God will Forgive Me

Don't laugh at the Pastor even if he is on drugs and comes into the wrong office.



You shouldn't have laughed in his face

I didn't mean to....It was divine intervention that made me do it

Your going straight to hell.

By way of leer jet my friend!!

That's not funny!

Yes it is.

No its not!

Its funny to me.



The Blonde only cares about herself!!!

My Father's Laundry List

2 cell phone

1 Digital camera (latest casualty)

1 expensive silk dress

3 very expensive sweaters

Be wary of leaving your clothes in the reach of Laundry Man.
You think you have a towel when you get out of the shower..NOPE...he took it because he couldn't find anything to put in the laundry.

God forbid you leave anything in your pockets because he doesn't check before throwing the laundry in the wash and then he will blame you for not taking things out of your pocket.

and God forbid you leave your delicates or hand washables in the wash machine..He will put it in the dryer without a second thought.



Umm..Dad..Where is my silk dress I was washing on delicate.

Its in the dryer, why?

Oh Dad, that was really expensive and now its ruined.

Get mad at me for trying to help you!!

No Dad...you did help me..I needed a sun frock to wear over my bikini..its perfect now!!




The Blonde needs her own laundry room!!!

What did I do?!!

I am thinking if I did something wrong..

Life for me wouldn't be so great!!

I think everything has a reason and if you look hard enough you will find it always has a good reason for happening.

To understand people and their hearts you have to stand still and listen to what ISN"T being said

I realize its not me...its unresolved issues

and I got in the way

but in a good way



OH Well!!


I am sad about the whole affair!!


and more importantly....

Its putting a rain cloud over my pretty new convertible!!



so stop being stupid and say your sorry!!




Blondes refuse to put the top up because of rain!!

Tax?!!!

I have to pay sales tax on my car?!!


but Uncle Sam...it's a necessity!!



You can't tax thing I need!! I am still upset I have to pay sales tax on my handbags!!!


Its not Fair!!!

(insert pout here)



OK..minor set back.......then....... more stupid questions from family and friends...



Did you have it checked out?

Yes...I looked at all the pretty photos


What about the engine?

Oh..there was a photo of that too!



Do you know how much insurance is?

No...I don't have insurance on it yet...



How long is the loan for?

Long enough to pay it off...duh!



How much is TT & L?

What is TT & L?



Stop peeing on my parade people...



Blondes don't read fine print!!

Car Crisis Ova!!

Look what the Blonde Got on Ebay!!!

Another One bites the Dust

My car is in dire need of a green pasture and headstone. With over $2000 worth of engine repair and more for body work..it is time to let her die peacefully in someone's junk yard.

The problem is now I have to go buy a new car and that my friends..is like pulling my teeth out of my head and banging them back in with a hammer.

I have found an ugly new car I like...all new cars are short, stubby, non-sleak and ugly but I think I can tolerate the CLK convertible..we will see

I am waiting to hear...stay posted...

and for those keeping track of the last blog..use your imagination for God sake...

I'm in turmoil over my car...sex is the last thing on my mind

This blonde needs that Mercedes!!

Lesbian Liplock

I have stories from the bottom of the Petrone bottle but I am a little too hungover to write...
so stay tuned.

The blonde needs her beauty rest!!

World Order

My faith in humanity has been restored.

The stars are in alignment.

The world is in balance.

Karma does thrive.

Peace

Love

Warm Fuzzies just wash all over me when I think about...





THE PATRIOTS LOSING!!!!!!




Blondes like it when honest men win!

Hi Baby!!

Hey Baby!


Hey Baby!


Hey Baby!



Fate is a funny thing!!

You can tempt it once and it will put its foot down.
It has a way of telling you exactly where you should be.

Tempt it twice and it might just lead you off into the wrong direction.

I am not foolish enough to attempt anything twice. I hope I get it right the first time.

Like knowing the difference about what you want and what will make you happy.

I ask myself two thing:


If he lost everything...would I still be by his side?

Hmmmmm..... no!! Duh, I can be poor on my own!!


Veritas..Baby..Veritas...



The second question is:


Does he think I'm the bomb?!

and when I know the answer is absolutely, unequivocally yes...
I know I have just as much worth as the man
and that makes us equally valuable to each other.



Blondes are truly worth loving!!

Boobies!!!

I am puffy this week..

and I love it because it means my boobs are bigger.

I love holding them feeling the heftiness of them.

Next week they will be gone. Bummer.

If you happen to see my holding them and looking at them, and squeezing them to make cleavage. Don't judge me!! I am getting in touch with my masculine side.

I can see why men love them so much. They are kind of like a stress release ball.


Squeeze and play with them for awhile and you forget your at work!



Maybe I should get a pair to play with all the time?!!


Hmmm...



Blondes love squishy things!!

Blonde begets Blonde

If you wonder where my Blonde comes from..its hereditary on my Mother's side.

Just the other night I let her read the blog about the popsicles.
My Mother was completely oblivious to the sexual undertones.




"Cherry popsicle? What does a man know? Cherry is too acidic. How silly!"

"Right? Grape is better don't you think Mother?"

"Oh darling, yes grape is good but whipped cream would be even better. More soothing."

"Your right Mother, whip cream would be better."



Why didn't I think of that?!!



Blonde Mothers have great wisdom!!

Burn the Bad Ones!!

My Mother and I were talking in the kitchen the other day about my weekend happenings with the emphasis on my fashion choices.

I have designer clothes from New York, Milan and Paris, etc...and of course most of it is sexy and daring especially my thigh high boots that I love. I wish I could afford those Chanel thigh highs but at $1750, alas my bank account has fallen short these days...

Anyhoo:

My style floats in all the fore mentioned cities, like a sailboat does on crystal blue water but not in this town. We are a big town that likes to think we are a small city but were not--were a big town and like a town anything out of the norm scares the dickens out of the kin folk.

I am used to the stares, the whispers, the whatever makes them feel better about themselves conversations..it doesn't bother me. I like who I am and I really don't need the affirmations of strangers to fill me self-esteem gravy boat. I certainly wont lose sleep over the ones that really don't like me either--after all, its their issue not mine.

Even my Mom will get a dig in once in awhile. I am still not clear if she means it or if at her age she fails to see the use of fashion as a mark, or perhaps her European sense of adventure is diminishing in wake of a more americanized conservative tradition

WOW..that almost made me sound like a brunette.


Where was I?! Oh, yes...the nasty remark


"Well, Mother, I was wearing an Ungaro coat..I think they thought I was famous"

"Maybe they thought you were an expensive hooker"

"AAAHHHGHGG!"

"Mother, what happened?!"

"I burned myself"

"Hmm..must be Jesus getting you back for saying mean things to me! "

"Better watch out Mother, I surrendered, I have the original Godfather looking out for me!!"



I think I am getting this religion thing down. Its like having your own personal bodyguard--maybe that's why they call him the savior.?!


Who can we burn next?!!!



Blondes love having a bodyguard!!