4.30.2012
4.28.2012
Bringing up the Past
Have fun with Blondies past!! I am reposting some old blogs.....It will be fun to see how much of what I said back then holds up to what I think now!!!
The Internet has made it so easy for us, as a society to order almost anything we can imagine online; from guns to tampons to even a mate. It is the online looking for a mate that I wish to guide you through.
Like any goods you order online, you must understand Internet dating falls under the same caveat emptor rule; let the buyer beware. You may not be paying for a custom ordered man, but you do spend good money based on a promise that you will find someone using the online tools that will customize your search for the promise of finding him. Unlike ordering goods online, when you have a bad date or feel you have been used, you cannot get a credit for that mistake.
It’s my intent to spare you a little emotional recoil by limiting your chances of having a bad internet date blow up in your face with just a few simple lessons I learned along the way.
I use free sites. After using the major online dating services, and being a bargain shopper at heart, I find I have the inner circle knowledge of how to get the good stuff for free just by digging a little harder for it and knowing what to watch out for.
Warning: Don’t try this at home. I am a seasoned professional and know what I am doing to avoid being hurt. It is best for first time users to use one of the more legitimate dating sites keeping in mind that these sites are not immune to the contamination of all around scummies like married men, serial daters, and erotic email seekers.
First of all, you need to know that having a good sense of humor is certainly required for this sort of venture if you are to survive with minimal and mendable heart breakage. Make no mistake; one or two breaks will happen no matter how many precautions you take. Also, realize that surfing online dating sites for potential love interests is a lot like looking through an online catalog for clothes or shoes. You have to realize, you are probably going to skip over some good stuff because the photo or description didn’t feel like it quite fit you, and vice versa. Men are viewing you as a perfect fit, as well, and may pass you up for simply not feeling it online. Just like you passing them up, it’s OK they pass you up. If you think they are passing you up? For a Manola Blahnik type, just look up Manola Blanhik shoe images online and see if not one of them isn’t high maintenance and won’t hurt after wearing it for a very short engagement. Chuckle at their chagrin and then grin again, knowing that you are someone else’s perfect Gucci loafer and he is just waiting to settle in and love you, comfortably and for a long time.
When you first fill out a profile for whatever dating site you choose, the question of age becomes a bit of a quandary, at least for those who might have found and plucked an odd hair or two discovered growing out of one of their nipples. Never fear. Do not let this deter you; it’s only a myth that women have an expiration date. Just remember, if you are getting older, so are the men. There will always be an endless supply of them. So pluck away the nipple hair with all the vigor of a twenty year old picking a zit at the mirror. Just for the record, older men are picking nose and ear hairs with the same vigilance, or at least I hope so.
There is a smudge on the progression of Internet dating sites that gives a viable reason to lie about your age. You see, Internet dating has been up long enough for everyone, who utilizes this form of meet ups, knows that false advertising works in some degree and is prevalent among profiles. So many profiles play on false numbers, almost like a car dealer. Most profiles lie and so everyone suspects your profile of lying as well, even if you don’t. If you plug in your real age, most will assume you are two to four years older. I say take two years off your real age, if it’s after nipple hair growth. It’s just enough to be able to fess up without crumbling to an ageist who is super concerned about your tits falling to the floor when they unbutton your shirt and still keep you in the running for searches that take four years off to compensate for the false advertisers.
Next on the list of boxes that can create a dilemma for anyone, over a size 6, is the body type box. Your uploaded pictures will correlate to this box and honesty is the best policy for this one. This is like buying a size four dress that you convince yourself you will lose enough weight in time to squeeze into it for a reunion. Don’t even attempt this femme fatal rule. You are not going to drop that extra 10lbs in time for a date next Thursday. I found from listening to the plethora of men I meet, this is not something that can be overcome.
....and the rest.....
Whoopsie....
I would give you more but apparently I did not cut and paste the whole post before it was deleted...
Awkward...
Egg on my face...
I will have to get back to ya!
The Blonde is on a hiatus!
The Internet has made it so easy for us, as a society to order almost anything we can imagine online; from guns to tampons to even a mate. It is the online looking for a mate that I wish to guide you through.
Like any goods you order online, you must understand Internet dating falls under the same caveat emptor rule; let the buyer beware. You may not be paying for a custom ordered man, but you do spend good money based on a promise that you will find someone using the online tools that will customize your search for the promise of finding him. Unlike ordering goods online, when you have a bad date or feel you have been used, you cannot get a credit for that mistake.
It’s my intent to spare you a little emotional recoil by limiting your chances of having a bad internet date blow up in your face with just a few simple lessons I learned along the way.
I use free sites. After using the major online dating services, and being a bargain shopper at heart, I find I have the inner circle knowledge of how to get the good stuff for free just by digging a little harder for it and knowing what to watch out for.
Warning: Don’t try this at home. I am a seasoned professional and know what I am doing to avoid being hurt. It is best for first time users to use one of the more legitimate dating sites keeping in mind that these sites are not immune to the contamination of all around scummies like married men, serial daters, and erotic email seekers.
First of all, you need to know that having a good sense of humor is certainly required for this sort of venture if you are to survive with minimal and mendable heart breakage. Make no mistake; one or two breaks will happen no matter how many precautions you take. Also, realize that surfing online dating sites for potential love interests is a lot like looking through an online catalog for clothes or shoes. You have to realize, you are probably going to skip over some good stuff because the photo or description didn’t feel like it quite fit you, and vice versa. Men are viewing you as a perfect fit, as well, and may pass you up for simply not feeling it online. Just like you passing them up, it’s OK they pass you up. If you think they are passing you up? For a Manola Blahnik type, just look up Manola Blanhik shoe images online and see if not one of them isn’t high maintenance and won’t hurt after wearing it for a very short engagement. Chuckle at their chagrin and then grin again, knowing that you are someone else’s perfect Gucci loafer and he is just waiting to settle in and love you, comfortably and for a long time.
When you first fill out a profile for whatever dating site you choose, the question of age becomes a bit of a quandary, at least for those who might have found and plucked an odd hair or two discovered growing out of one of their nipples. Never fear. Do not let this deter you; it’s only a myth that women have an expiration date. Just remember, if you are getting older, so are the men. There will always be an endless supply of them. So pluck away the nipple hair with all the vigor of a twenty year old picking a zit at the mirror. Just for the record, older men are picking nose and ear hairs with the same vigilance, or at least I hope so.
There is a smudge on the progression of Internet dating sites that gives a viable reason to lie about your age. You see, Internet dating has been up long enough for everyone, who utilizes this form of meet ups, knows that false advertising works in some degree and is prevalent among profiles. So many profiles play on false numbers, almost like a car dealer. Most profiles lie and so everyone suspects your profile of lying as well, even if you don’t. If you plug in your real age, most will assume you are two to four years older. I say take two years off your real age, if it’s after nipple hair growth. It’s just enough to be able to fess up without crumbling to an ageist who is super concerned about your tits falling to the floor when they unbutton your shirt and still keep you in the running for searches that take four years off to compensate for the false advertisers.
Next on the list of boxes that can create a dilemma for anyone, over a size 6, is the body type box. Your uploaded pictures will correlate to this box and honesty is the best policy for this one. This is like buying a size four dress that you convince yourself you will lose enough weight in time to squeeze into it for a reunion. Don’t even attempt this femme fatal rule. You are not going to drop that extra 10lbs in time for a date next Thursday. I found from listening to the plethora of men I meet, this is not something that can be overcome.
....and the rest.....
Whoopsie....
I would give you more but apparently I did not cut and paste the whole post before it was deleted...
Awkward...
Egg on my face...
I will have to get back to ya!
The Blonde is on a hiatus!
4.26.2012
I Do Not Bake Cookies!!
Donald Zlot (names have been changed to protect the innocent from suits brought on by dirty slandering liars) is in for a rude awakening.
I could have dismissed his many attempts to treat me like an inconsequential fleeb.
I sat there and took it for most of the comments on the US Army News website.
But he broke the camel's back when he suggested I stick to baking cookies for my son.
I do not BAKE Mr Zlot!!
What I do...do...Mr Zlot is fact check credentials so far back in time that I can pin point your first sneeze and where you did it!!
I could care less about your sneeze Zlot..what I care about is taking you off the comments of our US Army News Website.
And for those just tuning in...this is just a tip of the racist and chauvinistic iceberg that Mr Zlot is:
to help you grab a picture in your mind....
Mr Donald Zlot posted this on his Facebook page:
"Today we have a college president who remains in her job at Rhodes because she is black. Black Pastor Ron Fails has twice been arrested for soliciting prostitutes and is still the pastor of his congregation and we are supposed to respect black leaders? The first time he tried running down an undercover police officer with his red Mercedes. Another prominent black leader in town runs a bar where there is constant trouble. Public schools with large black populations are disaster areas in education and the citadels of “dumbing down” and now blacks claim they are being treated unfairly?"
The Blonde does not bake!!!
I could have dismissed his many attempts to treat me like an inconsequential fleeb.
I sat there and took it for most of the comments on the US Army News website.
But he broke the camel's back when he suggested I stick to baking cookies for my son.
I do not BAKE Mr Zlot!!
What I do...do...Mr Zlot is fact check credentials so far back in time that I can pin point your first sneeze and where you did it!!
I could care less about your sneeze Zlot..what I care about is taking you off the comments of our US Army News Website.
And for those just tuning in...this is just a tip of the racist and chauvinistic iceberg that Mr Zlot is:
to help you grab a picture in your mind....
Mr Donald Zlot posted this on his Facebook page:
"Today we have a college president who remains in her job at Rhodes because she is black. Black Pastor Ron Fails has twice been arrested for soliciting prostitutes and is still the pastor of his congregation and we are supposed to respect black leaders? The first time he tried running down an undercover police officer with his red Mercedes. Another prominent black leader in town runs a bar where there is constant trouble. Public schools with large black populations are disaster areas in education and the citadels of “dumbing down” and now blacks claim they are being treated unfairly?"
The Blonde does not bake!!!
4.22.2012
I Tip
I am a tipper. And not only 20% tipping..I tip as I walk.
I read about the royalty of the Japanese binding their feet. Being ADD and all of 10, I did not quite get the whole jest of the concept.
What I did get out of it, was that small feet were attractive. Why I thought my feet needed to be beautiful and attractive at such a young age is a vague mystery to me.
But I wanted pretty, little feet.
So I began to curl my toes anytime my Mother tried to buy me new shoes. She, like most Mothers, do a silly thumb test to see if there is room in the shoe for growth.
I would curl my toes and get a pair that fit too tight. And then I would proceed to tie the laces even tighter to restrict the growth of my foot.
It worked.
I am 5'9", almost shy of 5'10" and I have a size 7 foot; but beauty comes with a price and my small feet are not dismissed from the penalty charge incurred by vanity.
I tip.
If I walk straight and look to the left, I tip to the left. If I walk straight and look to the right, I tip to the right.
I also trip just walking down the hall of my own home.
I should have had bigger feet and a bit more broader..but I don't.
I squeezed my feet into shoes two times too small for me for over 8 years of my youth.
And I have the prettiest little size 7 foot to show for it.
I have a little walking impediment to show for it.
I have pretty little feet, pretty little breasts, and pretty little thoughts of how all the things I have done will catch me a fine man...
And then age caught me...
I try to squish my age through out the years...
but as hard as I try, I can not curl my toes under the watchful eyes of Father Time.
So, I beg Mother Nature to help me proverbial curl myself into lasting a little longer.
I think Mother Nature is on my side.
She knows I am a late bloomer and also the runt in the world of Darwin's best.
So she helps me out!!!
I think she helps me because she knows, I am simple but smart.
She knows I am not cut from the same cloth as everyone else and so she grants me the grace of time...
Mother Nature grants me 15 years off my looks...but in time that grant will be waived....
And when my looks fade...
I will have only the curse of my heart that remains viewing the world as a naive child who thinks Utopia can be a real place.
I hold the world to a reasonable effort to grow up and meet the expectations of the Utopia I read in 'Candide'.
I am angry at our society just as much as Thomas Paine is in his address to the people in 'Common Sense'.
I understand the reasoning of these books but I am too simple to change anything.
I am too ignorant to figure out how to change people to see the world as I see it.
I see a socialist society where everyone cares about everyone else...and everyone wants everyone to be happy and have the same respect no matter what the fortune they carry.
But a pure world of these fortunate wants are marred by the those who have the bank and refuse to let free of the noose that strangle themselves and our public on.......we breed the poor to admire wealth without respect for the person behind the golden curtain.
Its Dorothy's trip all over again.
The Wizard of OZ was written as a protest to the government and the manipulation of swapping paper money for gold and debunking silver.
Monopoly was a game to teach the youth how bank lenders steal from the farmers!!!
But you are all grown up now,...and you don;t read the stories nor play the games I do...
You are so much smarter than the Blonde!
I read about the royalty of the Japanese binding their feet. Being ADD and all of 10, I did not quite get the whole jest of the concept.
What I did get out of it, was that small feet were attractive. Why I thought my feet needed to be beautiful and attractive at such a young age is a vague mystery to me.
But I wanted pretty, little feet.
So I began to curl my toes anytime my Mother tried to buy me new shoes. She, like most Mothers, do a silly thumb test to see if there is room in the shoe for growth.
I would curl my toes and get a pair that fit too tight. And then I would proceed to tie the laces even tighter to restrict the growth of my foot.
It worked.
I am 5'9", almost shy of 5'10" and I have a size 7 foot; but beauty comes with a price and my small feet are not dismissed from the penalty charge incurred by vanity.
I tip.
If I walk straight and look to the left, I tip to the left. If I walk straight and look to the right, I tip to the right.
I also trip just walking down the hall of my own home.
I should have had bigger feet and a bit more broader..but I don't.
I squeezed my feet into shoes two times too small for me for over 8 years of my youth.
And I have the prettiest little size 7 foot to show for it.
I have a little walking impediment to show for it.
I have pretty little feet, pretty little breasts, and pretty little thoughts of how all the things I have done will catch me a fine man...
And then age caught me...
I try to squish my age through out the years...
but as hard as I try, I can not curl my toes under the watchful eyes of Father Time.
So, I beg Mother Nature to help me proverbial curl myself into lasting a little longer.
I think Mother Nature is on my side.
She knows I am a late bloomer and also the runt in the world of Darwin's best.
So she helps me out!!!
I think she helps me because she knows, I am simple but smart.
She knows I am not cut from the same cloth as everyone else and so she grants me the grace of time...
Mother Nature grants me 15 years off my looks...but in time that grant will be waived....
And when my looks fade...
I will have only the curse of my heart that remains viewing the world as a naive child who thinks Utopia can be a real place.
I hold the world to a reasonable effort to grow up and meet the expectations of the Utopia I read in 'Candide'.
I am angry at our society just as much as Thomas Paine is in his address to the people in 'Common Sense'.
I understand the reasoning of these books but I am too simple to change anything.
I am too ignorant to figure out how to change people to see the world as I see it.
I see a socialist society where everyone cares about everyone else...and everyone wants everyone to be happy and have the same respect no matter what the fortune they carry.
But a pure world of these fortunate wants are marred by the those who have the bank and refuse to let free of the noose that strangle themselves and our public on.......we breed the poor to admire wealth without respect for the person behind the golden curtain.
Its Dorothy's trip all over again.
The Wizard of OZ was written as a protest to the government and the manipulation of swapping paper money for gold and debunking silver.
Monopoly was a game to teach the youth how bank lenders steal from the farmers!!!
But you are all grown up now,...and you don;t read the stories nor play the games I do...
You are so much smarter than the Blonde!
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