New York, So Far

Far to walk when you get confused and have to circle several blocks to figure out where the heck your are going.

What should take 10 blocks of walking actually takes me 20 because I have to walk two blocks down or up and than two blocks left to right to see the numbers and street signs to set my course accordingly.
I have learned I can not find what I am looking for if it is on the same side of the street that I walk on so I have to cross the street, back track, and look again. This became evident when I walked passed the bank 3 times before finding it by accident.

On a positive note I am already familiar with the lay of the land at Bloomies.
I bought a killer Ed Hardy belt, Marc Jacob sunglasses, and a few Guess and Diesel t's.

It is hot walking around NY and for the most part everyone is casually dressed. I dare not wear heels until I have the cab waving perfected, and I am fairly certain I am not interested in ever using the subway. I am still a little apprehensive about public transportation.

Thank Gah, my new friend is a Doctor and has a special parking permit that allows him to park me in front of anywhere I want to go.

Yesterday I ate lunch at a Solera's at 53rd and 3rd. You think I would be a bit more clever with my eateries but it felt like home and the huge table of gorgeous Latin men in suits sitting adjacent to me made it even more appetizing.
The food was incredible. I had the flank steak and glass of vino.

Mmmm

Mmm

MMmmm

I'm sorry I was just picturing the men...the dish was fab too!!

Anyhoo,

I have secured tickets to the US Open this weekend and a young tennis stud to accompany me. I am still trying to get backstage passes to some designer shows. Apparently, just because you have a media pass, doesn't mean you get into the shows you want. Again, Doc to the rescue. his friend owns one of the top four modeling agencies in town!

Now, its off to the salon to have my nails done and home to clean up for dinner. I am thinking about wearing my sexy little L.A.M.B. floor length snake print number tonight with designer flip flops.

P.S. I have been warned not go above 96th Street because they haven't blonde-proofed it yet!!

Blondes stand out even when they blend!!

Can the plane

...put a rooftop rack on its hull. I will need it for my suitcases.

I am outie by 5AM...so next time you read me, I will be reporting from the Big Apple.

Whomever came up with 3.5 oz when most things are 4 oz surely has shown an entire nation their stupidity.


Blondes need a charter!!

Leave Sleeping Worms in the Can

I totally blew this guy off in Houston several weeks back. I knew he was going to Israel and would not be back for a week. I sheepishly left a message on his work phone apologizing that I could not make it last minute I that I changed my mind.

Quite frankly,

I don't know you well enough not to change my mind and feel guilty about bailing.

Anyhoo,

I guess he is back in town and wants to know why?! I am sorry but I deleted you from my phone. I left a sufficient message, now go away!!

I could not get through my pre New York work because I had a text every freaking 20 minutes from this assurance deficient dude. He seems not to take rejection well and ignores it as a way to cope. I made the mortal mistake of being nice and the freak took off with it as another opportunity to meet me.

Good you drive here, set yourself up at the Four Seasons and I will meet your freak for a drink.

Otherwise...

PHLEEB, you have been deleted!!

What do you not understand without me telling you?!

Honestly, I did go to Houston but I overbooked my dates and I had to knock the least favorable off my list. He had a couple of severe non-no's but he was persistent and wore me down and although a bit scary in his stiff European accent and demeanor, I decided, 'what the heck, I have a few hours to kill between my other dates."


On Match, he had my numero uno reason to pass on a profile; he took photos with out a shirt on without a body of water nearby, even worse he was extremely ripped and could snap a body a life size Barbie in half with little effort; in his poolside photos he sports a ball hammock instead of swim trunks--he is European so I threw him a waiver on that one but still, at the Houstonian?! If he had a photo next to his car--I would have never emailed him back.

The last and most critical error was the growth of his cro-magnum bone on his forehead showing the signs of a long relationship with steroids. And I don't need anyone going OJ on my arse and beat me to death because I failed to have fresh breath, which apparently is all he requires along with my photos to prove I would be a decent match.

And believe it or not, I forgot my toothpaste that weekend and I am certain my breath was not that fresh at all. I did have gum but someone's dog actually ate it. Come to think of it, that guy hasn't called.

Hhmmm!

Oh, well!!

Next!!!

So today, I must shut down the phone again. I am packing for my trip to NY and I am cranky since I haven't had a carb in three days and I don't want to be rude to Roidboy in fear of my pretty little head being bashed in.


Blondes only appetite is for a Big Apple!!

Mercedes Benz Fashion Week

...begins September 5th through the 12th in NY and in pure Blonde fashion I will be there!!

A new city is like unleashing me in a general store. I am going to sample as much of the yummies in the proverbial glass candy jars as I can. I bought a one way ticket without plans to return to Austin other than to visit. Either Austin has outgrown me or I have outgrown Austin, not that it matters other than I can no longer be happy living here, nor happy with anyone I meet here. I do adore three men and they will remain in my phone, but the rest have already been deleted. I began detaching myself from this town long ago and I really have nothing to hold me here permanently.

When they say you can never go home again--they are right--but home has always been carried with me. I thought it was a physical place at one time in my life but in the end I have learned home really is where your heart is(sorry I couldn't spare you the cliche).

Not having that physical form of home has made me the kind of woman that takes life by the horns and tries to squeeze as much Bull juice as she can out of it. I just need the kind of rider that can hold on as long as I can. Maybe my cowboy is hanging his hat in the Big Apple, and I intend to find him.

If not, I still have an entire world to find what I am looking for!

Now, who needs a saddle?!



Blondes like riding bare back!!

Del Friskeys

I was in Houston last week for my birthday bash. My friends took me to Del Friscos, twice. Once was enough. Del Friscos is an over rated steak house with a cruise ship appeal. Its swooping staircase, marble entry, tall ceilings, and massive granite bar with outstanding wine selection (as long as you purchase a bottle) brings in an array of patrons. I much preferred Uncle Tony’s when it was around. It was quiet, unpretentious and the best piano music for a bar this side of the Big Easy.


The first time we sat at the bar, I became fascinated with a very pretty brunette.
I was taken by her choice of fashion. A skintight aqua blue tank with a low dipping front and white hot pants with silver stiletto sandals. Not your usual style of dress for dinner and I quickly concluded that her profession was one of a lateral position.

I could be wrong but I am not!

The gentleman that paid for her company was conveniently located to the back of her. For she was focused on the more handsome men on the other side. At first, her temp for hire boss was pleased with the affirmations he was receiving from the many admirers of his paid girl. But that quickly subsided when he was completely ignored for the duration of drinks. He placed his hands on her shoulders and I actually felt her tighten up and cringe. She knew and I knew what was about to be. She was going to have to pony up the product.

Ickk!!

I followed her to the bathroom, went into the stall next to hers, leaned in and listened closely through the metal divider wall.

Sniff!!

Sniff!!

If I were her, I would want to numb my life as well!!


The second night I was there, a woman had her hand down a gentleman’s (did I just say gentleman--that's funny!) pants giving him a discreet stroking of his Johnson (did I just say discreet—that’s funny, too!). Actually it was a bit discreet until he made a point to let me know he was just taken care of. He actually made a point to lean back in his chair and rearrange his wiggle stick and tuck in his shirt, meanwhile, looking at me.

And if someone looks at me I say hello...it’s the polite thing to do!

“Hi, that looked good. Make sure to tip her well!"

"Was it on the menu?"

"Did you have a coupon?"

"Did your date come free with the suit?”

I think their were responses back from them but I failed to hear any of it. I was focused on the little girl and her family that just passed by us on their way to the dining section.



Blondes can't stomach tacky!!