Killer Kraut

Don't tell my Mother your ill or you will find yourself being killed with kindness.

German homeopathic meds come in two forms..alcohol or candy.

Licorice candy in a medicinal looking container good for respiratory ailments. I have yet to witness its benefits.

There is a medicine she gives me for stomach ailments which is basically absynth or grappa that she soaks into a sugar cube. Even with the sugar cube it still tastes like rubbing alcohol


If your illness is a little more serious, she finds her way into the more than a dozen old prescription bottles that she never finished. I think they date back to 1999.

Which brings me to her killing spree...

It wasn't the mexican food that poisoned me..it was my Mother, again!

Only this time no tea!!

She gave me outdated medicine in the middle of the night to help me fight off an infection I got from traveling leaving me with symptoms mimicking the flu.


I have since recovered but still leary of Mom...



Blondes don't need enemies when they have family!!

Poisonous Thoughts

There is no way I am pregnant so...

I must have food poisoning or maybe my Mom is trying to kill me with her tea again.

Anytime I have a stomach ailment, I think I am pregnant, (happens a lot in November when allergy season hits me the worst) even if I haven't been with anyone for a really long time and/or dozens of crimson tides have rolled on by.

I just feels like I have morning sickness. Why can't I think I have the flu..maybe I am not so scared of the flu..that's why!!

Hhmmmm....

There must be a medical term for the condition I have; it has to be listed in some psychology journal of medicine and if not it should be. It is kind of a unique mental ailment, if you ask me.


Anyhoo,

I have felt horrible for days and days and I am pretty sure the culprit was the mexican food at Maudies..they always suck but at least they are consistent.

Come to think of it, I did drink my Mother's tea!!

I think its a mild case of botulism, in which case knowing that botox is made from it makes me think I will end up killing two birds with one stone:

fighting wrinkles from the inside out

and losing weight


Needless to say, I have even found something good in being poisoned!



The blonde likes finding needles in hay stacks!

Pouting over Pony

I am thoroughly disgusted with myself that I want these pony-haired boots.

I want them to go with my crocodile coat that I just bought.

Now I feel bad for the crocodile.

and what about the cow? I have tons of leather from cows!!

Oh my Gah...am I growing a conscience?


Lets see:


If I had the money for the boots..would I buy them?

Yes! but I would feel bad really bad about it.


Oh, my Gah! I think I am growing one of those conscience things.


Nah...it must be the flu.



Blondes try to be subjective !!

When life is the Pits

Make cherries....DUH!!!


I didn't get my cam

My new car is in the shop

and I have food poisoning!!



but if you look at it in a blonde light...



I will get a better camera later and the extra money bought me new clothes now!

The car notified me of repairs needed before the 30 day warranty expired!

and I lost a bunch of weight this week without even trying!


Blondes find the good in everything!!

True Art speaks to Me