MaMa TeaCh YouR CowBoyS!!

Just because they have a condom in their wallet,. doesn't mean they will get to use it!

Yes, you can drink scotch like its water..but its not!

You don't have to wear the hat all the time

Cows and Girls are different..they just are!!

Blonde Moment 113

I keep losing count...
The fondue Gods sent down their wrath. Never break the golden rule of sticking one piece of steak on your fork.
I was tired and hungry so I attempted to add more than one cube of meat to my fork. The third piece is where the God's struck...the fork pierced the last piece of meat all the way through and lodged itself into the palm of my hand.

Blondes lose their appetite at the site of blood!!

Blonde Beauty Tip #6

If your going to want a little more scrubbing action than your basic loofah, I suggest that little yellow scrub cloth with the red band...found in your dish washing section of the local grocery store. I found, however, that it must be used with extreme care and that gentle scrubbing is best and at all cost avoid the oh so tender nipple area.

If by accident you are overly zealous with tyour scrubbing, one must stop by the first aid isle and pick up the tattoo style band aids with cute graphics on it...no reason not to be fashionable during your time in pain...avoid hugs, tight shirts, and sleep on your back or side until full recovery..

I would be ashamed but Im a blond...

Drivre traffic to your Blog

Actually I am only interested in driving traffic to my blog...so thanks for the view!!!

Blondes hope for read rage!!

Kreepy Karma

O.K. so its close to Halloween and this is really creepy. My cell phone rang and it showed block caller ID. I let it roll to voice mail and than I checked it.It was some guy who dialed the wrong number, assuming its not a joke, saying he is a patient and needs to talk to someone right away..Mr. Hanson is his name but he left no phone number. The guy sounded like he is about to off himself and had a creepy Stephen Hawkins voice...I'm right to think this is a joke, right? Is this karmic retribution because I upset a muse...hmmm

Hey Mr. Hanson..don't bum a blonde out and die!!

GroWn Ups in Costume aRe CrEepY

I don't dress up, not to be a bum but because I have seen what y'all look like at the parties. That oil make up on the big old pores and wrinkles and then you drink and then your face smears and..Holy Shiat..you lke Stephen Kings 'It' clown melting in front of my eyes..its not pretty..its down right scary..
You probably scare the dickens out of your own kids coming home all stinkedified in that polyester outfit, twisted up hair wigs that have been dipped more than twice in someone's goblin punch and that melted face paint.
Im scared just thinking about it..this year toss a couple of baby dolls over shoulder tied with string, short t-shirt that doesn't cover your but and boots...there..now your Britney Dam Spears

Now...Stop scaring the blonde!!

No E

Spell check keeps telling me their isn't an e in blond..There has to be because I keep spelling it that way. I'm pretty sure spell check is wrong..after all what does it know about being Blonde anyway.


B.L.O.N.D.E....blonde..yep..there is an E




Blonde or Blond is still just as blinde!!

Granola mentality at Whole Foods

I think anything can be taken too far, don't you?

The other morning I was on my way to read a script and stopped at Whole Foods to get a cup of tea. I perused the glass case of saran wrapped egg biscuits under the artificial heat lamp. I watched the workers scurry behind the counter making the coffee and putting the plastic lids on - that every morning probably top the landfill by a couple of inches - not that any of this bothers me much...

What bothers me is the reaction from the chick behind the counter after I asked what she thought was a most absurd question.

"Where is the sweet and low?"

My question was returned with an immediate response that seemed to resonate with a little hostility behind the voice.

"We don't have artificial sweetener. We Have Zillertal!"

Zillertal!!?

Awfully synthetic name for such a natural sweetener wouldn't you say?
"We also have nectar." huffed the counter chick proudly.

I took the Zillertal which by the way is the European equivalent of  Equal - a artificial sweetener dervied from synthetically mastered plant extract.

Give a blonde a break before her morning coffee!!