12.03.2018
Date: Have you thought about bigger breasts?
Me: No, have you thought about a bigger dick?
Sincerely,
The Blonde
Do You Kill the Cat Before Christmas? Or wait?
Once upon a time, there was this young tuxedo cat named Lola
She could scale walls and dance on rooftops with very little effort. She took great pride in her fanciful, feline maneuvers.
20 years later ....
The princess of prowling walks across the ledge forgetting her legs don't pirouette like a Bolshoi ballerina any more.
So, on the corner ledge, 3 stories up from the pool. there she sits crying and looking for the screen to magically open up.
Her Mother finds her and ponders leaving her there or calling the fire department.
After a long pause and high pitched mew sounding more urgent than ever, the Mother is rushed to a decision and finds the best course of action is to cut through the window screen and pull in the damsel in distress.
Let it be said....
Lola better be asking Santa Paws for a new 60 x 36 screen with a white aluminum frame, or she will be getting coal in her stocking.
The Blonde is over kitty litter!
Worst Date Ever?
Haa,
Not nearly.
Many dates have wrecked off this Blonde's shore over the past three decades—so many, in fact, that I have built a blog of all the ships that have sailed. So many, that this damsel gets tired of writing about them and comes up with other stories to amuse herself while on this isolated island.
This last one was a psychiatrist with a successful family mental health practice.
His kid is 17, quit school because he does not like it, and Daddy said OK.
Daddy Psychologist is a pot head. He deals with other people's shit all day, that he has no time to deal with his own kid. His kid is also a pothead. Duh
But I jumped ahead.
We chose a date and time to meet, I called Lyft-because Uber is a dick- and just as I texted him, I am on my way, he asks if we can delay the date because his fucking football game is in over-time.
OK
I get it, this is Texas..I am not a bitch and get the passion. So I say, fuck the restaurant, and will meet you at the bar.
I meet him at the sports bar, and he is loaded to the gills. He had been vaping since 4:20 my friends.
Still cool about the shit, because I wanted to see the Turnpike Troubadours, and it was a sold out show.
I know, fuck you...if you heard the Turnpike Troubadors live, you would put up with a little shit too.
Well, I was cool until Dr. Psych started baa-ing like a sheep really loudly. I think he was trying to shout "YEAH"", but it came out "BAHHH".
At that point, I had to leave.
A shit load of cowboys were looking his way and I didn't need to be in the way.
The Blonde went home with a Lyft.
Not nearly.
Many dates have wrecked off this Blonde's shore over the past three decades—so many, in fact, that I have built a blog of all the ships that have sailed. So many, that this damsel gets tired of writing about them and comes up with other stories to amuse herself while on this isolated island.
This last one was a psychiatrist with a successful family mental health practice.
His kid is 17, quit school because he does not like it, and Daddy said OK.
Daddy Psychologist is a pot head. He deals with other people's shit all day, that he has no time to deal with his own kid. His kid is also a pothead. Duh
But I jumped ahead.
We chose a date and time to meet, I called Lyft-because Uber is a dick- and just as I texted him, I am on my way, he asks if we can delay the date because his fucking football game is in over-time.
OK
I get it, this is Texas..I am not a bitch and get the passion. So I say, fuck the restaurant, and will meet you at the bar.
I meet him at the sports bar, and he is loaded to the gills. He had been vaping since 4:20 my friends.
Still cool about the shit, because I wanted to see the Turnpike Troubadours, and it was a sold out show.
I know, fuck you...if you heard the Turnpike Troubadors live, you would put up with a little shit too.
Well, I was cool until Dr. Psych started baa-ing like a sheep really loudly. I think he was trying to shout "YEAH"", but it came out "BAHHH".
At that point, I had to leave.
A shit load of cowboys were looking his way and I didn't need to be in the way.
The Blonde went home with a Lyft.
11.30.2018
You are Fundamentally Failing
We all are.
Because we have grown so complacent and used to being selfish, that we can not see the bigger picture.
I realize this seems hypocritical coming from the dark side of the blonde.
But there is a better me. It is just not shown on this blog.
This blog still believes in killing ugly and stupid babies.
But more later, I have another date to crush.
The Blonde is off to slay another heart!
Because we have grown so complacent and used to being selfish, that we can not see the bigger picture.
I realize this seems hypocritical coming from the dark side of the blonde.
But there is a better me. It is just not shown on this blog.
This blog still believes in killing ugly and stupid babies.
But more later, I have another date to crush.
The Blonde is off to slay another heart!
You Must Go
I have had no interaction with Amazon in the past three months, so I must go.
I have not engaged enough on Facebook, so I must go.
Google tells me I have to go...
To where?
I am here, and will remain here.
Do not go quiet into the night, said some author some time ago. I think I will go with his words.
My blog is not on death's door.
I have been quiet because I am following Sun Tzu's rule about doing nothing when you do not know what to do.
In the past, I applied this rule literally but that pushed me back 10 years. Now I use his readings figuratively, and seem to be moving forward.
Of course what do I know?
This blonde has been in limbo so long, most everyone she knows is dead. Which, sadly but fortunately, actually will work out better for me.
Yes, I used adverbs in the end...get over it!
I have not engaged enough on Facebook, so I must go.
Google tells me I have to go...
To where?
I am here, and will remain here.
Do not go quiet into the night, said some author some time ago. I think I will go with his words.
My blog is not on death's door.
I have been quiet because I am following Sun Tzu's rule about doing nothing when you do not know what to do.
In the past, I applied this rule literally but that pushed me back 10 years. Now I use his readings figuratively, and seem to be moving forward.
Of course what do I know?
This blonde has been in limbo so long, most everyone she knows is dead. Which, sadly but fortunately, actually will work out better for me.
Yes, I used adverbs in the end...get over it!
11.21.2018
My Cell Phone
I have the same number for over 20 years and never have answered call.
What or why do you think that will change?
My cell is not used a phone.
It is my connect. Send me coordinates to a VIP part'e & I am there.
The Blonde never answers a cell, idiots!
What or why do you think that will change?
My cell is not used a phone.
It is my connect. Send me coordinates to a VIP part'e & I am there.
The Blonde never answers a cell, idiots!
Match.com again
The only thing I can say about Match.com is...
Most men have been on it for years.
The men do not get better looking as they age.
Men get stupid and forget to delete old pics when they were young, and just keep adding, until hot turns into not.
Most men are married.
Many men have anger issues because their wives cheated on them and looking to fuck up a woman with aloof behavior.
I paid for 6 months on a birthday whim.
It was better than cutting off my Goldie locks.
Match.com still sucks...but what the hell, it is just as fun as Netflix. And it is the same price
.
The Blonde is happy to waste time on net dicks!
Most men have been on it for years.
The men do not get better looking as they age.
Men get stupid and forget to delete old pics when they were young, and just keep adding, until hot turns into not.
Most men are married.
Many men have anger issues because their wives cheated on them and looking to fuck up a woman with aloof behavior.
I paid for 6 months on a birthday whim.
It was better than cutting off my Goldie locks.
Match.com still sucks...but what the hell, it is just as fun as Netflix. And it is the same price
.
The Blonde is happy to waste time on net dicks!
Finally, A Killer Chick I like!!
Can I replace chicks I hate without killing them?
The Blonde is just wondering...
Boss Ass Kissing Blondie Style
My kid and his troop is up for a Bronze Star after shutting down insurgents, but yeah...
I guess it is cool your 12 year old kid left a stupid note with black magic marker on the white board that no one uses in our office.
The Blonde is not sure, but thinks this is enough ass kissing.
If not, fucking, kill me!
11.16.2018
Fucking Passwords!
I am so sick of using my cell phone to reset passwords.
What fucking bizness is it of your Google to know my cell number?
Track me, sell me like a whore?
Google was always, just another guy that could not fuck the girl they wanted and now they have the power to fuck the girl that still does not want them.
Is the Blonde wrong?
What fucking bizness is it of your Google to know my cell number?
Track me, sell me like a whore?
Google was always, just another guy that could not fuck the girl they wanted and now they have the power to fuck the girl that still does not want them.
Is the Blonde wrong?
11.14.2018
Chobani My Ass its Healthy
It is a thickened yogurt with locust bean gum. Tis shit is no better than ice cream.
Look at the ingredients, the carb count and what extra protein?
And I love not how Chobani can get away with stating locally sourced milk. I am Texas so you rsource is not local to me asshole!!
And how did this Turk / Persian get the money to buy a small Kraft plant in upstate New York?
I read the rags to riches bullshit stories on this guy, but he is Persian and to me that means still laundering the shit load of money the U.S. left behind.
How do middle eastern immigrants get these loans for companies and yet Americans struggle to find help with theirs?
I call bullshit on Chobani and think their yogurt is a fraud. It is not healthy and dumb-ass Americans need to stop thinking it is better than pure acidophilus yogurt!
The blonde tires of ignorant dieters!
Look at the ingredients, the carb count and what extra protein?
And I love not how Chobani can get away with stating locally sourced milk. I am Texas so you rsource is not local to me asshole!!
And how did this Turk / Persian get the money to buy a small Kraft plant in upstate New York?
I read the rags to riches bullshit stories on this guy, but he is Persian and to me that means still laundering the shit load of money the U.S. left behind.
How do middle eastern immigrants get these loans for companies and yet Americans struggle to find help with theirs?
The Cato Institute has challenged the justification of the federal government in intervening in credit markets.[25][26] Among other criticisms, Cato argues that "the SBA benefits a relatively tiny number of small businesses at the expense of the vast majority of small business that do not receive government assistance. SBA subsidies also represent a form of corporate welfare for the banking industry." Cato notes that the failure rate of all SBA loans from 2001 to 2010 is 19.4%,[25] contributing to a cost to taxpayers of $6.2 billion in 2011.[27]
In 2005, SBA Inspector General Report 5-15 stated, "One of the most important challenges facing the Small Business Administration and the entire Federal government today is that large businesses are receiving small business procurement awards and agencies are receiving credit for these awards."[28]
In October 2009, the Government Accountability Office released Report 10-108 which stated, "By failing to hold firms accountable, SBA and contracting agencies have sent a message to the contracting community that there is no punishment or consequences for committing fraud."
I call bullshit on Chobani and think their yogurt is a fraud. It is not healthy and dumb-ass Americans need to stop thinking it is better than pure acidophilus yogurt!
The blonde tires of ignorant dieters!
11.13.2018
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