4.15.2012

Ally McBeal

I have been watching reruns of Ally McBeal and realizing, I am a lot like the character. I am easily provoked with matters of the heart. I am romantic in a world that is very anti-romance these days.

This past month, I have had to deal with a married jerk soliciting sex on MySpace. a jealous woman calling my phone 18 times a day (of which I have quickly nipped in the butt..that story to come later), and the colossal mistake of buying a ticket on a whim of chance love.

Men seem to want to hop in bed so quickly theses days. Its a total turn off to me and quite frankly, no relationship ever comes about such quick interludes. The best that will come about this premature ejaculation situation is a relationship slanted on the side of sex and to develop the rest of personality, romance, and love in order to bond is next to impossible.

Not to mention Internet dating has turned the prospects of love into a game of the contestants getting the prize but wanting more of a prize. No one bothers to stop spinning the prize wheel with online dating. They come home from a date and immediately log on to their perspective dating sites to see if they can do better.

Anyhoo,

One of the episodes talks about the reality of finding someone who is right as opposed to finding the one true love of their life. In the end, the character succumbs and marries the Ms. Right instead of holding out for a fantasy that will never happen. And if it did, it probably would be under false pretense. Of course the dude was way obese and chugging for a heart attack..but I digress..

Back to the story...

I have been holding out for the perfect one myself and that is why I am alone. There is no easy answer. There is not that perfect love and if you wait too long or keep seeking it out..you just might miss someone really great to love.

And we all have done this. That is why we invented drunk dialing. We all know there are missed opportunities and even though our heart is not in it...during a drunken stupor...our heart tells out head how stupid we are and thus a drunk email or drunk dial is imminent...sometimes.

I am not saying to ditch your dreams or your dream girl or dream guy..

I am just saying that dream girl or guy could be the one but was never given a chance because we looked for an upgrade.

We have two options in this life and for me...that option is hopeless romantic, holding on to finding something I know what come. I like the chase of the dream..

I haven't quite figured out how to settle down and make a perfect life with someone. I am disillusioned in the dream that it all comes wrapped in a pretty perfect package. Only, every time I unwrap the package...it is never the prize I think it is.

Don't make the same mistake as me.

Love is not in the leading man but the story of finding someone who can be your leading man..or woman!!


That is a Blondism!!

4.10.2012

I Want This Kind of Love

 

 I Wont Get It!! But A Blonde Can Dream!!!

Ala-Bam-Kalla-Zam

Hey Agenda 21 Redneck Radio...

Free speech allows for pornography, KKK, and the uneducated bible belt fools from Alabama.

We the people, of the U.S. Constitution and its Bill of Rights, protect you like we protect the mentally disabled, minorities, and gay community...

You breed contempt for the ignorant to propagate!! I would use hillbilly speech but your language eludes me.

What does, "speaking your alluser..." mean? Your radio co-host used it in reference to the white drunk who was 'decapitated' by an ordinance which is not a law!

And right after that in banjo strum timing...your cohort laughed on-air by mistake to the Hispanic who called in and you covered it up by speech not covered in any slang dictionary, let alone the Webster or the Oxford...those are also dictionaries you may not be aware of!!!

And by the way...Marines are not the brain washed opium farmers for the Afghans..and I have sent that comment on to the Marines for verification!

Marines are the uneducated crew of the military and so they replicate the ignorance of your radio show but they are defending our country why you are...

Satan's biggest and brightest student!!

Satan can not live without the likes of your ass!!

I had Satan over for drinks the other night and he actually got drunk and cried; He was so embarrassed that your radio station is his most profitable media venue!!!


The Blonde Reminds Americans of Semper Fidelis!!

Everybody Hurts




The Blonde hurts for everyone!!!

I Swear to God

Kill me now!!

My heart aches. I mean full out hurts right now.

I was skimming the radio channels to get back to comedy radio from the classical music radio station. And since the radio is a SONY, you have to click your ass through every piece of crap station known to man just to get to my favorite stations. Programming is futile..SONY has never worked out the kinks to its radio channel save issues.

I should sue SONY for psychologically damaging me tonight. Emotional
distress is off the charts.

Agenda 21 radio broadcasting from Alabama!!

Racist, ignorant, down right chemically unstable individuals hosting a radio show for the like of them!!

I hope you read the previous in hillbilly format!!

I am not going to repeat what they said since I posted it to my twitter. Look to the right of the blog screen to see or join my tweet at blindedbyblonde


I can not share this earth with these people!

I hope the Mayan end comes true. I am willing to sacrifice my life and my families just to see these souls die in a furious fire of hell bent biblical proportions brought on by a bunch of Mayans who coked their way out out of existence!!

The Irony would please me very much!

I only ask the Deities at hand bring back life that excludes these most disgusting, racist, ignorant fools, who truly believe they are above being brain washed from the medicated water the government is forcing them to drink, and they are way smarter than anyone else out there.

The Bible speaks of hell..and of this I believe...only Hell is not some spit fire, devil agenda hostel underground.

Hell is very much defined as the wrath of idiocy plaguing the earth and the way into the hell hole is through Alabama!!

The Blonde hopes Mother Nature wipes them out!!!

4.09.2012

Eat this, you pussy!!!

Testing for Turnips

One of my job applications passed through its internet bot and passed my app on to the testing bot. I had to take a general English and math test and then...

A work psych test...

They asked over and over how creative I was in solving problems..and while they promote creativity as one of their initial motivators for hiring...

I find the 'out of the box' thinkers are just being manipulated into a worm hole that will spit them out on the other end, bypassing any job opportunities.

Michael Dell said it best in an interview he gave to Forbes, "No one ever hires anyone they think is smarter or more motivated than themselves."

So the next time you see an ad that says 'think outside the box'. that is code for draw out the crazy smart and the Mensa crew...

Play smart but not too smart...

and keep your 'out of the box' thinking inside the lines.

No one wants to worry you will take their job away once they hire you.

The Blonde is testing her knowledge!

Harvesting for Harvard

I am 3k shy of my Harvard tuition.

I am about to sell off the last of my life from the pink house.

I have a 20x20 storage unit containing every thing that was not nailed down to my little pink cottage of love.

1200 square feet of inanimate objects that I collected through hard work and loving memories packed away in now what has become a sad and desolate time capsule.

If you open the door to my storage unit, the scent of my old home flows out.

Every rain storm my son and I danced in and dropped our soaked clothes onto the wood floor

Every bubble bath and shower that was taken in our giant claw foot tub that the cat liked to shit behind when she was mad

Every scented candle that was lit after my friends stayed way too long, drinking all my wine, and leaving their cigarette stench behind

Every meal I cooked with no more than 3 ingredients...salt, pepper, and the main one

The smell of detergent I used to wash the sheets and the fresh air they captured while I strung them up on a laundry line outside

These scents are only a whisper to the 70 years of life my house had before I moved in...

Florence, who owned the home before me, bought the house in 1937. She raised a family of 5 children who signed the deed over to me when I bought it.

I bought the house on a hand-shake. On the word of an honest man.

I asked if I should have a paper drawn up to secure the deal and he said, " I just gave you my word little darling. Why do need a piece of paper?"

I said I didn't need one.

I went on his word.

Everyone around me was pushing that I get it in writing.

Everyone around me was not me...

This life is full of takers and I hate most of everyone.

The last time I ever met anyone like me was the family who sold me my pink house.

"The eldest son told me," We have five of us and 10,000 a piece seems fair."

Not one of them argued. Not one thought they were cheated.

I owned that home for 15 years not looking to ever turn a profit.

I wanted the memory of their unselfish deed be a part of my life.

I am sorry I ruined it.

I am sorry I could not hold on to the house.

I am sorry the house has been flipped and turned for money sake.

The pink house deserved more than that. Its history deserved more than that.

My objects were only a brief memory for that house.

But my objects will pay for Harvard and my law degree will go to every living douche who ever thought money was more important than a life, a home, a history!!

The Blonde will legally whittle down the greedy!

4.06.2012

Sharing some vintage, primo momentos or is it momentoes? I need to ask Gore. Is he still alive?

Creepy dude....can;t remember who he is. But apparently I was pissed at him.

How dare this prick think I would have anything to do with him?

You know what pisses me off?

The fact that men who make money think women who don't make money are their playground for sexual deficiency.

This is the un-so suave romantic introduction from a very misguided, unhappily married twit:

Hey Veronica,
Stumbled across your Myspace page......
What a gorgeous, sexy lady....Yummy!.......
Not sure this will work for you, but here goes......
Me; 51 attorney in Austin-- Freetime during the days. Work downtown 6' 180 blond blue. Athletic build. Smart and fun. Dynamic and erotic. Confident and witty. Married....hey, at least I am honest! ....
I want a lady that can generate an intense mental and physical connection, a lady that is hot, mentally and physicially, for lust, passion and total body craving gotta-have-it sex on a recurring basis... ..
Interested???....


Not even the grace to spell check...

Asshole

The Blonde will shoot you down!

---Damn, I was pissed when I was alive. I like being undead. It seems so much better from my live life. Why was I so pathetic? jeezzz iz...


Sorry, no real God or son of God when your undead...

The Blonde is just trying to relate.;(

UnHoly Hell of a Funny




Spoiler alert..you will be totally offended if you have any religious affiliation!!

The Blonde is free from judgement!

Corrupt Your Kindle

Blinded By Blonde is now on Kindle

Follow the Kindle link and....

Help feed a Blonde!!!

Holy How

Did I miss that it is Easter this weekend? A blonde moment yes but I have disclaimers to go with it.

1. I don't have kids the age of reminding me about a giant bunny that hides eggs.

2. I am not Jewish, and although my friend is and reminded me of his big holiday,
I just thought Passover came before Easter like Hanuka and Christmas

3. I don't watch television and so I missed the Cadbury ads that shoves an egg up a bunnies ass just to plop it out for the big event. And if that is not embarrassing enough for the bunny...they totally kill its dignity with making it sound like a chicken.

The only good thing I can say is I am following the guidelines of Good Friday by not eating meat. And that is just a fluke really since I am into living a little healthier and meat has been off my menu for a while.

All in All, I wish everyone a fun 4 day weekend no matter what the occasion is.

The Blonde blesses the sanctity of a long weekend!