Promises, Promises, Promises

If your going to tell me you saw a mink coat at the store and you had a fantasy about me wearing it...you better buy it!!

What is it with men dangling pretty little things, and not your penis, in front of me and than never giving it to me.

Its called being a tease and blondes don't like a tease anymore than a man does.


Its like window shopping..its not shopping if you aren't buying. I don't go into a store that I cannot afford and look at all the pretty things I can't have. Why would I do that? It would just make me feel bad that I can't have them. I don't go around putting dollar bills in the pocket of fur coats or inside handbags while wearing it around the store and than get mad because the coat and handbag can't come home with me!!

I just assume play imaginary millionaire with my Vogue. Sort of like what men do with their playboy magazine.

If its the thought that counts, don't tell the blonde!!!

I was thinking...

I know, I know...a blonde thinking? What's next, putting someone on the moon.

Where was I?

What was I thinking?

Damn, I forgot..

the blonde will get back to you!!!

Stupid Football

The Giants vs. the Patriots

YUcK!!!

The Blonde doesn't care who wins!!

I'm not Romantic

I tried once to make a romantic picnic.....once!!

It took me all day to find the perfect blanket.

Then it took more days to find matching picnic accessories

then I had to go to the grocery store

than I hunted for tiki torches

than my outfit...

drive to small park by the lake

romantic means I get sex

Ask people if I can have park to myself

wait for people to leave park

park is clear

start setting the mood

its hot

the grass is spiky

Mosquitoes

Is that spider

picnic table is icky

go to store

buy a tent

come back

its really hot

the grass is spiky

is that a huge spider?

freaking mosquitoes

get the food out

drink all the sangria

light the stupid tiki torches

cook the stupid food

get in the stupid tent

kiss the stupid boyfriend

hot
sticky
sweaty

eeewww ...on my pretty new picnic blanket

clean up stupid picnic stuff

go home

Romance to a blonde is room service at the Four Seasons...!!

I'm sorry I don't do Geriatric!!

I get this call from some woman that was from dating network said I was recommended to her by someone and would I be interested in dating this great guy, retired, wants to spoil,blah, blah, blah....but...

Yeah...I already knew there would be a but...I didn't know it would be a geriatric butt...

and here is the BIG, BIG but...
"He's a little older"

"Ok..50 maybe? 60?"

No my fans...he was 75 freakin years old..retired IBMer..can you gross me out any more than that..pictures of my Dad flashed before my eyes..

and Im rinsing my eyes!!
nope.
still seeing Dad...
rinse and repeat,
rinse and repeat!!


Who on God's green earth, my age, besides Anna Nicole Smith would date a 75 year old man...OH..yes the "Girls Next Door"

Are you seeing the pattern?!!
They are all bottled blondes!!!

She continues:
When he travels its only in condos..
yeah right..you mean time shares!!

he water skiis?!!
yeah right, you mean rides a pontoon boat!!

he wants to spoil someone?
you mean he is spoiled

He wants to get married!!
how many great grandkids in the will?


Holy Cow, lady..I know your desperate but I'm NOT...who said I was?! Did someone say I was desperate?!

Well, why don't you think about it?
Um..yeah thought over....
Excuse me?
I mean I don't think its for me and could you please remove my Gold Digger status button on your list!!

I will call my friends to see if they have any Grandmothers that need a date!!

There is a difference between bottled and Blonde!!