3.10.2012

Be Thankful!!



The Blonde thanks God everyday...even if she thinks there is nothing to be thankful for...

because in the end...no one died...and for that I am blessed!!!

3.05.2012

Smile Hard

and don't share your pain or tears.

That is the hard lesson of being single.

Every new date is someone who does not wish to hear anything other than how your presence will make them happier.

And so if you are angry at the world..

Or angry at yourself for failing at something...

Keep it to you yourself.

Cry in your pillow and in the morning wake up pretending all is alright...

Because being single does not lend itself to a shoulder to cry on....

Unless you count your cat and they don't like a heavy head on their shoulder.

So suck it up Blondie

No one really cares what you are going through!

3.04.2012

Political Opinion

We all have one. The cable news has more to fill a an entire sanitation truck and still over flow.

I won't get political. I have a son in Afghanistan and so anyone who does not have a family member in the war...needs to shut the FUCK up...

Santourm
Romney
Ginrich
Obama
Paul,
etc..etc..etc...

Just shut the fuck up!!!

Also, if you never took a birth control pill...
than shut the FUCK UP!

Santorum
Romney
Ginrich
Obama
Paul

etc, etc, etc....

SHUT THE FUCK Up says the BLONDE!!!

If you are worthy of being president than speak up...

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

The Blonde hears crickets!

East Coast Hop

I have to say eharmony and its personality test have not chosen anyone I would not have chosen for myself on match.

Many were ones that did not physically appeal to me and logistically, Eharmony is a nightmare. I could not find one person in my general locale to date.

I did drive a few times to Houston to see someone but that gets old really quick. And the fact he has 3 divorces behind his belt and he is a bit too old.

The men I am attracted to all live in New York so that is where I am going.

I will see Raine for an evening and then pass myself onto the new guy for the weekend.

I have never been to Greenwich and it will be a fun get-a-way...and who knows?

Its funny. I totally have a thing for cute Jewish guys. Its my Achilles heel.

Curly hair, funny, smart, and perfectly sized in body and height.

I have been in Austin for 20 years and not once did I date an Austinite. I don't get them. They certainly don't get me.

And Augusto does not count since he is originally from Boston and Equidor.

In order to get a jump on my love life before I die alone, I must make drastic changes and be fearless.

Either way, the blog will start back with dating stories--its about time, don't you think? Lets hope they don't end up as a horror story.

The Blonde is making a giant leap!!

3.03.2012

Gaining Momentum

especially my emotions.

I guess I was feeling the pangs of Boo landing in Afghanistan this week. I can only pray and hope and know he will be safe.

I on the other hand have to keep going with life here and that means sifting through a bit of sadness and figuring out how to get my groove again.

I am working on it.

I am planning for school and even a temporary move to the east coast for the summer.

I know things will be fine. I just need to stop hiding out in my room.

So, I am meeting old friends in New York.

Making new ones in Connecticut.

I am still looking for work but hopefully something will turn up.

Meanwhile, I can;t say I won;t get down some times but at least I know...

The Blonde always gets back up!

3.01.2012

Where is my Spirit?

You wake up and today is like any other day. It would never occur to you that a few blocks away from you someone has lost their spirit. Not their heart, not their soul but their spirit.

And you being 4 blocks away would never think that this would have anything to do with you but what if you caught it in a drift of wind?

OK, that would be crazy. A spirit does not float off into the wind. As a matter of fact a spirit is grounded inside each and every one of us and the only way to get it out is to beat it out of us

And a beaten and broken spirit has no chance of flying anywhere.

But where does it go?

Its beat, broken but not lost…not gone…
Beat and broken
The first place it will not want to be is where it was beat and broken

So not me
But my spirit belongs to no other so it is not hiding in anyone else
ok
so my spirit is not in me and not in another
it does not float or fly
for a broken spirit has no wings nor desire to be free
does it drag behind me?
In my shadow?
In my memory?
In the old me?
Does my cat hold it for me?
Can a cat hold a spirit?
Maybe that is why she is so fat.
A spirit like mine is a heavy one to hold.

When was the last time I used it?
When was the last time I believed in me?

It was the day I found the pink house.
The day I signed the papers.
It was mine.
I did it all on my own.

And then the sharks came one by one until it was gone.

In the end it was me….I could not defend myself against the sharks and I lost everything.

I was weak

I did not defend myself

I still have no idea how to defend myself but I know how to guard myself

I have a wall

that has kept me a prisoner.

There is no gate holding me other than my own head

SO let's chop it off!!!


The Blonde has nothing to loose!!

Broken Spirit




I hate when they say they broke a horse, as if it is something to brag about.

Breaking anything is nothing to be proud of.

I have had my share of broken hearts and I have worked out all of them.

I got over them and laugh at it.

But...

I have just realized that I have been hiding from life...

I thought my spirit was wounded but could ride it out.

Turns out..my spirit is broken.

I have not been healing or mending.

I have been hiding and dying.

I have been broken for a long time and hiding it very well from myself.


Well...

Now I know...

I see me and my brokenness

now

what do I do

to fix me?

Can the Blonde be fixed?

Love Should Be Guided by Fate

I have learned my lesson.

Love is nothing you can create out of thin air. You can not meet someone and pick and choose what works for you and decide this is enough to love them.

Family love is easy. It comes with birth. It comes without strings.

Finding love outside that is...

a gift.


Passion comes quick and fades just as fast.

The gift of love in equal parts between two people is a natural occurrence and yet to be replicated or cloned.

Love comes with a spark and grows without any work.

It is what it is.

Let fate decide for me.

I will not be roped into empty promises and painted pictures of what might be.

Pictures are not backed by substance.

Promises are made but hardly ever kept.

Men are strangers and until they build a three dimensional world for me...

I am not falling for their card tricks.

The Blonde is on cruise control!