Too much blonde not enough Time

Its a quick moment but none the less a blonde one...
A cold front moved into town while I was at lunch. When I came back I walked passed Shelly's office. She asked, "Is it chilly?"
and I said.."no your Shelly...duh"

Does every blonde hear this way?

This is A Museum Ma'am

Ma'am...You can't stand that close to the paintings.
Why? There are no ropes and I want to see the strokes they used to create the skin in the rennaisance paintings.
Ma'am, I am asking nice please do not stand so close to the paintings
Well, how far can I stand? That is too far and I don't see a line or a rope. I want to see it up close. I promise i won't even breathe while I am looking
Ma'am...I am not asking again. Please you can stand here...
Really, why can I stand there and not here..there are no lines or ropes...doesn't make sense. You agree with me right?
Ma'am, please work with me and stand here
I don't see the line that says I have to stand here..why don't you just let me stand here and you watch me...
Ma'am...alright you may look quickl;y at the painting from here.
I need to get a little closer..and my name is Via
Ma'am ,Miss Via..please, I am not asking again
Good, because its getting tiresome
What would happen if I touched it
Ma'am..Miss Via..please
altright, alright Pinkerton..I am off to the post modern sculptures..
Ma'aM...you can't stand so close to the sculptures
I give up...
Hey Pinkerton..let the blonde look!!

Blinde Blonde beauty tip #9

I decided to drink coconut milk as a natural diuretic. I wanted to be super skinny for the party this Saturday. I open the can of unsweetened thai coconut milk..At first I thought it looked wrong but thought maybe the chunks and the liquid just needed stirring. It didn't have strong smell or I just missed it but when i tried it...uckk..it was awful. I could barely choke it down but I thought...well, it is unsweetened..maybe the process of removing the sweetness and it was thai..well...ity tasted like foot..a dirty homeless persons footbut I kept trying to mix it in things to hide the flavor...afterall I have a party to go to and I want to be super thin....

I could bare it no more. It sat in my refridgerator until my Mother discovered it...she thought someone put caustic chemicals in my can of coconut milk...apparently it was that bad...and yes my Mother is a blond...why?back to story..I was drinking bad coconut milk...who knew things could go bad in a can...

Don't let a Blond stock the bomb shelter..

Ladies, Stop Sleeping Around!!

Its not attractive and your turning otherwise decent men into sex ogres who think they can get the milk free from every cow.

The double standard is here for a good reason.Use it.

Feminism isn't being one of the boys..its about being a better woman to yourself.

What is with the mentality that you sleep with all these men and than your so tired of being used you refuse to sleep with the guy your really like until he marries you!!

Slut is not a color blondes wear well!!

What’s the problem? I have condom!!

The problem?!!
This is sort of the second part to the series. Considering this date made it to my top 10 worst dates in my history books..I felt it deserved a little extra attention.
I don't know, i thought i looked good. i had my Ralph lauren boots on, my Armani cotton black dress (size 2) and cute smile..
He saw me, immediately headed for waiter, ordered his scotch, refused to talk to me or look at me, focused on this older couple that was kissing his ass the whole night and continued to ignore me to the point I felt I was no longer needed for the conversation and proceeded to grab the attention of other men..Im glad they validated that I deserve attention...not that I need validation!!
Even after all this, I didn't want the baffoon in all his drunken wonderment killing someone with his car. I offered to see if I could get double beds instead of my king to accomadate him and for that I get this when he advanced toward me...
What's the problem? I have a condom!!
needless to say..the door was politely slammed in his face.
Blondes don't date dullards!!