The Day has Come

I have outlived all my family...the last one died a few weeks ago.

I won't say who.

I won't say why.

I won't say anything other than goodbye.

My heart would be broken beyond repair

but since it has no beat

only memory serves to conjure despair


It is the same feeling an amputee feels. The pain of an appendage long gone but pain resides some where in the brain.


I have been alone for many years but always had the hope of reuniting; now that is gone.

Alone is really all alone.

Hope is for no reason.

I am at a complete loss and have no hunger any more; not even for fat police officers...and they were always my comfort food.

Mourning for a bit but will be back as always...I have a life that will not expire so you can be quite comforted in the fact that this blog will last longer than you.

Letting the Pain Go

Being undead has its perks...love is never the issue these days!

I see Glimpses of the Life I wanted

I wish I knew how to reconcile them with my new thoughts.

I guess like anyone who goes through a life change wisdom begins to set in and we learn to live or die trying.

It is time to start smiling again.

I am going back in my casket and travelling the world for this summer.

Stay tuned!

The Witching Hour

My favorite time of the day...or to the living your night.

This is when I come alive and begin my search for truth.....

The days I used to live...bad, worse but in some ways almost amazing...

and if you believe that, I have some swamp to sell you.

My dead is better than my past life

Oops...I have some freinds visiting me tonight...if you remember from a while ago my Bentley casket was confiscated in Europe...my new freinds have brought it back to me


so voila...


again tomorrow late at night when killing is easiest do I return

Don't be Like me...Don't Let Life Be Your End

Don't forget to feed my fish...someone will have to when I go.....

Oh yes the undead have a choice to live and die just like you....only I know where my atoms will go

Even a Donkey Knows You Have to Save Itself

Rehan Allahwala

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

Life Seems so Inevitable

Every night we go to bed crying and hoping for a better life. We think about dying until we re actually dead and then all we think of is what could have been.

But what could have been only exists in our fantasy. Life is what life is, right?

We were born under either a lucky star or one that was very unlucky.

The lucky ones have it so easy. 

For the unlucky ones, we cave to internal hate and disgust. We are too old to blame our parents, even though they are to blame for almost everything.

No child was ever born a bad child. No child was ever born lacking self esteem or confidence unless....

They stood alone when ever they were hurt.

And many of us were hurt. I am not alone and neither are you.

I have the freedom to write about this now because nothing shames me any more. Nothing hurts me any more.

But it stills hurts you. I hear the ache in your hearts as you try to fall asleep and all the world is coming down on you.

Where will you live? Where will you find food? Where will you find anyone to love you and take care of you before it is too late?

I would say one day it will be better but you know better than that.

So I will say good night and tomorrow will be another wretched day but keep the faith...at least your not dead like me....if you take a chance you could feel something.

Fight to feel or come to my side....no hunger, no taste, no thirst,no passion....no nothing other than games with people as my little rats

As a Little Girl Did you Ever feel Like this?

Let them all be caged!!!

Feed my fish...that is all I ask!