9.09.2011
9.07.2011
An Almost Ditch
I almost ditched a date tonight. I had it in my mind that blind dating is going to serve up nothing more than a dead end soup with annoyance for crackers.
But...I was wrong!!
Recently I have found it smart to expect the worst and never be disappointed. But I expect the worse so much that I almost ditched this date.
And to my surprise he was sweet, funny, cute in a Tom Arnold sort of way...and I actually had a great time.
And to think I almost missed out on this one because of all the ones before that turned out to be wet sprockets.
I think this might actually be fun for a change.
I think this is a positive step in walking away from the last of the unavailable men.
Who?
Augusto!
I can't kick the Augusto habit unless I have someone new to focus my attention on.
This one might just be the one to finally pull me toward a real relationship.
Its time.
I have been kicking it back with the wrong men for so long. I am tired, bored, and ready for something real..
Who knows?
Not me, but won't it be fun to see what unfolds?
For the first time, I am really excited about someone.
In the mean time, I will still expect the worst...
(he does have really small feet)
but from now on...
The Blonde will hold out for the best!!
But...I was wrong!!
Recently I have found it smart to expect the worst and never be disappointed. But I expect the worse so much that I almost ditched this date.
And to my surprise he was sweet, funny, cute in a Tom Arnold sort of way...and I actually had a great time.
And to think I almost missed out on this one because of all the ones before that turned out to be wet sprockets.
I think this might actually be fun for a change.
I think this is a positive step in walking away from the last of the unavailable men.
Who?
Augusto!
I can't kick the Augusto habit unless I have someone new to focus my attention on.
This one might just be the one to finally pull me toward a real relationship.
Its time.
I have been kicking it back with the wrong men for so long. I am tired, bored, and ready for something real..
Who knows?
Not me, but won't it be fun to see what unfolds?
For the first time, I am really excited about someone.
In the mean time, I will still expect the worst...
(he does have really small feet)
but from now on...
The Blonde will hold out for the best!!
9.06.2011
CindaBlondarella
...wakes up every morning to her geriatric cat and his crap on the outside of his litter box.
I clean and scrub the floor, brush the litter from his fur, and feed him knowing his time to lay down for good is less than a while away.
I then go outside and feed the ghetto cats that came from the street and a builder mart parking lot. They are much more hardier than the glamorous puss known as Goose and will last years longer.
I than make my coffee in the morning and get to the phone and begin work.
In between phone calls and emails I study philosophy, ethics, and literature.
Its a good semester. I like my classes.
I am in the midst of writing a new essay for UT Austin.
Although I got in to all the schools I applied to, I could not-in the end-afford any of them.
And they were a little farther away than I want to be from my son, who is being deployed to Afghanistan in November.
All the while, I was holding out hope of meeting someone to be a shoulder I could lean on but the bullshit has me so depressed, I am beyond tears.
Liars and cynics is all I seem to run into these days and with what is on my plate, I have little patience for any of them.
Its OK, I am stubborn and it will take some time for me to kill this hope of love and commitment. I can't turn it off in a day and I know that.
The hope of love is hard to kill and the fear of my son going off to war is beyond any sadness i could have imagined.
I beg and pray to God that he will come home. He has to come back home. There is no other option.
God has to bring him home safe to me.
I am no Cinderella story and I don't feel I am even a Paul Harvey story, waiting to happen, any more. But I don;t deserve this much heartache.
I never did anything to deserve this life.
This is called depression, and it hits me every once in awhile but it will go away and even when I am sad I know I need to take care of those less fortunate than me; so I take my Jimmy Choo shoe money and feed the Bambis, the possums, the raccoons, and the stray animals that do not need to suffer as long as I am around.
And I get the great pleasure of giving my son anything of the small things I can do for him. I just wish I could have done more and then he might not have had to go off to war.
Its all I have to hold on to...
That is enough to get the Blonde up every day!!
I clean and scrub the floor, brush the litter from his fur, and feed him knowing his time to lay down for good is less than a while away.
I then go outside and feed the ghetto cats that came from the street and a builder mart parking lot. They are much more hardier than the glamorous puss known as Goose and will last years longer.
I than make my coffee in the morning and get to the phone and begin work.
In between phone calls and emails I study philosophy, ethics, and literature.
Its a good semester. I like my classes.
I am in the midst of writing a new essay for UT Austin.
Although I got in to all the schools I applied to, I could not-in the end-afford any of them.
And they were a little farther away than I want to be from my son, who is being deployed to Afghanistan in November.
All the while, I was holding out hope of meeting someone to be a shoulder I could lean on but the bullshit has me so depressed, I am beyond tears.
Liars and cynics is all I seem to run into these days and with what is on my plate, I have little patience for any of them.
Its OK, I am stubborn and it will take some time for me to kill this hope of love and commitment. I can't turn it off in a day and I know that.
The hope of love is hard to kill and the fear of my son going off to war is beyond any sadness i could have imagined.
I beg and pray to God that he will come home. He has to come back home. There is no other option.
God has to bring him home safe to me.
I am no Cinderella story and I don't feel I am even a Paul Harvey story, waiting to happen, any more. But I don;t deserve this much heartache.
I never did anything to deserve this life.
This is called depression, and it hits me every once in awhile but it will go away and even when I am sad I know I need to take care of those less fortunate than me; so I take my Jimmy Choo shoe money and feed the Bambis, the possums, the raccoons, and the stray animals that do not need to suffer as long as I am around.
And I get the great pleasure of giving my son anything of the small things I can do for him. I just wish I could have done more and then he might not have had to go off to war.
Its all I have to hold on to...
That is enough to get the Blonde up every day!!
I Am Doomed
Baha Bahaaaa
The Lone Star Suck
Some things do not change...even if you are undead. It is true today as it was fucking in 2011 when I first wrote this.
And before I undied.
I am doomed to be alone unless I find another way to find a date.
Where am I supposed to drum up viable dating options?
The online dating site is nothing but a plethora of liars, losers, and deadbeats who have nothing better to do during their bored time at work.
I have no choice but to join gym.
I have to find the right gym.
Last one I joined was in Houston and it was in the gay zone of town.
Lesbians had some fun in the steam room while I got completely grossed out.
Texas men suck..no doubt about it...this southern girl can not do the south western bullshit.
I am going to die...
Please, please someone from a real world come save me.
The Blonde needs you!!
I love finding my diary from when I was alive. Makes me feel fucking awesome for being undead!
Men suck but now I can kill them.
The blonde chants Hoorah dead dicks!!!
F#^*&ing Blonde Moments
I totally missed my flight. I thought I was leaving Friday and the flight was Thursday. I did not find out until my friend called from the SLC airport to ask where the hell was I.
"I am packing my bags and getting ready." I replied
"Uh, Your flight was for today Blondie."
"Hole Shiat!! No way!!!"
Crap,
Hold on,
Shit,
Let me call you back
I will try and get another flight...
hang up
"hello Airline, what do I do to catch a later flight?"
"oh no problem, just pay $450 in difference charge."
"Uh yeah..not happening...what else can I do?"
Rebook for later flight times..
Way later...
I CALL EXPEDIA
GET 3RD WORLD COUNTRY SPEAKING GUY
KEEPS BOOKING THE EXPENSIVE TIME FRAME
Dude, I am trying to book cheap flights.
OK..hideously annoyed now.
Hang up
Go on Frontier to find cheap flights
Call back Expedia
Get english first language dude
AWESOME!!
RE-Book the flight for $50 extra
Done
PANIC DIVERTED
next week I am going to SLC..
DO NOT LET ME FORGET!!
As much as I hated Frontier for the Aspen trip...
I am actually grateful they made it up this time!!
Your alright, Frontier.
Just don't bump my ass for an over booked flight!!
The Blonde believes in second chances!!!
"I am packing my bags and getting ready." I replied
"Uh, Your flight was for today Blondie."
"Hole Shiat!! No way!!!"
Crap,
Hold on,
Shit,
Let me call you back
I will try and get another flight...
hang up
"hello Airline, what do I do to catch a later flight?"
"oh no problem, just pay $450 in difference charge."
"Uh yeah..not happening...what else can I do?"
Rebook for later flight times..
Way later...
I CALL EXPEDIA
GET 3RD WORLD COUNTRY SPEAKING GUY
KEEPS BOOKING THE EXPENSIVE TIME FRAME
Dude, I am trying to book cheap flights.
OK..hideously annoyed now.
Hang up
Go on Frontier to find cheap flights
Call back Expedia
Get english first language dude
AWESOME!!
RE-Book the flight for $50 extra
Done
PANIC DIVERTED
next week I am going to SLC..
DO NOT LET ME FORGET!!
As much as I hated Frontier for the Aspen trip...
I am actually grateful they made it up this time!!
Your alright, Frontier.
Just don't bump my ass for an over booked flight!!
The Blonde believes in second chances!!!
9.04.2011
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