The Way You Hurt me

Feed my Fish!!!

Hollywood

Y'

Bring Back Collective Soul!!

Chet Baker

The Blonde is beyond stunned by his music!!

An Almost Ditch

I almost ditched a date tonight. I had it in my mind that blind dating is going to serve up nothing more than a dead end soup with annoyance for crackers.

But...I was wrong!!

Recently I have found it smart to expect the worst and never be disappointed. But I expect the worse so much that I almost ditched this date.

And to my surprise he was sweet, funny, cute in a Tom Arnold sort of way...and I actually had a great time.

And to think I almost missed out on this one because of all the ones before that turned out to be wet sprockets.

I think this might actually be fun for a change.

I think this is a positive step in walking away from the last of the unavailable men.

Who?

Augusto!

I can't kick the Augusto habit unless I have someone new to focus my attention on.

This one might just be the one to finally pull me toward a real relationship.

Its time.

I have been kicking it back with the wrong men for so long. I am tired, bored, and ready for something real..

Who knows?

Not me, but won't it be fun to see what unfolds?

For the first time, I am really excited about someone.

In the mean time, I will still expect the worst...

(he does have really small feet)

but from now on...


The Blonde will hold out for the best!!

CindaBlondarella

...wakes up every morning to her geriatric cat and his crap on the outside of his litter box.

I clean and scrub the floor, brush the litter from his fur, and feed him knowing his time to lay down for good is less than a while away.

I then go outside and feed the ghetto cats that came from the street and a builder mart parking lot. They are much more hardier than the glamorous puss known as Goose and will last years longer.

I than make my coffee in the morning and get to the phone and begin work.

In between phone calls and emails I study philosophy, ethics, and literature.

Its a good semester. I like my classes.

I am in the midst of writing a new essay for UT Austin.

Although I got in to all the schools I applied to, I could not-in the end-afford any of them.

And they were a little farther away than I want to be from my son, who is being deployed to Afghanistan in November.

All the while, I was holding out hope of meeting someone to be a shoulder I could lean on but the bullshit has me so depressed, I am beyond tears.

Liars and cynics is all I seem to run into these days and with what is on my plate, I have little patience for any of them.

Its OK, I am stubborn and it will take some time for me to kill this hope of love and commitment. I can't turn it off in a day and I know that.

The hope of love is hard to kill and the fear of my son going off to war is beyond any sadness i could have imagined.

I beg and pray to God that he will come home. He has to come back home. There is no other option.

God has to bring him home safe to me.


I am no Cinderella story and I don't feel I am even a Paul Harvey story, waiting to happen, any more. But I don;t deserve this much heartache.

I never did anything to deserve this life.

This is called depression, and it hits me every once in awhile but it will go away and even when I am sad I know I need to take care of those less fortunate than me; so I take my Jimmy Choo shoe money and feed the Bambis, the possums, the raccoons, and the stray animals that do not need to suffer as long as I am around.

And I get the great pleasure of giving my son anything of the small things I can do for him. I just wish I could have done more and then he might not have had to go off to war.

Its all I have to hold on to...

That is enough to get the Blonde up every day!!