10.09.2022

When I stopped Believing in God

 It won't take long for me to write this. 

I remember that day, the last thing I asked God.

I didn't ask him for anything. I was too young to even know I could.

I was in my room, scared to death that someone was going to walk in again. Beat me up for some stupid thing that had nothing to do with me.

I was just an outlet of my parents to let the stress out. "the shit gotta go somewhere"

Laying in my room, under that ugly, yellow-flowered bedspread, tucked in between as many stuffed animals as I could pack around me...

I asked God, "What did I do so wrong, that you hate me so much, to give me these parents?"

He never answered. I was 9.



James Bond Dead! No Candy for You!

I think only the older generation will understand the significance of James Bond's death. 

Of course he was only a fictional character so to play the "WOKE" card on this is saying what? The older generation is obsolete? 007 is just a number, and nigger is just a word?

So why does it bother me James Bond is dead?

Why does it bother black people that "nigger" out of any other lips other than a black person is so disturbing?

What brings power to these things that can make a person so upset? 

I use this blatantly vast contrast to make a point. 

Obviously it is not the same, but why? 

What button does it push?


9.17.2022

Stuck In Middle America

 I am in a NOrman ROckwell at first glance. 

But this superb stack home community sheds light on themselves little by bit at a time.

It is easy to see how afraid people are to be alone and easily succumb to complacency in a neighborhood like this.

I already feel smothered by the gross need for everyone to have someone so they can feel validated.




Are we really manipulating the weather?

 Fuck me and all of us. Countries that create their own clouds and disturb Mother Nature as a way to hide the destruction of pollution they cause. China and India are right up there in the Gold and Silver medal position.

These 2 countries and their leaders and their greed will kill all of us.

China and India!!

Can't dominate the world if there is not one!

Don't wear hot pink leather pants to a Global Entry Interview

 And don't be a white, female, blonde that can't cover the stamp, which says the world will keep fucking with you when they could have just let the door open. 

And definitely, don't be white and blonde and wear hot pink leather pants to AN INTERVIEW where the Hispanic machismo already knows he is going to fuck with you. 

The one thing about Tex-Mex machismo is...  you don't have it if you can't look the girl in the eye right before you fuck her!

He wanted me to relive the most horrific moments of my life all over again. I could not do that. 

I had a couple scars on my app, so wondering why they allowed the interview and did not deny the first round of my application to Global Entry? Did Texas need the $100 app fee that bad?

I was an idiot anyway.

Global Entry is not Global..it is just for the U.S. 



5.25.2022

Uvalde. shockingly not surprising anymore

 OK media, calm down before you rant on stupid things!

It has only been a day - speak only of the love and lives and in a week or so go on your stupid rant about guns not understanding the true nature of these crimes and how to stop them.

A child was brutally teased through school, comes home every day after those blows to a hostile environment with a drug addict and no where to seek help. So his anger grew and grew, and grew. And he went back to this childhood, waiting for this moment until he was 18 to buy the assault rifles, and he chose elementary school because that is where he was hurt the worst.

Here is the thing, if he could not get the rifles, he would have found another way to inflict the pain he was feeling on the community who abandoned him.
Not about guns! Not about politics! This is about a child finally breaking. And turning into a teen growing up and people caring less and less.
Every school shooting has one theme and that theme is extreme bullying with out a support system at home or at school!

Until you address the real elephant in the room, nothing will be fixed.

CHILD WELFARE, MENTAL HEATH!!

You had a sweet kid with friends slowly disintegrate in front of people and NO ONE reached out...

 and now he is the monster.

He wanted people to feel his years of vented up pain and be heard.

Well, 19 children later... he finally was heard.

This could have been stopped 10 years ago if anyone decided to give a shit.

All my love and prayers to the families! But please let's get real.

5.17.2022

Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard Trial

 Anyone else getting too emotionally involved and pushing out some PTSD behaviors just watching the Depp vs Heard trial?

I am sorry, I tried to stay neutral for as long as I could, but coming from the world she so desperately is trying to describe lacks the color and clarity of memories.

I remember in vivid color and clarity everything that someone did to me. Hell I have a digital catalog with time stamps.

She has a written diary? Have they date tested the ink? Yes, that is how cynical I am of her testimony.

The other weekend, I was in a grocery store and I thought I saw the man who stole my house, and I froze. I literally freaked out thinking it was him and what would I have done if it was actually him and recognize me and worse come over to talk to me.

Luckily, it was not him.... but reminds me - this never goes away. EVER!

I am sure people act in different ways, maintain their composure during testimony - by the way what is in that pink liquid? - but we don't get snagged on tape saying yes I hit you and get over it, and in court say I never assaulted anyone.

Some of us do take the hurt and never say anything except on an underground blog no one reads. I don't think this is Amber's case. 

Johnny is the one can't look at her, but she can look at everyone. You fooled people once, but you can't fool them twice, not with 10 years on your face. You do not look so innocent any more. Not that you did in your first deposition. How is that eye-rolling and snickering working for you now?

Enough of her. I would send you the link to have her cancelled from Aquaman 2, but I do not believe in cancelling anyone. Netflix learned that lesson as well as Bozoma Saint John who got her ass kicked to the curb for leading the charge to publish movies that lecture people. 

Don't be a false leader.

the Blonde



2.06.2022

I never dump men, I just....

ask them when we are getting married 

if I want them gone:)

The Blonde!

Never Rent a Storage Unit if Management Lives on Prem! Uhaul!

 It has always been my opinion and historical fact, that any storage unit rented with on-prem management is a hustle.

What kind of people live at a storage facility? And what is their family and employees like?

First one, they stole all my television sets while  kept going up and down to unload. They kept me busy with their loser family trying to talk to me as they stole from me.

I was tired and did not figure it out until later, and guess what? When I asked for security camera footage...

duh, they did not work .

Now, I tried to move into a new one and they fuck with the billing. Supposedly, I got a free month, but had to pay the first month. 

Then they made up for the free month buy double billing me in February.

Uncle Bob for 20 years, which turned into Life Storage and other than they added $70 to bill within 1 year. Now the gate is broken and lets in the crackheads.

I will taser any fucker that comes close to me and probably until they need an ambulance because if my PTSD.

U-Haul is the sketchy one. 

They got me in at $225, only to yank up my rent in the first month by $30...really not an issue, but the fact I was quoted a free months rent and got doubled bill in February for it. leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I rented a van to move the little bit I have out and put it back in may garage.

At these rates, it is just easier to buy another house and store there.

There will be a follow up to this bullshit. Because you haven't heard how the sales girl had fun fucking me with the U-Haul van rental. Thanks Monique for being a dick. You are my next highlight!


Oh shit, update!!!!!

Wait to I tell you about the bullying and harassment by this girl when I called to say I would be a few days late!

Not a broke ass, just my bank and brokerage like to play holding games.

This is why crypto works better for me, but unfortunately - still needs to be converted and passed through these mother fuckers.

I find my bank is no more guilty that crypto.com - they love holding money 14 days, which is bullshit if they want to claim crypto is better than banks.













1.21.2022

Why Cops Freak Me OUT!

I have not written about this  before.

Most traumatizing things, I tend to bury and ignore it happened until it goes away.

But you can not escape PTSD, and that cray will come out when something triggers your ass.

For me it was the Refuel bit and the fucking cop and kid.

Reminded me of the time I had a bad asthma attack and barely made it to the pharmacy to get the emergency inhaler. Unfortunately for me, the pharmacy was next door to the loon house and some freak from within called the police. 

I have no idea what they said, the hispanic, female cop with a chip on her shoulder would not reveal that information.

I explained to her I just had an asthma attack and stopped to pick up an emergency inhaler. I showed her the receipt , but this bitch did not care one bit. She was taking me down just because she fucking could.

She made me do the touch your nose, recite the alphabet backward, lift one leg and I passed with flying colors. She still put me in the fucking car and took me to jail.

I sat for an hour against a white brick wall... I think they were waiting for me to show some sign of drunkeness that would never come.

Than after that did not work, they tried to pressure me into a blood test. I refused because I had taken the albuterol and that could register as a false positive for a drug. 

When I refused, they claimed I was suicidal and they stripped me of my clothes, put me in a paper gown and through me into a cement block with the temperature set at 40% F.

The next day, I was pulled out of the cell and brought up to to a black woman who said she could keep me in through the entire Thanksgiving holiday. And she was right. She could have said and done anything and I would be powerless.

I kept my mouth shut, refused to say anything. She kept going on saying shit, trying to make me break. But you can't break someone who is already broken, bitch!

The cops were so fucking mean to me. Like they took pride and joy in fucking with a person who never really deserved to be there in the first place.

So defund police? HELL FUCKING YES!!!!


1.18.2022

Refuel Market? What is wrong with your new people?

 I know there is a new world order, but let us not get carried away, OK cancel twats.

I have over 20 years with this gas station and Wag-a-Bag in my neighborhood.

I have never, ever had an issue with the wonderful people who worked there. Until now.

Apparently, white people are on notice at this gas station.

I get inclusion, diversity, but some times it is taken a bit too far with the younger generation.

Two nights ago, I got slammed for being a redskin fan and I should know better. I haven't watched football since the craziness of renaming the team. 

Tonight, I used the air pump thing and not only did it not work. it let the air out of my tire even more. 

The young man on duty behind the register told me to ask the young man outside on a personal call. 

I am sorry I interrupted him.. 

He walked over to the air station with me, and boy he had a bug up his ass. 

He was pissed he had to help me, and after being a dick, the last straw for me was telling me the bald tire was the reason the machine did not work.

Does the air machine have a tread sensor on it? NO!

Tire tread has nothing to do with  inflation unless punctured.  I assume he was having a really bad day but he turned the mood onto me, and I am always glad to return the favor.

Just cuz your black, does not mean you get a free pass for being a dick for no reason.

Also, there was a cop who lingered around, for what I have no idea. 

Anyhoo, this kid must have taddled on me - for giving rudeness back to him  - so this black cop pulled up behind my car's ass. You know the drill when you are in trouble with a cop....they get up really close to your car's ass.

So I see the headlights out of my rear view mirror while I was checking my dashboard to check the tire level. I get out of my car, look at the headlights and the kid standing next to the cop's driver side window. 

The kid looks at me and says, " He is speaking to you." in a very rude tone. How the fuck would I know the cop was speaking to me. I could not see him behind the headlights, nor hear him because he was in his fucking vehicle.

I think the kid was hoping I would instigate something. I did not. You know why? Because white people are not stupid and don't fuck with cops. We raise our hands, say yes sir, nor sir...etc....

I walked up to the cop in is car and he asked is there a problem. I said the machine is broken and I had to buy a $12 can of glue stuff to refill my tire ( and by the way- I want to be refunded for that ).

I told him it did not work but I am only a few miles up the road and I can hobble my car home. Am I going to have trouble with you?

He asked why?

I said because you are 2 feet up the ass of my car and wondering if you are going to pull me over once I get in to drive it home.

He said., "Why would I do that?"

I said, "Because I would be driving with an inflated wheel and dangerous conditions. You can make up what you want. Do you think black people are the only ones scared of a cop who is clearly trying to prove a point?"

He took off after that, and the kid sauntered away with a smug and still shitty attitude.

I am sad. Wag-a-Bag made convenient stores feel like family and now this Refuel comes in and hires a bunch of over-woke twentysomething with chips on their fucking shoulder.

Will be finding a new station.

1.14.2022

Scared Mother Fucking Parents are getting pussy whipped!

 need I say more?

You are so scared to be a parent and fuck things up, you are fucking them up 10X to the trillionth whatever the fuck!

By the time this sad little parenting saga is over, we will be dealing with the aftermath of kids who never really wanted a sex change.

They were just pressured into it by peer pressure, principals, and teachers who wanted to pat themselves on the back for not being homophobes or racists and pushed the agenda too fucking FAR!!!!!!!!!!