The Blonde Feminist

I recently read a post about "What Women Want?", written by a man commenting on the works of a new and upcoming female sexologist. To the journalists credit, he found the study as inconsequential as I did.

I don't even know how you end up with a doctorate in Sexology? I looked on the web and it seems to me you can just claim it without a degree. After all, what university is going to teach sex as a main course, other than the Kinsey Institute and we know what a perv he was!

The article doesn't question what women want-that's just the title- it questions our motivation for sex. In other words, how can the sexologist sell her findings to a pharmaceutical company to enhance female lust.

The sexologist failed to comment whether the women were married, single, young, old, fat, thin, pretty, or ugly. She failed to say her findings were anything but a red line of data on her hard drive after plugging in comment cards from willing participants who watched videos while strapped to a contraption measuring body response.

I must admit, I skimmed most of the dribble, but I read enough to arouse my opinion. You can read it as well:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html?em

The comments are even more enlightening.

The article suggests women are more emotional in their desire for sex. I certainly know how emotional I feel when I turn on my neck massager.

Using a vaginal plethysmograph to measure blood flow after watching sex of different orientations sends data to a computer which is later interpreted to a graph of bologna. Maybe its not arousal but the sensation of being embarrassed watching gay porn with wires clipped to your tutu. I can't bring myself to watch Brokeback Mountain let alone watch two guys getting it on donkey kong style. Don't get me wrong, I have lots of gay friends but I tell them, just like I tell my hetero friends, "You can't have sex on my coffee table when guests are around."

The whole premise of the study is to discover why women are sexually dysfunctional. We are not dysfunctional just because we can't keep up with the abnormalities of a 24/7 hard on induced by Viagra.

Stop making women feel inadequate with your Kinsey Freak reports. I can tell you as a single woman, I have just as much drive as a man. Now, if I were idiot enough to get married under the femi-natzi 'having it all' guide book, you can bet; dropping down naked in a sexual fantasy for my husband after I worked all day, shuffled the kids to and fro, cooked and cleaned until the Late Show came on..your damn right their would be a dis in my sexual function.

We don't need sexologists telling us we suck because we don't suck enough. We don't need Glaxo to come up with a pill. We don't need to watch baboons getting it on to see if we feel like getting it on. We need a new attitude about ourselves.

You know what Women want?

They want to look in the mirror every day and say, "Damn!! I look good!!"

Which is a pretty hard thing to come by when the media and the online dating sites makes you feel like a worthless old heifer after the age of 28 and wear anything over a size 2.


The Blonde will see you now!!

Michelle Obama is not a Fashion Icon

unless you are a fan of frumpy. Not to be a jerk but someone has to poop on the parade, so it will be me.

I do not know how the First Lady will do on a whole but I am hoping for the same feather ruffling as my girl Hillary. And while I am excited about her taking on the task at hand, fashion is not her forte, so let's not give credit, where credit it isn't due. The Huffington Post is way too biased in their selection of feel good commentary on this very subject.



Michelle, while a smart, hip, and go getting woman, is hardly what I would call a fashionista. At the Ball, she was awkward and didn't know how to properly scoop up the back of the dress to dance. The dress seemed a tiresome act of fashion faux pas; a ruffled, worn out sheath that did not fit the style of a post feminist African American woman. I think she was more suited to wear a structured sheath constructed with sass and vibrant colors to match the truth of her allure. She is a strong woman that can not wear feminine lingerie in public. That damn dress should have stayed on the dreary white 90 lbs. mannequin in the window.

I would like to think the dress was a politically smart move chosen on Michelle's part but after researching the designer and his history, I have to say no. Jason Wu was born into a well to do import/export family that afforded him the luxury of studying abroad, by way of Canada in order to study in the U.S., and then landed as an understudy to Narciso Rodriguez before starting his own line with his parent's backing. Certainly not a tale of 'rags to riches' one likes to hear.

I hope this isn't a glimpse into how the roots of a solid begginning can be easily smothered by the corruption of power and money.

As far as the yellow 'Kennedy' copycat number during the parade...I just have to say..not every democrat elect needs to be equated with the Kennedy era. The Clintons didn't have it and the Obamas don't either; but why would they? Neither of them grew up with silver spoons in their mouth like John and Jackie.

I think white mainstream media is so afraid of coming off racist, that they make themselves look like idiots. They pat themselves on the back for comparing the Obama's to the Kennedy's'.Oh Please!!!

To me, you should have compared them to a better family, like the Kings!!

Jackie fixed up the white house and made the pillbox hat a hot ticket. Coretta Scott King was too busy carrying on the message of freedom to care if she made the cover of Vogue. Michelle would be better off studying the styles of women that fit her stature; not that of the fashion militia and mainstream media.

Real women have a style that transcends, why have mainstream dress them like Barbies, when they can dress themselves, so much more eloquently!!


And for the record, Aretha can wear any damn hat she wants!

Cutting Back

Every day I get out of the shower, blow dry my hair and take scissors to my bangs. If I keep it up, I am going to have that caterpillar look I had in 5th grade.

I can't get the few hundred hairs, lying in the middle of my forehead, to conform to what I want. I don't know why hair needs to have a life of its own, afterall, they are dead cells. Its an oxymoron for my hair to act this way.

Its even more moronic that I can't leave the hairs alone. Why do I think I can threaten their existence with a scissor when they are already dead. What do they care if they are on my head or flushed away in the toilet to swim the great ocean?

I have to hide my scissors.

You think it would be hard to hide something from yourself, but my Mother does it all the time with a near perfect track record. It is one of the many super powers of a Blonde.

Blondes need to let things grow!!

Netflix

After more than enough entertaining the past week, I am happily tucked into my closet sized hacienda with a new batch of chick flicks to occupy my time. I will probably stay up until the wee hour of the morn with a big box of tissue and a bottle of vino, watching love unfold, like only Hollywood can deliver.


Blondes like a good love story!!

An Inaugural Hickie

I spent the inauguration with my New York guy. For the rest of my life, I will equate the inauguration of our first caucasion-less president, as the day I found my neck bruised from a kiss by NY G.

I do not know where we will end up. We may have very well seen the last of each other; I do not know, but it is exciting, just to wonder at the possibility.

Beginnings are always a fabulous enigma, because we hold open the door to everything that is good. We, as humans, think that every new opportunity offers the very key to our happiness. We never enter into the 'new' without the hope of a great outcome, except when we grow older and understandably hold history under our wing; carrying it as a weight that reminds us we can no longer fly with the reckless abandonment of youth and innocence. At the later stages of our perception, we find life too cruel a world, filled with empty promises, that are eager to burn us. But, as evident in our elections; as hardened as we may seem, we always hold out the feather's chance to be reborn from the ashes and rise like a gryphon, anxious to fly again.

In retrospect, Barack doesn't have many more challenges to face than I do. He is coming in as the new girlfriend on the back heels of a self serving, profiteering, gold digging and destructive biatch (current admin), that would make Kevin Federline look like Mother Teresa. Barack will have to prove himself--enduring all the scrutiny and skepticism of a new suitor going after someone who has pulled out of one too many bad engagements.

My taste for successful and slightly older gents leaves me open to the same obstacles to climb. I am already scuffing the tops of my pointed toe, designer pumps, on the recounts of EXs gone bad, way before the main course hits our table. For me, the limitations of the relationship with these gents are not lines drawn in the sand...


OH, NO!!!

They are lines drawn on my napkin with a medium point Sharpie!!


But, I will overcome!!

If the American Peeps can overcome, so can I!!

And you know why?!

Because, as hardened and disillusioned as the last administration made the citizens of this great nation feel; it only took one great first date (campaign) with a charismatic lawyer to make the status quo discover they were in love with their country again. And I may fall short of being a love interest for any of the men I am currently seeing, but just knowing they invested enough time and effort to pursue a first date with me, leaves me with the great satisfaction of knowing they are open to the 'NEW', and the greatness of being with a Blonde.

I may not be the answer to living happily ever after but I am definitely the cliff notes on how it should be.

The Blonde hopes everyone will overcome!!!