2.09.2015

No Heart is Broken Ungracefully

but tactfully we can aspire to...

And when I say tactfully I mean full force hurt them for not being the one you want after they pretended to be....

Going back in time when I was still alive...I remember the men I wanted and they pulled all the stops out for me.

Flowers, not just flower but full on bouquets of brilliant color and scent...

It took me off guard and I thought they really wanted me but they only wanted to ensure that they had me for their bed.

And they played me like a violin that but the reality cane down and I realized I was only their to be tied to their bed as muse...

Well, that is when empowerment came and I traded in my love for the gifts they would give me.

I had Fendi, Louis, Louboutin and the likes...

and the loss of something real.

See, I was under the impression I could win the hearts f these men but I know I never could.

I was not of their world and they only brought me in for their pleasure and desire and I willingly step forward thinking the flowers and gifts meant something.

In their world, they were just cheap baubles to keep a pretty girl who was good in bed around!

Now that I am on the other side...I have willed my pain on them...

Being undead has its perks as far as karmic retribution but being undead also leaves me void of the amusement I would have felt by throwing my anger into  the thrill of hurting the.

I have no feelings toward anything so the thrilling sensation of getting even is flat but I am sure I can vicariously live it through you.

So , ladies be my minions and bring forth the confidence to hurt men as they see fit to do us.

XOXO

Blindead by Blonde!




2.06.2015

Jobs I left

Continuing with the past before I was dead....

let me hit upon jobs and not men.

The funny thing is, most my jobs came to me because men liked my look and hired me. Not to say I didn't deserve it but a woman in human resources would pass me up just to be a bitch who did not like pretty girls.

I actually had a woman interview me and ask me about my dating habits at the office.

I told her, it was wrong.

Wrong answer because she shot back at me that she was dating a client and then preceded to go on about how I might be someone who would take him from her.

I guess timing was my fault here. The client she was dating happened to be there when I was waiting in the reception area and he tried to have a moment with me.

So, the woman saw this interaction and the interview that pursued was quite frankly her telling me that she will win the battle.

What battle?

It was a shit job and her guy was not that great!

I did not get the job.

Shocker to the blonde...never!

2.03.2015

Reading my past are you?

I saw someone viewing a post moment from Aspen.

It was beautiful. Every moment was perfect. Even the gentleman I was with was perfect... but perfection is fleeting and silly to think  it could ever continue.

That same man, who adored me so, turned on me and so I turned on him. Only as a woman could I ensure killing him with my words
and I did...and he deserved it for hurting me.

You see, men like Aspen, could never go for a woman who could have loved him. He wanted the pursuit which meant you sitting there like a loyal dog until called upon.

And the fact, back then., I had no money, so I was not free to his beck and call and he made me feel bad for being slave labor.

A King wanting slave labor...could only Cinderella dream...

And I would sit a lady in waiting if it meant the castle but he was only willing to dole out his small affections.

Good thing he found what he was looking for in a medical dog. Appropriate if you think about it.

The dog was on a harness and subservient to the very end.

I would have ruined the dog with my all too much love to give and all too much cavalier attitude to authority behind the King's back....

It is a good thing nothing ever transpired.

In the end, all I wanted was a friend when I moved here and the King seemed a likely subject to behold but being friends with a puaper was too unbearable for him.

he only saw the pauper girl as one that wanted his gold.

Who in my state of life would ever be so bold to ask for more than was written long before I was born.

Destiny has a way of putting everyone in there place. I should know. I tried very hard to change it.

The Blonde tried!! What does it matter now?

and fuck typos.. I am not here to win a Pulitzer!

Invisibility works for me

My own personal journal from hell and back and back to hell...

In another life, one day I will get everything I wished for but in this one...it is just all gone.

But I digress.

I promised to write stories of my past and that is what I am doing.

This one is a short one but at least a starter for something newer and happier in my writing.

Parents!! Listen up!!

You are the ones that make or break your children and there is no escape from it. So heed my tale and learn.

Before Big Daddy and the Crazy Kraut killed their family, there were some really sweet parenting, too short to count sad to say!

Their children, three daughters were dragged to all the incredible mansions on the north east coast and there... we daughters dreamed of everything. And we never thought we couldn't have it.

We would smell the Chanel No 5 on my Mother as she prepared to go out for the ballet with my father. She would kiss each of our hands with her lips and leave us a beautiful lipstick stain to our hands to show how special we were.

We had all the beautiful dresses and the life that was to lead us into a fairy tale..

and then...

the fairy tale became a nightmare and we, the children were sacrificed!

The Blonde remembers being a princess once...but even a princess can be stripped of her tiara and thrown into a dungeon when the King lost his position.

Big Blue took my Daddy down and it was his fault for being too smart with no common sense to be charming.

I hate corporations! Even more I hate my Father for being such an ogre!

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