultures to eat me before I use frontier again.
Than again...they are free tickets
Blondes pay a high price for free-dumb!!
Hhhmmmm....
Do I have to fly to Denver?
Please , please, for Gah sakes No!!!!
I am not a fan of the people who work at the airport in Denver. I still have nightmares from the Aspen trip. Come to think of it, I didn't care for the people in Aspen either. Not to go into detail but I have never run into such unfriendly people in my life and the women who work for Frontier airlines are just down right mean spirited, unhappy phleebs.
After a formal complaint, I was sent free vouchers in an attempt on their part to intervene and stop a lawsuit that I might file for mental anguish, pain, and suffering inflicted on me by their counter trolls.
I would rather poke fondue sticks through my eyeballs and run naked through the desert waiting for vultures to eat me before I use frontier again.
Than again...they are free tickets
Blondes pay a high price for free-dumb!!
Blonde Moment 243
I hate when I lose my keys.
Where are my keys?!!
Damn, I have looked everywhere
Will someone help me find my keys?!! I have to go!!!
...uhhmmmm...Via....what is that in your jeans pocket?!!
Damn!!!
Where are my keys?!!
Damn, I have looked everywhere
Will someone help me find my keys?!! I have to go!!!
...uhhmmmm...Via....what is that in your jeans pocket?!!
Damn!!!
4.03.2008
The Dating Game
Bachlorette, What would you like to ask your bachelors.
I would like to ask them to describe what they believe is a perfect relationship.
Bachelor #1.
A Latin ex-boyfriend wants me to be his mistress. It should be obvious why he is an ex.
"In my culture the mistress is treated far better than the wife. Now come, we have Tapas so you can have big bottom for me and i can stuff them into very short mini-skirts i buy for you."
Bachelor #2.
An old cowboy who likes to be the bull to the filly. Doesn't think he has to do much but circle the pen and breath heavy.
"We would take the limo out for the evening so I can drink properly. I will continuously ask you to sit on top of me with your skirt hiked up to your elbows because that is my version of romance. I will call you baby and Princess all night long. I will talk dirty to you the rest of the evening. I will keep calling you baby and ask you to touch me in public"
Bachelor #3.
A confirmed bachelor who lives at the very end of Suburbia just before the earth drops off.
We would go to a middle class American restaurant and than watch middle class American television and then have middle class American sex in my middle class American house. I can pick you up in my middle class American car and I will have you back to your car by morning before my middle class American sports shows"
OK, Bachelorette, will it be Bachelor #1, bachelor #2, or Bachelor #3?
Well Mr Woolery
Oh, Please call me Chuck
Well Buck,
Chuck
Whatever, I think I am going to bail from this reality show and go hang out with the midget from Fantasy Island.
Dwarf
Excuse me
Tatoo was a dwarf
Why would I want a tattoo of a dwarf?
Blondes need to play a better hand!!
I would like to ask them to describe what they believe is a perfect relationship.
Bachelor #1.
A Latin ex-boyfriend wants me to be his mistress. It should be obvious why he is an ex.
"In my culture the mistress is treated far better than the wife. Now come, we have Tapas so you can have big bottom for me and i can stuff them into very short mini-skirts i buy for you."
Bachelor #2.
An old cowboy who likes to be the bull to the filly. Doesn't think he has to do much but circle the pen and breath heavy.
"We would take the limo out for the evening so I can drink properly. I will continuously ask you to sit on top of me with your skirt hiked up to your elbows because that is my version of romance. I will call you baby and Princess all night long. I will talk dirty to you the rest of the evening. I will keep calling you baby and ask you to touch me in public"
Bachelor #3.
A confirmed bachelor who lives at the very end of Suburbia just before the earth drops off.
We would go to a middle class American restaurant and than watch middle class American television and then have middle class American sex in my middle class American house. I can pick you up in my middle class American car and I will have you back to your car by morning before my middle class American sports shows"
OK, Bachelorette, will it be Bachelor #1, bachelor #2, or Bachelor #3?
Well Mr Woolery
Oh, Please call me Chuck
Well Buck,
Chuck
Whatever, I think I am going to bail from this reality show and go hang out with the midget from Fantasy Island.
Dwarf
Excuse me
Tatoo was a dwarf
Why would I want a tattoo of a dwarf?
Blondes need to play a better hand!!
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