10.28.2009

Do Not Smoosh Bugs

...on your dates leg!!


I had a date in good ole San Antone last night. A pretty night called for margaritas and some
tex-mex on the deck, under a large tree, at this pretty little restaurant on the north end of the city.

Seeing as its almost November and being smack in the middle of fall, it did not occur to me that the last remaining mosquito this season would land on my thigh.

It also did not occur to me that my date would take his hand and smack the mosquito so hard that it would smoosh and stick to my leg. It all happened so fast. I only saw the aftermath when my date lifted his hand.


I am at a restaurant!

I will not scream!

I will not panic

Get it off, get it offf, GET IT OFF!!!

With a quick swipe of the napkin, it was gone but the grossness of the event lingered on throughout dinner. I used half my martini to disinfect my leg and the other half to blur my memory of a dead smooshed bloody thing all over my thigh.

After 3 jalopena and pomegrante martinis, not as bad as you think, I was laughing and almost completely over the bug attack and thinking I might not get some weird new string of swine virus from it when a giant moth landed on the table.

That was all I needed to end the outdoor festivities! Other than that the date went well.


The Blonde doesn't get bugged much!!

10.23.2009

Waiter, The Check ...Quickly Please

I went out last night with someone who looked about 10 years older and 4 inches shorter than his pictures revealed online. The profile also forgot to mention in the 'about me' section, about him being an old fashion bigot. He actually used the 'N' word three freaking times.
I told him he need to quickly stop with it right there. I should have just left but I am a glutton for punishment and I really wanted my petit filet and King crab legs. Sullivan's is super cheesy but there food is always good.

So I stay and it gets worse.

Oh yes it does!!

It gets fabulously worse.

Old Tex fessed up that he drank a 24 oz can of Coors ( redneck pronunciation: cuurs) driving from Houston to Austin. He had several glasses of wine before I got to the restaurant. He plowed down 4 more glasses of wine at dinner, getting a little nastier and a little more honest about his true nature, which is a natural jerk.

He starts telling me how the twenty somethings will hit on him because he has a house on the lake and big Mercedes Benz. He slurrs some sentences on why he hates pretentious people that have a problem with the 'F' bomb.

Etc...

Etc...

Etc...

As I nudge the waiters to help me round up things at this dinner, he lifts his head from a stuper and tells me he needs to pick up his friends at the airport. I kept asking, "Are you sure you don't want to switch to water or tea. I can make sure its green and not black tea." Ok, I really didn't say the last part but seriously, who says the 'N' word anymore, other than one of my favorite comedians Kat Williams.

I didn't want this dude on the road smashing into an inoccent car. He just kept telling me that he was getting drunker...but he kept drinking.

By the time this disaster ended he could barely walk properly. I left him abruptly on the curb and as I walked by the valets I said, "Grandpa is drunk again."

I just thought to myself the cops at the airport will help him out if he can't drive.


The Blonde is done with dinner dates!



10.22.2009

I Am Still Here

I just have been super busy studying, writing essays for school, and looking for new beaus on a new internet dating site I joined for 30 days. So far, its going very well. Time will tell if I am dealing with more habitual daters but I am feeling positive about it.

I had a great date with my first date. He is a cutey and I had a ball. He is 4 years younger than me, so it looks like I might be wanting to exercise my cougar skills but considering this is about as young as I will go, its not truly a wild at endeavor.

I have drinks tonight with someone and I am working the phone for a few out of towners. I do love to travel, only this time I am hitting mostly the west coast.

Sorry its only a quick note for you but I have to get ready for tonight.

The Blonde is Back to her pursuits!!!

10.07.2009

Changing My Blondes

...to brunettes.

You are who you hang with and quite frankly, I don't want to hang out with womanizers. At least the Captain admits it but Raine wouldn't admit he was in the wrong if you side swiped him across the head (choose whichever head you want) with two blondes, a red head and a brunette.

I don't want someone telling me women have an expiration date...uh hum...Captain. I think men in there 50's go through some type of mid life crisis because they seem to be the worst womanizers on the planet. Somewhere around 58 they get over it and start to look to settle down. I guess they realize they have an expiration date when they notice the she-well starts drying up and dating the young women they want isn't a game of shooting blondes in a barrel but more like a game of throwing a ring over a coca cola bottle; you need to pull out a lot of dollars to get the prize.

What is funny, guys lie about there age just as much as woman on internet sites. I try to stay below 46 but somehow, the men I date seem to creep up in age over a dinner date. I want someone my age who is as excited about finding a girlfriend just as much as I am about finding a boyfriend.

As far as hanging with my blondes? Eventually if I continue my friendship with these men they will have me convinced that I am too old to deserve anything better than what they are offering, which is a whole lot of nothing.

I am replacing them with brunettes.

The Blonde likes her new out look!!!

10.06.2009

Who Got A

for annoyed?!

I got A!!

I am so glad I do not pay for the dating site I am most recently frolicking on. I would be really miffed knowing half the dudes on this site are online dating junkies.

Its like surfing through a needle in a haystack just to find one nice guy which I am fairly sure with the name of this site, there aren't really any. I mean they are nice, they just don't mean anything they portray or say on their profile.

My favorite ones are the ones that will try to string you along on a lie.

I hate those.

Why can't they just be up front about their real deal?

Its a new time.

Woman are going slut and having a ball with it!


I actually am probably way too honest, on my profile, for this site but I really don't expect to find the love of my life on it anyway... but you never know.

Always the optimist!!

Right now its a great way to blow off steam while I am studying.

Another great thing about not paying for the premo service is I can't see who viewed me and /or who favorited me. I think if they can't even say at least a little hello, he is not man enough for me. Besides I don't want to get my feelings hurt looking at all the ones that passed me up. Its so much easier to live in a false sense of fabulousness than it is seeing the reality that I was passed up by a bunch of cute junkies.

Anyhoo,

I have to get back to studying. I have a big line up for the weekend and I need to cram class work in before the fun starts to hit the fan.

The Blonde is in a better class!

10.02.2009

Google Was Wrong

(read yesterday's posting)

That was not the guy who answered my ad for platonic ticket to ACL festival.

Whew!

But the guy who did answer the ad is not my type.

First of all, never, never, never send me a picture without your shirt on unless I have carnal knowledge of you already!

Second, what idiot wears sunglasses indoors while taking a snapshot of himself with the webcam?

and Third but not least; he used the word dating when I said strictly platonic.

The fact he emailed me 6 times already, I am fairly certain he has classic stalker tendencies and I just got rid of the last one.

This weekend I am going back some oldies but some goodies; one old date I ran into and one of the cuter ex's. He is my safe and but sorry I broke up with you backup when I am in need of comfort friend.

The Blonde turned to the right guys!
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