(read yesterday's posting)
That was not the guy who answered my ad for platonic ticket to ACL festival.
Whew!
But the guy who did answer the ad is not my type.
First of all, never, never, never send me a picture without your shirt on unless I have carnal knowledge of you already!
Second, what idiot wears sunglasses indoors while taking a snapshot of himself with the webcam?
and Third but not least; he used the word dating when I said strictly platonic.
The fact he emailed me 6 times already, I am fairly certain he has classic stalker tendencies and I just got rid of the last one.
This weekend I am going back some oldies but some goodies; one old date I ran into and one of the cuter ex's. He is my safe and but sorry I broke up with you backup when I am in need of comfort friend.
The Blonde turned to the right guys!
10.02.2009
9.26.2009
9.20.2009
Internet Dating is Funny
I have to pick on this profile..I just find it too funny not to share!!
The Dude is 51 and not Brad Pitt or John Corbett or even George Clooney hot!!
Are you that special?...a complete woman?
Description:
I am so fed up of women who have limitations...who sleep too much, who don't do this or that...who have no concept of what an amazing relationship can be like and who offer so little when wanting so much...I am not sure which is worse, the ones who are just mediocre and don't realize it...or the one's who are knowingly shallow and materialistic...please do not bother me unless you satisfy everything I am looking for below - and expect your man also to be everything you desire....Also, please do not bother if you smoke or have oral issues/limitations....
Relationship I am Seeking
I'm Seeking:
Women
For:
Marriage, Long-Term Relationship
Description:
Are you a complete woman? No REALLY? I know they exist as I have had one whom I tragically lost. They love unconditionally, make love with passion, imagination and WITHOUT limit (ie they love everything normal), prefer to be awake than asleep, kiss amazingly, live enthusiastically and plan positively. They are totally unselfish, unaffected, unpretentious and live to please. They also expect the same from their man. Please do not go any further if you do not fully associate with the foregoing or think I am looking for a lot. So, if you are interested, I'm very young-looking, sporty - all sorts, fit, speak seven languages, accomplished musician, have a doctorate, don't smoke or drink, (never have), wicked sense of humour, strong, passionate and affectionate (extremely). I'm great fun, attentive, unpretentious, easy going and I'm looking for a serious relationship, nothing else. I'm used to being with an intelligent, naturally beautiful (I'm aesthetically driven - looks do matter), internationally educated, (much) younger, elegant, sporty, sensual and affectionate girl, who has immense poise and character and a stunning physique (natural or enhanced). A woman who stands out in her own right, or could/should. Someone who thrives on being in a strong and exceptional relationship in which each partner's emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, family, social and other needs are not only met but exceeded. Preferably someone who wants a family at some point, probably 23-37 but I am flexible. Interested? Compatible? Sure? Really? Are you an amazing lover, friend, wife and mother in the making and just needing the right guy? Then please let me know. But remember. I am no one's sugardaddie, I am someone's future equal, partner or husband.
The Blonde loves irony!
The Dude is 51 and not Brad Pitt or John Corbett or even George Clooney hot!!
Are you that special?...a complete woman?
Description:
I am so fed up of women who have limitations...who sleep too much, who don't do this or that...who have no concept of what an amazing relationship can be like and who offer so little when wanting so much...I am not sure which is worse, the ones who are just mediocre and don't realize it...or the one's who are knowingly shallow and materialistic...please do not bother me unless you satisfy everything I am looking for below - and expect your man also to be everything you desire....Also, please do not bother if you smoke or have oral issues/limitations....
Relationship I am Seeking
I'm Seeking:
Women
For:
Marriage, Long-Term Relationship
Description:
Are you a complete woman? No REALLY? I know they exist as I have had one whom I tragically lost. They love unconditionally, make love with passion, imagination and WITHOUT limit (ie they love everything normal), prefer to be awake than asleep, kiss amazingly, live enthusiastically and plan positively. They are totally unselfish, unaffected, unpretentious and live to please. They also expect the same from their man. Please do not go any further if you do not fully associate with the foregoing or think I am looking for a lot. So, if you are interested, I'm very young-looking, sporty - all sorts, fit, speak seven languages, accomplished musician, have a doctorate, don't smoke or drink, (never have), wicked sense of humour, strong, passionate and affectionate (extremely). I'm great fun, attentive, unpretentious, easy going and I'm looking for a serious relationship, nothing else. I'm used to being with an intelligent, naturally beautiful (I'm aesthetically driven - looks do matter), internationally educated, (much) younger, elegant, sporty, sensual and affectionate girl, who has immense poise and character and a stunning physique (natural or enhanced). A woman who stands out in her own right, or could/should. Someone who thrives on being in a strong and exceptional relationship in which each partner's emotional, physical, sexual, intellectual, family, social and other needs are not only met but exceeded. Preferably someone who wants a family at some point, probably 23-37 but I am flexible. Interested? Compatible? Sure? Really? Are you an amazing lover, friend, wife and mother in the making and just needing the right guy? Then please let me know. But remember. I am no one's sugardaddie, I am someone's future equal, partner or husband.
The Blonde loves irony!
Male Order Catalog
The great thing about internet dating is the turn around time to receive a new guy in an email!!
You just flip through the profiles like you would the pages of a catalog, place your item in the basket by way of a favorite button and voila; you have men in your size and color.
The one I ordered this time is a much better fit than my last order. This one comes with a yacht in Newport Beach, a condo in mid-west Manhattan, dark hair, made in Spain, with french accents. This order comes without fake promises, the too soon 'I love you' but don't mean it routine, and no sob story about some girl who committed suicide because of him.
I have no doubt after wearing the last guy for a bit, he was a very bad fit. Now that he is returned, and I have a new credit on my attitude, I am ordering a replacement.
A quick note on refilling your order for a new guy.
Be careful!!
After your order arrives and its not exactly as promised on the profile, you may feel cheated and discouraged about ordering a new man.
But just remember all of the products we buy that don't deliver what they promise either, like cellulite cream, face lift lotions, and diet pills.
In the end, we learn what does work, what is true, and eventually grow a better consumer and lover because we end up finding satisfaction in the simplest of products.
When ordering a man just remember that less promises is more man.
I personally haven't learned that lesson yet and am in search of the exception to the rule, so just do as I say and not what I do for now.
The Blonde is headed to NY for a fitting!!
You just flip through the profiles like you would the pages of a catalog, place your item in the basket by way of a favorite button and voila; you have men in your size and color.
The one I ordered this time is a much better fit than my last order. This one comes with a yacht in Newport Beach, a condo in mid-west Manhattan, dark hair, made in Spain, with french accents. This order comes without fake promises, the too soon 'I love you' but don't mean it routine, and no sob story about some girl who committed suicide because of him.
I have no doubt after wearing the last guy for a bit, he was a very bad fit. Now that he is returned, and I have a new credit on my attitude, I am ordering a replacement.
A quick note on refilling your order for a new guy.
Be careful!!
After your order arrives and its not exactly as promised on the profile, you may feel cheated and discouraged about ordering a new man.
But just remember all of the products we buy that don't deliver what they promise either, like cellulite cream, face lift lotions, and diet pills.
In the end, we learn what does work, what is true, and eventually grow a better consumer and lover because we end up finding satisfaction in the simplest of products.
When ordering a man just remember that less promises is more man.
I personally haven't learned that lesson yet and am in search of the exception to the rule, so just do as I say and not what I do for now.
The Blonde is headed to NY for a fitting!!
9.12.2009
The World Don't Stop
I am sitting on the veranda with candle light and listening to the rain with Mary Chapin Carpenter playing on my stereo in the background.
I have pulled Black Betty out for the night. For those of you who don't know Black Betty, allow me to introduce you; she is my guitar and I play her when no one is listening, mainly because I don;t know how to play it correctly.
Tonight, I am only fuzzy with sips of wine and I am at peace. I am enjoying my alone time and many epiphanies have rolled across my mind like the foam of the ocean waves that used to kiss my feet on the beach just before they roll back into the abyss.
It has been a long time since I have seen the ocean and felt its power rush over me but I remember it. With the stroke of my hand in the glass jar that holds the sand that last touched me, waves of memories and epiphanies cross my mind.
But, I still have many questions!
The Blonde mind never ends!
I have pulled Black Betty out for the night. For those of you who don't know Black Betty, allow me to introduce you; she is my guitar and I play her when no one is listening, mainly because I don;t know how to play it correctly.
Tonight, I am only fuzzy with sips of wine and I am at peace. I am enjoying my alone time and many epiphanies have rolled across my mind like the foam of the ocean waves that used to kiss my feet on the beach just before they roll back into the abyss.
It has been a long time since I have seen the ocean and felt its power rush over me but I remember it. With the stroke of my hand in the glass jar that holds the sand that last touched me, waves of memories and epiphanies cross my mind.
But, I still have many questions!
The Blonde mind never ends!
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